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Close Encounters of the Fifth Kind (2020)
PICS And VIDS dEbUNKED
FIFTH KINDY - WELL THAT'S PROGRESS
After Fourth Kind, abductions, there has to be progress in what does not progress. Therefore Fifth Kind. Soon Sixth Kind will emerge: Communication, haha. There is not even one for that. I need say no more. Or maybe meeting hybrid babies.
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PICS SOLVED
LIGHT ARROWS
In a group standing at night, some people had "light coming from their head, with an arrow at the end."
If you look closely, most of that light is in the background. A bit overlaps a lady's head. To the left are orange and yellow light blurs. If you think about it, this is unintended trick photography. Look closely, you see those arrowheads are squiggles. The two main arrows match in "motion." It's what happens when you jiggle the camera a bit, and the background lights make trails that due to distance seem large, while foreground motion seems un noticeable.
KUNDALINI
A group sitting on the beach at sunset. A thick white light trail in the foreground ends where one is sitting, going with an arrow up into their head. Greer says this doctor had a kundalini experience. Above the horizon is Venus, with a short vertical trail.
The only explanation I can see is that person walked in with his phone, explaining the slight curve in trajectory, sat down, put it to his head, without leaving a body trail as it was too dark to register, while those sitting did show up. This explains how the light stops behind him where his body is. If its a digital camera, it may have kept the shutter open to capture light.
SAND ANGEL
On a night beach, Greer says this light appeared - on the ground - showing a celestial-like figure. No arms, no legs, and as out of focus as any light source forms a pretty symmetrical shape. Someone drop their phoney? No word of looking closely, or trying to communicate now an alien angel has crystallized right in front of you. No, such an advanced being would appear in the sky, above.
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FLICS SOLVED
SKY FLOTILLA
I felt embarrassed for narrator Piven, especially announcing an enhanced night photo shows a flotilla, and a structured mother flyer. In fact in time-lapse the stars had trails, and these two objects were aircraft which left vertical trails.
BALLS
A lady captured about 8 balls flying at night. One in a group or 5 or 6, changed formation into a V, pretty evenly, contracted and expanded. Another was just 2 or 3 bound together.
Even on Earth, when craft fly in formation they stay fixed, or they'd crash into each other; they wouldn't be controlled. These blowing in the wind, as usual, were probably lanterns or lit balloons joined by string.
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All UFO films here show the same ineptitude as the US Air Force who don't know how their cameras work, destroying all credence for everything else here, that already has no critical thought.
Any 5th kind interaction, like changing direction when asked, is unfortunate, yet perhaps subcreated, co-incidence.
All this is the lowest form, not highest form, of human thought. Where the cult uses any evidence to support its claims.
Unacknowledged (2017)
NO KNOWLWDGE
Greer quotes Sagan: "There is no evidence."
Greer says, "We have lots of evidence," ironically while not one bit is shown. It's just endless talk.
I don't think he intends to deceive, but is heavily deceived.
This is the shady area of lights distant and shapes vague, so what takes their place is human psychology.
Liz & Dick (2012)
LizDickulous Not
At first it seems unfortunately named, but does refer to headlines so is aptly named.
Nevermind the Nominee for Primetime Emmy Awards 2013 were Outstanding Hairstyling and Outstanding Makeup for A Miniseries or Movie, it doesn't mean it's Superficial.
It's fascinating watching the movie film itself and film other famous movies or mention them as it recreates the first blockbuster couple since Branjelina. Along its way it keeps on moving, with scenes and bold incidents and other scenes.
Highlights include:
The surprising superflous Rich poetry of Burton - and by superflous I mean the real meaning of the word, which is Super-flowing. Not excessive, like this movie isn't. Yet it is, rightly really, yet stabbed by critics' hearts.
The acted argument which is a shocking diamond.
The pair taking time-out with a castle in the background that looks like out of a fairytale.
In Liz & Diction there is never a moment that is superflous.
Often it is almost impossible to believe this isn't Elizabeth Taylor, just by her looks. And as her voice has the right raspy tone, it's the uncanny valley in the positive way.
Elizachard, or Richabeth - you make your choice ~ or LICK & DIZ ~ the result is the same. Perhaps The Richest Rollercoaster of Emotions Presented in Film is the main award it wins. This is a lively focus on the sensational, so this rare film can not go for a Burton, or die, yes it does.
Li-Lo who can Stand-Hi and Gra-Blow I mean who is Gra-Bow, sorry, do a difficult task of being the second to portray the richest man and elizest women, as far as you know. Li-lo not to be confused with lithium-ion, li-on, or a lion.
As engagingly real as The Special Relationship 2 years earlier about Clinton and Blair - you make your choice of Clintair, or Blaton.
I know you are not reading this as I'm 9 years old err too late.
Horizon Line (2020)
On A Higher Plane
If you like the plane survival type of movie, this may rate as the highest for boldness and the unexpected which outweigh the few reality lapses there may be.
With always something new over the horizon, the Stakes On A Plane do get higher, as it becomes ridiculously dangerous and like a living nightmare but as intensely enteraining.
Mercifully the synopsis for once doesn't give anything away and makes it sound pretty uneventful.
My review is too short. It needs to contain at least 150 characters. That should do it. Milk, bread...what else do I need?
Rest Stop (2006)
STOP and have a REST
Supernatural writer Schiban {really a vampwolf ghost demon} tried to inject the supernatural into torture pornography, to make it different or something more, but backfires due to sloppy, and unclear, thinking.
It's a ghost story, yet this premise is broken, by not ghostxploiting it.
Add to this heaps of infuriating flaws, mainly you would not stay at the Rest Stop once you know a killer is there, but run up the road or anywhere else, even if you just hide. This may work if the girl was trapped supernaturally, but nup, nuthin'. And at the end she runs, from the car out to kill her, along the narrow dirt track surrounded by trees.
The cop who creepliy comes from nowhere to help had no background or explanation. His story should have been he helped previous victims, and could be told by someone or been on a newspaper c;lipping creepily on the wall. And he is obligated to help new victims to make up for past failures. Typical origiditional ghost story, such as you'd find in.... SuperNatural. He is then destined to be killed again. Then him disappearing after death would have made sense. He has a gun on him, while he lies there crushed and bleeding to death, yet doesn't even mention it for ages.
At the end she kills who is dead, and is trapped like she is dead but isn't.
As always, all alternate endings should have been employed. Each addition doesn't subract, but multiples horror's re-solutions and clarifies everything. Making it a wicked, sick, evil triple-whammy ending. Try this at home, choose their own endings. Yes. She is home AND at the Rest Stop, not at rest. Split in two. Dead but alive. Body and Spirit. Double haunted. I rest in peace.
Downrange (2017)
Could Have Been A Classic
This no Duel, The Hitcher, Breakdown.
The main reason is that the initial high tension is soon dropped flat, when realism once again is thrown out, taking the movie with it. They would not sit there waiting with their phones in their pockets. Their phones should be out all the time, being jiggled in every way possible to get a signal just in case, when they got a signal nearby before.
Insted of frantically talking about what they can do immediately in urgency which would drive the tension dramatically, they just sit there for ages leaving the black guy out alone and exposed.
It is replaced with the other guy over-reacting, banging his head against the car, and swearing a lot. And waiting. That's not tension.
When he finally does talk about driving on the spare, she says your hands are on the wheel and will be blown off. What about his head? Lol. But none could think to put their hands on the bottom of the wheel. The guy just bashed his head against the car again instead. But they should have pointed out that even keeping head and body down like a stunt driver the bullets would come through as they did on the other side outside where they are.
That would have failed but at least reality wouldn't have failed instead.
Even so, there may be a point they get time to try. So they should debate it without fail in desperate hope they could try. It was an SUV so probably a four-wheel drive. You can drive with 3 wheels. The spare was not bolted on. But did they know that? They needed to anticipate it.
And would one go in while others shield behind the car or all inside? And driving off the jack. And whether they can turn it around to put the wheel back on so that side doesn't face the shooter anymore. And that the wheel will probably come off if they knew it wasn't bolted on. And if they can get the wheel, with the car blocking it. Or back it up so that big tree trunk nearby blocks the wheel from the shooter. All this creates tension of the unknown future outcome let alone if it happens, and stops it falling flat like it did. The hand has to change gear. You have to hold the stick as low as you can. But they simply never ask at the start, in crumbling terror: What can we do?
The film is a step above, being a Shudder Original. All the more a shame, because a film just cannot come back from inexcusable filmaking flaws.
Summary: Could Have Been A Classic.
Monsters of Man (2020)
HOW NOT TO WRITE A REVIEW
REALITY
This film is a model example of if you don't have the real foundation, the entire film will steadily crumble all the way along. Becasue if you don't believe it's real, it's failed. It's also another example of a crowd-funder making someone think they can suddenly make movies.
The three who are supposed to be creators of the robots with full AI come across like uni students in front of their laptops in some plain room, not high-tech scientists who would be in a real facility, or the military.
The single CIA guy there controlling them, like robots, is more like a criminal. You, Robot. CIA not AI.
And to double this you have the main bad boss guy above them alone in some distant room, with a US flag of course, on his laptop overseeing their laptops. This known actor who was a Die Hard villian is in there the entire film, probably because he had to be.
Three tiers for this film. Hit hit hit, horroray. And the hard-edge violence of course can't add to unrealism. It just doesn't work.
I think I even saw Chappie's bendy ears. So they copied the one mistake that film made, of no function.
PLOT
Every scene is a plot hole.
First, military robots would not be used to see if they can kill some drug drealers in the middle of nowhere. The huge company that made these robots would know they can kill. They would have tests, practice scenes, like with paint guns or lasers. War games.
Here again is where it fails. It would be right and actually interesting to have a real military test, even exciting if small. How is a drug maker gonna fight back or test the robot in a one-sided kill? It's just plain stupid when you think.
Take away robots, soldiers would have practically been the same. The robots only once offered a difference, besides their invulnerability and inhuman force. And that was the one clever bit. But the addition to this near the end was a laugh as it could not be physically real.
And god it gets worse when these puppeteered puppetmasters - or roboteered robomasters - are forced to become murderers to kill witnesses and then become okay with that. No. Instead, the forces would be pulled out upon their discovery, never to be seen again. Hunting them down turns the defaulting up to 10, and the pic becomes a monster movie, overriding any unique robotential.
ACTING
And don't forget the further it goes along, the more "F..." we get, falling into the tripe of FF - Found Footage - and over-reacting, not reacting because the script has run out.
SCORE
Most of the score consists of that raspy bassy pitch lowering that all sci-fi/alien trailers use now, the exact same note probably originated in Terminator. Apparently the composer thought a trailer load of that would be even less original, more repetitive, and increasingly annoying always when a bot bot appears. I stopped count at 19, but I only started halfway. But it underscores the film's repetition perfectly.
If they melded the ominous downplay note of music with the "F's," it would have had been hilarious. And had more impact. But they didn't.
TRAILER
Tinker Trailer Soldier Spy.
The mass murderer production line was an after-plot device.
INNOVATION
The start of end titles played during end action. Loved it.
CONKCLUSION
A movie with articifical intelligence.
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DELTED SCENES (Of My Re-view)
The over-reacting supposed to be intense or edgey, but it chucks itself over the edge out of control.
A monsterpeace of man.
Fighting the Sky (2018)
Fighting The SIQNS
Click click, chirp. It' s THAT alien again.👽
The SIQNS.music gets annoying as it goes on and on. That high flute. Change it.
A third of the movie is sticking microphones up in the air.
A third is walking aimlessly.
A 90% is talking.
But the UFO materializing and the eyes and tongue of ETLizard in the first appearance only are perfect.
The Visual Bible: The Gospel of John (2003)
I TELL YOU THE TRUTH!
One thing you do not do with a movie of Jesus is put words into his mouth. Did Jesus ever say, "I tell you the truth?" Not 20 to 30 times.
The lead player tried hard, almost too hard, to be dynamic, and at times copy the superb alive performance of Robert Powel. That film's music was also stolen so cheaply here. Unless it was The Mummy. One of those Mid-Eastern films with the unforgettable romantic key shift.
I tell you the truth, there was not but one parable in this movie of 3 hours.
Midsommar (2019)
MIDSOMMAR MURDERS ReVisits THE VILLAGE That Sacrifices Reality
ACT I
Ari Master starts sharp as a knife glinting on characters' faces. The depth and expression underlying reality by the actress playing Dani extra-ordinarily resonates with everyone's scary side of the mundane human condition.
This high standard of mAstery sets up an expectation, that I thought is soon betrayed by even this most-promising writer-director going to sleep, soon after a strange repeat of Hereditary's deathly grief, worked-for distinctions of shock and art, and a perfectly extended-shot camera angle. It's going to be that story, again. At least MidNight ShyerAlien made a super-strong distinct second film, and an over-50% good third one in SiQns. Hell, even The Village at least kept reality in check, which this reminds you of in its consistent tedium where going nowhere downhill mostly happens. You know at the end he will pull all his fingers out. And when he does, it is too much the same too late. Plus the echo of his first film dulls the ceremonies inconsiderably.
My expectations were too high. It changes the film. Damn me!
ACT II
But the first offence is the worst.
When the first ceremony - deliciously drawn out with building weirdness it almost becomes another painting - does happen it could help rejoin and heal the high standard. But the consequence of the visitors staying is a huge flaw, and ruins the reality of the whole rest of the film. Plus why can't the method be gentle with a substance they later have many of to produce other effects?
It seems Master Aster just could not think of a proper real way to get them to stay which is this: They needed to be forced, then the tension could begin. Because there is also no tension whatsoever. It violently throws down the situation it so highly built up.
The tripping visuals are a treat, but yet another missed development that could of added so much more. And because drugs could also become a way to get them to stay. The young group could be slowly brainwashed, and that sets up another level of growing terror as you watch them lose their minds. This is eventually done in bits and pieces, piecemeal as usual, giving the earned scattered reward.
ACT III
As it becomes The Village II, even in the face of new murder the visitors just go along with it all until the last minute. What? And still stay. Watch The Green Inferno. That is how it is done.
Also unlike Hereditary the first bizarre way the climax ceremony is done has no explanation or meaning except to shock you. But it's so worth it, though another repetition.
Only at the end do the proceedings predictably start to gel properly as they get on track to a build up as you forget the past, and now blooms with finishing promise, and did that right. The very last shot finally equaling the first.
Later when my expectations normalized I liked the film more and it's original horror vision.
The Paranormal Diaries: Clophill (2013)
The Paranormal Diaries: FLOPFILL
At the start, I was weary of repeating the Blair Witch again. It can only be done once.
Yet the first act of this did everything right. The characters were so totally real, while giving the build up of background, I started to believe it as it sucked me into its reality.
It was downclophill from there. It's like they didn't get that act two has to have the action. At 50 minutes still nothing was seen. They had gone to sleep, wandering in the darkness, making The Paranormal Diarrheas a frustrating missed opportunity.
Yet all the setup was there. The ghost-tbox. The EMF meters. The weak out-of-place ouija bored. The black mass being seen. All these were just going through the motions. I kept 'seeing' what should be. How great this film could become. For they had wound up the foundation of reality so well, one, just one scare could have changed the whole dynamic, for audience and characters. And upon the foundation crank up terror to such a real level that would not die, while invoking the other deeper world of character and all its developments. Always with the instinct to flee turned up to 11, do they stay and face their fears to fantastically find out what is going on, or run to safety?
0: When they were huddled in a group at night, a new figure could have leaned in and joined them. The audience could see but no one notices for ages.
1: Instead of the stupid ghost-box having only 'normal' random rubbish radio voices with fake forced subtitles, CLODFAIL later should have had a demonic voice as clear as thunder and lightning, stuff it. In fact with thunder, then lightning after 20 seconds. And what an impact that would make to this always failed device. I wish they had the Ovilus.
2: Then the black mass they approached at the out-of-sight angle could have had an added higher dimension of terror, even before it manifested Satan, a demon, or at least a plain figure. Super scary as hell.
When it finally did show something, it didn't matter it was nearly over and was done is the least scary way - at a distance. Typically indirect of CHLOROPHIL.
I was surprised once more though, that when the first close scare finally did come and come hell it did, the lady's reaction was exemplary, even more in its extension.
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Which BLAIR WITCH counterpoints.
0]The background indistinct non-music atmosphere sound, even present at the end titles, just made you think of the original film. Any of 10 other new sooky sounds could have been created.
1] Crack sounds in the night, repeating. Rubbish.
2] The awful discovery of bleeding flesh on the ground.
3] The one clever discovery of the snake in the S for Sarah or Sophia whatever the dead person's name was resonates in shocking reality with the witchy twiggy symbols found in BW - the first real evidence.
4] Because nothing was happening, having each member stand alone even looked like a dull reflection of the end of the first movie.
But you can just insert a scare anywhere, instead of the bare boned emptiness they defaulted to, and build on that, and it's so easy. And this is just act 2 I'm talking. Haven't even got to 3 yet where it must go higher, newer, better as it comes together, and fly not die.
But now I know why. They were following the Blair Witch all the way. And that showed the minimal, but benefitted from it. CLOTPILL did show, but deficited from it.
Dark Encounter (2019)
Close Encounter of the Turd Kind
Stars silently moving in the sky.
From the identical toy cymbal-clapping monkey toy - almost made another character in the movie it is shown so many times - to the truck whose electronics go haywire, then suddenly stop. Followed by Roy Neary's torch in the middle of nowhere going on as it points up in his face. But wait, then yes! The light beam does descend on the truck.
To the star of the show, a budget bright one-coloured light instead of a UFO, shining the thin dimness of this misbegotten fantasy travesty whose many good reviews are as fake.
The country house being flooded with intense light and causing poltergeist activity right down to the climactic knives being thrown. The monkey's cymbals do clap - almost a perfect symbol in itself making you go: What? Light with dusty rays descending in the house through windows. Footsteps on the roof, also taking a shine to Siqns.
Even the toy train set, the outside swing set.
All deliberately plagiarized to make the point this writer-director can't think one idea, nor get close to the original Close Encounters, so defaults to some sickly homage inbetween. But one original idea, regarding the alien stuff, does exist in this insulting mess: The water from a tap spirals out. At last! One thing I could respect. It actually could have a point to it, like alien DNA?
Other times The SiQns music is ripped off so weakly, it's a perfect match for the unconscious thoughtlessness on display here. As well as you can't help but think of the black Sheriff from SiQns. Other times The Abyss is abducted to suddenly randomly give its inspiration in theme and music. You can guess how.
It even carries over CE3's dichotomy, one may call a flaw, in how the aliens who so severely and scarily abducted a child (one actual difference?), reappear as purely benevolent. The fake horror show, then much sooner after the awe and wonder of a spot light in the sky moving without any definition or appeal.
But the original, who should be able to win 15 to 20 suing suits, was a well-researched overview. This hack and flash, this fright and light, this beat-up beam-me-up, has no such endeavour, when the source material has an abundance of different ideas not yet put to film.
La lupa mannara (1976)
AN ITALIAN WEREWOLF IN ITALY: Missed Opportunity.
The most memorable part of this movie being the opening where she is the werewolf, such a fulfilling full body costume and image should have been used at least twice more, and for all the time spent making it. In the middle, and the end, therefore. But filmed together. Then it would set up the premise and tension: Is she, or isn't she? Because the film is pretty cut and died without it, especially after the promise at the start that is not followed through, and then fulfilled. It's top heavy, so to speak. Instead of bottom heavy. Though there is plenty of that.
And you'd have to think creatively, as well as destructively.
Very hell to rip out her sister's hubby's throat with her bare teeth, that's what a wolf in woman's clothing does. Surely there was some way to make her sister is a werewolf too. But in the mental institution where she gets violent and is restrained, it's a good time for Venus to grow furs. Yet are all the shock reactions of the staff for that? When she is released by the nympho she eats, shewolf can go full commando.
A look of pre-emptive howling horror can come on the next victim's face, beside and beyond him being murdered. And you see sheena has transformed in the twilight of the full moon. It's the original nightmare.
Perhaps another murder in progress sees this carnivourous kitten furry all over with the cute hairy nose and excellent extended animal nipples, having a real pretty tail this time, Bad Moon, no pouch, that you wonder is the victim obvlious to as he's being murdered as she is having animal intercourse with him. And he begins to change, The Freaks! Yes, supernaturally immediately.
Finally, at the climax, after the wolfwoman murdered the men who took her humanity, she could be in jail, staring at the full moon. And without dissolving, for once, she changes cleverly, ears and all, claws for all, more fur than before, more powerful, more enraged. And she growls the walls down with vengeance in her mouth and red eyes looking beyond at her human male captors.
But, still. Is she? Or isn't she? Lesbian. Lycanthropian.
Quarantine Tarantino. Quarantino.
Crawl (2019)
ALLIGATICANE
Alligaticane, or Alligatorricane as it's known in Serbia, Alligator Hurricane in China, is a high-end Sharknado. It's funny seeing in the Special Features producer The Evil Dead Sam Raimi say how original this film is, that how come no one has thought of alligators in a hurricane before?
Also of note is both dad and dau get one hand and one leg bit. Is that symbolic? Talk about like father like daughter. Together they make a whole person.
Though the character played by the alligator was believable, there wasn't huge depth as the water was shallow, like "The Shallows."
I felt the alligator action too often go a bit beyond reality, rather than the wiser choice a bit within reality. Plus it needed more outside characters to add variety, and suspense of skilful alternative actions. This relief only happened once, soon cut short by obvious cliché. Hurricalligator was too monotonous with two hands below deck.
The similar "Bait," with sharks, is better, and I don't think jumps the shark. Hurricaney Horror Gator (Philippines) jumps the alligator once, so almost every time. "Rogue" of over 10 years ago, and "Lake Placid" of 20 years ago, means see you again alligator in 10.
But the shock value makes it worth it.
The most important thing of a proper mauling by alligator is gratifyingly seen in this filmnado. That's the main thing. At its head, a dull start was misguidedly substituted for the alternate opening, but allowed a cringy act of female heroinism at its tail.
Now what would be original is Alligators and Sharks together.
My Pet Dinosaur (2017)
MY pET DINOSAUR
The clever and fitting Title Card is possibly my favourite thing about this movie.
The strength of Matt Drummond's first film, DINOSAUR ISLAND, was originality. It didn't hold back in its vast imagination, allowing a climactic clever plot development, all which flew above seeming unbelievability. It was bold and clear while perhaps being the most mysterious world in a film, dreamlike in fact.
The weakness of MY PET DINOSAUR is plagiarising ET. The film's lowest point, the kid saying, "I'm keeping him," is a lack of that same imagination, and was the original film's high point. ET phoney home.
If at least he said, "I'm not keeping him." It's a dinosaur! That could have been dumbly clever and allowed a totally different dynamic, and humour - stolen but paid for - especially if the only lonely dino sadly wanted to keep coming home to his little "mummy" who didn't want him. The dino needed more personality like that. The connection between the excellently animated main character and his only friend seemed missing, causing the kid to painfully force emotion, too many times. Well he tried hard.
The writer/director/producer/cinematographer/art director/visual effecter/lead animator tries hard too, to fill the film in all ways, firstly characters and happenings.
Another weakness is that because this film is set in reality, the way the dinosaur is created, and other creatures, though intriguing, makes his last film's reality seem rock solid, and it jars.
The best part is the lead character's sudden growth spurts - not the kid the dino - half original because in the film it comes from, 20 MILLION MILES TO EARTH (1957), the monster grew gradually.
The humour at home alone with the new pet is perfect, which is reflected by a later scene in bigger proportions if you make the connection, which I didn't. The UFO part mirrors the less-than-real military presence whose purpose, like creature creation, is never explained. It didn't have to be though, did it. Because it's inevitably ALIEN again, by fault, and again makes no sense. There's barely a carnivore in sight.
Instead of that so-overdone-it's-black plot point, surely something thoughtful would have been better, such as scientists wanting to learn what magical power of creation they have unexpectedly unleashed, providing a sense of wonder and breakthrough. Military is totally the wrong department, so again there is a gap. Imagine a film without a bad guy. Unthinkable. His first film.
Another difference of the two films is this has fake American accents, filmed in Australia as some vehicles' steering betrays. It loses honesty points, and charm which it has plenty of. ET go home.
Solo: A Star Wars Story (2018)
THE ONLY STAR WARS THAT HAS COLOUR MESSED WITH
BLACK & WHITE
Why do film makers destroy the picture of their major films? Not since Dunkirk has there been such a blasphemy, properly called Gunkkirk. This distinction or difference is too common like a virus. They just don't get they look like bad prints of 1960's films, with the colour all off, dark, like this world has become, that need remastering, like this world needs. But this is the first black & white Star Wars film. Yeh it's in the past, but not that long ago. Did Ron Howard become completely colour blind?
COLOUR CORRECTION
First, you must double the brightness. (By turning up the contrast). A film made in 3D needs more brightness, so what do they do? Less.
Put the colour up to 90 or 100. Yes, that is how much they drain the life out of the film and how much is needed to cure sepia sickness.
Put the green down 10 or 20 % on the colour temperature, to remove that slight sick.
GOOD PICTURE
This brings life back into the film, and reality. Chewy is actually brown, different browns, not grey. People have flesh tones, instead of ashen grey like the dead. Snow is white and bright, not dark and grey. Before, it was like some bad dark cartoon, taking you out of reality. Now there is contrast and full range of tones.
Then you can enjoy the film how it was intended. And actually see the Star Wars film with some of the best original creature and droid designs, in full colour. It's a revelation. It's literally been remastered. And soon it doesn't matter the main actor looks nothing like Han Solo. Like Rogue One, this becomes a more real Star Wars film than the new main ones, surprisingly elegantly dis-covering all of Hansome's previous mentioned plots with continuous action.
Apart from the many-bluelight-eyed creature mistakenly incongruously inelegantly stolen, yet again, from Independence Day/The Matrix/Skyline/.
And like Rogue, a solid different-again distinct droid, unlike the cute Disney main generic thing.
The Boy (2016)
How The Boy SHOULD HAVE ENDED
Here is how The Boy should have ended.
When the doll is smashed by the bad guy - who finally adds needed negative guts to the film - through the wall should ominously come... not a homeful bum, but the boy.
Spirit or real, but released logically rather than the jarring once-again impossibly- timed appearance of the adult boy, somehow madly hiding in the wall.
The boy is smashed, broken, in pieces. Perhaps an arm missing and head and some features half coming off, with a cracked face.
Rather than a stupid mask of the boy that also makes no sense like the rest of that adult boy.
Maybe he could be bigger, like the spirit is.
In panicked terror, the bad guy punches the good boy in the face, but can't touch him now.
But the boy can touch him. He just creeps up on him. He keeps touching him.
It becomes a battle between the physical and spiritual or supernatural.
The boy disappears.
The bad guy has a china, expressionless face.
Jurassic Predator (2018)
Jocular Predator
This homemade film is a parody of movies, and a disrespect to dead dinosaurs.
The write up explains what the movie can't show and promises what it can't give. Even the film's start is a write up.
The name is taken from another, real movie, also called Predator X. Why not call it Rubberhead Rex?
A guy working at a multi-story housing estate or some ordinary building where they haven't even bothered to put up a sign, with absolutely no equipment, just empty rooms, makes the upper third of a dribbling rubber dinosaur, plus part of the back.
It escapes its flimsy single chain, leaving lots of static intestines and limbs behind, and grows off screen somehow, apparently.
All this insanity puts Asylum at studio level, relatively, who at least use whole dinosaurs.
But the worst is yet to go.
If there is a T rex head on the loose, with no legs or arms or tail, well no body, why call on the Army and Air Force? Ex-crims are badder and better than soldiers.
This crack-smoking team of soldiers is The Halfwit Half-Dozen or Stupid Six (I can't recall), The Fooling Five (I didn't count), or The Insignificant Seven (I didn't care).
So, picking on stupid mistakes The Cocky Cockneys make after is even more stupid.
This film is a threat, not a fact.
What a complete cockup, cocker.
The film does highlight a current disturbing trend that any quality is acceptable:
A filmmaker who doesn't bother to learn his craft and clone a real dinosaur while staying within the limits he must can only make prolific failures.
How this amateur shocker is released on DVD is even more disturbing.
Guide: No swearing sex, or nudity. Oh, but gore galore is heaped on after no fact.
Ghosts in the Hood (2016)
IN DEFECIO WE CLAIM VICTORY
In Adam's Drive Thru Funeral Home, one team member, Matty, sat in a chair with a strobe light on which is a new way to bring ghosts out. It worked! He jumped from being touched on his left side.
The tech guy, Purdy, played the vid for the establishment owner, and said he needed to step though each frame because you couldn't see it normal speed.
When the strobe came on, a human-like shadow different to Matty's fixed shadow moved from his right side to his left, in three frames.
Trouble is, when I froze the same frames in the full speed one, making sure the body position and facial expression, arms, hands, fingers, thumbs, eyes, and all relative positions matched exactly, there was no shadow. It took me an hour and a half on my home PVR {Paranormal Video Recorder}.
In the end, like the beginning with the place name this crew haunted, this just added to the comedy, which can't be faulted.
Adam's official initial bewildered head turned to instant acceptance of their evidence, including the ghostypical EVP {Electronic Voice Phenomena} where no one really hears any distinguishable voice so always has to be subtitled like in all these other shows where everyone instantly nods in agreement.
But the OPO {Official Paranormal Operations} team's bold final solution would be hard for even spectating bespectacled Adam to accept, who did not know which way to go, proving that horror and humour really are linked, in a big way.
Similar to how Matt, along with the towering team leader, can look simultaneously innocent and guilty.
Sometimes scaring to give the original Ghostbusters a run for their funny - but in a RV instead of EV and big as a small house - maybe even outdoing them in creative solutions often tragically and comically too literal, the cap on whatever this spook show has bottled where not one of them is white as a ghost, is the Asian medium, Jasmine, whose more matter-of-fact procedure than anything on Earth adds that extra needed invisible dimension - of direct contact.
Quite opposite to the Earthly researcher Maunda.
What paranormal entity can stand against a team where everyone makes fun of everyone else, and whose leader is the classic Defecio, who will not accept crap and defeat from any ghosts?
Witchouse (1999)
The Witchouse Project
To have two sequels, this film must have been a success which surprised Fool Moon, and can only be due to its half-namesake, The Blair Witch Titanic.
To end this review, there is more fake thunder and lightning in this film than all other films combined in history. I underexaggerate, because one might have {lightning and thunder} to include a few real ones {thunder and lightning} too. But {thunder, lightning} this could cause anyone with epilepsy to be {lightning, then thunder} killed. If not cured. Or cause it in one without it {thunder and soon the lightning}. This alone makes it almost unwatchable and unhearable. I kill you not, this {thunder while lightning} {lightning and thunder} goes {thunder and lightning} on until {lightning and thunder} the very end. It is that much. It's always overhead {lightning and thunder then lightning too} too, because the {thunder} thunder almost comes before the lightning {lightning} every time. {No thunder. Thunder.} It is set in {thunder, before lightning} one house, until when they come outside. The End.
I did partly enjoy the guy who couldn't help taking off that guy in the original FrightNight, with his weird way of talking like he had a lighting and thunder rod on his head. And there is some Fullish Moon humour between humans, witch I laughed at. But by far the highlight is the eary metallic thunder and studio lightning which stole every scene, as if it would go dark otherwise or the film would run out. But it did not. Watch The Titanic Blair Witch Project inhomestead.
Our Universe 3D (2013)
A Visual Smorgasbord of Infinity
OUR UNIVERSE 3D
The Narrator's voice that often has no break from one segment to the next seems to match the continuous flow of the 3D modeling of planets which are quite realistic, giving a sense of how much is packed into this compact special.
In this 50 minute visual tour of the solar system and beyond made in 2013, every major part of our solar system is shown from space and the surface, including major moons and Pluto in its icy Kuiper belt, showing main features, some animated, while explaining facts you may know and some you don't. It seems Mars uses actual photos taken from the surface, made 3D.
The unending variety of computer animation is of course not photo real, but pretty good and gets close sometimes, particularly close views of planets from space that fill much of the screen. Yet in modern fashion, it's all in no particular order, as if to increase variety.
More inspiring are what appear to be actual photos of deep space, given 3D treatment. Nebulas that start to appear after a few planets, and later galaxies.
I think there are more even than in IMAX: Hubble 3D, which were overseen by scientists to be accurate in the 3D. The ones in Our Universe appear as good, maybe ones left out.
There is more packed into this 50 minutes than you'd think, so seems longer or more filling than many a feature movie in a sense. Rarely a dull or wasted moment - forgiving the slightly dusty or goofy made-up rover on some planets, like a 6-wheeled solar beetle whose two eyes on top of its square head seem a little too human.
I finished not wishing they had done one thing more or that they had missed anything, and is pretty up to date, with nothing complicated. Except again being overwhelmed by the ridiculous size of infinity, myself in the middle, and the amount of incomprehensible galaxies.
Extinction (2014)
The Importance of Great Expectations of Being Not Extinct
The success of a film like this depends as much on your expectations as the film. Being a monster born of the Blair Witch Project so long ago, 1999. you know it will have long stretches of nothing happening, and you will be lucky to see much of the monster, but should have realism beyond any 'fiction' film to compensate. And this one has the advantage the monsters were real, a long time ago....in a world where we live. In this film it would be inexcusable not to show the title monster. But I also had fairly high expectations, along with a willingness to go along for the ride.
The best feature was the high realism throughout of the characters and what happened, allowing for believability and actual tension, as well as the inevitable tedium.
Real tension and fear is created with sounds. So, given this documentary-type film's realism, anticipation of the dinosaurs in this was different than any Jurassic Park. It was increased, because it was more real. So I anticipated that when the first dino appeared the reality would go bye bye. And though it threatened to at first, I employed my motto I just made up now - forgiveness is its own reward - and the later encounters easily verged on utterly believable. Maybe my expectations included I really wanted to believe it. Plus the fact I kind of like Raptor Island and the recent dino movies of CGI dinos, for the fun of it, and even the mid-90's Carnosaurus trilogy. Yes, I wanted my belief to have the gravity of a real dinosaur, while my suspension of disbelief was lifted.
Even better for me was that it took me a long time to figure out how it was done. Maybe my desire to believe got the better of me. Like this sub-genre of found footage should be: The maxim of maximum potential in most limitations. Was this CGI? It looked so solid. Was this a stroke of genius?
But later, two lines lifted from Jurassic Park disappointed me and took me out of this movie. Until I realised the filmmaker was not just taking; he was adding. He knew what he doing I think, because of the new contexts, or outcomes, he put them in. So he gave a couple of nods to the original best, while looking at it - in the other direction.
Unlike the other E film, or Ex film - Exists, a FFF about BigFoot - these creatures were done largely in the day, I'm thankful for. The filmmakers mostly took care to maximise them being believable. Likewise, the peoples' realism and fear was maintained, but also increased. Right til after the end and even beyond it. I for one would like to see the sequel!
On a final note, though this film, like all the others, did not fulfil the holy grave, err grail, of a dino actually eating a person how it would be, that Jurassic Disney Park should have done first, it may have come the closest a couple of times.
Close Encounters: Proof of Alien Contact (2000)
CLOSE ENCOUNTERS: Proof of Human Contact
The videos, and some photos, of this DVD are 'analyzed' or 'probed' by a supposed footage analyst who is shockingly consistently embarrassing:
THE Sweden UFO
One of the most striking UFO videos, this was tricky. Was it a glowing blimp? It suspiciously just floated along. No, it was a small boat, and you are looking at the water. That explains the narrow longer end and blinking light. You can almost see the horizon. Maybe the prankster gangster who filmed it or sold it put the brightness up to make the floating object 'glow.'
THE London LANDING
Helicopter searchlight. That's why you see cars through it. As you can see, it's filmed from the air. That 'probe' that has jumped as far away from the 'UFO' as the analyst's logic and sight has, is probably the back of vehicle, maybe a motor bike. It has a red tinge.
PROBES
This is the lowest form of name-calling. Calling everything a probe. A satellite. Or Venus - which is the first thought of the video with lightning, and is not pulsating but is atmospheric effect everyone sees when the star is low.
GUARDIAN UFOS
Already debunked as landed helicopters I think.
2 UFOS ON MOON
This really is as lame as the moon conspiracy irrationality. But I can't figure what part of the spacecraft - err, human spacecraft - it is. This starts as video where you can see the sun and horizon briefly before it's conveniently kept out of view, as if a camera was being set up.
MOON WITH UFO
Moon with Earth. Very tricky. Took a long time. And shows how easily fooled you can be even when you are essentially skeptical.
1978 NEW ZEALAND UFO CASE
This here defines perfectly the logic of this whole program, and the narrator who also doesn't seem to mind being mindless. That famous frame of the nighttime UFO which is accompanied by the estimate of unearthly speed - of the nervous guy's hand-held cam in a shaky plane.
IMPLANTS
Now the creme-de-la-alien. Dr. Roger Leir always creeps me out, as if I can't trust him, and I cannot solve this implant junk as easily as cattle has been. But first, it's foreign matter - from earth, maybe from a fall or hitting something. How to explain the non-earth composition? How many fragments of meteorites there must be lying around. How would a piece of meteorite serve any function? No circuitry, nothing. So that alone almost proves it is delusion. It has not been cross-referenced with biological experts. Just the scientific analysis data. So this Leir guy takes it on his own that these are alien, with no second or real opinion. Just him. No one else. Plus it could be faked. Conclusion: Crackpot.
REAL BITS?
This doesn't leave much, but those with actual experience who talk. And the few good photos we have all seen before. Yep, there is not one video in this shameful mess, let alone that is newer. Lazaar is always compelling and fantastically believable, yet again alone. Dr. Leir's talking of the piece of the alien craft that crashed at Roswell could finally seem a valid input too, if it could be trusted.
Hammer of the Gods (2009)
BORE: The DUMmer of the DOGS
Now and again, a movie comes along that lowers the standard of all that has been before it, and challenges your reality of what sucks, and forever changes you for the worst. This is one of those movies.
What else can I take from this movie that hasn't already been said?
BORE: The Bummer of the Gods. He wasn't a god, he was a bore.
BORE: The Dummer of the Gods. Who, like the rest of the cast, stand around talking.
THIS YEAR
BORE: The Dummer of the Dogs. Whose enemies wear dog masks as unmoving as this movie.
SEE! The the plastic werewolf masks they refrain from showing. Until you know it's too late.
HEAR! Our heroes talking every minute.
SMELL! This stinking dog.
TASTEless!
FEEL! Nothing.
SENSEless!
Watch! Your expectations lower beneath the underworld as all your sense is lost.
Terminal Invasion (2002)
Invasion of the Body Things Again, in One Room
I'd like to add to the bad reviews. This film is terminal. This film contains nothing but spoilers.
This goes to show how expectations can ruin a poor movie.
1) To start, major disappointment the "terminal" is not an airport, but a room in the middle of nowhere.
2) Second major disappoint: You know from the start the whole film will not leave that damn room. similar to what some features from Full Moon Studios threaten to do, yet I think they always manage to leave it.
Looking bad so far...
3) And you also know pretty early it is a total talk fest, with no action.
4) You also know it is purely derivative - or pure dribble.
I thought there was one decent line in the whole movie, for that was the only one with some thought, not a cliché. At the end, but I will spoil it for you.
When the police siren is heard by the criminal, he says, "They're playing my song." (But maybe I haven't seen the movie it was stolen from.)
The only shock was that Sean S. Cunningham directed it.
At least other Sci-fi Channel pics have interesting CGI monsters, action, and some tension.