That's what it should be called. Just a series of actors simulating sex and beefing. I watched for 35 minutes before giving up. Hands down makes the list of the top worst movies I've ever wasted time watching.
Reviews
28 Reviews
The AJA Files
18 July 2013
Don Fagen and Walter Becker are the brains behind Steely Dan. They fused pop and jazz to create some of the greatest songs in music history. Formed in the early 70s, Steely Dan was originally a full band that featured singer Michael McDonald and Doobie Brothers' guitarist Jeff "Skunk" Baxter. By their fifth album, Fagen and Becker decided to jettison the live performance concept (and the band( and concentrate purely on songwriting and recording, hiring studio musicians to flesh out the performances.
Classic Albums: Steely Dan's AJA, looks at the bands' most popular album with Top 20 hits from "Peg" and "Deacon Blues". Other cuts such as the title track were also popular and put the album high on AOR status and radio rotation. In this documentary, Fagen and Becker talk about the band's history and the making of AJA. Lots of talking head commentary from studio musicians like sax players Wayne shorter, bassist Chuck Rainey, drummer Bernard Purdie, singer Michael McDonald, guitarist Larry Carlton and other musicians and well as producer Gary Katz and some of the engineers as well as the main men themselves.
It's interesting to see and hear them sit at the recording console and isolate some of the tracks on the original multi-track recording and give interesting trivia on the genesis of the songs. They manage to go over every song except "Home at Last" which they at least play in the closing credits. It's also interesting to note how much of perfectionists Fagen and Becker are. Ever album after their 5th album, Royal Scam took years to release because of their refusal to compromise on their artistic concepts and realization, fretting over every chord, groove and guitar lick to the point of constantly changing musicians until they found the right player.
Classic Albums: Steely Dan's AJA, looks at the bands' most popular album with Top 20 hits from "Peg" and "Deacon Blues". Other cuts such as the title track were also popular and put the album high on AOR status and radio rotation. In this documentary, Fagen and Becker talk about the band's history and the making of AJA. Lots of talking head commentary from studio musicians like sax players Wayne shorter, bassist Chuck Rainey, drummer Bernard Purdie, singer Michael McDonald, guitarist Larry Carlton and other musicians and well as producer Gary Katz and some of the engineers as well as the main men themselves.
It's interesting to see and hear them sit at the recording console and isolate some of the tracks on the original multi-track recording and give interesting trivia on the genesis of the songs. They manage to go over every song except "Home at Last" which they at least play in the closing credits. It's also interesting to note how much of perfectionists Fagen and Becker are. Ever album after their 5th album, Royal Scam took years to release because of their refusal to compromise on their artistic concepts and realization, fretting over every chord, groove and guitar lick to the point of constantly changing musicians until they found the right player.
Shaquille O'Neal Presents: All Star Comedy Jam - Live from Orlando
(2012 TV Special)
Each One Gets Worse and Worse
29 December 2012
This is the fourth volume of Shaquille O'Neal's comedy jam, this time filmed in Orlando, Florida. If you've been keeping track of the episodes, you know that the first comedy jam with host Cedric the Entertainer, the unpredictable Tommy Davidson, impressionist Aries Spears, "around the way" dude DeRay Davis and the now famous Kevin Hart was a major success, all around hilarious and really set the bar high for the series. Unfortunately this series seems to get worse and worse with each new edition. I'd call this volume IV the "B" grade Comedy Jam because none of these guys are really that well-known outside of the urban comedy field (other than SNL's Jay Pharoah) or all that funny. And unlike the previous installments where the host is at least funnier than most of the team, here host Gary Owen seems to come off as weak a link as the lesser known talents here. I mean come on. This is supposed to be an ALL STAR comedy jam. Most of these guys are more like scrubs of comedy.
Gary Owen is that "white guy" comedian who tries to relate to black audiences by pandering rather than being himself like Ray Lipowski or Big Jay Oakerson who are also popular with black audiences and are extremely funny. Owen's schtick is annoying and IMHO, condescending and minstrelsy but he's still a favorite among the Def Jam set, which is surprising because he not funny at all here. In fact, its painful to watch him here try to elicit lukewarm chuckles from the audience who seem to be laughing and applauding more out of courtesy and politeness than entertainment. Trust me, if he had performed this routine on Showtime at the Apollo instead of Shaq's All Star Jam, He would have gotten booed after the first 7 seconds and Sandman or Omar would have chased him off the stage.
After MC Owen's monologue and introduction, "Saturday Night Live" ensemble player Jay Pharoah is first up and provides impressions of rappers and other black celebs but seems to be courting an ass whupping with personal attacks on Jay Z and family and Charles Barkley. Not a smart idea for a guy whose not really even that funny. But his impressions are "dead on" especially his mimicking of Denzel, Eddie Murphy and Bernie Mac. Maybe he should stick to voice-overs after his SNL stint is over.
Lil Duval is kind of a bad boy wanna-be comedian who brings a lot of n-word-isms, foolish ignorance (he wears a sparkly miniature commode on a chain Flava Flav-style) and foul language to the stage. At least he's a little funnier than Pharoah and Owen but he starts to fall short after awhile when his routine collapsed into the same ol' tired urban sex jokes that are funny for about 30 seconds. Nothing really that original.
Next up is Tony Roberts. Roberts has been in the game for awhile now. Has been featured on Def Comedy Jam, ComicView and has had his own HBO special. I didn't know any of this though I had heard his name before. So I went into his routine on Shaq's jam totally unprepared. He was definitely the funniest comedian of the night on this volume. His style was quick and frenetic and he kept his routine fresh by not falling into the trappings of a barrage of curse words or relying totally on sex jokes.
Capone is the veteran of the night. He's also been in the game for awhile and is the best known comic on this night (though Pharaoh is gets more exposure because of his current tenure on SNL). I expected him to be funny. He's got great delivery. Capone was definitely funny but his skit falls short near the end as he descends into overwrought sex talk and telling a tedious story which requires some audience participation in a chant. The history of this series of Shaq's is that the closer is the funniest comic. Well, he wasn't as funny as Roberts but he was still better than the other three.
Gary Owen is that "white guy" comedian who tries to relate to black audiences by pandering rather than being himself like Ray Lipowski or Big Jay Oakerson who are also popular with black audiences and are extremely funny. Owen's schtick is annoying and IMHO, condescending and minstrelsy but he's still a favorite among the Def Jam set, which is surprising because he not funny at all here. In fact, its painful to watch him here try to elicit lukewarm chuckles from the audience who seem to be laughing and applauding more out of courtesy and politeness than entertainment. Trust me, if he had performed this routine on Showtime at the Apollo instead of Shaq's All Star Jam, He would have gotten booed after the first 7 seconds and Sandman or Omar would have chased him off the stage.
After MC Owen's monologue and introduction, "Saturday Night Live" ensemble player Jay Pharoah is first up and provides impressions of rappers and other black celebs but seems to be courting an ass whupping with personal attacks on Jay Z and family and Charles Barkley. Not a smart idea for a guy whose not really even that funny. But his impressions are "dead on" especially his mimicking of Denzel, Eddie Murphy and Bernie Mac. Maybe he should stick to voice-overs after his SNL stint is over.
Lil Duval is kind of a bad boy wanna-be comedian who brings a lot of n-word-isms, foolish ignorance (he wears a sparkly miniature commode on a chain Flava Flav-style) and foul language to the stage. At least he's a little funnier than Pharoah and Owen but he starts to fall short after awhile when his routine collapsed into the same ol' tired urban sex jokes that are funny for about 30 seconds. Nothing really that original.
Next up is Tony Roberts. Roberts has been in the game for awhile now. Has been featured on Def Comedy Jam, ComicView and has had his own HBO special. I didn't know any of this though I had heard his name before. So I went into his routine on Shaq's jam totally unprepared. He was definitely the funniest comedian of the night on this volume. His style was quick and frenetic and he kept his routine fresh by not falling into the trappings of a barrage of curse words or relying totally on sex jokes.
Capone is the veteran of the night. He's also been in the game for awhile and is the best known comic on this night (though Pharaoh is gets more exposure because of his current tenure on SNL). I expected him to be funny. He's got great delivery. Capone was definitely funny but his skit falls short near the end as he descends into overwrought sex talk and telling a tedious story which requires some audience participation in a chant. The history of this series of Shaq's is that the closer is the funniest comic. Well, he wasn't as funny as Roberts but he was still better than the other three.
Kraftwerk and the Electronic Revolution
(2008 Video)
Wir Seien Sie KRAFTWERK
9 August 2012
I've been a fan of Kraftwerk since their hit single "Autobahn" in 1974. In fact, I was living in Germany at the time of it's release. My father was an Air Force man and we were stationed in west Germany for several years during the 70s. Though I thought it was just a simple and musically-unsophisticated song, it was that simplicity and crudeness that drew me in. At that time, I was also experimenting with different musical tastes. I was a Motown and soul kid but some classmates turned me onto Pink Floyd and David Bowie who were at or fast approaching the height of their musical careers. Later by hanging out with some of the locals, I would discover what "krautrock" (German psychedelic and progressive rock) was about.
"Kraftwerk and the Electronic Revolution" gives an intelligent insight into the psychology of German pop music and how German musicians of The Beatles' generation forged their own identity rather than just trying to copy early British pop or American rhythm & blues and rock & roll and went on to influence those cultures as well.
In true German fashion, KER is a very thorough documentary about the legendary German unit and leading figures of the 60s Kraut Rock movement and their rise to the pop charts. KER gives a complete history of German pop from the effects of Beatlemania, the genesis of Krautrock and on to 80s synth-pop and it's influence on modern music. Also well- represented and acknowledged are '50s experimental pioneers Karlheinz Stockhausen and Pierre Schaeffer, psychedelic krautrock bands Can and Amon Duul and space ambient music artists Tangerine Dream, Klaus Schultze and Kluster/Cluster among others important to the movement.
Noticeably absent are the leaders of Kraftwerk, Ralf Hutter and Florian Schneider. Known for being media-inaccessible, it would have been nice to hear their personal insights of their music. Other ex members of the group fill in the blanks best as possible especially former drummer/electronic musician Karl Bartos who is quite candid. Good talking head commentary by music historians and authors as well as musicians Klaus Schultze, Hans Rodelius & Dieter Mobius from Kluster
"Kraftwerk and the Electronic Revolution" gives an intelligent insight into the psychology of German pop music and how German musicians of The Beatles' generation forged their own identity rather than just trying to copy early British pop or American rhythm & blues and rock & roll and went on to influence those cultures as well.
In true German fashion, KER is a very thorough documentary about the legendary German unit and leading figures of the 60s Kraut Rock movement and their rise to the pop charts. KER gives a complete history of German pop from the effects of Beatlemania, the genesis of Krautrock and on to 80s synth-pop and it's influence on modern music. Also well- represented and acknowledged are '50s experimental pioneers Karlheinz Stockhausen and Pierre Schaeffer, psychedelic krautrock bands Can and Amon Duul and space ambient music artists Tangerine Dream, Klaus Schultze and Kluster/Cluster among others important to the movement.
Noticeably absent are the leaders of Kraftwerk, Ralf Hutter and Florian Schneider. Known for being media-inaccessible, it would have been nice to hear their personal insights of their music. Other ex members of the group fill in the blanks best as possible especially former drummer/electronic musician Karl Bartos who is quite candid. Good talking head commentary by music historians and authors as well as musicians Klaus Schultze, Hans Rodelius & Dieter Mobius from Kluster
Malibu High
(1979)
Tarantino Needs to Remake This
14 February 2011
As a teen, I saw this twice at the same drive-in a month after it was shown the first time. I remember the title was High School Hit Girl. I remember being angry that they scammed us into paying for the same movie twice but since the movie was part of triple features I wasn't that mad, (especially since I was with a girl I was hot for the second time.) Amazingly this movie not only had a plot but it made sense too. For a drive in movie, it wasn't bad.
Kim Bentley (Jill Lansing) is a slacker chick whose apathy for school and ambition has turned everyone against her. Her mother is disappointed in her and her boyfriend has dumped her for another girl. She's just happy ditching school and getting high with her air-headed friend, Lucy. One day, her local drug-pusher, Tony makes her a proposition that will make her more money. She becomes a hooker. She also starts sexually propositioning her male teachers in exchange for high grades. Soon she meets another pimp who steals her away from Tony and allows her to keep more of the money she's making as well as cars fancier than any of her teachers can afford. In exchange, in addition to hooking, she also has to become an assassin. All the while, Kim is still carrying a lot of anger for her ex and his new girlfriend.
Jill Lansing is amazing in this movie. She's not only gorgeous with a hot body. She shows more emotion than most actors in better movies. Lansing emotes, anger, apathy, happiness, jealousy, fear, sarcasm, etc. This is actually an enjoyable B movie that you don't mind watching to the end to see how it concludes. You actually care about the characters in this movie, mainly, Kim. Unfortunately, the ending is a big letdown as it just suddenly runs out of steam but it's still worth a look. Regardless, this actually looks like a movie Quentin Tarantino would have a field day recreating as a part of his grindhouse collection with all the hooker and assassin elements.
Kim Bentley (Jill Lansing) is a slacker chick whose apathy for school and ambition has turned everyone against her. Her mother is disappointed in her and her boyfriend has dumped her for another girl. She's just happy ditching school and getting high with her air-headed friend, Lucy. One day, her local drug-pusher, Tony makes her a proposition that will make her more money. She becomes a hooker. She also starts sexually propositioning her male teachers in exchange for high grades. Soon she meets another pimp who steals her away from Tony and allows her to keep more of the money she's making as well as cars fancier than any of her teachers can afford. In exchange, in addition to hooking, she also has to become an assassin. All the while, Kim is still carrying a lot of anger for her ex and his new girlfriend.
Jill Lansing is amazing in this movie. She's not only gorgeous with a hot body. She shows more emotion than most actors in better movies. Lansing emotes, anger, apathy, happiness, jealousy, fear, sarcasm, etc. This is actually an enjoyable B movie that you don't mind watching to the end to see how it concludes. You actually care about the characters in this movie, mainly, Kim. Unfortunately, the ending is a big letdown as it just suddenly runs out of steam but it's still worth a look. Regardless, this actually looks like a movie Quentin Tarantino would have a field day recreating as a part of his grindhouse collection with all the hooker and assassin elements.
Cindy and Donna
(1970)
Classic Drive-in Sexpolitation
14 February 2011
This is the epitome of a drive-in smoker. Back in the day, when I was a teen we used to go to drive-in movies just for a place to hang out. Others went for some family entertainment where they could save money by charging by the carload rather than by the individuals. You usually got to see three movies. Depending on what night you went, you either got some G- rated family movies (one first run movie and two less than mediocre throw-aways), three horror or action movies (same deal) or you got the sexploitation movies that were often one step away from a hard "R" or soft porn flick. Sometimes they were sex comedies but often they were low-budget hippie chick flicks where the actors seemed to take themselves too seriously. Cindy and Donna kind of falls in to the latter. This is more than just some flirtatious fun. This really is nothing short of some classic softcore.
Cindy and Donna Weeks are two teenage half sisters who live with their dysfunctional parents ( a booze hound mother and a lecherous, infidelity-prone father). While Donna is an "experienced" girl marching toward woman-hood with a boyfriend, younger red-haired sis, Cindy is conflicted and hesitant but still curious about sex. She spies on her sister and listens to her best friend, Karen talk about sex. She also spies on her drunken father as one night he falls into bed with her half sister, his stepdaughter, Donna.
Basically there's no real plot that's worth following. It's just these three girls falling into sexual situations to the soundtrack of some "groovy" music (it's hilarious how the script has them drop these hip soundbites of the day like 'far out', 'can you dig it?' and 'I'm hip' every five or ten minutes). The editing is what you'd expect for a low-budget movie from 1970. It's choppy and the film is a little grainy in spots. But this isn't the type of movie you watch for the craftsmanship of filmmaking.
In fact, every female featured in the movie seems to be involved in the liberation of the sexual revolution with even Mrs. Weeks throwing herself at her husband's friends. The younger girls are all gorgeous and have no problem disrobing and one girl dances almost nude for a full 30-40 seconds with the camera ogling her naked body. This reminds me why this is one of my favorite periods. The mini-skirts and dresses these girls wear are so short, they can't even lift their arms without giving a show. And the drug use is in full effect. The girls all smoke pot and mom and dad are drunk-a-holics.
I bought this as part of a set of four exploitation movies. It's ironic that I watched this one last and it turned out to be the best of the set.
Cindy and Donna Weeks are two teenage half sisters who live with their dysfunctional parents ( a booze hound mother and a lecherous, infidelity-prone father). While Donna is an "experienced" girl marching toward woman-hood with a boyfriend, younger red-haired sis, Cindy is conflicted and hesitant but still curious about sex. She spies on her sister and listens to her best friend, Karen talk about sex. She also spies on her drunken father as one night he falls into bed with her half sister, his stepdaughter, Donna.
Basically there's no real plot that's worth following. It's just these three girls falling into sexual situations to the soundtrack of some "groovy" music (it's hilarious how the script has them drop these hip soundbites of the day like 'far out', 'can you dig it?' and 'I'm hip' every five or ten minutes). The editing is what you'd expect for a low-budget movie from 1970. It's choppy and the film is a little grainy in spots. But this isn't the type of movie you watch for the craftsmanship of filmmaking.
In fact, every female featured in the movie seems to be involved in the liberation of the sexual revolution with even Mrs. Weeks throwing herself at her husband's friends. The younger girls are all gorgeous and have no problem disrobing and one girl dances almost nude for a full 30-40 seconds with the camera ogling her naked body. This reminds me why this is one of my favorite periods. The mini-skirts and dresses these girls wear are so short, they can't even lift their arms without giving a show. And the drug use is in full effect. The girls all smoke pot and mom and dad are drunk-a-holics.
I bought this as part of a set of four exploitation movies. It's ironic that I watched this one last and it turned out to be the best of the set.
Mike Epps: Under Rated... Never Faded & X-Rated
(2009 TV Special)
A Major Step Up
20 November 2010
I've been a fan of Mike Epps ever since he made his film debut in Ice Cube's "Next Friday", replacing Chris Tucker's character. Epps has a silly but natural and familiar kind of comedy that reminds you of that goofy member of your posse who's always imitating and mimicking neighborhood folk and archetypes. Epps' comedy is often self-deprecating but always hilarious. And he doesn't spend half of his show telling the same "black/white" race comparison jokes or tired "sex jokes" that a lot of black comics rely heavily on. He covers a wide variety of subjects without losing his audience.
"Underated...Never Faded & X-Rated is a major step up from his HBO special which was great in itself. Here he's playing to a sold out crowd in Detroit covering everything from girlfriends raiding cell phones to dead-on imitations of judges Mathis and Joe Brown. And the results are side-splitting from beginning to end.
"Underated...Never Faded & X-Rated is a major step up from his HBO special which was great in itself. Here he's playing to a sold out crowd in Detroit covering everything from girlfriends raiding cell phones to dead-on imitations of judges Mathis and Joe Brown. And the results are side-splitting from beginning to end.
All Star Comedy Jam: Live from South Beach
(2009 TV Special)
A Poor Follow-Up But Still Worth A Look
3 March 2010
I was excited to see this sequel to the first All Star Comedy Jam featuring host Cedric The Entertainer and produced by NBA great Shaquille O'Neal. In the first line-up that came out last year, Cedric MC'd a quartet of great well-known urban comedians, Tommy Davidson of Living Color, Aries Spears of Mad TV, DeRay Davis whose been featured in movies with Cedric and Soul Plane lead actor Kevin Hart. Each comedian including Cedric took turns brandishing their hilarious brand of humor for a successful outing that never got boring.
This follow up featuring D.L. Hughley as host is another matter all-together. I was really happy when I saw this on the DVD wall at my local Blockbuster. D.L. had been a fave of mine for years though he had kind of fallen off of my radar for telling the same jokes time after time. Not much has changed for D.L. Five years later, he's still telling the exact same jokes for most of his opening set and the few bits of new material he offered weren't funny at all.
Next up was Anez J. I've seen him before but have never been a big fan. No change here either. I didn't laugh once at his routine and I was very offended by his anecdotes about the disabled community. Maybe its just me because apparently he's popular with some people but I don't find him funny.
Next was Melanie Camacho. A very pretty comedienne I've never cared much for. I thought maybe she'd change my mind this time but again, NO CHANGE. Her set was short and her material was very weak and uninspiring. The same tired kind of sex jokes black comediennes seem to tell all the time. Referring to themselves as "ho's" in order to get a sexual punchline across.
I was ready to give up but then, Earthquake came on. Im an Earthquake fan and I was hoping he'd bring some liveliness to the proceedings. He didn't disappoint. His jokes were all fresh. He told maybe one or two things that Id heard him do before but otherwise I thought that he was the one who would save the day on this weak follow-up DVD. Great topics and not a lot of excessive or boring sex or racial jokes. He jumps from topic-to-topic the way D.L. used to in his prime.
Just when I was ready to give Earthquake the crown, here comes LaVell Crawford. I believe Katt Williams was supposed headline this part of the show. There was a controversy involving him accepting money to be part of it then backing out and keeping the money. After seeing Lavell, I really don't miss Katt. I'd seen LaVell before on Comic View. He's a big guy like Bruce Bruce. Most of what I'd seen from him was a lot of fat and food jokes. Very funny but I hadn't seen much from him recently. The fact that they made him the final act was a bit worrisome to me especially since he wasn't as well known and on the first All Star Jam DVD, actor Kevin Hart was the final act and he wasn't as strong an act as a headliner should be though he was still very funny. Let me tell you, on this DVD sequel, LaVell KILLED IT!!! This man is hilarious. I don't think I've laughed so hard in years. His delivery, his topics, delivery and timing were unique and crazy. He talks about a variety of subjects from food to children to the recession. A home run.
Overall this DVD was a bit disappointing but if you jump forward to the final two acts, you'll be richly rewarded with some great side-splitting comedy from Earthquake and LaVell Crawford.
This follow up featuring D.L. Hughley as host is another matter all-together. I was really happy when I saw this on the DVD wall at my local Blockbuster. D.L. had been a fave of mine for years though he had kind of fallen off of my radar for telling the same jokes time after time. Not much has changed for D.L. Five years later, he's still telling the exact same jokes for most of his opening set and the few bits of new material he offered weren't funny at all.
Next up was Anez J. I've seen him before but have never been a big fan. No change here either. I didn't laugh once at his routine and I was very offended by his anecdotes about the disabled community. Maybe its just me because apparently he's popular with some people but I don't find him funny.
Next was Melanie Camacho. A very pretty comedienne I've never cared much for. I thought maybe she'd change my mind this time but again, NO CHANGE. Her set was short and her material was very weak and uninspiring. The same tired kind of sex jokes black comediennes seem to tell all the time. Referring to themselves as "ho's" in order to get a sexual punchline across.
I was ready to give up but then, Earthquake came on. Im an Earthquake fan and I was hoping he'd bring some liveliness to the proceedings. He didn't disappoint. His jokes were all fresh. He told maybe one or two things that Id heard him do before but otherwise I thought that he was the one who would save the day on this weak follow-up DVD. Great topics and not a lot of excessive or boring sex or racial jokes. He jumps from topic-to-topic the way D.L. used to in his prime.
Just when I was ready to give Earthquake the crown, here comes LaVell Crawford. I believe Katt Williams was supposed headline this part of the show. There was a controversy involving him accepting money to be part of it then backing out and keeping the money. After seeing Lavell, I really don't miss Katt. I'd seen LaVell before on Comic View. He's a big guy like Bruce Bruce. Most of what I'd seen from him was a lot of fat and food jokes. Very funny but I hadn't seen much from him recently. The fact that they made him the final act was a bit worrisome to me especially since he wasn't as well known and on the first All Star Jam DVD, actor Kevin Hart was the final act and he wasn't as strong an act as a headliner should be though he was still very funny. Let me tell you, on this DVD sequel, LaVell KILLED IT!!! This man is hilarious. I don't think I've laughed so hard in years. His delivery, his topics, delivery and timing were unique and crazy. He talks about a variety of subjects from food to children to the recession. A home run.
Overall this DVD was a bit disappointing but if you jump forward to the final two acts, you'll be richly rewarded with some great side-splitting comedy from Earthquake and LaVell Crawford.
Saturday Night Special
(1996)
Rival to Saturday Night Live
27 November 2005
This was an after-prime time show produced by Rosanne Barr-Arnold in the mid-90s. Similar but inferior to SNL, it premiered on FOX at the time slot a half hour earlier than SNL, hoping to steal away some of their fans. SNS was a lesson in overkill. Each hour-long ep featured two guest hosts, two musical guests, fly girl-type dancers, Lollapalooza act Jim Rose and his human oddities, and on top of all that would be their version of SNL's "not ready for prime-time" comedy ensemble (actresses like Jennifer Coolidge and Kathy Griffin were featured players). The skits were barely equal to SNL's worst. There were a few good ones and the best were usually dominated by the guest stars like Ben Stiller and Ice T and Tupac Shakur. Rosanne and occasionally, John Goodman would make a few insignificant appearances each episode. On the positive side, the musical performances were always top shelf. D'Angelo, Coolio, Alice in Chains, Patti Smith, Radiohead, Tupac all performed on the show live and kicking better than a lot of SNL's recent safe and "family-friendly" music performances. The show would only last about six or more eps before it went was canceled, joining the graveyard of dozens of other late night comedy/variety shows that have taken on the "emperor of weekend late nite", Saturday Night Live, and lost.
Mission of Justice
(1992 Video)
For die hard martial arts B movie fans only.
17 November 2005
A decent actioner. The story is weak and the acting is pretty lame but the action scenes aren't bad. Wincott's a ex-cop who joins a Guardian Angel-like organization with a more sinister agenda. It's worth a look just for the action. His female cop partner is amazing. She kicks ass like a man. The other female lead is Brigitte Nielson and she's terrible. She wore her welcome out long before the Surreal World and Strange Love. This is like many of Jeff's other movies. Mostly B-movies by independent studios like PM, where many of the productions people where 3 or 4 different hats. There's a scene here similar to the gym scene in WIncott's "Martial Outlaw" where Jeff has to fight through a gauntlet of fighters as an initiation into the Peacekeepers. The best scene in the movie.
Martial Outlaw
(1993 Video)
So popular in Blockbusters, that it never makes it to cable TV.
17 November 2005
This is a video classic. No matter which video store I go into, I can usually find it. The action is non-stop and the stunts are pretty good. Not much in the acting or dramatic department but who cares when the action is this hot. Jeff Wincott (from the Miami Vice knockoff "Night Heat")plays an FBI agent trying to track down a Russian drug kingpin while trying to deal with his ailing ex-cop father and crooked LA cop brother. Wincott's made a name for himself doing these straight-to-video martial arts flicks like Cynthia Rothrock and Don "the Dragon" Wilson. This is his best. Some of the others are "The Last Man Standing" (not the Bruce Willis film) and "Open Fire".
Greg the Bunny
(2005–2006)
Greg's Got a Brand New Bag!!!!
17 November 2005
Somehow, Greg the Bunny creator Dan Milano was able to retain the central characters from the canceled FOX series and strike out on his own on the Independent Film Channel. GtB is a series again now in 15 minutes segments, wedged between animated feature Hopeless Pictures and The Festival. But if you're expecting to see the old GtB with the Sweetknuckle Junction and Eugene Levy, you may be a bit disappointed. This is a different show but no less hilarious. For one thing, only Greg, Warren and Count Blah appear in this new version now. Seth Green makes occasional but rare appearances. Obviously, FOX retains the actual puppets used from the original series, so Greg and company look quite crude and raggedy. The characters speak of the FOX years in the past tense as if they were fired actors. Now they're' actors-for-hire. With an "A Team"-like intro, the premise of the show is spelled out. Each episode is a parody of a cult movie. "Fargo", "2001: A Space Odyssey", "Natural Born Killers", "Auto-Focus" are some of the movies that have been parodied. I'm not sure how long this format will hold but it works.
The other big difference is that because this is on cable, the humor is much more on the raunchy side. Nothing seems to be off-limits. Sex, crude language, violence. This was my greatest fear for this series. The FOX series worked because the envelope was pushed to the limit. A puppet show with adult themes. Since it was a network show, they had a certain threshold. Since it was the maverick FOX, they had a long leash. Unfortunately, FOX became concerned about ratings and the show was canceled. On IFC, anything goes and I was afraid they'd lean on sex and profanity as a crutch, but Greg is still cute and Warren is even more cynical and sarcastic as ever. The profanity is well placed and not too gratuitous. I think this is how Milano originally intended his show to be. Though I still prefer the FOX series, I think this is a great follow-up. Still hilarious, just not everybody's cup of tea.
The other big difference is that because this is on cable, the humor is much more on the raunchy side. Nothing seems to be off-limits. Sex, crude language, violence. This was my greatest fear for this series. The FOX series worked because the envelope was pushed to the limit. A puppet show with adult themes. Since it was a network show, they had a certain threshold. Since it was the maverick FOX, they had a long leash. Unfortunately, FOX became concerned about ratings and the show was canceled. On IFC, anything goes and I was afraid they'd lean on sex and profanity as a crutch, but Greg is still cute and Warren is even more cynical and sarcastic as ever. The profanity is well placed and not too gratuitous. I think this is how Milano originally intended his show to be. Though I still prefer the FOX series, I think this is a great follow-up. Still hilarious, just not everybody's cup of tea.
Deep Rising
(1998)
Now What?
15 February 2005
This exemplifies the marketing catch-phrase "action comedy". Like movies like "Demolition Man", "True Lies", and the "Lethal Weapon" series, "Deep Rising" blends lots of gun play, explosions and even a big creepy monster with hokey one-liners and clever caricatures.
A fly-by-night-for-hire sea merchant (Treat Williams) and crew drives his boat full of mercenary clients and dangerous cargo on stormy South China Seas and happens upon the world's largest luxury liner. When they board they find a bloody mess and must contend with the horror on board.
This is a true roller-coaster ride of fun. The entire cast seems to be having a good time. Treat Williams and especially, Kevin J.O'Conner, as his first mate and mechanic, add a comedic touch that offsets the B-movie plot. Anthony Heald, as the owner of the cruise ship, is his typical neurotic self and is always a hoot. The sexy Famke Jansen: need I say more!! The cast of mercenaries led by Wes Studi, adds lethal Three Stooges humor. The special effects are slightly cartoonish but very well-done and effective.
This movie steals from better horror movies without apology but its all in fun. "Deep Rising" moves fast and seems to throw in the kitchen sink in order to make its point. But it never takes itself too seriously. It leans more toward the humorous. I think they may have been leaning toward a sequel or series with Williams' constant catch-phrase of "now what!!" with every new plot turn. Instead we have to be satisfied with Williams' "The Substitute" series. uugghhh!
A fly-by-night-for-hire sea merchant (Treat Williams) and crew drives his boat full of mercenary clients and dangerous cargo on stormy South China Seas and happens upon the world's largest luxury liner. When they board they find a bloody mess and must contend with the horror on board.
This is a true roller-coaster ride of fun. The entire cast seems to be having a good time. Treat Williams and especially, Kevin J.O'Conner, as his first mate and mechanic, add a comedic touch that offsets the B-movie plot. Anthony Heald, as the owner of the cruise ship, is his typical neurotic self and is always a hoot. The sexy Famke Jansen: need I say more!! The cast of mercenaries led by Wes Studi, adds lethal Three Stooges humor. The special effects are slightly cartoonish but very well-done and effective.
This movie steals from better horror movies without apology but its all in fun. "Deep Rising" moves fast and seems to throw in the kitchen sink in order to make its point. But it never takes itself too seriously. It leans more toward the humorous. I think they may have been leaning toward a sequel or series with Williams' constant catch-phrase of "now what!!" with every new plot turn. Instead we have to be satisfied with Williams' "The Substitute" series. uugghhh!
The Ratings Game
(1984 TV Movie)
Classic Devito
20 January 2005
Hilarious movie reminiscent of Mad TV and SNL mock TV shows. First saw this on cable in the 80s and fell off my chair laughing. This is the kind of stuff Danny Devito does best. Dark, sarcastic humor.
Struggling producer Vic de Salvo (Devito) hatches a scheme to become a big TV star by creating and staring in his own shows and selling them to a struggling network. When he meets and falls in love with Francine, (Rhea Perlman) a woman who works for the Neilson Ratings Beaureau, he uses her knowledge to kidnap the Neilson families and send his mobster crew to "house-sit" for them and tune into his shows.
The mock shows are hilarious and I swear some of them are actually templates for shows that were minor hits later on. This reminds me a little of "Stay Tuned". Well worth a look, though slightly dated. Future "Cheers" stars, Perlman and George Wendt and an early look at Michael Richards ("Seinfeld"'s Kramer).
Struggling producer Vic de Salvo (Devito) hatches a scheme to become a big TV star by creating and staring in his own shows and selling them to a struggling network. When he meets and falls in love with Francine, (Rhea Perlman) a woman who works for the Neilson Ratings Beaureau, he uses her knowledge to kidnap the Neilson families and send his mobster crew to "house-sit" for them and tune into his shows.
The mock shows are hilarious and I swear some of them are actually templates for shows that were minor hits later on. This reminds me a little of "Stay Tuned". Well worth a look, though slightly dated. Future "Cheers" stars, Perlman and George Wendt and an early look at Michael Richards ("Seinfeld"'s Kramer).
Money Train
(1995)
Good Fun, but Just So-so flick.
20 January 2005
Hadn't seen this one before. Somehow it got past my radar. This is the third time Snipes and Harrelson have teamed up. The first was in "Wildcats" with Goldie Hawn back in the 80's. Later it was "White Men Can't Jump". In "Money Train", the combination of the three leads plus the sleazy performance of future prison resident, Robert Blake made this at least halfway enjoyable.
John and Charlie are brothers. Step-brothers to be exact which throws most people for a loop since one's black and the other's white. They're also subway transit cops in NYC working the decoy squad. John (Snipes) is the smooth responsible one. Charlie (Harrelson) is the screw-up with a gambling problem. Most of the movie centers around Charlie's $$$ problems. Enter Officer Grace Santiago (J-Lo). Now the close brothers drift apart over a woman. Add Blake as a sadistic transit authority manager who threatens the brothers' careers.
I'm a big fan of action/comedies like this and others like "True Lies", "Lethal Weapon" I-III and "Demolition Man". This movie is amusing and has some decent action but the plot for the most part is just so-so. The most interesting plot lines seem to just fade out in favor over weaker ones. They should have fed off the comedy elements more. They could have worked the Snipes/Lopez angle, a little more as well. I think Hollywood is still a little skittish about showing real love relationships between minorities. Still, it's worth a look.
Snipes is his usual self, flexing muscles and fighting skills. Woody is less than Woody. Funny but nothing that equals his performances in "Natural Born Killers" or "People vs Larry Flynt". J-Lo in her film debut, is sexy as ever and handles herself well. But Robert Blake is intense. A good return to the big screen in which he goes a bit overboard but remains believable. Too bad it may be a while before we see him in a good role again. Maybe in 15-20.
John and Charlie are brothers. Step-brothers to be exact which throws most people for a loop since one's black and the other's white. They're also subway transit cops in NYC working the decoy squad. John (Snipes) is the smooth responsible one. Charlie (Harrelson) is the screw-up with a gambling problem. Most of the movie centers around Charlie's $$$ problems. Enter Officer Grace Santiago (J-Lo). Now the close brothers drift apart over a woman. Add Blake as a sadistic transit authority manager who threatens the brothers' careers.
I'm a big fan of action/comedies like this and others like "True Lies", "Lethal Weapon" I-III and "Demolition Man". This movie is amusing and has some decent action but the plot for the most part is just so-so. The most interesting plot lines seem to just fade out in favor over weaker ones. They should have fed off the comedy elements more. They could have worked the Snipes/Lopez angle, a little more as well. I think Hollywood is still a little skittish about showing real love relationships between minorities. Still, it's worth a look.
Snipes is his usual self, flexing muscles and fighting skills. Woody is less than Woody. Funny but nothing that equals his performances in "Natural Born Killers" or "People vs Larry Flynt". J-Lo in her film debut, is sexy as ever and handles herself well. But Robert Blake is intense. A good return to the big screen in which he goes a bit overboard but remains believable. Too bad it may be a while before we see him in a good role again. Maybe in 15-20.
Informative but heartbreaking
19 January 2005
Caught this on Sundance last night. A documentary about the march of Vietnam Vets on Lexington, Massachusettes in 1971. Many give testimony about what they did during the war and how they felt about it after. In order to give voice to their protest, they first marched to the White House and then the Washington Memorial. These are reportedly the events where Sen. John Kerry, who we get to see in protest-mode, threw "away" his medals. Then in Lexington, they staged a "mock" of some of their atrocities in 'nam. There's also footage of former Sec. of Defense Robert MacNamara and others.
Backed by music by classical composer Henry Goreki, almost all of the footage comes from war crimes and protests. One gets the feeling that a lot of this is being seen now for the first time, given the sensitivity of the subject matter and the fact that Nixon was in office (a film like "Farenheit 9-11" could never have been made before the end of the Cold War, during an offending president's reign.). The footage of Vietnamese being mistreated is especially upsetting and really hammers home the vets' message. To hear the remorse of many of the soldiers is strong redemption from reluctant participants.
The anti-government message may turn off some, even though this is a film of the times that was obviously made to coincide with the War on Iraq and eerily precedes John Kerry's bid for the presidency.
Backed by music by classical composer Henry Goreki, almost all of the footage comes from war crimes and protests. One gets the feeling that a lot of this is being seen now for the first time, given the sensitivity of the subject matter and the fact that Nixon was in office (a film like "Farenheit 9-11" could never have been made before the end of the Cold War, during an offending president's reign.). The footage of Vietnamese being mistreated is especially upsetting and really hammers home the vets' message. To hear the remorse of many of the soldiers is strong redemption from reluctant participants.
The anti-government message may turn off some, even though this is a film of the times that was obviously made to coincide with the War on Iraq and eerily precedes John Kerry's bid for the presidency.
The Cell
(2000)
Nightmarishly good, but far from perfect.
13 January 2005
Style over substance. But what a style it is. "The Cell" is the internal version of most serial killer movies. Unfortunately, the story hardly supports the visuals.
Psychotherapist Catherine Deane (J-Lo) goes into her patients' dreams via artificial means to discover and help them over come their phobias and obsessions. A new patient whose fallen into a coma, is brought to her attention by the FBI. He's a serial killer who drowns his female victims then poses their bodies in grotesque scenarios like mannequins. Deane must enter the killer's mind and navigate through his sick fantasies in order to find and save his latest victim.
Director Tarsem Singh has incredible visions and set pieces for this production. Each dream sequence is like a nightmare-ish painting in motion, from the landscapes to the costumes.
But the plot suffers from lack of history of its characters. Stargher is the only person with a thorough background and he's the last person you want to care about. Without him, you basically have a movie that moves in the present tense only, which is a shame since the movie is so visually stunning and genuinely scary. Lopez is wasted but she's not that amazing an actress anyway, though she's as gorgeous as ever. And Vince Vaughn? I don't even know why he was chosen. This is not his forte and he overacts to boot. He tried too hard to become his character and it showed. Stick to comedy, Vince! Even so, this movie is so visually frightening, I still watch this movie with the lights on and can never fall asleep right away afterward.
Psychotherapist Catherine Deane (J-Lo) goes into her patients' dreams via artificial means to discover and help them over come their phobias and obsessions. A new patient whose fallen into a coma, is brought to her attention by the FBI. He's a serial killer who drowns his female victims then poses their bodies in grotesque scenarios like mannequins. Deane must enter the killer's mind and navigate through his sick fantasies in order to find and save his latest victim.
Director Tarsem Singh has incredible visions and set pieces for this production. Each dream sequence is like a nightmare-ish painting in motion, from the landscapes to the costumes.
But the plot suffers from lack of history of its characters. Stargher is the only person with a thorough background and he's the last person you want to care about. Without him, you basically have a movie that moves in the present tense only, which is a shame since the movie is so visually stunning and genuinely scary. Lopez is wasted but she's not that amazing an actress anyway, though she's as gorgeous as ever. And Vince Vaughn? I don't even know why he was chosen. This is not his forte and he overacts to boot. He tried too hard to become his character and it showed. Stick to comedy, Vince! Even so, this movie is so visually frightening, I still watch this movie with the lights on and can never fall asleep right away afterward.
Greg the Bunny
(2002–2004)
Hilarious but not for kids.
12 January 2005
Excellent but short-lived cancelled series from FOX network, "Greg the Bunny" is hilarious and makes you wonder why it wasn't picked up by the Comedy Channel.
Set in a world where puppets are considered a race, Greg is a rabbit puppet who lives with his human pal, Jimmy (Seth Green) who gets him a job on a kids' TV show where his father (Eugene Levy) is a director. The cast of the TV show includes a prima donna ape puppet, a Count Dracula-like puppet with a speech impediment, as well as other humans and puppets. The main theme is that everyone involved humans and puppets alike, have their own personal problems and quirks.
The show is a riot especially characters like , Warren D'Montague, the thespian ape with a host of vices and the surly Junction Jack who acts like a friendly Mr. Greenjeans before the camera but has a cigarette and a griping attitude as soon as the director yells "cut".
Even though shows like "The Simpsons" have been able to break the boundaries between adult and children's viewing, it's impossible to market a show like this on network TV without pointing toward children. Adults would never go for an adult puppet show. They're much too self-conscious and hypocritical to allow themselves the pleasure. However, be warned: despite it's Sesame Street references, this show is not for kids. There are way too many references to sex, drugs and alcohol, race and violence for this to be geared toward kids. It's obvious why this show was canceled by even the maverick network, FOX. Network TV could never sustain a show this unmarketable. Try to show it to kids and their parents will complain about the adult content. But adults would never give it a chance cuz it visually resembles a kid show. Kind of a Catch-22. This is the type of thing that could have gone farther on cable. Comedy Channel, Spike TV, MTV, even. Check out the DVD. All the filmed eps are there including 2 never aired. Funny stuff! Guest shots by Gary Oldman, Marilu Henner and Corey Feldman.
Set in a world where puppets are considered a race, Greg is a rabbit puppet who lives with his human pal, Jimmy (Seth Green) who gets him a job on a kids' TV show where his father (Eugene Levy) is a director. The cast of the TV show includes a prima donna ape puppet, a Count Dracula-like puppet with a speech impediment, as well as other humans and puppets. The main theme is that everyone involved humans and puppets alike, have their own personal problems and quirks.
The show is a riot especially characters like , Warren D'Montague, the thespian ape with a host of vices and the surly Junction Jack who acts like a friendly Mr. Greenjeans before the camera but has a cigarette and a griping attitude as soon as the director yells "cut".
Even though shows like "The Simpsons" have been able to break the boundaries between adult and children's viewing, it's impossible to market a show like this on network TV without pointing toward children. Adults would never go for an adult puppet show. They're much too self-conscious and hypocritical to allow themselves the pleasure. However, be warned: despite it's Sesame Street references, this show is not for kids. There are way too many references to sex, drugs and alcohol, race and violence for this to be geared toward kids. It's obvious why this show was canceled by even the maverick network, FOX. Network TV could never sustain a show this unmarketable. Try to show it to kids and their parents will complain about the adult content. But adults would never give it a chance cuz it visually resembles a kid show. Kind of a Catch-22. This is the type of thing that could have gone farther on cable. Comedy Channel, Spike TV, MTV, even. Check out the DVD. All the filmed eps are there including 2 never aired. Funny stuff! Guest shots by Gary Oldman, Marilu Henner and Corey Feldman.
Millennium
(I) (1996–1999)
Don't watch it alone
12 January 2005
If you're interested in ground-breaking, edgy network TV, look no further than "MillenniuM". Chris Carter followed up the always excellent X-Files series with a dark look at humanity through the eyes of an FBI profiler.
Frank Black is a former FBI agent/profiler with a "gift" for seeing a crime through the perpetrator's eyes. Moving his family to Seattle, he is contacted by The Millennium Group: a group of former agents, law enforcement, scientists, scholars, etc. who work together to combat the evil forces of the impending Millennium (this series took place in the mid-90s) as told by philosophers and prophets like Nostadamus and Crowley and events chronicled in Revelations and other religious sources. Frank is pulled into a world where the suspects are working as judge, jury and executioner and sometimes are being manipulated by other forces. Working with both the local police and the group, Frank struggles to find the answers, solve the crimes, protect his family and keep his sanity.
This is top-notched TV. Dark, deep and insightful. The images are sometimes horrific and this show really pushed the limits of network television. In fact, the producers tried to lighten the show for the second season because S1 was so gloomy. Unfortunately, this show was cut short after only 3 seasons, but FOX is releasing all 3 on DVD. S1 is the darkest of the three and you'll see many of the same actors Chris Carter uses on The X-Files. The quality of MillenniuM is also the same but much darker in tone. No comic touches here in the first season. All deadly serious. The show is popular in the UK and Europe and there is talk of a resurgence of sorts. Maybe even a movie. See the DVDs so you can keep up.
Frank Black is a former FBI agent/profiler with a "gift" for seeing a crime through the perpetrator's eyes. Moving his family to Seattle, he is contacted by The Millennium Group: a group of former agents, law enforcement, scientists, scholars, etc. who work together to combat the evil forces of the impending Millennium (this series took place in the mid-90s) as told by philosophers and prophets like Nostadamus and Crowley and events chronicled in Revelations and other religious sources. Frank is pulled into a world where the suspects are working as judge, jury and executioner and sometimes are being manipulated by other forces. Working with both the local police and the group, Frank struggles to find the answers, solve the crimes, protect his family and keep his sanity.
This is top-notched TV. Dark, deep and insightful. The images are sometimes horrific and this show really pushed the limits of network television. In fact, the producers tried to lighten the show for the second season because S1 was so gloomy. Unfortunately, this show was cut short after only 3 seasons, but FOX is releasing all 3 on DVD. S1 is the darkest of the three and you'll see many of the same actors Chris Carter uses on The X-Files. The quality of MillenniuM is also the same but much darker in tone. No comic touches here in the first season. All deadly serious. The show is popular in the UK and Europe and there is talk of a resurgence of sorts. Maybe even a movie. See the DVDs so you can keep up.
Blade: Trinity
(2004)
The Third Time Ain't the Charm.
15 December 2004
I saw this disaster today and was totally disappointed. Once I heard that writer David S. Goyer would be taking over the directing chores, knew we were in trouble. It's like putting in a rookie quarterback, at the height of a teams winning season. Granted, "Blade 2" was to "Blade" as "Matrix Reloaded" was to "The Matrix", but both franchises were still in full swing. And now we have, Blade's version of "The Matrix Revolutions" (at least "Revolutions" had a cool battle scene). Hey, Goyer! Stick to script-writing or practice directing straight-to-video releases. You ain't ready for the big leagues yet. How could you screw this up? This movie should have written itself. There were so many better plots.
It's starts off with a group of vampires searching in the Middle East for the Supreme Being that they all sprang from. They figure he can help them destroy Blade and give them all the ability to be "daywalkers". Meanwhile, Blade is set-up in an ambush where he's taped killing a human who he thinks is a vampire, making him Public Enemy No. 1. The plot stinks and more so, when you consider the original plot was to have the world already taken over by vampires.
Who cast this thing? Who called Triple H??? We all know wrestlers cant' act. The Rock is the best they have and look at him. What about the rest of them? Hulk Hogan? Roddy Piper? Jesse Ventura? nuff said!! Parker Posey is sexy and looks the part but but she's terribly miscast. And what about the primo himself? Dominic Purcell? I remember him from FOX's "John Doe" but who in Sam Hill figured he'd be a decent Dracula? Bad enuff, he's not even scary but then he doesn't even reflect as an authority figure. And Ryan Reynolds...he was funny but he just didn't seem to fit. He was just comedy relief. But he wasn't that funny. His stuff ran thin pretty quick to the point of being annoying. Meanwhile, talent like Natasha Lyonne were wasted.
Then the plot zigs and zags from one subplot before it's even halfway resolved to the next. Why wasn't there a big tender scene where Blade tells Abigail that her father had been killed? Why didn't they play off of the "murder set-up" angle? Get the unsuspecting humans involved in the witch hunt more. It just seemed everyone was in on it because it was simply vampires and familiars. Gee, it was nice that they cared enuff to squeeze in some quick bio info on Abigail and Hannibal. I guess they wanted to set us up for the Nightstalkers spin-off, if it ever happens. (Aren't we tired of vampires and hit men movies yet?)
The action scenes barely made sense. Blade (Wesley Snipes) barely cuts loose until the end. He basically stands and poses through the whole movie.
How is it a human like King is able to fight a vampire (and a buff one like Triple H) and almost match him strength-wise. And shouldn't Blade have had more trouble with the Supreme One? He got a better ass-kicking from Nomak.
All-in-all, this inferior flick ruins the franchise. (I think Kristofferson was happy to bow out early and I'm sure Wesley's finished with it, too). As usual in sequels, the third time ain't the charm. (Alien, The Matrix, Die Hard). I hope they don't screw up the next X-Men, Shrek or Spiderman movies.
It's starts off with a group of vampires searching in the Middle East for the Supreme Being that they all sprang from. They figure he can help them destroy Blade and give them all the ability to be "daywalkers". Meanwhile, Blade is set-up in an ambush where he's taped killing a human who he thinks is a vampire, making him Public Enemy No. 1. The plot stinks and more so, when you consider the original plot was to have the world already taken over by vampires.
Who cast this thing? Who called Triple H??? We all know wrestlers cant' act. The Rock is the best they have and look at him. What about the rest of them? Hulk Hogan? Roddy Piper? Jesse Ventura? nuff said!! Parker Posey is sexy and looks the part but but she's terribly miscast. And what about the primo himself? Dominic Purcell? I remember him from FOX's "John Doe" but who in Sam Hill figured he'd be a decent Dracula? Bad enuff, he's not even scary but then he doesn't even reflect as an authority figure. And Ryan Reynolds...he was funny but he just didn't seem to fit. He was just comedy relief. But he wasn't that funny. His stuff ran thin pretty quick to the point of being annoying. Meanwhile, talent like Natasha Lyonne were wasted.
Then the plot zigs and zags from one subplot before it's even halfway resolved to the next. Why wasn't there a big tender scene where Blade tells Abigail that her father had been killed? Why didn't they play off of the "murder set-up" angle? Get the unsuspecting humans involved in the witch hunt more. It just seemed everyone was in on it because it was simply vampires and familiars. Gee, it was nice that they cared enuff to squeeze in some quick bio info on Abigail and Hannibal. I guess they wanted to set us up for the Nightstalkers spin-off, if it ever happens. (Aren't we tired of vampires and hit men movies yet?)
The action scenes barely made sense. Blade (Wesley Snipes) barely cuts loose until the end. He basically stands and poses through the whole movie.
How is it a human like King is able to fight a vampire (and a buff one like Triple H) and almost match him strength-wise. And shouldn't Blade have had more trouble with the Supreme One? He got a better ass-kicking from Nomak.
All-in-all, this inferior flick ruins the franchise. (I think Kristofferson was happy to bow out early and I'm sure Wesley's finished with it, too). As usual in sequels, the third time ain't the charm. (Alien, The Matrix, Die Hard). I hope they don't screw up the next X-Men, Shrek or Spiderman movies.
SpiderBabe
(2003 Video)
Better than Peter Parker
15 December 2004
This was a pleasant surprise. I caught it on cable one night and I figured it was what it turned out to be: soft-core porn. But it was much better than the usual "Red Shoe Diary" crap. It looked like a fun, sexy low-budget movie. Very Troma-like with flashes of comedy.
It followed the "Spiderman" story on the surface but Spidey never looked this hot! All the girls involved are sexy hot!! Misty Mundae and Julian Wells are phenomenal as well as Darian Caine. Lots of sex. But it's to the girls' advantage and not needlessly demeaning. My girlfriend and I have watched it several times and it seems to get sexier every time. I'm not ashamed to admit that I watch this kind of stuff. I've even heard other people at my office talking about it. I hope there's a sequel. NOT FOR KIDS!!!!!!
It followed the "Spiderman" story on the surface but Spidey never looked this hot! All the girls involved are sexy hot!! Misty Mundae and Julian Wells are phenomenal as well as Darian Caine. Lots of sex. But it's to the girls' advantage and not needlessly demeaning. My girlfriend and I have watched it several times and it seems to get sexier every time. I'm not ashamed to admit that I watch this kind of stuff. I've even heard other people at my office talking about it. I hope there's a sequel. NOT FOR KIDS!!!!!!
East Is East
(1999)
A different side of England
15 December 2004
I wish there were more movies about the different cultures in the UK. Not just the Anglo, but the Asian and West Indian perspectives. Even the Southeast Asian view. The Middle Easterners have shown great strides with movies like "Bend It Like Beckham" and a few others. This movie got away from me until recently. I saw in the library video section and decided to check it out. The box is very misleading. They put a young interracial couple, front and center on the cover when actually their subplot is very peripheral to the story. I guess the movie studio figured they'd get a wider audience interested with younger faces on the cover since the main characters look to be in their 50s.
George Khan (Om Puri) has left his native Pakistan to live in the UK with its soveriegnty ties. Though he has a wife back in his homeland (she is only mentioned, not seen), he marries a white Englishwoman, Ella (Lynda Bassett). They have 7 kids: 6 boys and 1 girl. Flash forward to the late 60s (where the movie actually begins) and we see his kids are truly English in behavior though he stresses that they must go to Mosque to study and worship. His oldest is to be wed in an arranged marriage to a woman he hardly knows. He runs out in the middle of the ceremony in fear, embarrassing his family especially his father who disowns him. This sets the tone of the movie. His kids are English-born and want to live like their friends in their working-class neighborhood but George wants to raise them as traditional Muslims, despite opposition from his wife, Ella, who only wants the kids to be happy. She tries to help them avoid run-ins with their father who despite his cheerfulness is quite an ogre when angered. The kids range in attitude and indifference toward George's attempts to introduce them to the traditional ways.
This is a decent introduction to immigrant life in the UK especially since it's set during a time when there was political strife over immigration of non-whites into Britain. Though it's an effective comedy, it also touches on the frustration immigrants of any culture go through to hold onto or reject their identity. The only thing marring this movie is a domestic violence scene that may bother some. Still a very good movie worth seeing.
George Khan (Om Puri) has left his native Pakistan to live in the UK with its soveriegnty ties. Though he has a wife back in his homeland (she is only mentioned, not seen), he marries a white Englishwoman, Ella (Lynda Bassett). They have 7 kids: 6 boys and 1 girl. Flash forward to the late 60s (where the movie actually begins) and we see his kids are truly English in behavior though he stresses that they must go to Mosque to study and worship. His oldest is to be wed in an arranged marriage to a woman he hardly knows. He runs out in the middle of the ceremony in fear, embarrassing his family especially his father who disowns him. This sets the tone of the movie. His kids are English-born and want to live like their friends in their working-class neighborhood but George wants to raise them as traditional Muslims, despite opposition from his wife, Ella, who only wants the kids to be happy. She tries to help them avoid run-ins with their father who despite his cheerfulness is quite an ogre when angered. The kids range in attitude and indifference toward George's attempts to introduce them to the traditional ways.
This is a decent introduction to immigrant life in the UK especially since it's set during a time when there was political strife over immigration of non-whites into Britain. Though it's an effective comedy, it also touches on the frustration immigrants of any culture go through to hold onto or reject their identity. The only thing marring this movie is a domestic violence scene that may bother some. Still a very good movie worth seeing.
Brotherhood of the Wolf
(2001)
A Fantastic HodgePodge
15 December 2004
This is the type of movie that gets the common man into the art houses. I was surprised by the previews and even more to find out I had to go to the artsy theatres to see it. Imagine this mutt of a movie. On one side: at least 3 hours long, period piece and in French with subtitles. On the other side: a vicious CGI beast, gratuitous violence and martial arts. Co-existing within each other like a Reese's Cups. Somehow, it manages to work, though it's still pretty sublime like one of Aesop's Fables for adults.
Loosely based on a true story about a killer wolf in 19 century France, BOTW is a mess of a movie that works best as schlock. Don't get too bogged down by the accuracy of the period, costumes or the acting. This is pure B-movie territory in "drag". Liberties are obviously taken but those 3 hours seem to glide by. Like "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", the subtitles go down easy and don't seem to get in the way of the story or the action. Unless your still at a 5th grade reading level.
Fronsac (Samuel Le Bihan) and his Native American assistant, Mani (Mark Dacascos) are naturalists called upon to help capture and slay the beast only to find out that this is no mere wolf and there's more to the attacks than just predatory actions. There's also a "brotherhood" of crooked politicians with a hidden agenda.
Le Bihan (looking like a tamer David Lee Roth) is a charmer. Instead of a geeky, Jim Fowler-type, he plays his role of naturalist like a lady killer, later becoming a badass when the need to avenge a friend comes out.
Dacascos is the real showstopper. Playing a mostly quiet Indian, his scene-stealing martial arts make this movie worth seeing. The son of a world-renowned martial arts instructor, Dacascos has been starring in his own straight-to-video releases for over 10 years now including one of the Kickboxer sequels and the slick Jackie Chan-like "Drive", his best. (he was recently in the JetLi/DMX vehicle, "Cradle 2 the Grave" as the main villain). Why he isn't as big a star as Jet Li, is beyond me. His acting skills are far superior than most martial arts movie stars and he's got movie star looks.
The husband and wife team of Vincent Cassel ("le Haine") and Monica Belluci ("The Matrix Reloaded") also star as the son of the emperor and a mysterious woman living in a brothel, respectively.
Check out the DVD. One deleted scene is especially cool: In the beginning of the theatrical version when we first encounter Fronsac and Mani, they come upon a girl being attacked by a group of bandits. Mani gets off his horse and introduces his fighting skills. The deleted scene shows that originally, both Fronsac and Mani were supposed to be involved and the scene is much longer but Fronsac's part was cut but it's included in its entirety.
Loosely based on a true story about a killer wolf in 19 century France, BOTW is a mess of a movie that works best as schlock. Don't get too bogged down by the accuracy of the period, costumes or the acting. This is pure B-movie territory in "drag". Liberties are obviously taken but those 3 hours seem to glide by. Like "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon", the subtitles go down easy and don't seem to get in the way of the story or the action. Unless your still at a 5th grade reading level.
Fronsac (Samuel Le Bihan) and his Native American assistant, Mani (Mark Dacascos) are naturalists called upon to help capture and slay the beast only to find out that this is no mere wolf and there's more to the attacks than just predatory actions. There's also a "brotherhood" of crooked politicians with a hidden agenda.
Le Bihan (looking like a tamer David Lee Roth) is a charmer. Instead of a geeky, Jim Fowler-type, he plays his role of naturalist like a lady killer, later becoming a badass when the need to avenge a friend comes out.
Dacascos is the real showstopper. Playing a mostly quiet Indian, his scene-stealing martial arts make this movie worth seeing. The son of a world-renowned martial arts instructor, Dacascos has been starring in his own straight-to-video releases for over 10 years now including one of the Kickboxer sequels and the slick Jackie Chan-like "Drive", his best. (he was recently in the JetLi/DMX vehicle, "Cradle 2 the Grave" as the main villain). Why he isn't as big a star as Jet Li, is beyond me. His acting skills are far superior than most martial arts movie stars and he's got movie star looks.
The husband and wife team of Vincent Cassel ("le Haine") and Monica Belluci ("The Matrix Reloaded") also star as the son of the emperor and a mysterious woman living in a brothel, respectively.
Check out the DVD. One deleted scene is especially cool: In the beginning of the theatrical version when we first encounter Fronsac and Mani, they come upon a girl being attacked by a group of bandits. Mani gets off his horse and introduces his fighting skills. The deleted scene shows that originally, both Fronsac and Mani were supposed to be involved and the scene is much longer but Fronsac's part was cut but it's included in its entirety.
Drive
(1997)
Roller-coaster Ride
29 November 2004
A totally fun movie from beginning to end, Jackie. Mark Dacascos' best starring role. He plays Toby Wong, an experimental patient with a hyper drive piece of equipment in his body. He goes renegade from his keepers in Asia and stows away on a boat to San Francisco to meet with some American buyers who will pay $5 mil for the device. While on the run, he meets Malik (Kadeem Hardison), a down-on-his-luck songwriter and "kidnaps" him as a ride to escape the now-descending baddies.
This qualifies as an action-comedy: the stuff of Jackie Chan, Arnold S. and some Stallone ("Demolition Man" and "Tango and Cash"). Hardison supplies the comedy spouting comical lines even getting the usually serious Dacascos in on the fun. The sexy Brittany Murphy, (who looks like a skinny crackwhore junkie in recent movies like "8 Mile" and "Just Married"), looks like a hottie as a vixen-ish brunette, co-stars as a motel manager who adds some cute and funny scenes.
But it's Dacascos' action scenes that make this movie amazing. The son of a world renowned martial arts instructor, Dacascos is obviously one of his father's best pupil. His skills are legitimate and the choreography is a ballet of swinging fists and flying kicks. In one scene, he does a backflip from a second story balcony onto the ground below. This is done in one shot and he turns toward the camera in such a way as to prove this is no stunt double. Though it does boast wire work, "Drive" is pure entertainment in the mode of some of Jackie Chan's best work. Dacoscos even drops Sammo Hung's name when being questioned by the police.
This qualifies as an action-comedy: the stuff of Jackie Chan, Arnold S. and some Stallone ("Demolition Man" and "Tango and Cash"). Hardison supplies the comedy spouting comical lines even getting the usually serious Dacascos in on the fun. The sexy Brittany Murphy, (who looks like a skinny crackwhore junkie in recent movies like "8 Mile" and "Just Married"), looks like a hottie as a vixen-ish brunette, co-stars as a motel manager who adds some cute and funny scenes.
But it's Dacascos' action scenes that make this movie amazing. The son of a world renowned martial arts instructor, Dacascos is obviously one of his father's best pupil. His skills are legitimate and the choreography is a ballet of swinging fists and flying kicks. In one scene, he does a backflip from a second story balcony onto the ground below. This is done in one shot and he turns toward the camera in such a way as to prove this is no stunt double. Though it does boast wire work, "Drive" is pure entertainment in the mode of some of Jackie Chan's best work. Dacoscos even drops Sammo Hung's name when being questioned by the police.
Timecop: The Berlin Decision
(2003 Video)
A Very Good but Unexpected Sequel
29 November 2004
I expected to see a sequel to this, Jean Claude Van Damme's best movie, years ago. When I saw the box to this video, I was suspicious at first. Now I recommend it to everyone who enjoyed the original. "Time Cop 2" is just as good. The story is even better.
Jason Scott Lee, who's been absent for some time now, plays Ryan Chan, a time cop who takes his job seriously when he's not flirting with the TEC female doctor. While chasing down a time criminal in WWII Germany, one of his fellow operatives, Miller (Thomas Ian Griffith) sees an opportunity to kill Hitler. Mindful of the ramifications of altering the past, Chan stops Miller. Miller's wife , another operative is killed during the melee. Insane with grief, Miller turns renegede and is intent on wiping out Chan's existence by time jumping and killing his ancestors.
The production value is excellent for a straight-to-video release and the fight action scenes are well-done (Lee and Griffith are well-trained martial artists who have a few genre movies under their belts).
Jason Scott Lee, who's been absent for some time now, plays Ryan Chan, a time cop who takes his job seriously when he's not flirting with the TEC female doctor. While chasing down a time criminal in WWII Germany, one of his fellow operatives, Miller (Thomas Ian Griffith) sees an opportunity to kill Hitler. Mindful of the ramifications of altering the past, Chan stops Miller. Miller's wife , another operative is killed during the melee. Insane with grief, Miller turns renegede and is intent on wiping out Chan's existence by time jumping and killing his ancestors.
The production value is excellent for a straight-to-video release and the fight action scenes are well-done (Lee and Griffith are well-trained martial artists who have a few genre movies under their belts).
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