Rocketeer_Raccoon Reviews

Creature (1985)

Actually not bad for an Alien clone

[6/10 · 4 February 2017]

I notice that a lot of people criticise the film by blatantly copying Alien but I say so what, for what it was I thought it was alright, I was never bored of the film and it did have an interesting plot. The film did make me laugh with how the doors sound in the film, the doors sounds like blaster firing from Star Wars so I thought that was definitely funny in a good way.

However I did find two problems with this film, the first problem I found was that the Alien creature was very under-used, it didn't really appear much until the final act of the film so that was a wasted opportunity. The second problem is that the story and some scenes were a bit ropey, and there's some things I find a bit baffling in it but not to the point of being obnoxious.

Even though people have discarded this film just because it's a low budget Alien clone but I say give it a chance because it's really not that bad.

Crossroads (I) (2002)

A completely forgettable film

[1/10 · 17 January 2017]

It was a long time ago since I saw this and all I remember was how bored out of my mind I was having to watch this film in the cinema along with a cousin of mine who is a girl. For what I can recall as I vaguely remember it, the story was all over the place, actually it was more like a film about "nothing". You got these 3 friends (Britney included) going on a road trip together (I know I'm just reading off from the plot lines here) and then they come across this guy who is your typical handsome guy at which point is where the film becomes a load of nonsense with nothing interesting happening, this is where the film pretty much gives up trying to be a movie and goes into soap opera territory but is worse.

What I actually find most baffling is that this film is supposed to be a "romantic comedy" film yet there was nothing in this film that was remotely funny. And Britney Spears thought she could have a good crack at movie acting, huh, I don't think so.

Although I don't remember everything from the film since it was years ago since I last saw the film, but then again why would you want to remember an awful movie like this? Really bad movies such as this are best left buried away from the mind to be made forgotten forever.

Child 44 (2015)

Too depressing and awful

[1/10 · 7 January 2017]

So this is how Russia was like during the days of the USSR, just absolutely horrible all with a broken law system and having absolutely no freedom.

The film itself was too awfully depressing and sad in a grim way, all this just made the film incredibly dull. There was absolutely no sense of nice things to come, just more bad news and the story was far too incredibly hard and confusing to follow.

I just didn't like this film despite this film having good talented actors like Gary Oldman. Most of the film was simply too boring and uninteresting.

I would seriously recommend everyone to avoid this film, a film this boring and hard to follow is not worth watching.

Chain Reaction (1996)

The Plain Reaction

[5/10 · 26 August 2016]

Considering that this film was directed by Andrew Davis who before this directed the hit film the Fugitive (1993), you would have thought he ought to put a lot of effort to making Chain Reaction to be just as great as the Fugitive. Unfortunately Chain Reaction just comes off as being a very plain mediocre film. When I originally first saw this film I had no clue what it was about but now since seeing it with a better perspective I now know what it's about, I suppose the story in this does work well but this film does have it's problems, I'm not saying this film is bad as it's watchable but it's very plain.

The first problem in this film that comes to my mind is the music soundtrack, oh my gosh, talk about the wrong type of music for your film. Having the right music for your film is extremely important and the people that were behind the films musical design got it all completely wrong. In hindsight this is a chase film where the hero is wrongly accused of something he didn't do and is being chased by the police, but the scenes themselves are just "plain" and could have been better. I know I keep using the word plain but when I say this I don't mean it in a bad way, like I said the story does work well.

Overall conclusion, it's a mediocre action film that's not bad but it's it's just...well...plain.

The VVitch: A New-England Folktale (2015)

Good but severely lacking

[6/10 · 25 July 2016]

The Witch is a prime example of a film that has a great concept for a story but it fails at delivering all the key ingredients that could have made this film a lot better than it is.

The things that are wrong with this film are that it focuses too much with drama, not a lot of things happen, the film is 30 minutes too short and of course the most important ingredient that this film didn't include enough of, it didn't have enough Horror to it.

Don't get me wrong, I liked the general story concept of a family in 1630's New England that have forced themselves into exile to the wilderness and are being torn apart by witchcraft and the characters in the film work quite well but that's about it, I mean it's not a bad film but everything else just drags it down into being a forgettable film. If I were to fix the films problems, then The Witch could have been a fantastic Horror film instead of being a let down that it is.

RoboCop 3 (1993)

*Rolling on floor laughing*

[3/10 · 17 June 2016]

*While laughing* *What the hell?* lol. What did I just watch? XD

OK, all seriousness now, although this film does have an interesting story but how the film was executed is terrible. Quite simply you've got Japanese ninja cyborgs making funny faces, RoboCop allowing himself to get attacked like a rag doll and a kid that has a super computer that can hack into all sorts of high tech stuff, jeez. I do vaguely remember seeing this film years ago back when the film was new to rent on VHS but back then I didn't know the film was this bad, don't get me wrong the only thing this film got right was the story but one other sad thing about this film is that the violence in the film was drastically toned down and with the such elements I've previously mentioned, all of it made the film look silly and it is no wonder they never made another RoboCop film after that until the 2014 remake but I don't consider that one a real RoboCop film. Had the film been in better hands and retained itself as an R rated property then this could have been a great film but it just wasn't, instead it's quite possibly one of the worst movie sequels ever. This film was pretty much the death of the real RoboCop, what a real shame. :(

RoboCop 2 (1990)

Not too bad for a sequel

[6/10 · 8 May 2016]

I've only remember seeing bits of this film when I was younger but I don't remember seeing this film in it's entirety and now that I have seen it in full, I think it's a OK film, it's not too bad of a sequel.

The action and the special effects actually were quite good, the movie made good use of mainly animatronics and stop motion techniques which were common use for the time period this came out.

Like any action film it has lots of violence, gun shooting and explosions. Although it's perhaps not as memorable as the first film but it does try to be as good I guess.

Not too bad I say.

*batteries not included (1987)

Could have done with batteries...

[4/10 · 6 May 2016]

I remember seeing this film a long time ago as a kid, however I didn't like it back then because the old woman in this film annoyed me. It had been years since I had last seen this film and my memory of it was very rusty so I thought I give it a new watch now to refresh my memory, and to see if my opinion of the film has changed. Unfortunately I still don't like this film and I wasn't very impressed with it, to me it felt like it dragged on a bit and became boring, and I still hated the old woman. Like a typical old woman she has dementia (memory loss) but what's even more jarring is how does she know what the alien robots eat? I think the film could have done with more comedy because there hardly was much in the film. Overall it's not a terrible film but it feels poor and it could have been done a lot better.

The Revenant (I) (2015)

It's good but not amazing.

[7/10 · 23 January 2016]

Honestly I was expecting a little bit more from this, it's a good film still but it could have been polished up a lot more. I have to say this film is very brutal even when Leonardo DiCaprio's character Hugh Glass is violently mauled by a grizzly bear, gosh he ended up in a right state after that, realistically most people would not survive from a bear attack, even after this he would go into extreme lengths to survive. Other than this the film had a lot of parts where nothing was happening, this is what I mean by wishing the film had more improvements like DiCaprio going all Rambo or something but that's just me and my wishful thinking mind.

Child's Play 3 (1991)

Anything but a Military school...

[4/10 · 5 January 2016]

Oh gosh, did this really have to be the place to set the film up? I really don't see much sense why they sent Andy there, wouldn't they thought, "Wait wouldn't this place make Andy into a killing machine rather than discipline him?" I hate the idea of the film being set in a Military school, you usually get the cliché douche-bag guy who bullies the new guy.

Don't get me wrong I liked it when Chucky makes his kills but the one character I felt ruined the entire movie was this young black kid called Tyler, why is he so retarded? Even when Andy warns him, he doesn't listen. I just didn't like this one at all.

Fight Club (1999)

Incredibly overrated and makes little sense

[2/10 · 20 December 2015]

I'm as confused as a rat in a maze as to why Fight Club is rated so highly and is in the top 10. The story and the overall film doesn't make much sense, I mean how on Earth does an insomniac office worker have a split personality believing he's talking (and fighting) to someone and starts up a cult following of men that not only do they all appear to enjoy fighting without moral question but are completely brainwashed and have become terrorists to his cause? Not only that but the main character breaks the fourth wall. I just find this film to be incredibly weird, also I don't understand why Marla just can't give a straight answer of things that are happening between them which the main character doesn't realise he's doing. But the weirdest thing about this film is when he's fighting with Tyler Durden, there's a part where he's being dragged and it's seen from a security camera which shows it's just him dragging himself, but how is this possible? He looks like he's being dragged by a ghost.

Personally, I didn't like this film and from what I think from a general consensus, no way is this a masterpiece, maybe the revealing of the split personality thing but everything else is just weird.

Hunter Prey (2010)

Hey, it's the planet of the Boba Fetts!

[5/10 · 15 December 2015]

Haha, I just couldn't help myself but think how of a resemblance the armoured suits that the alien characters wear make them look like Boba Fett from Star Wars.

OK, I'll put all joking aside now, well it's not a bad sci-fi film but it's just really average, from the looks of it all there wasn't a lot of effort put into this film.

There was very little action in it and the ending is lacking. As for the story I can just make out what it's all about and overall I think the film could have done with more fine-tuning to make it a more worthwhile film.

Spy (2015)

Absolutely pathetic, the worst film of 2015

[1/10 · 6 December 2015]

Seriously, how on Earth did this film get an overall good high rating on IMDb? Because I have a feeling the people that rated it high had their heads up their ass. While the trailers made it look like a fair film but by the time I got to watch it I couldn't believe how shockingly awful this film is. The comedy (or the lack of comedy) was completely unfunny, the acting was poor and cheesy, has an unnecessary showing of an actual dick in it, lots of boring yakking, shouting childish insults and Jason Statham acting like an immature child. Gosh, was this film even made by real people or was it made by Teletubbies? I just can't believe Jude Law and Jason Statham would stoop so low to being in this filthy pig stein of a movie just for a quick cheque. Somewhere at the beginning of this film I was actually considering turning this film off, sure the film did get better but it was still like a pair of dirty underwear pants that just wouldn't wash. Never again I'm I going to watch another film starring Melissa McCarthy, not even in the upcoming Ghostbusters movie.

Overall, of all the films I've seen come out in 2015, this is by far the worst movie of 2015. Avoid this film everyone for your own sakes.

Apocalypse Now (1979)

The Boring and Offensive Apocalypse

[1/10 · 17 November 2015]

I think a lot of people who think this film is a classic are stupid idiots, the only memorable scene in the film is when they drop exploding napalm exploding and the guy in the hat says "I love the smell of napalm in the morning", the rest of the film is a completely boring bombshell and it's like the film was high on drugs as there's this one part where people are butchering a cow in the most grotesque way possible... now I'm offended by this film.

This film is just weird, the characters are not memorable at all not even Marlon Brando's character, the story is non-existent and the ending just sucks. Overall this film is absolutely terrible.

The Princess Bride (1987)

Inconceivable!!!

[1/10 · 9 November 2015]

After watching it I simply don't like this movie at all, I just don't get what people see in this movie. It purposely looks like a cheap 1980's TV movie, the parts that are meant to be comedic are just poorly executed and for the most part the film is actually really boring. The Princess character is by far the worst character in the movie, while she and Westley were in the swamp, Westley gets attacked by a giant rodent and while this is happening, she just stands there doing nothing, doesn't even have the thought of helping him pass the sword he dropped, I understand that this movie is about the concept of true love but I don't think this women is worth it, all she is is this stereotypical damsel in distressed emotionless women who just can't think for herself such as her life choices and common sense.

Sometime after this Westly gets captured, and tortured until killed to death, only to be bought back to life in the most stupidest fashion I've ever seen after being actually dead for some time, it just doesn't make sense. And about that evil Prince, no-one kills him yet this Inigo Montoya character who is arguably the best character in the movie gets a free pass to get revenge on the guy who murdered his father, I think the movie should have been about him, but instead we get this bloated mess. Before watching this I thought it would be a more "epic and gritty" film, but that does not appear to be the case.

Witchfinder General (1968)

A very accurate portrayal of the Witchcraft Trials

[7/10 · 1 November 2015]

The ancient past sure is gruesome and evil and Witchfinder General shows a very accurate portrayal of the Witchcraft Trials, the law back then was very flawed and was exploited to the point of which anyone can be accused of witchcraft if one person didn't like the other person or in this case the Witchfinder earning big money just by accusing innocent people, torturing them and then finish them off by executing them. Vincent Price playing as the evil Witchfinder General Matthew Hopkins does a fantastic job as the central villain, he's absolutely ruthless and cunning as he is essentially above the law, a very lawful evil character.

Although I was kind of expecting more like hundreds of people being burned alive considering that this is one of the many films my mother couldn't sit through watching as to how gruesome and near to the reality of the past it is. Never the less it's a pretty good horror film.

Dracula Untold (2014)

Watchable but sucked, & I don't mean like a Vampire

[5/10 · 24 October 2015]

First of all I want to clear up that there's nothing historically accurate in this film, instead it's a fictional twisted story of how Vlad Tepes became the legendary Vampire, Dracula which is an idea that's been done before in Dracula (1992) but in this story he became a Vampire solely to protect his family and kingdom from the invading Turks. The movie is OK, it's watchable but there's things in this movie that really bug me somewhat.

Generally Vampires have a weakness to heart impalement, sunlight and crosses, however they decided to include silver as a weakness, seriously this should be the weakness for Werewolves, not Vampires. Come to think of it Dracula in Bram Stoker's classic story didn't have a weakness to sunlight. Also Vlad Tepes's Dracula name in the correct sense means "Son of the Dragon", not "Son of the Devil"... Where on Earth did this idea come from?

The action was alright but if you ask me this is pretty much a mediocre film in my opinion.

My Name Is Bruce (2007)

An absolute insult towards fans

[1/10 · 8 October 2015]

I don't get it, what the Hell is this? Before I watched it I was hoping that this was going to be like the Evil Dead films but instead it's a broken mess that's so crap, we might as well actually be watching a pile of crap. Here Bruce Campbell plays himself who is nothing like his heroic and badass Evil Dead character Ash, instead he's a yellow-bellied couch potato coward who is a big wimp when a small town need his help to fight a monster for real. This film is full of unfunny jokes and racist remarks so that's the comedy down the toilet. I say, what the Hell possessed Bruce Campbell to do this movie like this is anyone's guess? But the worst thing of all is it's an absolute insult towards the fans and is a real let-down. Avoid like the plague because this film is really, really bad.

Jaws 2 (1978)

An enjoyable underrated sequel that deserves a chance

[7/10 · 5 October 2015]

A lot of people come under the misconception that only Jaws is good while all the sequels are bad but that's not entirely true. Of course Jaws 3D and Jaws the Revenge are the ones you should definitely avoid at all costs but Jaws 2 is the one that gets under-looked and unfairly rated because of the bad rep the later sequels did. I assure you all, Jaws 2 is nothing like those said bad sequels films, in fact this film is actually as enjoyable as it's preceding film.

Like a proper sequel should do it directly continues from where the first film left off with most of the same characters returning including main protagonist Police Chief Martin Brody (Roy Scheider), he is just an excellent main character, it wouldn't be a Jaws film without him who has the unfortunate task of dealing with another man eating shark that is terrorising the sea of this island resort town of Amity. Although the film starts off slow but as more of the film gets going the better it becomes. I loved the moments when the shark kills the victims like a horror villain should.

Now of course Jaws 2 may not match up to the original film but at least the people who made this film actually tried to make a good film with a decent story. I enjoyed it and I highly recommend it, it's one of the many underrated sequels that should be given a chance.

To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)

Big let-down

[4/10 · 25 September 2015]

I felt really disappointed with this film, the kids in the film kept getting most of the spotlight and we don't even get to the court case till half way through the film and to my disappointment Atticus Finch (Gregory Peck) lost the case and then somehow afterwards the black guy who was tried guilty ends up dead not long afterwards, and then something ridiculous happens in the end that makes no bloody sense. It was a Halloween night and one of the kids is dressed up as a giant ham (really?) and then all a sudden this guy attacks them and then another guy comes in out of nowhere to save them and kills the guy who tried to hurt them and sooner or later we see the guy who saved them. OK, who the hell is this guy? The court part was the only good highlight of the film, the rest is just the daily lives of a few kids, ergh, this film is actually not good at all, a really overrated film.

By the way, Atticus is not really a heroic guy, sure he defends a black man accused of a crime and won't fight back if spat on, yet he kills a dog with a gun that everyone assumes has rabies.

The Elephant Man (1980)

Aww, poor man.

[9/10 · 18 September 2015]

Considering this film is based on the real life story of Joseph Merrick, the severely deformed man otherwise known as the Elephant Man, some things were changed from real life to give it fictional flare as well as Joseph Merrick's name being changed to John Merrick which I heard is an incorrect mistake. But what matters is this film is based off a real man who suffered with his tumour deformity who was mistreated and displayed at a freak show until one kind man, Frederick Treves (Anthony Hopkins) took an interest in him and bought him into his own care at the hospital. Some parts were very disturbing and a lot of times you'll feel really sorry for the poor man being bullied by the wrong people but it's nice that there are people like Frederick who will give great kindness.

Anthony Hopkins and John Hurt did a tremendous job playing their parts so well done to them. Now one would wonder why the film is in black and white, well I believe it was done this way for an artistic effect and it really does pay off, I suppose the film wouldn't be the same if it were in colour.

And then all a sudden, the ending, I won't spoil what it is but it's one of the beautiful endings I've ever seen in my life and it made me cry. I don't normally cry when watching a film but I was truly deeply moved by this film which is rare for me and for doing that, this film is a true cinematic masterpiece. An absolute must see, just beware to have the tissues ready if you plan on watching this.

The Salvation (2014)

An excellent Western

[8/10 · 6 September 2015]

The Salvation is a surprisingly excellent Western with a splendid cast and has plenty of thrilling tension moments to make this film all the worth while.

Mads Mikkelsen normally isn't known for playing a heroic vigilante protagonist as he's usually known for playing villain roles such as Bond villain Le Chiffre in Casino Royale (2006) and Dr. Hannibal Lecter in the TV series, Hannibal. But Mads Mikkelsen proves he can adapt to the role and it's his great performance alone that makes this film worth seeing.

Along with the other great cast include Eva Green, Jonathan Pryce and Jeffrey Dean Morgan as the villainous Henry Delarue, all of which played their roles really well although one criticism I have is that Eva Green is a mute in this one so sadly you can't hear her great acting in this film.

Overall I found the Salvation to be one of the many Western films such as Django Unchained (2012) that I've really enjoyed.

Rocky (1976)

Boring, Boring, Boring and just odd.

[3/10 · 5 September 2015]

Sorry but I did not like this movie at all. I can understand that it's the story of an underdog boxer who has been given a once in a lifetime opportunity to have a boxing fight with the heavy-weight champion, a David and Goliath type story if you wish to call it that. Unfortunately the majority of this film is a load of boring drivel, it has a lot of unnecessary scenes and has some oddities.

First oddity, Rocky drinks 4 uncooked eggs for breakfast...OK that's just weird. Apparently it's something that bodybuilders do to get quick protein but uncooked eggs are not really safe to consume as one might carry salmonella and it would make more sense if you just cooked and eat them like normal as you will still get the same amount of protein. Second oddity, Rocky punches frozen meat hangings like a punching bag *facepalm*...what? What a stupid idiot, the first time he does this he's bleed his hands which I'm not surprised about but not long afterwards when he does a televised interview he punches the things again just to show off, he's like a dog that doesn't learn.

Adrian is a terrible character, she has no confidence and seems lifeless most of the time. Even her brother Paulie is weird and throws a cooked turkey out of the door just to make her go out.

One scene to mention that was completely pointless and unnecessary was when Rocky wanted to help this tomboy girl away from some street gang and once he walked her home she flips the bird at Rocky and says "Screw You". OK, what was the point of all that?

The only part of the film that's flawless is the famous training scene where you hear the Rocky theme tune while Rocky is running and runs to the top of the stairs successfully and putting his arms in the air.

Once we get to about the last 30 minutes of the movie we finally get to the fight itself between Rocky and Apollo. Unfortunately none of them actually won out right and realistically it was a draw even though Apollo wins by a judging decision and then Adrian cries out she loves Rocky and comes into the ring with him. I don't get it, there was absolutely no sense of accomplishment apart from being battered and bruised to oblivion with snot coming out of the nose. Overall the film is just boring and very dull, not a classic film in my eyes.

Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997)

Speed 2: Idiot Control

[1/10 · 28 August 2015]

This film is as stupid as a ship that's trying to leave port but they forgot to take the anchor off first, Keanu Reeves made the right career decision to not return for the sequel to the 1994 blockbuster hit film which by the way leads to a big problem as it's like Die Hard but without John McClane, instead we have to make do with a very boring and poor substitute lead hero Officer Alex Shaw played by Jason Patric. Sandra Bullock on the other hand respires her role as Annie but she has since regretted returning to this complete mess of a sequel.

Where do I begin? Well first of all there's a scene where Sandra Bullock's character is using a chainsaw to free many trapped people on the ship, why there's a chainsaw on a cruise ship beats me. But after making an opening for them, she's still got the chainsaw on hand and she's got it rather too close to the trapped guy on front, are you f****** crazy? Could have gone full on Texas Chain Saw Massacre on that guy and she's like "Duuuurrrr". It's like they turned her character into an idiot while in the original film she wasn't that stupid.

The action was very campy, most of the characters are very bad with poor acting, it lacks the seriousness which the original film had and worst of all it's like the people who were making this movie had no clue what they were doing. There obviously was no quality control whatsoever.

It just blows my mind that this awful movie is a sequel to an awesome movie and this film is often regarded as one of the worst sequel movies ever. I suggest that you should at least watch the excellent Speed and the Father Ted episode "Speed 3", the latter of which is still miles better than Speed 2.

The Warriors (1979)

Can you dig it?! Nope...

[2/10 · 7 August 2015]

OK, let me get this straight, set in a dystopia version of New York city in 1979, every area of the city is controlled by different gangs that control their own turf and they all dress up in their own silly themes for their group such as a baseball themed gang, gangs on Rollerblades, Mimes, an all female gang and so on. What is this, Gangs of Theme Park Land? Many of these different gangs dress up like clowns. In the beginning they all worship this messiah guy who speaks in this hilarious manner and shouting out "Can you dig it?!" and ends up shot dead. Nobody has a bloody clue who shot him and all the other gangs are chasing down the wrong gang being the movie's protagonists the Warriors. The movie is OK and is watchable but it's nothing special.

So no, I don't dig it, it's a very poor movie that's got cult following people blinded by it's own nostalgia factor. They think it's a classic, I on the other hand think it's an overrated pile of trash.