Loved it, from the epic opening sequence to the epic final battle to the surprisingly poignant overall message, this is a very well written film adaptation, and marvelously acted by Ezra Miller. I could tell which Barry is which the whole movie, even without the hair...his performance is exceptional. There are some surprises throughout, and there is a surprising amount of humor too. The CGI of the speedforce time bubble rolling outwards and likewise that of the multi-verse totally worked for me as interdimensional perspective. It is loads of fun, and pending the release of Aquaman 2, I'm really pleased to see the DCEU wrap up on such a high note.
Reviews
17 Reviews
The Batman
(2022)
In a word, truthfully, "overrated"
3 April 2023
Really well made, artsy, some legitimately great scenes, and Pattinson was better in the role than I could have possibly imagined, but nevertheless I found myself becoming bored at multiple times throughout. It felt long. It is a movie that I don't necessarily want to watch ever again. I certainly wouldn't buy it...and to a cinephile that is a pretty big denunciation. It had what it needed to capture a positive critical consensus, and with it's legitimately good qualities plus the popularity of the namesake character it achieved moderate financial success, but none of that changes the fact that the movie itself is kind of slow and forgettable. In a word, truthfully, "overrated".
Willow
(2022–2023)
Rebooted franchises are for a fanbase that already exists
20 March 2023
Rebooted franchises are for a fanbase that already exists...or at least anyone with a functioning brain understands that they ought to be. There is nothing wrong with making entertainment for teenage girls. Lucasfilm could have created a show called "Kit: Warrior Princess with Everything to Prove" or "Dove: The Journey from Extraordinary Baker to Extraordinary Sorceress" and basically told the exact same story with a forest sorcerer named "Bandalf" and they could have produced this same series for their TikTok target audience without bastardizing the Willow brand. Why is Willow a tertiary character in his own series? I wanted so badly to like it, I watched it wall the way through. It's beautiful to look at, if that is what is important to you, but incongruent storytelling, "cool" modern vernacular, and strained humor (among a wide variety of other flaws) ultimately left me woefully disappointed. Also, the music?!? It's more of the same from Lucasfilm "let's diminish the characters fans love to introduce new 'better' ones". Make a Willow reboot for fans of Willow and make angsty adolescent entertainment for adolescents. This series is exceptional in the least important ways and lacking in the most important. I'll refrain from typing out a possibly spoilery specific essay, but I'm regrettably forced to vote no.
Moon Knight
(2022)
Right from the start I was hooked!
8 May 2022
I loved it. I didn't know anything about the character going in, and especially those first two episodes I was mind-blown! The finale lived up to the introduction. Brilliant attention to detail, tactful foreshadowing, a unique and thrilling contribution to the MCU!
A dark heavy incongruent storytelling cul-de-sac that lasted over two hours and ultimately didn't add much of anything to the MCU
8 May 2022
No real spoilers, but I think going in with low expectations and understanding that Wanda has gone FULL VILLAIN will help you to enjoy the experience more. The Wanda you love from the Avengers, from WandaVision, flush her down the toilet she's gone psycho, and the "reason" they gave is unsatisfactory to me. You won't leave feeling uplifted, and I want that from a superhero movie personally, but it was epic, so if explosive visuals are why you're there you'll likely enjoy yourself, but just a heads up, Wanda is awful now, which I find jarring and depressing. Without being too specific, I think the movie was a missed opportunity in multiple ways, but it's a big epic feast for the eyes, not very kid friendly BTW, but I personally was on the edge of my seat in awe at everything happening, so you decide if/how/when to watch it, but I do not recommend with kids (darkest MCU chapter thus far for sure), and even though it was downright awesome at times, I'd probably rank it last among the MCU movies for me. I think lower expectations will make people enjoy it more. It's kind of amazing, but personally my least favorite. I guess the foremost problem I have is that they spent 5+ years building a character and disregarded her completely. I just feel like if they wanted to make the Scarlett Switch to villain, they could have done it in a way similar to WandaVision, where she is sort of selfish and abusive about getting what she wants in certain circumstances over certain issues with certain people, rendering her a complicated and interesting relatable character, without being a one-dimensional unrecognizable indiscriminately murderous PSYCHO. They did her such a disservice, it's like Raimi & Co. Didn't even watch WandaVision. Couldn't she just ask America to take her to a different dimension??? That's what the Wanda would have done that they previously introduced. I just don't vibe with the core premise and what they did to Wanda and how they "resolved" it in the end... terribly weak ending IMHO. Another curiously uncoordinated Phase 4 entry, and with one singular exciting end-credit-sequence, it did basically nothing to introduce a new overarching story, yet again, a surprising failure at universe building from the people who we all previously considered the infallible masterminds of that. Don't get me wrong, it is an amazing movie in a lot of ways, but simultaneously it nevertheless is a dark heavy incongruent storytelling cul-de-sac that lasted over two hours and ultimately didn't add much of anything to the MCU. If you go into the story with those low expectations you'll probably enjoy yourself.
Under the Skin
(I) (2013)
The #1 worst movie I have ever seen.
31 January 2016
Wow. The #1 worst movie I have ever seen (and that is really saying something considering how rage inducingly awful #2 is). It is hard to find words that I feel adequately express the contempt I have for this film. "Under the Skin" is twisted, boring, perverse, morbid, and unfinished. I kept suffering through it waiting for this to go somewhere interesting or meaningful, but no, it was just a grievous, weird, waste of potential. Let's be clear that there was potential here, and more importantly that it was unrealized. Fail. There is also an unnecessary cruelty about it, a deliberate effort to break boundaries in poor taste which deserves adamant denunciation. If a filmmaker is going to drag us through all those vile qualities I listed he or she is obliged to at least finish the story with something that makes us see some sort of value in having endured them. Not the case here. Fail. If you as a viewer make the mistake of starting this, please know that you will not find satisfaction in finishing it. Stop while you are ahead. There is no point, no resolution, no explanations, just a gross misuse of minute after minute (108 in total) of otherwise valuable time. Spare yourself the agony and DO - NOT - WATCH - IT. The #1 worst movie I have ever seen...ever.
Dances with Wolves
(1990)
It may drive home the meaning of being human more than any other film I've ever seen
19 February 2013
The best Western I've ever seen. One of its greatest strengths is its even handed portrayal of both sides of what was a gruesome bigotry ridden fight for land, opportunity, and way of life, between two very different cultures in the late 1800's. The Civil Wars' leftovers were a maliciously violent and frighteningly ignorant bunch, pit them against a culture of genuinely primitive & savage people (scalping & yelping pridefully about it – wow) and you have a perfect breeding ground for intolerance, impetuous violence, and never ending retaliatory fighting. "Dances with Wolves" provides a context for understanding both sides' humanity (for better and for worse) concerning this scar on our nation's history. Said understanding is permitted through an engaging story told on a stunning backdrop of our disappearing plains and enriched with beautifully moving music. In 2007, "Dances with Wolves" was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant." It may drive home the meaning of being human more than any other film I've ever seen. It won 7 Academy Awards, including Best Picture 1990; I'm not at all surprised and support the Library of Congress' decision.
Apocalypse Now
(1979)
Mindless cowardly conformity to a subgroup is still conformity
19 February 2013
Warning: Spoilers
Wow. I just don't even know where to begin. Have you ever had one of those dreams where you are attacked by a grizzly bear while on an African safari so you swim to the surface and turn into a pterodactyl in order to fly away to safety? Yeah, Apocalypse Now is a little bit like that. It starts off as a Vietnam War movie, and looks great all the way to the end, but the story – the story – it is insane! The film would have been more aptly titled, "Captain Benjamin Willard's Expedition to the Temple of Nonsense".
The further up the river they get, the more drugged out the movie starts to feel, which at first I thought was going to be a reference to post-traumatic stress nope, just good old fashion lunacy. It starts with the impossible behavior of Lt. Col. Kilgore, but I just wrote that off as a strange & misplaced attempt at humor, but then we get to the bridge battle and the movie begins to become mind-numbingly odd. I can't even describe how this movie descends swirling around the toilet bowl of absurdity before it flushes down to the sewer of utter madness. My head began to hurt the last half an hour; it was so supremely bizarre. It is hard to imagine how it gradually changes gears from a normal enough war movie to a drugged out nonsensical waste of time in the jungle! I'm not being facetious, I am serious, literally, my head actually hurts from my exercise in futility in trying to weave together this mess of loose ends.
Film critics can be such sheep. Sure you can be black sheep if you want, but you are every bit as much cowardly conformists as your more numerous mainstream counterparts; mindless cowardly conformity to a subgroup is still conformity. To argue this film a masterpiece requires a desperate search for figurative meaning, a smothering of common sense, and is a sad attempt at acceptance into a group of pseudo-intellectuals. This films reputation is because of who made it, when he made it, and groupthink period. Colonel Kurtz was not some great free thinker (there have been many about whom films have been and could be made), nor was anyone in his outrageously improbable personality cult. How did he persuade this brutally savage & primitive people to exalt him by the way? How did he even communicate with them? I suppose he learned their language right.
This is not a matter of taste. This movie is simply terrible, the story is crazily incongruent, and anyone with eyes to see and a mind to think will agree. The film itself is very well made, but that is not even close to enough to make the movie as a whole worthwhile. If you want a film about humanity's imperfections, if you want a film about the horrors, consequences, or idiocy of war, if you want a film about thinking for yourself and doing your own thing, if you want a film about political hypocrisy – whatever you want, please, just do yourself a favor and watch another movie. In fact, Apocalypse Now is so long you can watch two.
The further up the river they get, the more drugged out the movie starts to feel, which at first I thought was going to be a reference to post-traumatic stress nope, just good old fashion lunacy. It starts with the impossible behavior of Lt. Col. Kilgore, but I just wrote that off as a strange & misplaced attempt at humor, but then we get to the bridge battle and the movie begins to become mind-numbingly odd. I can't even describe how this movie descends swirling around the toilet bowl of absurdity before it flushes down to the sewer of utter madness. My head began to hurt the last half an hour; it was so supremely bizarre. It is hard to imagine how it gradually changes gears from a normal enough war movie to a drugged out nonsensical waste of time in the jungle! I'm not being facetious, I am serious, literally, my head actually hurts from my exercise in futility in trying to weave together this mess of loose ends.
Film critics can be such sheep. Sure you can be black sheep if you want, but you are every bit as much cowardly conformists as your more numerous mainstream counterparts; mindless cowardly conformity to a subgroup is still conformity. To argue this film a masterpiece requires a desperate search for figurative meaning, a smothering of common sense, and is a sad attempt at acceptance into a group of pseudo-intellectuals. This films reputation is because of who made it, when he made it, and groupthink period. Colonel Kurtz was not some great free thinker (there have been many about whom films have been and could be made), nor was anyone in his outrageously improbable personality cult. How did he persuade this brutally savage & primitive people to exalt him by the way? How did he even communicate with them? I suppose he learned their language right.
This is not a matter of taste. This movie is simply terrible, the story is crazily incongruent, and anyone with eyes to see and a mind to think will agree. The film itself is very well made, but that is not even close to enough to make the movie as a whole worthwhile. If you want a film about humanity's imperfections, if you want a film about the horrors, consequences, or idiocy of war, if you want a film about thinking for yourself and doing your own thing, if you want a film about political hypocrisy – whatever you want, please, just do yourself a favor and watch another movie. In fact, Apocalypse Now is so long you can watch two.
A Very Long Engagement
(2004)
A very complicated, but excellent story!
10 February 2013
This is precisely the kind of situation that makes me want to write movie reviews. A strong word of advice to whomever may read this prior to watching "A Very Long Engagement," ridiculous as this may seem, take notes when you watch this movie
espeeeeecially during the first 15 minutes. I am not exaggerating when I say that there are about 20 different characters whose stories are all intertwined, and if you are to connect the dots you need to remember which names are associated with which characters, and unless you have had a great deal of exposure to French names then most of the names will feel foreign to you which will only exacerbate your inability to keep track of who is whom. Furthermore, almost all the men have facial hair and military uniforms, so that makes it even hard to remember which one is which.
I know, it sounds extreme, but watch it with enough light in the room to take notes, jot down what names are associated with which professions, who had the German boots, whose girlfriend is whose, etc. If I were to criticize this movie I would criticize it for having an excessively complex plot (note that I am not). I am just promising you that you will indubitably enjoy this movie more if you keep up with the story and its intricate spider-web of characters, professions, relationships, assassinations, etcetera, aaaaaaand you are certainly going to follow better (at least enough to not get lost half way through) if you take notes. I finally stopped and started over after an hour because I just couldn't keep track of to which characters they were referring every few minutes. If you heed my council and take notes, one hour into it you will be studying them to make sure you are understanding, and you will thank me and never doubt my advice again. I loved this movie.
I know, it sounds extreme, but watch it with enough light in the room to take notes, jot down what names are associated with which professions, who had the German boots, whose girlfriend is whose, etc. If I were to criticize this movie I would criticize it for having an excessively complex plot (note that I am not). I am just promising you that you will indubitably enjoy this movie more if you keep up with the story and its intricate spider-web of characters, professions, relationships, assassinations, etcetera, aaaaaaand you are certainly going to follow better (at least enough to not get lost half way through) if you take notes. I finally stopped and started over after an hour because I just couldn't keep track of to which characters they were referring every few minutes. If you heed my council and take notes, one hour into it you will be studying them to make sure you are understanding, and you will thank me and never doubt my advice again. I loved this movie.
Before Sunset
(2004)
In one word: trite.
2 February 2013
This film lacked all the charm of the first. In Before Sunrise we have this intriguing & alluring physical attraction and intellectual interest between two characters that "destiny" has united on a train. We follow them through an exhilaratingly spontaneous evening as their youthfully curious sensual dynamism develops. Their dialogue is interesting and sincere, and their attraction is sweet and sort of nostalgia-evoking.
In the second this is all replaced with dialogue that feels contrived and scripted, and which reeks of pseudo-intellectualism. Let's just set aside the fact that the endearing young love of the first is replaced with a pent up lust in the second, so that we can focus on the fact that Hawke's character is married during this little escapade, which renders the whole attraction categorically repugnant. Maybe things won't to work out in his marriage anyway, but people with integrity honor their marriage until it is over. Are we suppose to identify with and/or sympathize with this character?!? Get a divorce and fool around, or exercise the most minimal amount of self-respect & dignity and follow through with your own commitment.
Moving the promenade to the streets of Paris felt predictable and petty to me, it didn't save the movie, and finally, the film itself felt low-budget. I don't recommend Before Sunset to anyone who isn't middle-aged, divorced, and looking for consolation in a story of unscrupulous mediocrity. I do say that reluctantly, and apologize for its harshness, but that is the brutal truth. It's a middle aged, unaccountably cynical, and trite remake of the first, but 10 years later in Paris.
In the second this is all replaced with dialogue that feels contrived and scripted, and which reeks of pseudo-intellectualism. Let's just set aside the fact that the endearing young love of the first is replaced with a pent up lust in the second, so that we can focus on the fact that Hawke's character is married during this little escapade, which renders the whole attraction categorically repugnant. Maybe things won't to work out in his marriage anyway, but people with integrity honor their marriage until it is over. Are we suppose to identify with and/or sympathize with this character?!? Get a divorce and fool around, or exercise the most minimal amount of self-respect & dignity and follow through with your own commitment.
Moving the promenade to the streets of Paris felt predictable and petty to me, it didn't save the movie, and finally, the film itself felt low-budget. I don't recommend Before Sunset to anyone who isn't middle-aged, divorced, and looking for consolation in a story of unscrupulous mediocrity. I do say that reluctantly, and apologize for its harshness, but that is the brutal truth. It's a middle aged, unaccountably cynical, and trite remake of the first, but 10 years later in Paris.
Finding Neverland
(2004)
Where, or what, is Neverland exactly?
2 February 2013
A heart-warming and charming film about the story behind the inspiration for Peter Pan, and on the value of tenaciously being true to yourself, enjoying the authentic relationships that that renders, and making this life worth living for the brief time that we have it. I think it tactfully teaches that marriage is to be taken seriously before one enters into the contract, and I think that that is an important message for our modern world. While the movie is child appropriate it isn't especially child friendly, unless they are precocious I think that they may very well bore of it; the movie is really more for adults. If the kids are interested however they are certainly welcome. I have no complaints about this film. Dramas aren't my first preference when it comes to entertainment, but if you like dramas I have to imagine you will love Finding Neverland. Clean nostalgia evoking thought provoking heartfelt fun.
Total Recall
(I) (2012)
If you want to review the original, review the original.
2 February 2013
Why the film critics decided to band together on hating this movie has left me utterly baffled. Complaining that it is a sequel we didn't need is not a criticism
it's just whining. If you are going to attack a film I would appreciate a thoughtful argument defending your denouncement. While I haven't seen the first one, I don't care what strengths it may have possessed, there is no way that it invalidated the intensity of this remake. Total Recall was an excellent & engaging ride through a decayed but recognizable futuristic world where what you see may or may not be what you get! It is an admirably creative story including unique gadgets, captivating plot twists, awesome fight scenes, and excellent visual effects! This film was everything I think it should have been! I don't care what everyone else says, I loved it.
The Manxman
(1929)
Forgettable, but not bad
2 February 2013
For a silent film, it is pretty good. If a drama can make you consider moving to the edge of your seat, it must have a somewhat compelling story. This film is definitely imperfect; one of the main characters is just dense, to the extent that you can't help but roll your eyes at times. Nevertheless, I found myself on multiple occasions becoming genuinely engaged, interested in the fate of the characters, and even impatiently anticipating the outcome of different events throughout the story. Not a movie I am looking forward to watching again (there wasn't anything to make it really exceptional or unforgettable), but it wasn't bad either, especially considering how old it is.
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
(1954)
A Cinematic Wonder of 1954
1 February 2013
I think this film is best appreciated when watched empowered with an education of film history, taking into consideration the technological challenges which were overcome to make it all happen successfully, appreciating the risks it entailed for the Disney Studios, and imagining how it felt for audiences who experienced it for the first time as what was truly an unprecedented under-water cinematic feat. It was the most expensive film ever made up to that time, and if you look closely you can tell that no expense was spared. Nevertheless, in our modern era of Hollywood indulgence and computer generated graphics, 20,000 Leagues under the Sea inevitably ends up feeling slightly dated & hokey at times. The movie boasts many timeless strengths though, among them being interesting characters, excellent performances, and some great intellectual dialogue/debate.
City by the Sea
(2002)
Toast for dinner
1 February 2013
Imagine eating five or six pieces of toast as a meal, wouldn't you be left feeling like, "Is this it?!?" It isn't that there is anything wrong with toast, but piece after piece it wouldn't make for much of a meal in it of itself. In the same way, City by the Sea just didn't leave me satisfied. It wasn't that there was anything blaringly wrong with it, but it never presented any interesting flavors to savor; it just bored me. Things picked up later in the movie, and I did like the poignancy of the ending, but I just didn't think it was worth the wait to get there. The trailer makes it look like an edge of your seat thriller – it is not.
Snatch
(2000)
Funny, but not funny enough to illegitimize its violence.
28 January 2013
An atrocious comedic drama which glamorizes criminal activity, violence, and almost mind-numbingly pervasive profanity
I had a hard time finishing it. Rest assured that your potential for gaining new insight or finding life-enriching meaning of any kind is slim to none; you definitely will not be uplifted. Even just measuring it in terms of simple entertainment value, its wit & humor don't come close to compensating for its violence. The kinds of flashy bloodshed and theatrical cruelty which are found in films like Snatch desensitize fragile minds and corrode morals in a way that, yes, does in fact facilitate real-world violence.
Brief example: the film's analysis of the efficiencies of pig farms for human corpse disposal - some people inevitably walked away reflecting on the strengths & weaknesses of different corpse disposal methods a topic in which they would not have otherwise invested mental energy. I just wish we could have more honest conversations with ourselves and each other about the impact the media to which we expose ourselves has on us individually, and on those among us who are most malleable. Not to be preachy, but that there is any real market for this movie ought to be unsettling to those of us who value human life; this film almost entirely implies that it is worthless. Watch something else there is plenty of better out there to be seen.
Brief example: the film's analysis of the efficiencies of pig farms for human corpse disposal - some people inevitably walked away reflecting on the strengths & weaknesses of different corpse disposal methods a topic in which they would not have otherwise invested mental energy. I just wish we could have more honest conversations with ourselves and each other about the impact the media to which we expose ourselves has on us individually, and on those among us who are most malleable. Not to be preachy, but that there is any real market for this movie ought to be unsettling to those of us who value human life; this film almost entirely implies that it is worthless. Watch something else there is plenty of better out there to be seen.
John Carter
(2012)
Se-quel, se-quel, se-quel...
13 January 2013
John Carter is an unjustly dismissed sci-fi masterpiece...grossly unjustified. What was wrong with it? Specifically, what was wrong? Pacing? It was intense!!! Coming from someone who uses this word sparingly, this movie was "EPIC". I am almost certain that time will enable objectivity, and objectivity will redeem it from the stinging taint slapped on it due to a predictably simplistic aversion to what is "mainstream" by film critics. If a studio other than Disney could have created the same film with half the budget it would have been heralded as a cinematic achievement within the sci-fi genre, but its budget was viewed as ostentatious and its production studio as childish, so it became "cool" to hate on it before anyone had even seen it.
Who makes something and how much they pay to have it made has nothing to due with the quality of what is actually produced, it may be indicative of quality or lack thereof, but the final product speaks for itself. Reviews of John Carter tell us more about film critics than the critics told us about the film. It was practically perfect. "Incomprehensible plotting"??? They laid the groundwork for the presumed sequels by deliberately leaving a few questions unanswered, which I hope they still make and answer because I loved this first one! Mars was epic, and then in the end we are reminded that the story began on Earth and the film ends stronger than I could have hoped for! An excellent story masterfully told on screen.
Who makes something and how much they pay to have it made has nothing to due with the quality of what is actually produced, it may be indicative of quality or lack thereof, but the final product speaks for itself. Reviews of John Carter tell us more about film critics than the critics told us about the film. It was practically perfect. "Incomprehensible plotting"??? They laid the groundwork for the presumed sequels by deliberately leaving a few questions unanswered, which I hope they still make and answer because I loved this first one! Mars was epic, and then in the end we are reminded that the story began on Earth and the film ends stronger than I could have hoped for! An excellent story masterfully told on screen.
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