stansellb Reviews

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

Damn! It was actually good!

[7/10 · 28 May 2016]

After DoFP, I was skeptical if the First Class reboot could go any further. Long story short, DoFP left so many open threads that didn't make sense that I couldn't keep them all straight. Apocalypse comes along and it was the nice shiny bow that tied up the hanging threads of DoFP. Well.. most of them anyway.

Without giving too much away, Apocalypse is definitely a continuation of the First Class and DoFP timelines, so know that you won't understand much of it unless you've seen those films. You can enjoy it, sure, but don't expect to understand it. Like seeing the Avengers without seeing Iron Man or Captain America.

Watching Apocalypse felt like I was watching the old Saturday morning cartoon series from the early 90s. It was nice to see Jubilee there (even if she doesn't use her 'powers') but it still left me wondering when they're finally going to bring Gambit into the picture. I suppose Colossus was off futzing with Deadpool. We even get to see Prof. X kick some ass which was nice however I won't reveal how.

The end feels a lot like the end of Civil War which may be my only complaint. Without spoiling it, it also allows for the connection to the first 3 X-men in a plausible way. My only complaint might be that Weapon X was a program and not a man.

In any case it's an excellent continuation to the X-Men saga that any superhero fan should go and see.

John Wick (2014)

Brilliant Violence

[9/10 · 1 November 2015]

This movie is the beginning of a franchise. And an almost perfect film in and of itself. There is so little dialogue in this film but this is not a bad thing. It gives you a break from the exposition heavy origin stories that are so tiring. The action starts from minute one and never stops. The editing, set design, and acting let you know everything you need to know. We don't need back story, we don't need exposition, we know how bad ass John Wick is in every scene he's in.

Keanu Reeves shines more than any film he's ever been in. He's more bad ass than in the Matrix, more likable than in Constantine. This is the role he was born to play. Woah. He's the anti-hero we've all been waiting for him to play and he does it with aplomb. He's an unabashed killer and you will be rooting for him every second of the way.

John Wick is the boogeyman.

Terminator Genisys (2015)

Let's just ignore one of the best movies of all time.

[3/10 · 1 November 2015]

The movie has some excellent ideas (a particle-based terminator, traveling back to the beginning), they are so poorly executed it's almost insulting to fans of the franchise. Terminator 1, 2, and 3 (which I actually liked because it made sense) seem to have never occurred.

Terminator 1 implies that the first time Sarah Connor encountered a terminator (or Kyle Reese, for that matter) was when she was 20-30 years old, however now we're told she met one when she was 9 years old, and now she was essentially raised by one.

Terminator 2 tells us that the man most responsible for Judgement Day was Miles Dyson, but he dies, erasing all data related to it. Only now we're told that it was his son who created Skynet, in collusion with Skynet itself. A paradox if ever there was one.

Terminator 3 tells us that Skynet is inevitable. It's the natural evolution of machines. Which makes sense. However none of the events of 3 are referenced in Genisys and instead Skynet is apparently just the cloud, in essence retreading the events of 3.

As I said, the particle-based terminator is cool, but not much else. This film can't decide if it wants to be a sequel or a reboot and in the end is just frustrating for all the moments you'll find yourself saying "It would have been cool if they did this instead of that."

American History X (1998)

Truly a superb film.

[10/10 · 16 April 2015]

The film is explained in the first five minutes. Sweeney says simply "This child is confused" "He learned it and he can unlearn it".

It's a movie about how hate is taught, almost inherited. 99% of all racial issues in America today are explained in this film. We aren't born evil, we're made that way through years of conditioning. Our fathers are our models for God, if our fathers fail, what does that tell you about God?

Many of the images in this movie are hard to watch. Even harder to admit that these things still happen today and the only cure is education and knowledge. Hating someone is easy. Knowing someone takes work.

Quite possibly Norton's best movie. And while Avery Brooks is always great, I'd say this is the shining star in his career. And while everyone knows furlong from T2, I think he's awesome in this pic; truly showing that he does have acting ability.

If you haven't seen this pic, you should. You won't feel comfortable if only because you can probably know someone like one of the characters in this film. It's a great pic with a great lesson.

Predestination (I) (2014)

Confusing, but perfect

[9/10 · 4 April 2015]

Without a doubt, this film can be confusing, and I can understand how many people would hate it because it doesn't spell everything out for them. However, to we few, we happy few true sci-fi nerds who love exploring the impossible, I think this is probably the best time-travel film I've ever seen.

The plot of this film is everything Looper and R.I.P.D. should have been. It completes itself quite literally and for the life of me I can't find any holes in it. It is extremely well thought out and it is the best exploration of a paradox I think has ever been placed on film. You could quite literally play this movie on repeat, start it at any chapter and it would still make sense.

If you just want to be entertained, this movie might not be for you. But if you're entertained by deep philosophical quandaries Predestination is your movie.

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)

The Hobbit: Oooh, shiny red ball

[2/10 · 7 January 2015]

Seriously, this isn't even a movie. This is an addendum to Desolation of Smaug, which in itself requires a healthy dose of "Wait for it..." from the viewer to sit down and watch.

Nothing in this movie matters. At all! It offers absolutely nothing substantial to the franchise. Everything that should have been covered isn't and anything you couldn't care less about is emphasized.

All five armies fight over shiny stuff. It's like watching a bunch of kindergarten kids on a playground. "I had it first!", "Give it back!", "No", "I want it!", "you're a poopy head!", "You're a bigger poopy head!", "I'm telling on you!!!" We don't give a flying frak about why they're all fighting or even who will win or what the consequences are because we wish they'd all just grow up and learn that what they're fighting about doesn't matter in the least. We're told at the beginning of Fellowship that Elves are wise... not here. They're just as greedy as the dwarfs and men.

And above all, what is so important about the stupid arkenstone? Ooh, shiny!!! And what are the dwarfs going to do with all their gold? Just look at it 'till they die? What if they won? OK, we've got the gold. Now what? Why not show us HOW Saurumon became evil? Or any other number of stories that the original trilogy left out. If you're going to make crap up at least make it connect with what we already know.

Stupid, pointless, a waste of time. Pick your adjective but they all apply.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)

Dawn of an awesome reboot

[9/10 · 14 November 2014]

I really like where this rebooted franchise is going. It took me a long time to get around to seeing the first one and I imagine it's for the reasons most people had: The first movies with Heston just seem silly now. Not to mention the first reboot was utter crap. So naturally I had reservations about ANOTHER reboot of this obviously silly franchise.

But it's not silly at all. In the age of biological scares and pharmaceutical companies clamoring for the next dollar and neurological diseases affecting more and more people, the premise of these movies actually seems... viable. Dare I say, realistic.

Not just the premise, but you actually care about these characters. And I found myself actually caring more about the apes than I did the humans. Dawn re-emphasizes everything that's set up in Rise and continues the story many years after its cliffhanger ending. It explores the origins of human hatred and bitterness through the burgeoning ape society.

There is good and evil on both sides and ironically enough, the film brings us to understand and even empathize with both. The beauty of this movie is that in the end you really don't know who you're cheering for because everyone is justified and everyone is (in some sense) doing the right thing.

Do yourself a favor and even if you have reservations about this reboot, go find Dawn (but not before you've seen Rise) and give it at least one viewing. I'm confident you'll want to view both of these films again and again and that they'll most assuredly find a place in your Blu-Ray collection.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

Rise of a franchise

[9/10 · 14 November 2014]

Don't believe the title. This is not a film about the Planet of the Apes. Sure, you'll find little hints and references to the original films but this is a completely different animal all together.

This is a very human film. A very human experience. However you will find yourself empathizing with the apes, possibly even more than the humans. There are no 'damned, dirty apes' in this picture. More 'damned, dirty humans' than anything else. You will more than likely find yourself rooting for the apes here.

If you're like me you probably had reservations about seeing this movie because of the originals and the first reboot being pathetically bad. I put off checking this one out and just happened to stumble across it one day on a whim. I can honestly say though that it's now one of my favorite films and I couldn't wait for Dawn to come out and now am anxiously awaiting its sequel. Even if you are POSITIVE that you will hate this film, I beg you to check it out as it's worth every minute of your time.

Hail Ceaser!

Delivery: The Beast Within (I) (2013)

Very Psychological

[8/10 · 29 August 2014]

I've become disenfranchised with the supernatural-based horror genre. Probably because I've grown up and not a lot truly scares me anymore. In fact I think movies with fully represented and fleshed out monsters are more funny than scary.

I find myself creeped out more by horror films that have some sense of... I don't want to say 'realism' but at least some sense of plausibility to them with as few supernatural requirements as possible, which is why I think I like Delivery.

In the end, nothing truly supernatural happens, which is what I think some people were expecting, but I think this film continues in the tradition of The Blair Witch (hey, it wasn't that bad) in letting your imagination do all the work. I find the ending of this film to be far more shocking than if an actual demon did pop out of her. And in the age of reality shows that are more or less exactly like this, I think the set up of this film was perfectly staged.

Again, not for everyone. But if you're looking for a good psychological scare, check this one out.

The Congress (2013)

Heh?

[3/10 · 27 July 2014]

I love the concept of this film but its major problem is that it never truly defines the parameters of the world(s) it creates, which is something that every film like this needs to do. She is digitized, but then it's implied that her digital 'copy' and the real world are separate entities.

We jump forward 20 years to her in her car. Is this her digital 'copy'? If so, have all of the other animated characters (mostly the insignificant ones) been scanned as well? This part takes a jump to it being all about chemistry. Why did they need to have the 'congress' in the animated world in either case? If in the future it changes to a chemical catalyst, how are they interacting with the digital copies they were implied to be?

I really wanted to like this movie, the trailer made it sound like such an interesting concept. Kind of like mix between Inception, Roger Rabbit, Transcendence, and Cool World... but ended up being just disjointed and uninteresting. I kept waiting, baiting my breath, thinking that the next scene would bring everything together and things would start to make sense, but they never do. It just became odder and more strange as the film continued, pushing it further away from any baseline it may have set.

Perhaps I'm too dense to appreciate this film but I always believed that a storyteller has to set parameters for the world they create. We can watch films like Roger Rabbit because they set the limits for the world the characters interact with. We allow for Space Sci-fi because they let us know the limits. We love superhero movies as long as they adhere to the limits of the universe the characters live in. If the characters don't, we can't relate on any level and lose interest and become confused.

That's where this film lost me. Where did the real world end and where did the animated world begin? And if it's all a hallucination... what's the point in the end? I couldn't find any moral center or real motivation to her character aside from wanting to see her son again... which in the end just seems obtusely selfish. Oh well.

Edit: I see a lot of people describing this film as different things. Some say she died and the animated world was her afterlife or re-incarnation or whatever. Some are saying the 'congress' and the 'rebellion' were like the Matrix or some alternate world. All of these individual descriptions of what is actually going on just re-enforce my point that if you don't at the very least define the parameters of your world there is really no point to telling the story... this is especially true in sci-fi.

Toward the end of the film we see her cross over into the dystopian 'real' world via (presumably) chemical process. OK, did she have a body waiting to receive her consciousness? Was it the same body she crossed over with in the desert? What the hell was the 'congress' about anyway? Why would everyone want to be Robin Wright in the first place (I mean she is beautiful, but come on!)? We see that her 'scanned' self has obviously made some movies, but in the end, the whole scanning dilemma at the beginning of the film amounts to nothing!

The other guy who just happens to look like Tom Cruise says they're the only ones who survived... why is that even important??? Why should we care??? People are obviously crossing over all the time using the chemical process! I mean they have an checkpoint system set up in the desert just for crossing over and coming back apparently!!! Her son crossed over willy-nilly. Her boss crossed over. Her 'animator' who fell in love with her crossed over! If crossing over is a euphemism for dying... how is she able to talk to her daughter from the other side... much less 'cross over' not once but twice after the 20 year jump.

Again... what the hell is going on in this movie???

"I like French films. Pretentious, boring French films. I like French films. Two tickets ce beau ple." -Jay Sherman.

Black Snake Moan (2006)

Horribly marketed

[8/10 · 24 June 2014]

I remember seeing advertisements for this film and thinking it was nothing I would want to go see. Finally got around to it some years later and realized it was actually a great movie with a great story.

It's a story about redemption ultimately. And ironically enough I related mostly with Justin Timberlake's character; a young boy who feels he has to prove something to the world despite his medical problem. Loved (truly loved) by a woman/girl who doesn't care and loves him just the way he is. He leaves because he feels he has to force himself to become a man so he can take care of her. Not realizing that love is about taking care of each other, and allowing yourself to be taken care of.

Rae kind of handles his absence by going on a bender. Drugs, alcohol, and even sex. Continually trying to (for lack of a better term) fill the void Ronnie has left. You see it all the time in dozens of movies and TV shows, except it's usually a man going on the bender when the woman he loves breaks up with him.

Lazarus is essentially an extreme form of rehab for Rae and in a sense, himself. He has someone to take care of as she becomes the daughter he never had.

I really like the end of this movie as well since it shows Ronnie will probably never be the hard- ass he thought he needed to be and it's not a bad thing to depend on someone else. I also like the symbolism of Rae's gold chain since it's essentially saying that she is her own keeper now.

All in all, a great movie... just not the one they advertised it as. It's actually much more mature instead of the sex-filled festival the trailers and commercials made it out to be. It's much like Inglorious Bastards in that way since that film is also great... but the subject is not the Bastards.

X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014)

Heh?

[7/10 · 22 June 2014]

I'm extremely conflicted about this movie since it seems to raise more questions than it purported to answer. It made an extravagant claim that it would connect the rebooted First Class with the original trilogy, however in my mind it has destroyed both.

Assuming the future in DoFP is 20-30 years from the end of The Wolverine, were Magneto and Prof. X just sitting on their asses after warning Logan, knowing this day would come? Where does Logan get adamantium to cover his claws again after The Wolverine (he slashes Kitty with metal, not bone claws)? Everyone thinks Prof. X should be the one to go back in time, but it's only after Kitty tells him he wouldn't survive the trip that Logan volunteers. Um... wouldn't both Prof. X and Logan know this already?? On top of that, the scene at the end of The Wolverine implies "we all have our gifts", implying it would be Prof. X sending Logan back. HE DOESN'T DO CRAP. Kitty's the one using her power. X just mind melds with Logan so he can talk to himself. Assuming DoFP never happened (no time travel), Trask develops and deploys sentinels in the 70's! That's 60 years before the future in DoFP! Seriously, no one knew this was coming? Shouldn't it have already come? After that presentation at the White house, did they just put the sentinels in storage for 40 years then start selling them at the end of The Wolverine (the 70's model is shown on the monitors at the airport where Logan encounters Magneto and the Professor)? Given her outrage at the experimentation on Mutants, why is Mystique/Raven imitating Stryker at the end? Does she want to be the one to give Logan adamantium? Does she just give him up to Stryker? WTF? And finally, does Magneto just... go good at the end? Foregoing the Brotherhood of Mutants and retiring in a country home? I mean, Phoenix in X3 apparently never occurs after Logan 'changes' history, and in the end, Phoenix was a consequence of Liberty Island, which was a consequence of the Brotherhood being in existence. And Jean's death at Logan's hand (claws) was a huge subplot of The Wolverine, which it looks like never happened in this new future. And let's just ignore the fact that the Sentinels in the Danger Room in X3 look nothing like the ones presented in DoFP (future or past) despite the fact they've known about them for almost 30-40 years at that point.

Sigh. I could go on and on with these circular questions, but they start to give one a headache. Which is my main problem with the film. I like it's style, direction, and I even think it had a good story to tell... but that is only if you ignore every other X-Men film. Which brings us to the paradox.

We as fans were led to believe that this film was going to concatenate First Class with the original trilogy, something that was even hinted at in The Wolverine (which I happen to think was the best X-Men movie, with X2 coming in a close second). None of them are perfect in terms of continuity, but I just can't help but I just can't help but think this was the worst. It's almost as if it occurred in a parallel universe. Like Fringe or something.

Edit: In my list of favorite X-Men films, I seem to have forgotten First Class, which I think was an excellent picture. I'd probably wedge it in between The Wolverine and X2. I just wish they had gone on with 'Second' Class or whatever they would have named it instead of the hodgepodge that is DoFP. Also, I forgot about X-Men: Origins... which I admit I never saw but heard it was awful... so I don't even consider it 'canon'.

Ignorance may very well be bliss in this case. I really wanted to like this movie; but then I started thinking. Que sera.

Edit: OK, Fox decided to release "The Rouge Cut" of this movie and I have to say the plot of this 'director's cut' is much more entertaining. Don't get me wrong, it's still full of holes that make little to no sense when compared with the rest of the franchises canon, but I think the added sequence of older Magneto saving Rogue makes up for it. Enjoyment still requires heads be in the sand but at least now I can find it enjoyable without persistently asking question after question.