Alwehr Reviews

Showdown (I) (1993)

Draw the line

[7/10 · 6 June 2007]

I have to agree with most of the comments in here.

This movie IS cheesy, bad, cliché and VERY Karate Kid'ish.

That being said, i've had this film on my shelves since 1996 and might have watched it more than 10 times. So it must contain SOMETHING watchable, to the point of good, in it.

Well, i guess every critics has got something different out of it. And that's a quality right there. even though it's a rather bad movie, it still may manage to reach something inside of you.

For being a big Billy Blanks fan and a HUGE martial arts fan, there was disappointingly less fights and even less good choreography. But still i've been seeing it again and again. Why? To be totally blunt. The story is entertaining from beginning to end and the most characters are actually likable. And the characters who aren't are actually quite good (Especially Ken McLeod as the asshole boyfriend Tom is terrific).

But the thing about'"Showdown" that i'm most fond of, is the soundtrack/training song "Draw the line". I just can't get tired of that song and it's been driving me insane that it's impossible to find either the band that has performed it or the soundtrack anywhere!!! :o(

Can anyone help?

Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2004)

Terminator goes zombie

[3/10 · 30 September 2004]

I didn't care much for either RE movies. Its like the directors only are inspired by the action part of the game and not the brilliantly creepy atmosphere that I loved so much. Where is the part where our heroes walks alone in a giant scary mansion trying to survive all kinds of horrors, like they do in the first 3 games? NOWHERE!!! Its like the style of both movies are inspired by the fourth and least creepy game, "Codename Veronica" , with the exception of the Terminator like mutant zombie in RE:Apocalypse, that obviously is taken from the third game "Nemesis", and with success. It looks much like the mutant in the game and he also acts the same way.

But what i find really annoying, especially with RE:Apocalypse, is the marvel comic action that the movies are packed with. I didn't get the feeling, while playing the games, that the heroes were SUPER heroes, but i certainly do that when I'm watching the movies. It takes out all the suspense and horror (which leave only action) when Jovovich fires a one-liner, while hanging in the air kicking 5 zombies to "death" at the same time. And the worst part is, that ALL heroes in RE:Apocalypse are like that. Its just as scary to look at as watching "X-men". Jovovichs arrival in the church says all that i feel about especially this sequel. Laughable and ridiculous.

Now i can only look forward to the cinema versions of "Silent Hill" and "Fatal Frame" and hope that they wont be ruined as much as Resident Evil was.

I'm sure that when the second sequel to Resident Evil comes up i wouldn't be surprised if Jovovich learns how to fly... Yikes!

I gave it 3 out of 10

Sexy Beast (2000)

Thank God that I don't know a "bloke" like Don Logan.

[8/10 · 12 September 2004]

I was totally surprised in a very, very positive way with Sexy Beast. Mostly because of the dialogue and the strong performances by all the actors. Ray Winstone is perfect in the leading role as an easy living x-gangster named Gary, who gets caught up by his past(I just love the intro by the pool). But Ben Kingsley overshadows all others as Don Logan, the ill tempered, unpleasant and (at least I thought) laughable loony henshman for the English mafia, who comes to get Gary back in action. I had only seen him in likable roles like the one in Schindlers List, and i was amazed that he was capable of playing such a different character like Don Logan. outstanding! The story in Sexy Beast is not fantastic in any way, but you have no idea what will happen and how it will end, and i find that pretty cool. But its clear that the movie is being held up by the great dialogue and characters all the way through. No question about it.

I gave it 8 out of 10

Tomie: Re-birth (2001)

Tsk, tsk, tsk... Bow your head in shame Shimizu.

[5/10 · 7 September 2004]

After seeing the first Tomie movie i lost all interest in seeing what the sequels in the serial would bring. For a horror movie, there wasn't a single chill or climax in it, which can only leave a horror fan like me very disappointed. But then i saw that Tomie: Re-birth was directed by no other than Takashi Shimizu (The man behind the four Ju-on movies), and i thought, and (i guess) expected, that he would add a lot of his creepy imagination from his former horror movies (i cant praise them enough) to this sleeping pill of a weird love story. I was, again, VERY disappointed. Though, i have 2 good things to say about this movie. First of all, this one IS better than the first. Second, there actually was one scene in Re-birth that made my hair on the neck to stand up, and that is where a girl is sitting in her bedroom in front of a mirror and suddenly sees a girl, white as snow, peeking out of her closet. Uuhhhhhh Mufasa!! It smelled a little like Ju-on, but then the girl turns away from the mirror and the ghostly lurker is gone. BUUUUUUH!! But besides this minor chill that lasts about 3 seconds, its really hard to see that this is a Shimizu creation. Instead of taking Tomie to a new level and making it to a real creep fest, it seems more like he just goes along with the dull and not THAT fascinating theme from the other Tomie movies. And on top of that, i saw interviews with the cast and the director himself describing this movie as a blend of horror and humor? Now, without sounding like a dumb racist, but do you have to be Japanese to notice the humor? It went over my head thats for sure. But maybe some of the moments that i found laughable and not creepy, like the crawling head, wasn't meant to be scary but fun? I guess i never find out and its not important anyway. I mean, Tomie IS a horror movie right? At least, thats what it says on the movie description. But how on earth is it possible to make a horror movie where the so called "monster" dies all the time, killed by all its "victims", and not the other way around? So far Tomie hasn't convinced me that it can be done...

Please Shimizu, stick to the creepy stuff. Thats what you do best.

I gave it 5 out of 10

28 Days Later (2002)

Beware of the insane joggers.

[5/10 · 6 September 2004]

HALLOOOOOOO!!!

• Thats about the only line for the first 15 minutes, just repeated again and again while our hero (Jim) desperately wanders the empty streets of London looking for signs of life. But without any luck. Though, at a point where Jim is walking down a long road, yelling as a hooligan, you suddenly see a person in the distance walking towards him and the camera. Then cut. And in the next scene you see Jim walking down another road, still yelling "HALOOOOO!!" and still totally alone. Now, what happened to the dude at the other end of the road? Who is Jim really looking for? Wasn't he good enough for Jim to team up with? OR was it that the dude shouldn't have been there at all in the first place? I think the last is the most obvious, and i find that totally hilarious. But i think the funniest part, in this deadly serious movie, is where our heroes (yes Jim manage to see other people) has stopped in a tunnel, and one of them says something like "Hey, can you hear something?", and then you see about 2 dozen "zombies" in all ages come sprinting down the dark tunnel. I'm telling you, i was so close to laugh my guts out in the cinema while thinking " oh ooh, here comes the insane joggers". Coz what i find so damn funny is, that from Jims first encounter with the infected lunatic people, they don't ever stop running their butts off. Whats the hurry??

But besides the minor blooper at the beginning of the movie, the first 20-30 minutes of this Zombie-like horror flick is far the best. I found the rest of the movie, though driving many miles, to go nowhere. Its sad, because it starts with some good promises where you think "this could get really scary". But no! After the first half the movie falls flat to the ground and just repeats itself, like the dialogue in the beginning.....

I gave it 5 out of 10

Bloodsport (1988)

Less talking, more fighting.

[10/10 · 6 September 2004]

The best martial art movie ever.

When it comes to martial art choreography and filming, no other martial art movie can reach this one, unless you are into Jackie Chan or Hong Kong (Jet Lee) karate movies. Now, when it comes to plot, then its a whole different talk. But seriously, who cares about plots when you're watching a martial art movie? Its the fight scenes that counts and this movie is packed with them. Everything else is less important bonuses. And the blend of different fighting styles in bloodsport are awesome. It has got all from dancing monkey style to no budging sumo style. Luckily for us our hero Frank Dux (The muscle from Bruxelles) is an allround fighter and Van Damme does the ass kicking more stylish than any other martial art actor i have ever seen including himself in his later movies. It is simply a joy to watch the fighting sequences because of the fantastic choreography and especially because its filmed in many angles and in a slow enough pace for the viewer to notice all the great details in the fights. And trust me, there's a lot.

If you, like me, are a big fan of American martial art movies like "kickboxer" and therefore don't care about a very, very simple plot. Then this is the movie for you. ;O)

I give Bloodsport a 10 simply because its the best of the best in its genre.

I gave it 10 out of 10.

Ju-on: The Curse (2000 Video)

Maybe the most frightening movie I've ever seen.

[9/10 · 5 September 2004]

First i was disappointed to see that it was a TV movie i had bought, but after 10 minutes of watching it i didn't give it much of a thought. This movie is simply just entertaining from beginning to end. There is no limit to the imagination of creepiness in this movie, all thanks to my new favorite horror director Takashi Shimizu. The fact, that its like Shimizu has thought " I would like to make a movie that scares the s*** out of everyone and then to hell with everything else" really makes me raise my thumbs up and bow in the dust for the man. This Flick is on my top 3 list of the scariest movies ever, together with "The shining" and "Salems lot". If i had seen this one when i was 13 i would have been horrified for stairs years to come (just like i was horrified for windows without curtains for about 5 years, after seeing "Salems lot"), thats for sure.

Note: You don't have to use blood for a movie to be scary. The Japanese have realized that, why cant the Americans???

The reason that i didn't give this movie 10 out of 10 is because i find it hard to keep track of all the names (maybe because I'm not Japanese?)and i miss some answers in this riddle of a ghost story. And yes, i HAVE seen the other 3 in the series. And no, you Don't get much more insight, just more confused. They are still some excellent horror movies though, especially Ju-on: The grudge 2. But the first one is still the most scary.

I gave it 9 out of 10. Enjoy! ;o)

Ps. If anyone knows movies as scary as the above mentioned, please write me the titles so i can continue my search for the scariest horror movie ever.

Ringu (1998)

Effective ending.

[6/10 · 5 September 2004]

Ringu summary:

Start - pretty exciting........ Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz WAUW, scary stuff - the end.

The reason why i actually give ringu 6, even though its unbelievably boring all the way through until the end, is because I'm a sucker for scary movies and the ending in Ringu is as scary as it can get. Good imagination.

Now, i know its trendy and cool to build up a movie in a slow pace until the climax in the end, but does it have to be done so boring? If the ending had been the intro and the rest of the movie was driven by the same imaginative scare, then this would have been my absolute favorite horror movie. Instead i find myself struggling to keep concentration and focus on the TV screen and avoid to close my eyes and zzzzzzz....

I gave it 6 out of 10

Phenomena (1985)

I liked.... Iron Maiden..

[4/10 · 5 September 2004]

I gotta admit that i really truly hate Dario Argentos movies. This one is (almost) no exception. He loves to have a madman running around killing women with just about no reason whatsoever. I hate that kind of films. When i bought this one i didn't know it was a DA creation and thought it was a completely different kind of horror movie that it turned out to be. Seeing the trailer some months ago, i thought it was a really creepy horror flick with a lot of disgusting insects. O boy was i wrong.

The beginning is just plain hilarious, with the girl running around screaming in an artificial kind of way. In fact, the key word in this movie is "ARTIFICIAL". Not even Jennifers good acting can make up for the stupid dialogues and bad acting from anyone else (Well.. the chimp does a nice job). That being said, i find this movie to be Argentos best. especially because of the add of animals/insects and the fact that its not JUST a psycho-running-around-with-a-knife kinda movie. But the highlight for me, was the Iron Maiden "Flash of the blade" soundtrack, that (I sadly must admit) didn't fit in anywhere in this kind of movie. I guess it just says how bad and uninteresting this movie really is? You're supposed to bite your finger nails in excitement for Jennifer to solve the mystery and survive, but I'm telling you... You end up rooting for the chimp. ;o)

By the way, who is the guy reflected in the window as one of the victims is crashing into it?.....

I gave it 4 out of 10.