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alex-mott
I like films too.
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Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
The Beekeeper (2024)
Unintentionally hilarious
The second level of meaning and historical references to bees are intriguing, but don't be fooled. This is another Jason Statham film where the protagonist gets angry and decides to kill everyone responsible - and nothing can stop him! Not hired thugs, not teams of private security guards, not even the FBI! I laughed so many times. Agent Verona Parker didn't shed a tear after learning that her mother died a few minutes ago, the FBI couldn't find the baddies in months but a local cop friend of Clay's located them in 5 mins, stoichiometric ratios don't exist (as usual) and the only thing that survived another huge fireball explosion was a book about beekeeping. Jason Statham looks great for his age, Jeremy Irons' hair parting actually changes sides and it's only 1hr45mins. Sit back, chuckle and wait for the inevitable Beekeeper 2.
The Marvels (2023)
Nowhere near as bad as expected
If you watch this film through a window of political agendas, you probably won't like The Marvels. If you don't, it's just a harmless, fun, slightly scatty Marvel chick flick. On the plus side it's not a Jaws 2 re-run, but a good sequel and story continuation due to the additional cast and backstory each character brings. There's also a much more relatable Carol Danvers (rather than the completely invincible character seen to date) and a revenge story so simple a child could follow it - although I wasn't clear how a civil war on Hala caused problems with their sun. Whilst slightly gross, using the flerkens as a means of emergency transport makes perfect, practical sense to the mind of an engineer and the accompanying music from Cats was a nice comedic touch. On the downside it could have done without the singing planet sequence, the CGI is dodgy in places and the pacing is sometimes uneven. This could be related to the reported production problems and reshoots, but the fight scene with the Skrulls in Kamala's house went on too long and the ending seemed rushed (imo). Compared to the recent run of disastrous female-fronted films (Terminator: Dark Fate, Ghostbusters, Annihilation and Charlie's Angels) The Marvels is probably the best out of the lot.
Leave the World Behind (2023)
Good storytelling, lots of ideas and very entertaining
This film feels like it was knocked together by an engineer or a cook, as the story elements of tension, mystery and evolution have been assembled near perfectly. An interpersonal drama about the confusion regarding the ownership of a rental property creates the tension, whilst the numerous possible causes for the accompanying catastrophic 'event' - and there are even suggestions of something from space - bubble away in the background providing the mystery. This is combined with excellent pacing for a film with a run time of 2rs 20mins, good performances all round (especially Julia Roberts' cantankerous old bag), creative camerawork and good production and visual effects, particularly the tanker beaching scene. Due to the open ending and unanswered questions there's also no reason why this story can't evolve and continue. If you're not a fan of conspiracy theories or end of the world movies the subject matter may not be for you, but in terms of filmmaking alone it's undeniable that Leave the World Behind ticks a lot of boxes.
Oldboy (2013)
Oldboy 'lite'
This is pretty much the same pattern as Manhunter and Red Dragon: an expensive, completely needless remake packed with an A-list cast and definitely not an improvement on the original. Samuel L. Jackson must have owed someone a favour to accept a role as small as Chaney and Sharlto Copley completely overdoes it, even for a character as damaged as Adrian. There are on screen call backs to the original version plus some small changes and whilst it's not a disaster of a film, because of the shorter run time it simply doesn't have the depth, power and tragedy of the original - or Young Wuk Cho's brilliant and apt score.
Upgrade (2018)
The 6+ reviews were written by AI
Whilst some sci-fi concepts are handled maturely (Rollerball, Blade Runner and District 9 for example) Upgrade is basically written for teenagers. The set up is weak and if your IQ is over 65 you'll work out in the first 10 minutes that Eron (and thereby STEM) set up the crash and mugging because it needed a volunteer to test the new technology. You then face the decision of whether or not to bother with another 90mins of plot holes, plastic set pieces, cringey lines and a bad guy that looks like Hitler only to find out you were correct from the start. Logan Marshall-Green and most of the cast are fine but this Venom-like premise is completely overrated.
Hypnotic (2023)
Corny and banal
It's not a bad concept and the cast and production are fine, but the clunky exposition, intense (and relentless) percussive score and rushed-through pace give Hypnotic an amateurish, TV movie feel that you wouldn't expect from a director like Robert Rodriguez. This could have actually worked better if it was slightly longer, a bit more adult and took a few more risks. There are a couple of clever moments and if you're a fan of the Inception/Truman Show/Adjustment Bureau genre you may like it, but if you're expecting another slick, edgy Sin City or Grindhouse flick (just because Rodriguez wrote and directed it) you're going to be disappointed.
Ancient Apocalypse (2022)
Hardly 'controversial'
Like Graham Hancock I've travelled to many archaeological sites around the world. Unlike Graham Hancock I don't believe that these ancient structures were created using acoustic levitation or telekinesis and it's wise that the writers of this series chose not to focus on some of his more colourful theories. Otherwise it's a good, well produced series and all he's saying is that there was a global catastrophe 12,000 years ago and the scattered survivors (with knowledge of the former world) became the teachers and 'gods' to subsequent generations. He's far from alone in proposing this and the evidence is stacking up that the planet is actually subjected to a catastrophic event every 12,000 years - which may explain why this series is so 'controversial' and why it's here now.
The Pope's Exorcist (2023)
What an odd film
Russell Crowe delivers a solid performance as the Vatican's bad boy, Father Gabriel Amorth, but what an actor like him is doing anywhere near this kind of production is a mystery. Money could have been saved by casting a lesser-known actor as the lead and it still wouldn't have made a great deal of difference to this film's overall appeal. It's definitely entertaining but because it's not as disturbing as The Exorcist or as intriguing as The Da Vinci Code, it offers nothing new in either genre and settles somewhere in the middle, as a well produced but slightly puzzling mix of horror and popcorn (with explosions). 'Let's go to work' Amorth says when the true extent of his mission is revealed just before the credits roll - presumably meaning there will be 199 sequels.
Raise the Titanic (1980)
LAUNCH HYDRAZINE TANKS!
It's not 'the worst movie ever made'. The spectacle of the rusty Titanic breaking through the waves is genuinely impressive (especially in an age before CGI), the performances from the cast are passable and John Barry's score is apt and stirring. The reason Raise The Titanic bombed so spectacularly is that the story is completely implausible. Clive Cussler started with the pivotal raising sequence that everyone wanted to see and then reverse-engineered a plot to fit around it - resulting in a film where logic, commonsense and even physical laws are ignored. Even if the Bzyanium stored in wooden crates had survived the journey down there (and then another 70 years on the sea floor) all that Pitt's team would have done is simply cut in through the hull with a Navy prototype ROV, pulled it out and floated it up to the surface. They would have never raised the wreck. Even if it had sunk in one piece, all of the funnels would have been gone, the hull would have most likely surfaced upside down, we never actually see the iceberg damage being repaired etc.
It's a fun, nostalgic but ultimately daft film.
Deus (2022)
It's a shame
In the hands of another production team, this could have been quite good. The story isn't bad and the reveal at the end genuinely worth waiting for, but Deus seems too focused upon the character of Karla Grey. Claudia Black holds it all together (even confidently delivering some truly cringeworthy lines) but the significance of other potentially interesting characters like Ulph (who may have originally had a larger role) seems to have been cut or may have just melted away as the script was rewritten. Set designers of sci-fi films - please stop installing cryotubes vertically where the bodies would just slump down to the bottom and having characters emerge from them looking fresh as a daisy (the opening scenes from Alien are a far more realistic take on what would actually happen).
Mad Heidi (2022)
More like this please
Mad Heidi is a simple revenge story set in a world obsessed with dairy products where the lactose intolerant are shunned, publicly humiliated and even taken away to re-education camps and tortured with cheese. This daft film romps away in its own bewildering world of 'Swissploitation' for an undemanding 90mins and is well produced (particularly considering the means of funding) and features good cinematography and fight choreography with strong performances from Alice Lucy and Rebecca Dyson Smith, as the cruel Lutz. Bizarre, absurd and the most original thing that's been along in a while. 'Rest in cheese, b*tch!'
Station Eleven (2021)
How to survive the flupocalypse: become an actor
Despite the obvious plot holes and quite lazy writing in places (simply designed to move characters from one situation to another) it's still a very watchable series. The shortcomings in logic are more than compensated for by good production with strong characters that you actually care about, as well as some very memorable episodes - particularly those set in the airport. Station Eleven is also a welcome break from the repeated theme of zombies and raises a valid question that's hardly ever asked in post-apocalyptic films: What would you actually do for entertainment in a grid-down world? Joining a travelling theatre company may actually be a good idea.
The Last Ship (2014)
Crap TV at its finest
S1 and S2 are stronger (7-8/10) and the production is what you would expect from a TV series, but The Last Ship delivers pretty much everything else you need to keep watching: heroic leaders with perfectly square jaws, evil adversaries (I mean REALLY evil - mwhahahahaa!), characters with names like 'Tex' and 'Wolf' and British actors with unconvincing British accents. Anyone who isn't American is either a terrorist by default or just plain wrong about whatever they think and Adam Baldwin gets all the best lines. The energy seems to peter out from S3 onwards (as does the quality of writing in some particularly unbelievable episodes) and you may even forget that this series is set in a post-apocalyptic, virus-ravaged world as it seems to have many of the same problems we do today: politics, uprisings, military coups etc. Cheesy but action packed - you will definitely be entertained.
Kill List (2011)
Definitely better than a 6.4
Very surprised that the rating for this film has balanced out at 6.4 after twelve years (and that this will only be review no. 310). I don't even like Horror films but rated Kill List at 7-8/10 and fail to see how anyone could turn their nose up to this nasty, gritty little piece of work (many of the most recent reviews are a mystifying 1-3/10). It's psychological horror, rather than gore - although the 'hammer scene' is brutal and by all accounts still a production mystery - and, if the story elements weren't already disturbing enough, the brooding, menacing tension is amplified further by the haunting whistling, original sound design and jump editing style, which adds an intentionally rough edge to an already unpleasant mix. The cast are mostly strong, Neil Maskell powers it through from the first scene and the look on Gal's face in the car when the pair realise exactly what they've got themselves into says it all.
Titanic (1997)
25th Anniversary Review
There are two love stories in this film: the first Romeo and Juliet and the second James Cameron and the ship. Every millisecond is thought through, nothing is compromised and the attention to detail is extraordinary. The holes for each rivet in the hull of the 1/20th model were drilled by hand and actors who actually resembled the 1st Class passengers aboard ate and drank using teacups and cutlery stamped with the White Star Line emblem. The production is a seamless mix of miniatures, practical effects, CGI and actual footage from the wreck site and also genius in terms of saving money if you investigate further. There's nothing wrong with Leonardo DiCaprio's performance but Kate Winslet shines and, combined with the backstory of the search for the necklace, Titanic as a whole is an entertaining and respectful blend of fact and fiction, very well paced and doesn't feel like a 3 hour film. I'm a Titanic buff, so biased - the final few minutes of the ship tearing in two with hundreds of people still clinging to the stern makes me wince every time - but James Cameron's version of the disaster genuinely ticks every box. It's not only the most accurate account of the sinking ever committed to screen, but is still and will probably remain one of the best films ever made.
The Orville (2017)
S3 - What the hell happened?
It's not funny anymore. Not only that, S3 E1 seemed to make a point of deliberately avoiding any comedic material by using murder, hate and suicide as the central theme. Money has obviously been spent on this dark transformation but why? The Orville was a perfectly good Star Trek parody - when they were cruising along through space with milkshakes on the consoles watching TV on the viewscreen and Ed and Kelly arguing in front of aliens! Is there enough room for another 'serious' star trek style space drama anyway? STD and SNW are up and running and if The Orville is now going to be another 'serious' space drama, at least be consistent and follow the rules! There's no way conversations like that would have ever happened between a Captain and an Ensign - or flying target practice allowed in a space port. If this is the future for The Orville, I'm out.
White Wall (2020)
Looking forward to Season 2
The cast, lead and production (and the bleak, unforgiving Swedish climate) are all strong elements, but the thing that made me binge watch most of this series is the 'ramp shaped' storytelling. At first very little happens but as more about the discovery is revealed, White Wall becomes intriguing and mysterious - even including some talk of UFOs - then finally goes full Scooby Doo 'hungh?' when it appears there's some kind of psychic connection between this thing that's been buried in the ground for millions of years and the present day attempts to locate water sources on other planets. And that's exactly where it leaves it for Season 1: The door is now wide open for literally anything else to happen.
Eternals (2021)
The worst Marvel film I've seen
The production is fine, but it's a long, tough and frustrating watch because of the number of plot holes and legitimate questions that won't go away. If the Eternals aren't permitted to interfere with human development, what exactly was their job for thousands of years? They don't DO anything except fight the Deviants (whose origin and purpose is as unclear as everything else). With a timeline of millennia, the writers could have gone deep, gothic or prophetic and linked the Eternals with characters or events from Egyptian, Greek or biblical mythology. If the 'emergence' is directly related to global population numbers, they could have made Thanos' 'snap' THE event that interrupted this process and forced the Eternals into action. Instead of any of this, we are presented with a group of weak, unknown characters who just seem to be aimlessly floating alongside humanity (and the MCU) with no clear, grounded purpose. Add to this lots of dialogue, clunky exposition with only a couple of jokes that land and Eternals is a flat, static wasted opportunity. I could write something more interesting than this using only a set of Tarot cards for inspiration.
Eternals (2021)
The worst Marvel film I've seen
The production is fine, but it's a long, tough and frustrating watch because of the number of plot holes and legitimate questions that won't go away. If the Eternals aren't permitted to interfere with human development, what exactly was their job for thousands of years? They don't DO anything except fight the Deviants (whose origin and purpose is as unclear as everything else). With a timeline of millennia, the writers could have gone deep, gothic or prophetic and linked the Eternals with characters or events from Egyptian, Greek or biblical mythology. If the 'emergence' is directly related to global population numbers, they could have made Thanos' 'snap' THE event that interrupted this process and forced the Eternals into action. Instead of any of this, we are presented with a group of weak, unknown characters who just seem to be aimlessly floating alongside humanity (and the MCU) with no clear, grounded purpose. Add to this lots of dialogue, clunky exposition with only a couple of jokes that land and Eternals is a flat, static wasted opportunity. I could write something more interesting than this using only a set of Tarot cards for inspiration.
Cobra Kai (2018)
A perfectly balanced gem
S1 - Excellent
S2 - Good
S3 - Ok
S4 - Excellent again
This series could never, ever be described as boring. The casting is great (with many of the original Karate Kid actors making a reappearance), there's teenage angst, proms and parties, numerous fight scenes and William Zabka's jaded, bumbling and deeply un-PC Johnny Lawrence is more than enough to keep you watching, But Cobra Kai also isn't afraid to explore more mature and emotive issues. The importance of 'breaking the cycle' of bullying is repeatedly referenced and the true value of balance is made very clear when the teachers and students of rival dojos finally acknowledge that there is no 'one and correct way' of doing anything - and they can learn from each other. There may be criticisms that the story elements of rejection, rivalry and the upcoming tournament are simply being reworked each season and that no one under the age of 45 will understand what all the fuss is about with this brilliant series. The rest of us couldn't care less. Cobra Kai is a much-needed breath of fresh air and roll on Season 5.
Finch (2021)
You know exactly what you're going to get but it doesn't disappoint
When an entire story is written around a single, crucial scene it doesn't always produce brilliant results (Raise The Titanic! For example). It's also possible for a story to borrow too many ideas from similar genre films (in this case I Am Legend, Silent Running, Chappie and WALL-E) and produce something hackneyed and highly predictable. Add to this one of the world's most well-known actors simply reprising a role he's already played in another successful solo-performance film and you'd be forgiven for thinking that you've seen it all before and just scrolling past Finch. If you do, you'll miss an emotionally engaging, very memorable film with top-notch CGI and a plot so simple a child could understand it: A post-apocalyptic survivor knows he's dying and wants to build a robot to take care of his dog. An unavoidable road trip teaches the robot the value of trust and finally leads to the single, crucial scene that may have been the inspiration for the entire story: Jeff the robot playing fetch with Goodyear the dog in a lifeless, scorched wasteland. Minus the zombies and vampires, Finch combines the most well-known elements of post-apocalyptic lore and assembles them into something that will appeal to fans of this genre and a family audience alike.
Star Trek: Discovery (2017)
Giving up after S4 E2
As a life-long trekkie I was genuinely entertained by S1-3 and very impressed by the writers' ability to squeeze new, original (and sometimes better) ideas from a franchise that's already 50 years old. The vast, multi-layered story arcs were intriguing and it was refreshing to see Star Trek literally 'boldly going' in a brave new direction. Even the overly gothic (and somewhat disturbing) Klingon material, the knife in the guts scene and the underwhelming finale to S3 were forgivable. But Star Trek: Discovery is now The Michael Burnham Show (with Star Trek). Whatever experienced hands of guidance were once on the reins have let go, the immature have been put in charge and S4 has a cheap, plastic feel as a result. Starfleet is a fictional organisation but it still has standards which are now being ignored - could you honestly imagine Picard handling a diplomatic mission the way Burnham did in S4 E1? Do you remember Riker scolding La Forge for not standing to attention when delivering an official report? Compare this with Tilly flapping her hands and giggling when she's got a good idea - then everyone talking about their feelings and crying. Maybe the underlying mission to use this beloved franchise as a vehicle for yet more woke politics has finally been accomplished and the writers simply can't be bothered anymore. Whatever has happened, it's a shame that STD and the franchise itself has ended up like this - but as any trekkie will remind you, 'All good things...'
Old (2021)
Another dud
I would genuinely like to start writing more positive reviews for M. Night Shyamalan's films as he can definitely knock out a decent movie when he wants to. But Old is another one that's simply going to disappoint and annoy anyone who keeps giving this guy a second (or third, or fourth) chance. How or why he does it is a mystery, but it's as though Shyamalan takes everything that was left ON the cutting room floor (the worst takes, the weakest performances and the most frustrating camerawork) and makes the film out of that instead. Combine this with an illogical, clunky script delivered by C-list actors, student-level storytelling (with the now 100% predictable 'twist at the end') and Old is just as bad as it is baffling.
Crisis (2021)
Good, but could have taken more risks
The story is mature and cerebral and Crisis has an excellent cast who give great performances, but despite ticking so many boxes - including atmospheric cinematography and good aerial footage too - it still doesn't quite ring the bell at the top and become an impactful or memorable film. The drug dens could have been seedier, the violence gorier, the pharma execs more menacing and the human life v. Profit arguments more volatile. Worth watching but with its alarmist title and dark subject matter you might be expecting more action, anguish and general unpleasantness - and like The Peacemaker, Crisis plays it safe.
Feral State (2020)
Raw, nasty and good
The 0 - 3 reviews seem to be written by people who think that every film must include automatic gunfire, CGI explosions or a car chase. Instead of this, Feral State shows what you can do by investing in the script, characters and camerawork: create intrigue and tension - and any film that keeps you watching until the end deserves 5/10 at least. All of the acting seemed fine to me and Ronnie Gene Blevins convincingly holds the whole thing together as the father figure of not just a gang, but also a community. The idea of bumping off miscreants and burying them in the woods (or just leaving them for the crocs) isn't without its appeal either.
Feral State knows it was never designed to be a Hollywood blockbuster and, just like the similar Deathwell, sensibly snips itself off around the 1h 20min mark - just before you've had enough but when you're curious to know more.