samgreer-694-680740 Reviews

House of Gucci (2021)

Bring a pillow

[2/10 · 6 February 2022]

Full disclosure, I've never been a fan of Adam Driver. I can't think of anything he's ever done that's any good and this is no exception. I used to think Kevin Costner or Warren Beatty was the worst actor in Hollywood, then I saw Adam Driver lower the bar somehow.

Ironically, he is not the biggest problem with the movie. The biggest problem with the movie is it sucks. It's easily the most vapid movie this decade. If this film were made well, it could only appeal to the most pretentious. Pompous and superficial audience who actually care about fashion brands.

Princess problems aside, it tries to connect the drama of the Gucci family with Driver's marriage and a successful textile / fashion business. It seems to suck ceed more at the family side and less at the business side.

If you want to see this actually done well, watch "The Founder" with Michael Keaton. Every metric of that movie was exponentially better than every metric of HoG.

On the upside Lady Gaga actually turned in the best performance in this flop. Jeremy Irons probably took 2nd but his part was a small one, and Al Pacino phoned this turd in.

The good news is you won't walk out because you'll be asleep before the 1st act is over. They should add "don't snore" to the "no cell phone" and "no talking" warnings before this one.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

REMAKE

[3/10 · 21 November 2021]

This is not an installment or reboot, its just a remake of the original done half as well. If you're excited to see the original cast return, don't be. Aykroyd has the most screen time of the original cast and its about 7 minutes. Weaver and Moranis wisely avoided this snooze-fest and the rest of the original cast had about 5 minutes of screen time. If you are going to see the new cast, why?

There's no stand out, nothing original, it's just more of Hollywood's recycling program.

I could have edited this entire movie down to 20 minutes and that 20 minutes still wouldn't be as entertaining as any 20 minutes in the original movie. F for FLOP.

I Care a Lot (2020)

a joke

[3/10 · 8 April 2021]

This movie will make you say OMG and not in a good way. So ridiculous, far fetched and preposterous is the story you'll be laughing out loud and rolling your eyes. 3 stars all for originality, maybe 1 or 2 for the Ex Bond girl's acting (the only notable performance) but no amount of acting chops can rescue a laughable farce like this. Call Quentin Tarantino and let him edit the script and direct this and I'd watch it again to see the new, improved version. Until 2.0 comes out save yourself the pain of trying to swallow this fairytale. DC comics are more believable.

The Brown Bunny (2003)

Congradulations! My first 1 star rating.

[1/10 · 23 February 2020]

I'll skip the plot and get to the point. This is pathetic. I think 2/3 of the movie is the main character standing on a doorstep or fueling a van and the other 1/3 is bad. Really bad. Laughably bad. If I were entering a festival called "Most pathetic attempt at filmmaking on a $500 budget" I would want this as my entry. No script, no plot, no logic, no point. I could see this as a benchmark in movie making where a judge might sentence a convict to watch this as part of their punishment. Other than that. steer clear my friends. I forgot about "The Art of Self Defense" LOL. That also earned 1 star for a different, but no less excruciating, horrible, 90 minutes.

GLOW (2017–2019)

Well its a soap opera now

[5/10 · 8 September 2019]

Much like the tragedy that was Black Sails this show that was great the first 2 seasons has been turned into a soap opera. You know its a soap when you can skip entire episodes and it males no difference when watching a series. Not sure why shows seem to take this dreadful turn after 2 seasons, but I hope it stops. There are so few shows worth watching. Sad.

Wildling (2018)

Off the rails

[9/10 · 16 September 2018]

Gave this movie 9 stars mostly for great originality. This movie broke all the rules and took chances and I love and appreciate that in an age of pathetic, recycled scripts. Also I didn't have to suffer through 90 minutes of CGI crap. I wish I could describe or compare the film in this review but there is really nothing to compare it to. Stranger Things meets The Howling meets Jennifer's Body told in Greek tragic style. The only reason this original dark drama didn't get a 10 from me is there seemed to be a missed opportunity for a little bit of levity or comedy in the 2nd act that could have lightened the somber mood a bit. Definitely worth a watch,

Damnation (2017–2018)

Best Surprise of 2017

[9/10 · 13 December 2017]

I was eager to see this after seeing the trailer and its even better than I expected. What great writing and acting. Anyone who loves history, period pieces, Americana or just a glimpse of how the sausage gets made will LOVE this. I can't wait for the next episode even though we all know how it ends, turns out few of us know how we as Americans get to where we are today. Watch from the beginning!

The Girlfriend Experience (2016–2021)

From a 9 to a 4

[4/10 · 9 December 2017]

This show had a brilliant start. A simple concept of following the life of a sex worker from her point of view. Better yet, the star and protagonist of season 1 did not begin as a sex worker, we see her turn into one. Season one is full of well thought out plot twists like myriad problems, dangers and unintended consequences of being a sex worker. The audience cared about her and her problems. Enter the abortion called season 2. This is a completely different show. The lead actress is gone, we are thrust into the middle of 2 wildly different plots with new characters we don't know or care about. The sex worker angle is still there, but it's a sub-plot. There is also a stupid background noise during the entire show that sucks ass. This season is garbage. What idiot thought this was a good idea? LOL.

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)

I've waited a lifetime for this

[9/10 · 26 December 2016]

FINALLY! For a while there, I really thought I might not live to see another Star Wars movie worth a damn. After the last installment in the franchise, I really thought it was dead. Well, give me 400 joules and clear, cause this series just came back from the dead! Unlike the last 4 abortions defined by excessive CGI, bad acting, horrible casting, mediocre scripts with cheesy dialogue, effeminate girly man villains, rabid feminist agendas and all "new SW" plagues, this is the total original feel SW everyone knows who saw the originals when they came out in the theater. You will recognize some old favorites and appreciate the prudent use of special effects. Took me straight back to 1977! I have no idea what took so long to make this installment worthy of being called a Star Wars film. Gareth Edwards certainly has the secret sauce. The franchise that began as Classic Coke, switched to New Coke for far too long, but is finally back to Classic Coke. I'm so grateful this finally got made after wasted decades I'm not even going to nitpick it. Hallelujah.

Captain Fantastic (2016)

Had potential

[3/10 · 12 October 2016]

This movie had great potential. Its kind of like someone made a movie about the Alaskan Bush People. That's where the good idea ends and all the bad ideas in the script begin. The story centers around the suicide of Ben's wife (the kids' mother) It tap dances around and insinuates but never makes any connection between her suicide and the family lifestyle. A weird letter written by the deceased doesn't give many clues. Instead of focusing on the differences between living on the grid and off the grid, this focuses on the loss of a woman who we never see alive. The male children seem to take issue with the lifestyle more than the female. The script delves into very bad taste. From inappropriate behavior at a wake, to theft (not just of food) and a truly disgusting act I don't think any civilized person could perform on someone they hate much less a wife and mother they claim to love. Watching the portrayal of a home-schooled 8 year old expose the pathetic state of public school was mildly amusing. The writer should have run with that. This movie is tasteless.

Black Sails (2014–2017)

What has happened to this series?

[6/10 · 6 March 2016]

The 6 (and falling) rating is primarily for this season which has started excruciatingly slowly. Seasons 1 and 2 were much faster paced and more exciting. The current season has taken a turn for the worse. The dialogue is getting very cheesy as this pirate epic is turned into thespians performing Shakespeare. I'm not sure if all uneducated pirates and prostitutes were such eloquent philosophers endlessly debating the finer points of philosophy, strategy and psychology. LOL. This crap is really pegging my cheese meter. In addition, it feels like no one has any idea where the hell this season is going, and they don't have enough material for the season, so they are turning what would be one episode from either of the first two seasons into 2 or 3 episodes this season. We are 7 episodes into the season, and I could easily edit those 7 episodes into 3 episodes. If you need a writer, Black Sails, I'm available. Please don't go all True Detective because you don't have enough material or a decent editor. This series is too good for what it's becoming - a nighttime soap opera.

The Hateful Eight (2015)

Starts off great, but turns Tarantino

[7/10 · 31 January 2016]

So this movie starts out great like a lot of Tarantino films, and unfortunately, turns out the same as all Tarantino movies. With the exception of "True Romance" which Tarantino did not direct, and in which Scott had to beg him to change the end, all Tarantino movies seem to be excuses to make actors say the word "nigger" and have a bloodbath. I'm going to focus on the first half of the movie, because that is where all the good is. Good casting, great acting, and good location and cinematography. This dialogue felt kind of period-authentic, but accents could have been better. The period after the US civil war must have been one of turbulence and conflict. Tarantino uses this well. Its a fascinating time in history and a good script about what that time may have been like. I found Samuel Jackson's 1/2 way point monologue personally disgusting and had to debate whether or not I would keep watching. I did for better or worse and did get rewarded with a resolution to a well thought out mystery for the characters and audience alike, but it came with a price. As I first stated, this movie devolves into the typical Tarantino bloodbath. Just once I wish the guy could piece together an original ending to one of his otherwise brilliant scripts.

Macbeth (I) (2015)

Good luck making it through this

[3/10 · 31 January 2016]

Plays are live performances and suffer imitations films do not. Wardrobe and location changes, special effects and camera angles that show us things rather than tell us things are the best tools used in filmmaking. You know the phrase "A picture is worth a THOUSAND WORDS?" Whoever made this left the thousand words in and didn't rely on filmmaking techniques to do the story telling. It is like someone filmed a live play and I'm watching the recording of a live play. This comes complete with eloquent speeches delivered by everyone at all times. Even inappropriate ones. This play was not adapted well to a film and it's just plain excruciating to try and watch. Read the play or watch a live performance as no amount of editing can save this. Next time use more pictures and a few thousand less words.

Joe Dirt 2: Beautiful Loser (2015 Video)

The title says it all

[2/10 · 31 January 2016]

Yep. This was a loser. At least the original was good for some laughs. This turd just wasted my life. Casting : Mark Mcgrath? Really? Bad choice there. It did have Miller, Walken, and Spade back so I thought it might be worth a look. I was wrong. When I say this is fart joke garbage, I'm not exaggerating. Contrived non-plot, no new characters worth a crap, and the old ones have no physical comedy or decent writing. None. At all. I'm writing a review on this for one reason: I hope to save you from wasting 90 minutes of your life. The first 90 minutes of Hateful 8 blows this out of the water for comedy. Check it out.

Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015)

Forced is how this felt

[5/10 · 17 December 2015]

So after waiting a decade and enduring 2 years of hype, this is the 3rd worst Star Wars film IMO after II and III. To be honest I don't know what could have lived up to the expectations set by all that, but this sure didn't come close. First the good. This was much more reminiscent of Episode IV. Gone are the excruciating C3PO puns and corny lines that sounded like they were written by and for a 5 year old (from the last 2 films.) The dialogue rang a lot more true in this script and the comedy actually worked. The CG was good until the planet started self destructing (ALA Star Trek) and it was just too much, obviously CG fake crap. I think Abrams got the point that fans wanted a return to the authentic feel of the original 3 films. It felt a little like those parameters were adhered to so strictly, this was almost deja-vu. I mean every element is virtually repeated right down to a cantina-style bar and destroying a death star. I won't fault him for that, but I can do without a death-star in the next one. The bad. Wow here we go. My hopes of seeing Hamill, Fisher and Ford in this movie (basically cinema history being made here) were dashed watching this. First of all, the years have not been kind to Carrie Fisher and she is almost unrecognizable. There is zero emotional connection between her and Ford even with the entire London Symphony Orchestra trying to play it into existence. There is zero emotional connection between Ford and the antagonist (his and Fisher's son) and while we're on the topic of the antagonist - who the hell casts these actors? Is it the same casting agent who cast Hayden Christiansen? This antagonist looks like an effeminate vampire more suited to the cast of Twilight. Not scary. Not intimidating. When he kills his father it just doesn't work. While we're on effeminate pansy characters, the leader of the stormtroopers is also a pansy. IDK if its a female or what, but I thought stormtroopers were clones. Guess not, cause one is black. And he is the protagonist. Well he and his female counterpart who saves his ass and inexplicably beats the antagonists ass when he says the word "force." Sarah Connor / Ellen Ripley move over, now Rey joins the magic club of girl bad asses. Except her transformation to bad ass occurs in a second with no setup or explanation. Bad. But the absolute worst, most unforgivable sin of this film, is Fisher, Ford and Hamill NEVER APPEAR IN A SINGLE SCENE ALL TOGETHER. Hamill is in the film for about 8 seconds at the end and doesn't even have a line in the movie. But to kill Han Solo off without getting him in a scene with Luke Skywalker is a colossal blunder that will forever haunt this film maker and franchise. Don't believe the hype.

The Gift (VI) (2015)

Here's why this contains "spoilers"

[3/10 · 29 October 2015]

Because the spoiler in this case isn't a spoiler. Its a savior of an hour and a half of your life. Plot holes the size of TX aside, this movie was boring and sucked. Bateman's wife has apparently lost a child and is struggling to get pregnant. A guy from high school who knows Bateman runs into him in a store. Apparently Bateman started a false rumor he was gay or molested or both. For some reason this part remains esoteric. Naturally the boy's father upon hearing the false rumor does what any father would do...he tries to kill him? For being molested? WTF? It gets better. Rather than admit any of this to his wife, he has the guy over for dinner and pretends he doesn't remember any of this, so naturally the victim hatches an elaborate plot to drug and rape Bateman's wife and videotapes it all. Naturally the woman who can't conceive gets pregnant from being raped the one time and the rumor victim's revenge is complete. Horrible casting, a story that could never stand on its own due to preposterous premise after preposterous premise, and Prozac-attack acting all make this stinker DRAG ON FOREVER. Its gets a 3 because although preposterous, at least its original. 3 points for originality because the Greeks did this long before this stink bomb, and much better.

Star Trek: Renegades (2015–2017)

BOLDLY GO...out the fire exit

[2/10 · 13 October 2015]

Days of our Lives plus V (the crappy '80s TV series) = this abomination. San Fran looks like a scene out of V 1984 in this movie. Is there a protagonist? Antagonist? IDK. Too many characters, too little plot. They boldly went where no one wanted to go. I never thought I'd be yearning for Chris Pine, but then I didn't think the bar for this franchise could be lowered any further. I guess this is like a 90 minute episode of that "Next Generation" garbage? Don't know exactly because I can't watch that show - it's so awful. This is equally horrible, so its probably pretty close. I'd love to tell you how it ended, but I didn't make it that far. I have no desire to know, you won't either. You'll be looking to transport out of this disaster.

The Martian (2015)

Worse than Interstellar

[3/10 · 12 October 2015]

Bad. Really bad. I knew every single thing that was going to happen. For frig sake it stole scenes out of "Mission to Mars" and "Gravity" which were both exponentially better than this recycled crap. This is the recycled garbage I'm constantly complaining about coming out of Hollywood. This recycled script only exists to get your $$. There is no new story. There is no twist. Its exactly what you think it is, and you'll feel like you're watching a remake of "Mission to Mars" Obviously only the hacks on the receiving end of your $$ are giving this 10 stars, what a joke. I love how the main spacecraft has gravity sometimes in some places, and not in others. That's a neat trick. LOL. I didn't pay to see this and I'm disgusted. If you pay, you'll be livid.

The Visit (I) (2015)

Very good thriller

[8/10 · 7 October 2015]

Never mind the bad reviews this movie got. Those people were posting to facebook through the entire movie. If you like scary movies that are smart, you'll like this. I don't want to give it away, but when the kids get to the grandparents things get progressively worse and darker by the day. This is the kind of movie that sends chills down your spine and is a real psychological thriller. Suffice it to say it has great creepy scenes, and great twists I never saw coming. That is so wonderful I can't explain it as I feel like most of what I watch today is nothing more than elements of movies I've seen before chopped up and recycled into a new crap movie. There is none of that here. I loved it, I'd watch it again, I'd recommend it to anyone who loves psychological thrillers. Also consider "Evil Things" which was good, but not as good as this was.

Self/less (2015)

Smart, relevant, refreshing

[9/10 · 5 September 2015]

Thank you. It feels like I've been waiting for years for a smart drama like this to come along. This movie has action, suspense, surprise, excitement, drama and ORIGINALITY. I felt like the director needed to wring a little more out of the actors' performances, especially Ryan Reynolds. When "Damian" first figures out what has happened, I needed a little more emotion from him. That's the reason it gets a 9. Glad to see him in serious role like this though. I don't think I've ever seen such an exciting drama that was also so touching. The only film I can even compare this to is "Extreme Measures" and this is leaps and bounds better than that. What else can I say, the movie was thoroughly satisfying and that's why I watch movies. Bravo.

True Detective (2014– )

Season 1 review

[5/10 · 17 August 2015]

This isn't bad for a 2 hour movie. Not enough material here for an 8 episode TV season. This suffers badly from a lack of editing. This show also suffers from excessive character development that does not contribute to the viewer understanding or appreciation of the story. Not sure why they went the narrative / b roll method, but I think it could and would work well if this were a 2 hour movie. Think "No Country for Old Men." With the excruciating inclusion of every pointless detail of the characters' lives, it seems beyond unnecessary. If you have a lot of time on your hands, you may want to watch this. For me episodes went by where I felt like nothing much happened and could have been edited out with relevant elements added to other episodes. Haven't watched Season 2 yet. Hoping its better.

Last Knights (2015)

Not bad, needs a twist

[7/10 · 16 August 2015]

So this flick gets 7 stars for a good but unoriginal plot, authentic period visuals if not linguistics, and a satisfying but predictable resolution. When Morgan Freeman speaks truth to power how can anyone not love that? If he would have delivered that monologue in the Emperor's palace with 1/2 of the passion he had in "Lean on Me" I would have gotten goosebumps. The main problem with this movie, as with most movies lately, is they suffer from an assembly-line formula script with no originality, twists or surprises. I'm pretty sure no one is writing scripts anymore and every movie is just elements taken from previous works with different actors and a new title.

Breaking Bad (2008–2013)

The best television show of all time

[10/10 · 16 August 2015]

So this is the one and only movie or television show I've ever given a 10. This is the best television show I've ever seen. Nothing else has ever rung more true than the script and performances in BB. Nothing more I can say about it. Perfect script, casting, acting, cinematography, foreshadowing, this is the benchmark now for TV and I'll be waiting for some ambitious genius to come along and try and take its heavyweight championship belt away. Watch it 2 or 3 times to take in all the juxtaposition and appreciate all the nuances. I'm not perceptive enough to catch it all the first time around. Bryan Cranston's extensive comedy experience lends just the right amount of levity to keep this drama true to life. Just go watch it. It's brilliant.

The Divergent Series: Insurgent (2015)

Bad, dull, un-original

[4/10 · 8 July 2015]

A 4 is probably generous. I'm getting sick of the Elysium genre and this is the same thing with the exception of some vivid dreams. The elites have sequestered themselves on the same planet this time. The plot is the elites can and do openly mind control everyone and segregate the population the way they think it should be separated, but some special people can't be mind controlled and have to be dealt with, by violence of course. Suffice it to say it gets weird. I mean weird. Goofy. Nonsensical. Unbelievable. All accurate descriptions of this out of control mess. I didn't see the first one, and now probably won't because I already want this 2 hours back.

The Lazarus Effect (2015)

Bad

[3/10 · 23 May 2015]

Not only was I never scared or surprised, its just a ripoff of Pet Semetary and / or Flatliners - only this is not in the same league with either of those 2 films. Pet Semetary was much scarier, Flatliners was much smarter and at the time it came out it was cutting edge originality. I'd recommend either of those films. I thought the killing scenes were stupid in this. The movie is a hodge podge of contrived scenes sloppily thrown together. Not nearly enough time was spent explaining the special sauce that makes reanimation possible, or any of the characters' backstories. I didn't care about any of them or what happened to them. With that plot weakness, and by failing to connect the danger in the movie with something that could affect me, there is no reason to be scared. The very end was extremely reminiscent of the original ending of Pet Semetary where the camera view changes to first person and the viewer sees a hand pushing up through a burial mound, only its not as good as that. Pet Semetary succeeded in both developing the characters backstories, so you cared about their terror, and in scaring the crap out of the viewer at the end by connecting the story to an implication for the viewer. This is regurgitated and rehashed material. I guess that's how you profit in movies today, don't hire writers, just steal elements of other movies and cram them together to get close to 90 minutes of footage.