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TexNickle
Reviews
Mickey, Donald, Goofy: The Three Musketeers (2004)
Mickey is still Kickin'
I was visiting my grandkids last week and after a long day of activities, and a family supper, my daughter asked me if I wanted to go down to the T.V. room and watch a movie with the kids.
At that moment it sounded like the worst idea I had heard in a long time. I had visions of watching some 3D flying robots or some brightly colored animated ponies. So, imagine my surprise when they said they wanted to watch their Mickey Mouse movie.
I've been around a long time and I can remember seeing Mickey shorts at the theater when I was a boy, and I had no idea that the kids today even knew who the little mouse was. In addition, I hadn't heard about any Mickey Mouse movies in a very long time, so I was intrigued to see what this movie that the kids all wanted to see was all about.
And let me tell you I sat down on the couch with my grandkids all around me and we all laughed at Mickey, Donald, and Goofy, as they barreled through their own wacky version of the Three Musketeers tale. The girls loved the Princess Minnie most, while the boys like the swash-buckling swordplay. We all like the fun music, with the very funny words.
I wondered if this had been some old movie that got lost in the Disney vaults, it was that good, and had such a timeless feel.
If you want to see a nice little family film that everyone in the house can have some fun with, I recommend this new Mickey Mouse movie to you and yours with full enthusiasm.
I'm Tex Nickle and I'm telling you that "Mickey is still Kickin'"
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005)
Another Summer Bummer
Burton's version of this classic '70's flick is just another stink bomb in the bummer summer of 2005.
Mr. Depp is a great actor, and one who has voiced his love of playing odd roles, and he pulls out a real doozy with his version of Willy Wonka. But do we really like this character? My answer is a clear no. He's way too creepy, and his motivations for having the golden ticket contest are never made believable in this picture.
Freddy Highmore as Charlie is one of the few bright spots in this current retelling.
The "new and improved" Oompa Loompas were a total bust. The new songs were the worst and I had no idea what the lyrics were even saying.
This version may be more faithful to the book, don't know as I never read it, but it sure makes for a lame movie.
The 1970's version clearly lacked the visual pizazz of the Burton flick, but it made up for that ten-fold by packing the story with heart. The Gene Wilder Wonka had a warmth, the Slugworth character gave Charlie and the other kids a much clearer dilemma. And many moments like the one where a kind-hearted Charlie momentarily tricks his grand folks into thinking he has the Golden Ticket because he wanted to see them all happy, are sadly missing from the new flick.
But worst of all this new version of the famous chocolate factory movie lacks "pure imagination", and I mean that in all its meanings.
I'm Tex Nickle and I seriously doubt this new version will live on in anyone's hearts and minds.
I Heart Huckabees (2004)
Wow, what a load
I Heart Huckabees is one of the worst films I've seen since Charles Bronson starred in The White Buffalo in the mid-1970's.
When Huckabees was released theatrically, I almost went to see it, but it moved on before I had the chance. In hindsight, I sure am glad I didn't pay real money to see this disaster, but rather saw it at a friends house on DVD. If I had shelled out any amount of money for this bomb, I don't know how I could have forgiven myself.
This film tries so hard and fails so miserably, it hurts to watch.
In an effort to tread on a Charlie Kaufman-esqe plot, the writer and director of this film trap themselves in a very small box that they have no idea how to escape. Nothing in this film works, the jokes fall flat, the concept is flawed, the acting is way over the top, and at points the film is downright offensive.
Now it's clear that some people on IMDb who probably like to wear black clothing, drink expensive coffee, and pretend to be artistes, have found this picture to be earth-shattering in it's brilliance. But if you are a normal human, and don't think that a polished up cow pie, is a thing of awe and wonder, then you should probably stay away from Huckabees.
I'm Tex Nickle and that's all I care to say about this picture.
Intolerable Cruelty (2003)
Elemental Charm
Those Coen boys almost always put out some good stuff, and while Intolerable Cruelty may not rank up there with the best of their work, it still beats the standard Hollywood drivel hands down.
The dialog is crisp and funny. It's chock full of little inside jokes, and subtle word play. The alliteration and double meaning of the character names made me laugh, as did the legal N.O.M.A.N. organization moniker.
The story is simple but sweet, it's not like real life, but it works. The film in some ways feels like a motion picture from the 1940s that has been brought forward into the modern day but somehow maintained it's elemental 40s style and charm.
If you like George Clooney or Catherine Zeta-Jones, then there's an added bonus for you.
I thought it was a fine way to spend an evening on the couch with someone I love.
I'm Tex Nickle and that's all I've got to say about Intolerable Cruelty.
Super Size Me (2004)
One Sided
OK,
I just rented Super Size Me, and I was not impressed. It felt like a guy had a definite pre-conceived notion of how things were going to turn out. And so, to make sure he proved his point, he poured the entire contents of the pancake syrup onto his breakfast plate, and drank two sodas, and ate two quarter pounders. And at the end of the film he wrapped it all up perfectly when he said that "no one really eats three meals a day at McDonalds". So what was the point? If all you ate were donuts, or cake, or TV dinners, and you stopped all your physical exercise, you'd get messed up to.
The real problem here is not the excessive consumption of McDonalds, or any fast food for that matter, but rather the incredible lack of exercise most people get in their lives today.
If he had eaten at McDonalds five times a week, kept up an active lifestyle, and eaten regularly for his other meals, I doubt the doctors would have seen any ill effect on this opportunistic film maker. Flat out, Bogus Tree Huggin' Propaganda.
I'm Tex Nickle and that's all I have to say about Super Size Me.
Lonely Place (2004)
Dark and Dusty
My brother and I just happened to catch Lonely Place at the Austin Film Festival, and I thought it was a well realized take on classic cinema of the past. I was looking for a different screening but happened upon Lonely Place during the opening credits. I thought the cast looked interesting, Tess Harper, Kurtwood Smith, and Thomas Arana, and the title sequence itself was exquisite. Having no knowledge of the picture, I just went along for the ride, and I was not disappointed.
Lonely Place plays out like some old 1940's potboiler, with a menacing farmhand worming his way between a husband and wife on an old dusty peach farm. By about halfway through the picture, I had figured out how it was going to end, only I was wrong, dead wrong.
This is the kind of movie they don't make any more, it's like an old film that was just dug up in some archive somewhere. My brother and I loved it.
I'm Tex Nickle and that's all I really have to say about Lonely Place.
Kill Bill: Vol. 2 (2004)
Watched 'em Back to Back
Due to some problems that I won't go into here, I missed the theatrical release of Vol. 1. So I got the idea to just sit and wait. Why not let Vol. 2 finish it's run too, then when I can have them both on DVD, run them back to back in my home theater.
And I have to say, once I finally did it, it was fun, and well worth the wait. From the moment those crazy 1970's lobby cards came up at the start of Vol. 1, to the cool animation, thru that awesome homage flashback bit with the white haired master, and on to the final unbelievable finish, it was a riot.
Not great cinema, but a lot of fun, a great night of entertainment.
If you have a sense of humor, and know anything about the cinema of the 1970's, I think you will really enjoy this film. And so what that it's volumes 1 and 2, it's one movie, without question.
I'm Tex Nickle and that's all I have to say about Kill Bill.