stargirl42792 Reviews

Beauty and the Geek (2005–2008)

Slightly Entertaining, Mostly Insulting

[3 July 2005]

Let's face it. Ashton Kutcher was never a genius. But even his wild, immature antics on "Punk'd" can be justified compared to the pure stupidity of the contestants on "Beauty and the Geek." Actually, it's more like "Selfish, Stereotype Hottie and the Pathetic Loser." This reality show is basically a cross between a dating show and a college thesis experiment. It takes a certain number of average, somewhat pathetic, guys, most with freakishly high IQ's, and forces them to live in a mansion with an equal number of extremely hot, shallow girls that they get to drool over. And they aren't exactly Ivy-Leauge material. Each girl is paired up with a guy who, to their dismay, is their roommate. In each episode, both the guy and the girl educate the other to face two different challenges, including how to change a tire and to salsa dance. In the end, two teams face off, and one is eliminated.

The idea itself isn't bad. Changing someone's shallow judgment on national TV through a reality show sounds interesting. But the pure, undeniable stupidity of the female contestants takes away from the power that this show could have. Watching them fail a fifth grade geography test isn't funny, especially when the girls are in front of an audience. And the chemistry between a 'Geek' and a 'Beauty' is crushing to watch knowing that her adorable, lovable partner has a crush on her.

Some good lessons do come out of the show. Very early into the series, almost everyone has learned not to judge a book by its cover, and they are heartbroken at the thought of leaving each other. But it happens too early. The entire theme basically is destroyed, and we're bored again. In the end, it softens up on the Beauties and helps the Geeks with their less-than-adequate people skills. They all are left with some moral and educational lessons. And we're stuck wondering why such nice guys couldn't get dates before, regardless of how they look.

Though it might soften your superficial heart a little, it isn't as entertaining as it is cruel and embarrassing. Extreme Makeover: Home Edition is better.

The Glass House (2001)

"Glass House" Might Shatter

[6/10 · 18 June 2005]

Just like Jello, this movie is enjoyable, bouncy, entertainment, with no real nutritional value or taste.

The plot isn't exactly original. It starts when a couple, the Bakers, die, leaving behind a decent-sized fortune to their kids, Ruby and Rhett. After their death, the kids are adopted by another couple. (They don't exactly live in a glass house. Just a nice mansion with lots of windows.) At first, the couple seem like they're trying to make the kids comfortable at home. However, after awile, the kids start to suspect that their new parents are after their inheritance.

The script is great, as well as the acting. Leelee Sobieski, playing Ruby, steals every scene, expressing strength and vulnerability. And Trevor Morgan (Rhett) displays some sparks of talent. But it all feels so clichéd'. The plot has been used a million times before, and there are too many dramatic action scenes. It also leaves you wondering something: Why would two adults that rich want to kill two teenagers just for some extra cash?

The creators of this film weren't too creative, but the cast covers it up decent enough. After all, it could be worse. They could've thought up a "Glitter" sequel instead.

New York Minute (I) (2004)

Not Worth A Minute

[2/10 · 31 May 2005]

There isn't much to say about this movie other than it bored me out of my mind. Seriously. I yawned all throughout it in the theater.

The plot is senseless and unbelievable-and not in a good, entertaining way. It focuses on two twin sisters living in New York, livin' the good life with their typical cliché' of a workaholic father. As always, Ashley Olsen plays the conservative, uptight, college-bound sister that seems even more compulsive than me, and Mary Kate plays the rebel. Somehow, on her way to a college interview, Jane Ryan (Ashley) loses her stupid date book, runs into Roxy (Mary Kate), and they get entangled in a black market scam. In the meantime, Roxy is also chased by a guy who thinks he's MacGyver (Eugene Levy), to catch her ditching school. Confused? It doesn't make much sense if you see it, either.

Every scene, it feels like it might get funnier, but then throws in another immature joke or cliché', and the audience is disappointed again. It's an endless excuse for Mary-Kate and Ashley to parade around naked. And to tote around the ugliest little bald dog that the plot includes. Some parts actually do border on being mildly stimulating, like one minute of it.

In short, IT SUCKS! For sisters worth 2 billion, you'd think that they would put some money, time, or effort into their first feature film.

Summerland: Pilot (2004) Season 1, Episode 1

"Summerland" Is No Day At The Beach

[5/10 · 16 December 2004]

Just like a smoothie, this movie is sweet, smooth fun with no way to improve that bittersweet sugar taste at the end. The plot begins when aspiring fashion designer Ava Gregory (Lori Loughlin) receives an over-dramatic phone call from her 16-year-old nephew, Bradin (Jesse McCartney), and learns that her sister and brother-in-law have died during a flood in their small Kansas hometown. This leaves Ava to forget her carefree lifestyle in California to care for Bradin, along with his 12-year-old sister, Nikki (Kay Panabanker), and little brother, Derrick (Nick Benson). Helping her are some incredibly irresponsible best friends (played decently enough by Ryan Kwanten, but dragged down with Merrin Dugney), but they all have such a strange view of parenthood that they don't help much. Through the rest of the season, normal problems occur, all while the old sparks begin to light up between Ava and her ex-boyfriend (Shawn Christian). The beginning of the series seems too rushed and too dragged on at the same time, and creative, interesting characters that are brought up seem to disappear as quickly as they arrived. And the cast isn't exactly the best pick for an Emmy, either. (It would do the writers a lot of good to get rid of Bradin, whose character seems self-absorbed, obsessed with sleeping with his girlfriend, and drowning in self- pity. Jesse can't act worth a dime, and he seems like he's desperately trying to establish a teen heartthrob image in between lines, like cutie Orlando Bloom did without trying in the Lord of the Rings.) Anyway, there are some parts of the show that are more than bearable, though, like the postcard-worthy beach scenes. There are also some small sparks of talent that the writers show when they create their interesting, nonconformist characters that mean a colorful cast, and the reactions to the sudden changes that always happen seem pretty realistic. This smoothie could use a few less bananas, more strawberries and ice, and a lot less sweetener to unsweeten that very last sip.

Seinfeld (1989–1998)

"Overrated, Over-hyped, And Over-Appreciated"

[24 November 2004]

After becoming a critics' favorite, going strong for 9 seasons, and basically making history as one of America's most beloved sitcoms, you'd think that such a show would be another "Friends." Except, well, that "Friends" was good. Ever since it's debut, "Seinfeld" gained a reputation as being a show that was, well, about nothing. It focused on the life of four New Yorkers as they thought up get-rich-quick scams, revenge cons, and sorted through romantic problems that seem extremely pointless. Though the writers occasionally flirt with bringing in a new character, the cast mostly stays the same, including Jerry (Jerry Seinfeld), Elaine (Julia Louis-Dreyfus), George (Jason Alexander), and Kramer (Michael Richards). But this show seems to really be about nothing at all. Nothing worth watching, anyway. Everyone seems lazy, senseless, boring, and self-absorbed. The unbelibaly surrealistic plots are far more confusing and less attractive than on a prime time show still running, such as "Reba" on the WB Friday. And it doesn't help that in most episodes, everyone talks so fast that the audience can't listen without getting a headache. But you've got to respect Kramer. Not many people could just walk through a doorway and start shaking, and then make it a trademark to the rest of the public.

Boy Meets World (1993–2000)

"Boy Meets World" Shines and Fades Away

[15 November 2004]

In this simply put plot, the cameras follow the lives of scheming best friends Corey (Ben Savage) and Shawn (Rider Strong) as they continuously create senseless schemes that always seem to fall apart. To make the plot less like the equally laugh-out-loud comedy "Kenan and Kel" that ended later, cast along with them is Corey's perfect, perky love interest, Topanga (Danielle Fishel), and Corey's clueless but sweet brother Eric. During the earlier seasons, the plots are almost surrealistic, and the writers are fresh with ideas and laughs. And even in the times when the great acting can't overshadow the scrapped up plots, something always manages to happen to get a laugh out of the audience. Unfortunately, the best points of the show die down almost as soon as the characters reach their senior year of high school, and while even then it's funny enough to watch, their college episodes are unbearable. The once sweet, responsible Corey becomes immature and obsessed with sleeping with Topanga before graduation, and Topanga herself becomes an overly-perky control freak. Shawn's bad boy image grows tiring and lays thin after a few minutes, and the plots becone boring. They address issues such as drinking, child abuse, and cheating on your spouse so much, it's like watching an endless string of Public Service Announcements, except that PSA's are catchy. Shawn meets a long lost brother. Corey's parents have another baby. And, just to make it confusing, the director adds a new character to the show, only to make it worse. Shawn's love interest, Angela, is constantly causing unneeded problems, and her on-off romances with Shawn are annoyingly frequent. In fact, if it weren't for the still-adorable Eric, the show would be worse than watching paint dry. Anyway, bottom line- to watch the first five or so seasons? Absolutely. The last ones? You could, or you could read a good book.