I payed one dollar for this movie so I knew it was going to suck. Frank, who wears a pirate shirt and looks similar to the 80's pop singer Rick Springfield has been locked up in jail for five years and now he's out looking for the guys that set him up. This movie has a sort of circular plot where after watching the movie for an hour, Frank is still in the same situation dealing with the same goons, an old guy and two fatties in mullets and trying to get this girl out of captivity, again. The situations are pretty silly especially as Frank seems to get his gun taken from him repeatedly. In the end they push an old car off a cliff and then some stupid lines and then its over. I don't think I have ever seen an action movie as lame as this one.
Reviews
14 Reviews
Little Nicky
(2000)
An ignorant, and childish movie.
29 December 2004
Most comedy movies made for kids are almost always bad, but typically in those movies, the actors are kids. In this movie the adults are all over thirty and act like twelve year olds. I can't recall when I've seen a comedy movie as lame as this one.
The beginning of the movie was okay but soon after the signs of a sucky movie begin to emerge. After about fifteen minutes of this garbage I knew I had been deceived and suffered thru the rest of the toilet humor, recycled jokes and repeating themes, and gritted my teeth until it was over.
There was only one mildy funny scene in the which the devil takes over the earth and addresses the morally corrupted crowd and tells them that he present them with Henry Winkler. Henry Winkler walks on stage and says good evening and then the devil says: "covered in bee's". A swarm of bee's attack's Winkler and the whole scene was just a few seconds and I did chuckle at that.
Later in the movie the writers had him swarmed a second time, just in case you didn't laugh the first time. I though he had died. This in fact appears to be the writing strategy through out the entire movie, that is, find something that is amusing and then repeat it again and again.
I gave this movie the lowest possible rating: 1/10
The beginning of the movie was okay but soon after the signs of a sucky movie begin to emerge. After about fifteen minutes of this garbage I knew I had been deceived and suffered thru the rest of the toilet humor, recycled jokes and repeating themes, and gritted my teeth until it was over.
There was only one mildy funny scene in the which the devil takes over the earth and addresses the morally corrupted crowd and tells them that he present them with Henry Winkler. Henry Winkler walks on stage and says good evening and then the devil says: "covered in bee's". A swarm of bee's attack's Winkler and the whole scene was just a few seconds and I did chuckle at that.
Later in the movie the writers had him swarmed a second time, just in case you didn't laugh the first time. I though he had died. This in fact appears to be the writing strategy through out the entire movie, that is, find something that is amusing and then repeat it again and again.
I gave this movie the lowest possible rating: 1/10
The People vs. Larry Flynt
(1996)
A Patriotic Movie
29 December 2004
Warning: Spoilers
The rise of Larry Flynt from a little moonshiner to big time smut peddler is interesting if not a fascinating story. Larry Flynt shows himself as a visionary business man who's willing to fight for his right to run his porn business in the face of some powerful opposition as he pushes the limits of what is socially acceptable.
The story goes thru the up's and down's of Larry's life as he gets charged with indecency and his business seem's to barely survive these problems. He gets the high profile nude pictures of Jacky O' and hits the jack pot, but not without trouble from moral hypocrites like Keating that seek to undermine his magazine.
His problem with Jerry 'Fartwell', a famous preacher,was pretty amusing as HUSTLER magazine decides to run a very sexually lurid, yet obviously fictitious story about him. Jerry decides to sue him for personal distress and Larry counter sues as a result of his story being re-printed and re-distributed without his copyright permission. Larry loses in court and pays him 200k, but then goes after him again in the Supreme Court.
This movie was aimed to entertain as far as I can see, and I don't know how realistic this portrayal of Larry Flynt is, but I can say that I was entertained by lots of good lines, dialog and storyline that kept me interested.
'Woody' plays a great portrayal of Larry, and Courtney also performs well, especially as she spirals into a convincing drug addict.
This movie was well made and should appeal to anyone with even a remote interest in protecting civil liberties.
8/10
The story goes thru the up's and down's of Larry's life as he gets charged with indecency and his business seem's to barely survive these problems. He gets the high profile nude pictures of Jacky O' and hits the jack pot, but not without trouble from moral hypocrites like Keating that seek to undermine his magazine.
His problem with Jerry 'Fartwell', a famous preacher,was pretty amusing as HUSTLER magazine decides to run a very sexually lurid, yet obviously fictitious story about him. Jerry decides to sue him for personal distress and Larry counter sues as a result of his story being re-printed and re-distributed without his copyright permission. Larry loses in court and pays him 200k, but then goes after him again in the Supreme Court.
This movie was aimed to entertain as far as I can see, and I don't know how realistic this portrayal of Larry Flynt is, but I can say that I was entertained by lots of good lines, dialog and storyline that kept me interested.
'Woody' plays a great portrayal of Larry, and Courtney also performs well, especially as she spirals into a convincing drug addict.
This movie was well made and should appeal to anyone with even a remote interest in protecting civil liberties.
8/10
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
(1974)
Hard call to make ( spoilers within)
19 November 2004
Warning: Spoilers
What really takes the wind out of this movie is that the killers lack a clear motive. Do they kill because they prefer human meat over cow meat?
If so, then why? Why would a Texas family that has led lives working in a cattle slaughter house develop a taste for human flesh?
What is the point of the killing?
I guess we must assume that their insane and just like killing people for no reason.
The character of Leather Face come across as a big dope, a dumb fat ass, that bonks people over the head with a mallet that enters his home as they inquire seeking some help. Then its chainsaw time.
The ending seems cumbersome, as that crazy slackjaw wants to bring ole grand dad downstairs to whack the girl a few time on her skull. Not a bad scene, yet something was missing, or something needed to be changed. I wasn't impressed. It just wasn't good enough for me. I wanted to be really scared and I just wasn't.
If so, then why? Why would a Texas family that has led lives working in a cattle slaughter house develop a taste for human flesh?
What is the point of the killing?
I guess we must assume that their insane and just like killing people for no reason.
The character of Leather Face come across as a big dope, a dumb fat ass, that bonks people over the head with a mallet that enters his home as they inquire seeking some help. Then its chainsaw time.
The ending seems cumbersome, as that crazy slackjaw wants to bring ole grand dad downstairs to whack the girl a few time on her skull. Not a bad scene, yet something was missing, or something needed to be changed. I wasn't impressed. It just wasn't good enough for me. I wanted to be really scared and I just wasn't.
Rosemary's Baby
(1968)
Great suspense
19 November 2004
I watched this older horror movie with an open mind, knowing already it was very popular in years past, a bit before my time though, yet I found the movie interesting and easy to watch, especially as Mia Farrow, thin and quite sexy, holds her own as a great actress.
She was just 22 years old in this movie and that was back in 1968. Not bad acting for a girl so young.
Anyway, the suspense builds up very slowly and by the time Mia chops off her cute hairdo for that dreadful reddish looking butch style hair cut, the story darkens as her suspicion grows about the strange neighbors next door.
Mia's dream sequences, caused by drinking the neighbors concoction seemed more like a sixties style LSD trip then anything else. That was all cool and so was the surprising nude scenes that I didn't think they did back in these kinds of 1968 movies. I hope more people watch this great suspense, its a real classic.
This movie really surprised me, in lots of ways. I gave it a good rating of 8/10.
She was just 22 years old in this movie and that was back in 1968. Not bad acting for a girl so young.
Anyway, the suspense builds up very slowly and by the time Mia chops off her cute hairdo for that dreadful reddish looking butch style hair cut, the story darkens as her suspicion grows about the strange neighbors next door.
Mia's dream sequences, caused by drinking the neighbors concoction seemed more like a sixties style LSD trip then anything else. That was all cool and so was the surprising nude scenes that I didn't think they did back in these kinds of 1968 movies. I hope more people watch this great suspense, its a real classic.
This movie really surprised me, in lots of ways. I gave it a good rating of 8/10.
The Amityville Horror
(1979)
overrated snoozer
18 November 2004
Warning: Spoilers
This is the never ending movie, two hours of boring acting and choppy scenes. Spoiler! The baby sitter getting locked in the closet was the only scary scene, well that and when they showed James Brolin in his underwear. Yuck!
This movie has lots of problems and the main one is redundancy. George is always complaining that the house is cold, yet you never see him putting on a coat, and you never see his breath. He's constantly fussing with the fire place and then chopping wood, sharpening the axe and always with the axe.
Anyone who lives in a house, and especially if you live on long Island, there's no way you can heat a house that size with a fire place anyway.
Evertime Margot Kidder goes in her kid's room, she has to close a window, constantly closing windows. I guess there's just something scary about an open window.
The messy dialogue between the catholic priests was especially time consuming and wasteful. At one point their hollering at each other like football coaches, in some vain attempt to ham it up and make their arguments more intense. Eventually the priest is yelling is head off in the church and then some gargoyle chips break off and fall on him making him go blind. Maybe he shouldn't have yelled so loud.
I found this movie really boring and was relieved when it was over.
This movie has lots of problems and the main one is redundancy. George is always complaining that the house is cold, yet you never see him putting on a coat, and you never see his breath. He's constantly fussing with the fire place and then chopping wood, sharpening the axe and always with the axe.
Anyone who lives in a house, and especially if you live on long Island, there's no way you can heat a house that size with a fire place anyway.
Evertime Margot Kidder goes in her kid's room, she has to close a window, constantly closing windows. I guess there's just something scary about an open window.
The messy dialogue between the catholic priests was especially time consuming and wasteful. At one point their hollering at each other like football coaches, in some vain attempt to ham it up and make their arguments more intense. Eventually the priest is yelling is head off in the church and then some gargoyle chips break off and fall on him making him go blind. Maybe he shouldn't have yelled so loud.
I found this movie really boring and was relieved when it was over.
Freddy Got Fingered
(2001)
What a pile of...
29 October 2004
Warning: Spoilers
I used to watch Tom Greene's show on Mtv and was entertained a lot of the time but when I saw this movie I just didn't get it. Who is he making this movie for? This is a comedian who can be funny on a TV show when he's just being himself, but clearly he's out of his league as a movie star.
His antic are just to hyped up and overacted to be enjoyed by fans of his shows which I should add weren't always that good. (Some spoilers) Masturbating animals and hitting cripples with bats with the intention of shock humor just didn't work with me. In the scene where the woman is delivering a baby and he bits off the umbilical cord off in a disgusting and bloody scene I couldn't help wonder what the hell was he thinking? This is the stupidest movie ever. What a let down.
His antic are just to hyped up and overacted to be enjoyed by fans of his shows which I should add weren't always that good. (Some spoilers) Masturbating animals and hitting cripples with bats with the intention of shock humor just didn't work with me. In the scene where the woman is delivering a baby and he bits off the umbilical cord off in a disgusting and bloody scene I couldn't help wonder what the hell was he thinking? This is the stupidest movie ever. What a let down.
Rabid
(1977)
What a bore!
29 October 2004
Like a lot of poorly made movie from the seventies this one blurs by unforgettably making it a great candidate for mystery science theatre 3000.
There's lots of material for them to work with here.
This movie was bad and not because of budget restrictions as the large cast and a few good car crashes makes me think they had money to burn compared to other b-movies made in the same era. What made this movie bad was that normal people with rabies trying to bit each other is neither funny or scary, its just stupid. The idea of is seems terrifying but the writers and actors just don't deliver.
There's lots of material for them to work with here.
This movie was bad and not because of budget restrictions as the large cast and a few good car crashes makes me think they had money to burn compared to other b-movies made in the same era. What made this movie bad was that normal people with rabies trying to bit each other is neither funny or scary, its just stupid. The idea of is seems terrifying but the writers and actors just don't deliver.
Chained Heat
(1983)
What a disappointment!!
27 October 2004
I was expecting something a lot more exciting then this. What a snoozer!! Very bad dialogue and terrible plot as this movie quickly goes in the wrong direction by dwelling too much on racial tensions between the inmates. This movie could have been better served with just the evil warden scenario.
Another problem is that this flick needed more attractive inmates, not just two or three to make up for the ten other ugly ones.
Iam not sure if they were trying to make a realistic movie about a corrupt female prison and then it went bad or what, but much of this movie never made sense.
The poorly written lines and the boring fight scenes makes this a forgettable movie. I was really looking forward to a good WiP movie and instead I felt really let down.
Another problem is that this flick needed more attractive inmates, not just two or three to make up for the ten other ugly ones.
Iam not sure if they were trying to make a realistic movie about a corrupt female prison and then it went bad or what, but much of this movie never made sense.
The poorly written lines and the boring fight scenes makes this a forgettable movie. I was really looking forward to a good WiP movie and instead I felt really let down.
Reform School Girls
(1986)
Classic 80's b-movie
25 October 2004
Warning: Spoilers
This movie is a lot of fun especially if your into WiP flicks. Of course the plot and dialogue is kind of weak and at times I wondered why am I watching this movie, but there's just something about girls wearing lingerie in prison and those big eighties hair do's.
Frequently the girls are scantily clad and then there are the showers scenes. Surprisingly Jenny, played by the sexy Linda Carol, was only sixteen years old when this movie was made but looked like she was about twenty to me.
The plots pretty basic, Jenny the star, rails against the oppressiveness of the schools authoritarians played by Sutter and Edna, the warden and henchwoman. Jenny's befriends Lisa, a pathetic cry baby who comes in the prison clutching her teddy bear, and Jenny feels she has to protect her. Spoiler!! Eventually Lisa gets her ass branded in a pretty cool scene, kind of funny too.
The movie frequently is lame such as when the warden burns Lisa's teddy bear and Lisa explains that it belonged to her brother who died locked in a fridge and when the house burned down this is all that was left. This overacting seemed totally out of place in this light movie so I don't know why the editors didn't cut this dribble out. Also Charlie played by Wendy O. Williams, androgynous punk star and former sex worker, plays a thirty seven year old teenager which didn't ride well with me. This movie could have been a whole lot better but its still pretty entertaining.
Frequently the girls are scantily clad and then there are the showers scenes. Surprisingly Jenny, played by the sexy Linda Carol, was only sixteen years old when this movie was made but looked like she was about twenty to me.
The plots pretty basic, Jenny the star, rails against the oppressiveness of the schools authoritarians played by Sutter and Edna, the warden and henchwoman. Jenny's befriends Lisa, a pathetic cry baby who comes in the prison clutching her teddy bear, and Jenny feels she has to protect her. Spoiler!! Eventually Lisa gets her ass branded in a pretty cool scene, kind of funny too.
The movie frequently is lame such as when the warden burns Lisa's teddy bear and Lisa explains that it belonged to her brother who died locked in a fridge and when the house burned down this is all that was left. This overacting seemed totally out of place in this light movie so I don't know why the editors didn't cut this dribble out. Also Charlie played by Wendy O. Williams, androgynous punk star and former sex worker, plays a thirty seven year old teenager which didn't ride well with me. This movie could have been a whole lot better but its still pretty entertaining.
Night School
(1981)
What a crappy movie!!
25 October 2004
This movie is so easy to criticize as it's plagued with every disease that a crappy movie can have...bad actors, bad scripts and no originality. When I first watched this movie I swore it was a made for TV, but I was wrong, however the whole movie sustained this style.
The evil stalker is this guy on a motorcycle that wears a black helmet with a tinted visor. This ordinairy biker helmet did not seem unusual or scary but rather bland and a sign of cheapness in the productions budget and imagination.
The acting in this movie is so bad, and the writing so poor its amazing that this was ever approved. I have seen lots of terrible movies and this is not the worse but certainly it ranks as a major loser.
The evil stalker is this guy on a motorcycle that wears a black helmet with a tinted visor. This ordinairy biker helmet did not seem unusual or scary but rather bland and a sign of cheapness in the productions budget and imagination.
The acting in this movie is so bad, and the writing so poor its amazing that this was ever approved. I have seen lots of terrible movies and this is not the worse but certainly it ranks as a major loser.
The Sicilian
(1987)
Not such a bad movie
25 October 2004
This is a very well made movie, especially as it concerns scenery and camera angles. However, the tempo of the movie is a little slow and after the initial fifteen minutes or so its seems to emphasize a lot on character development rather then unraveling a plot quickly to keep you interested. This movie gave me the impression that it was intended for a more subdued audience. Eventually it picks up here and there with some violent retribution from those that have betrayed Giuliano.
I can't emphasis enough about the scenery since that seemed to compensate for the poor dialogue a lot of the time. John Turturro was great in this movie as well as Chris Lambert. The character of Don Masino carried this movie as your classic stolid and shrewed mafia boss and Giuliano, whom Masino admires, poses a threat to his power.
I can't emphasis enough about the scenery since that seemed to compensate for the poor dialogue a lot of the time. John Turturro was great in this movie as well as Chris Lambert. The character of Don Masino carried this movie as your classic stolid and shrewed mafia boss and Giuliano, whom Masino admires, poses a threat to his power.
This Is Spinal Tap
(1984)
Absolutely hilarious
22 October 2004
The genius of this movie was how serious these second rate musicians take themselves inspite of their lackluster fanbase. It is as though they live in a total bubble unaware of how terrible they are. The onstage antics and the dialogue was hilarious and the music, surprisingly isn't all that bad. This movie was especially funny for me as I grew up when hair bands were all the rage and this movie perfectly exploits this time.
This fake rockumentary was so well done that its sometimes hard to believe they were acting. Rob Reiner was absolutely brilliant in the making of this movie. I would recommend this movie to anyone who likes music and has a sense of humor.
This fake rockumentary was so well done that its sometimes hard to believe they were acting. Rob Reiner was absolutely brilliant in the making of this movie. I would recommend this movie to anyone who likes music and has a sense of humor.
Halloween: Resurrection
(2002)
Worst Halloween movie ever.
20 September 2004
This movie was completely terrible from beginning to end. I don't know what was more irritating the terrible acting of Busta Rhymes or the mindless dialog of the other no-talents. What really p*ssed me off was that the movie was never scary, not even once. After a few minutes into the movie I could tell right away it was going to be boring and predictable and man was it ever. This is real proof that a movie can still be made without talented writers or actors. If you want to rent this movie because you enjoyed the first movie don't waste your time. This crappy movie was made for a very young audience and not for the older fans of this series. I should have never rented this movie. I made a huge mistake, oh man never mind. Iam mad at myself for watching all of it. Why? why?
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