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Reviews
Dismembered (2003)
HORRIBLE DVD Transfer!!!!!
"Dismembered" has a genuinely creepy story idea and a wonderfully fun cast that manages to rise above a sometimes lame script. Unfortunately, the fine cast and creepy story is ruined by the HORRIBLE transfer to DVD! To be perfectly blunt, the transfer looks like it was taken from an extremely poor analog signal off of someone's dying television set. Many of the scenes had lines and what appeared to be signal interference running through them. This made it very difficult to see what was going on. For a movie filmed in 2003, there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for a transfer this horrendous. I thought that perhaps I had purchased a defective copy, so I exchanged it twice more with the same pathetic results. If this film ever does air on satellite, I'll burn it to disc myself and throw the official copy in the trash where it belongs. The distributor of the official release should be embarrassed and ashamed for putting out such a poor quality DVD! The basic storyline and the cast rate a 7, but the DVD transfer gets a 0 and an F- to drop my vote down to a 3.
Resident Evil (2002)
Typical Video Game Movie
Typical movie based on a video game: sparse plot, little to no character development, terrific special effects, lots of blood and gore, and a loud heavy metal soundtrack. Great if the viewer expects nothing more than a video game transferred to film. Disappointing if the viewer expects any use of imagination to expand the video game plot in said transfer. The female leads are physically strong heroines as opposed to whiny, sniveling damsels in distress (definitely a plus). Yet these "strong female heroines" demonstrate very little in the intellectual or common sense departments. Of course, neither do the male leads, so I can't complain too profusely. I enjoy zombie films because zombies do make fun movie monsters in an ugly and disgusting sort of way. Unfortunately, I do not consider them to be very scary or threatening except in large numbers. One on one they are a minor threat (don't get bitten or scratched) and are no match for an average human being who could out-think and out-run them with very little difficulty. The whole point of a movie with zombies as the main obstacle is to be gory, disgusting, cannibalistic, and provide a high body count. This particular film succeeds on all those counts!
12:01 (1993)
Fun "Time Loop" Film
I love time travel/ time loop stories, so it stands to reason that I would probably enjoy this film based solely on its plot. This picture manages to successfully mix romance with science fiction and espionage. However, I must admit that it is the exceptional cast and wonderful acting that makes this one of my favorite films. Jonathan Silverman is wonderfully believable in the lead role and Helen Slater has always impressed me with her ability to immerse herself in different types of characters. I always forget that her first movie role was that of "Supergirl"! Additionally, Jeremy Piven is a comic delight as Howard and Robin Bartlett is equally as good in her role as the annoying Anne Jackson. In my opinion, Ms. Bartlett is one of our more talented and under-appreciated character actresses. Finally, any movie that utilizes the magnificent Martin Landau gets a 10 right off the bat!
Night of the Living Dead (1990)
Pretty Awful
Contains Spoilers!!! Continue at your own risk!!! Let me begin by saying that I like zombie movies. I own all of Romero's "Living Dead" films as well as some non-Romero offerings ("Shaun of the Dead" among others). I will watch any zombie related film or show that pops up and I really intended to like this film. Having said that, I knew I was in trouble when I gave up watching in disgust a mere 10 minutes into the picture. Frankly, I found myself rooting for the zombies to hurry up and eat "Barbara" just to silence her incessant shrieking. I absolutely detest whiny, screaming, simpering female leads. I don't mind characters (male or female) screaming in fear. It's a healthy and natural human emotion. I do mind unnecessarily prolonged hysterics. Perhaps "Barbara" grew a spine and became a worthy heroine after I gave up watching, but I'll never know. It's a shame, because Patricia Tallman is a wonderful actress. However, in the first 10 minutes of film she spends most of her time in the front seat of her car screaming hysterically and grabbing her ears. I'm assuming that the ear grabbing was for dramatic effect, but instead it just makes her look silly. When she finally exits her car, she continues to scream (Hey! Zombies! Follow the screaming!) and then makes her way to a farmhouse where she stupidly leaves the door wide open (Hey! Zombies! Come on in! Door's open!). Enough of this crap. I'm outta here, and I didn't even get to see the usually magnificent Tony Todd who is one of my favorite actors!