Stanley39 Reviews

The Killer (2023)

More Inspector Cluseau than killer

[3/10 · 17 March 2024]

This movie was ridiculous. The first half hour is all about how this professional, methodical, cold blooded, expert killer sets up a kill from across the street from a Paris apartment. He prepares mentally. He exercises. He carefully assembles his sophisticated rifle and scope. He waits until his pulse drops to 60, expertly focuses the scope on his target, a man sitting on an armchair, and... shoots! Hitting a female stripper in the ass.

Well, he escapes, takes all kinds of airplanes under assumed names, very serious looking, a kind of a James Bond but more deadly. His next kill is a harmless taxi driver. Then he goes after his employer, shoots him with a nail gun, and kills his terrified secretary for no reason at all. Then he goes after his real enemy, who is guarded by a vicious dog, which he poisons, but the dog wakes up and nearly bites his in the butt. At last he kills a defenseless middle aged woman outside a restaurant. The guy is a mess.

Grave Encounters (2011)

Do this at your own risk

[8/10 · 1 August 2022]

I am a sophisticated adult. I have seen thousands of movies. I can watch zombies, vampires, serial killers, sharks, alligators. Snakes, demons,live beheadings without batting an eye. But holy crap this movie scared the bejeesus out of me to the point of having to pause it, going for a walk and a drink to calm down, before resuming watching. This is serious blood curdling stuff. You have been warned.

Rojo (2018)

So... so... are you trying to say something?

[4/10 · 9 May 2022]

This movie gives the impression that the director was trying to say something but didn't know how. He dances vaguely around the issue of Argentina's imminent takeover by a bloothirsty military dictatorship. It drops little hints, hints that are too remote and superficial to convey the message or, worse, make it appear to be banal. Perhaps the story itself was interesting? No, not even that.

The Killer in My Backyard (2021 TV Movie)

Predictable and mismatched

[3/10 · 20 June 2021]

This is one of the four or five standard plots that Lifetime movies follow over and over, and the final outcome could be predicted after the first 15 minutes, down to the lady kneeing the crazed armed killer in the junk in the final fight scene. But the biggest problem was the mismatch between the two main characters. She is older than him, and frankly not very attractive. It didn't feel real.

Close Quarters (2020)

Harsh but realistic story

[7/10 · 30 May 2021]

Yes, this could happen. It probably has happened. The movie doesn't dance around the issue and shows this tragedy in brutal and explicit scenes. It is raw, nasty, but once you start watching you have to see it through. The end is disappointing, because something more than just smashing and burning the cradle of the unborn baby has got to happen, but they leave it to our imagination. Not a fun movie to watch, but it will stay with you.

El inconveniente (2020)

no chemistry

[6/10 · 14 February 2021]

The friendship between the two women is at the heart of the movie and really the only subject. For that, they need to connect, and... they don't. The acting feels forced and unnatural, particularly Lola's. One gets the sense that the two actresses don't like one another. Cute story but fails in the execution.

1917 (2019)

Was this a cartoon?

[6/10 · 22 January 2020]

...is what I thought when the movie ended. Because this is what a cartoon about WWI would be like. Flat, one dimensional characters, a plot simple enough for a quick read, bad guys who are all slimy traitors (they stab you when you go pull them out of their own burning downed plane), and the traditional finish where the hero pulls off the difficult task. Think "Saving Private Ryan" with robot like, forgettable soldiers, accompanied by very loud soaring music to alert you of the upcoming shooting scene. I really wanted to like this movie but found it mediocre in all respects. Bah.

Fahrenheit 11/9 (2018)

Four great movies compressed into one good one.

[8/10 · 9 October 2018]

As a liberal Democrat and a Bernie Sanders voter I waited eagerly for this film and when it started, with a powerful narrative and re-creation of how the Trump phenomenon began and grew into the current scary presidency, I though Michael Moore had surpassed himself with this one. Unfortunately, then the movie goes on to cover several other more or less unrelated topics: the Flint water fiasco; the West Virginia teacher strike; and the Parkland, FL school shooting, and finally concludes with a somewhat clumsy attempt to parallel Hitler's and Trump's rise to power. Still, all of these separate themes are handled effectively, if a bit heavy handedly, by Moore, and the product is a powerful and thought provoking film that holds the viewer's attention regardless of political leaning. Many people in the audience shed a few tears, too.

Prey (I) (2007)

An uneven match

[4/10 · 5 October 2018]

The movie pits a number of large ravenous lions against people. Basically two groups: (a) three rugged local strong mern, lion hunters and/or guides, all equipped with high powered rifles and (b) three unarmed, adorable blond Americans, the soft spoken willowy mother figure, the pouty blond teenage girl and the cute little boy that needs to go poo poo. Now guess which set of 3 gets slaugtered and devoured by the lions, and which set of 3 survives unscathed, walking away from the massacre smiling and holding hands.

The Grey (2011)

Howling with laughter

[3/10 · 17 September 2017]

OK, so your commercial flight crashed in Alaska but luckily you and a few others are alive and fairly unscathed. There are, however, lots of scary, angry wolves hanging around. Do you: (a) set out on foot in -10 degree weather towards some scattered trees in the distance, pursued by the wolves all along, with no specific plan, or (b) stay by the plane, which should have a transponder and in any event will be the subject of a thorough search, being a commercial flight, and use the broken pieces of metal to make a secure zone to keep any wolves out, not to mention a lot easier to heat than being outdoors in a snowstorm? Movie says (a). They all die.

La Gunguna (2015)

Like a sharp, satisfying slap on the face

[9/10 · 21 August 2017]

This little jewel of a movie from an obscure director in an obscure film market, the Dominican Republic, has been compared to Pulp Fiction, mainly for the non-chronological order of the various vignettes and the astonishing violence and rawness of it. But a Pulp Fiction seeped in Caribbean parlance and customs. Viewing it is enough to form an idea of life in the slums of Santo Domingo. Interesting perspectives of race and prejudice, against blacks, Chinese, and even Dominicans by Puerto Ricans, enrich the sordid tale. And the premise, that a small .22 pistol once owned by Italian dictator Mussolini, would wind up in the Dominican Republic, becomes increasingly believable as the story unfolds. I have watched it over and over and seen new nuances in it every time. It is really more like Jackie Brown than Pulp Fiction. Admittedly it would lose a great deal in translation, but if you speak fluent Spanish, don't miss this movie.

Alien: Covenant (2017)

Star Dreck

[3/10 · 29 May 2017]

The plot reminded me of one of the least fortunate episodes of the original Star Trek, 1960s version, except that the characters are much more bland and uninteresting than Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock.

Space: the final frontier! These are the voyages of the spaceship "Covenant". Star date such and such. Following an intergalactic explosion that rocked the ship and caused minor damage, we received a signal from a nearby planet and decided (for no particularly good reason) to explore it. We sent down a party down armed with futuristic guns. Of course the planet is earth like and no space suits are needed. Needless to say, a monster attacks! Luckily, a mysterious caped man emerges from the ruins and leads us to safety. Unfortunately, some of our men have been infected and when we go back to the Ship, we must again battle the monster, which now comes in two varieties: classic Alien (cylinder shape head, snapping jaws, long tail) and Alien light (a skinny tall guy in a white bodysuit). The latter is somewhat harmless and he reaches up with his long skinny arms, kind of like E.T.

So in a nutshell there's the movie, except a subplot dealing with a father and son having long, tedious conversations and playing a flute (same actor, which makes it confusing to follow and the British accent doesn't help) and some bizarre nonsense about humans being descendants of monsters, wait a minute, is this Scientology? No, just a bad movie. Oh and needless to say, there's the classic low budget bad movie last twist to lay the foundation for Alien Covenant II but I will not be seeing that one.

Deadly Lessons (2017 TV Movie)

Mmhh, where did I see this movie before?

[2/10 · 18 March 2017]

Heroine young student is seduced by handsome professor. Loser ex- boyfriend kid and female best friend snoop on them. Heroine and professor are caught red handed and he is fired, and she elopes with him. All very romantic. They move into cabin with nearby neighbors who all know about the professor's dark past, two previous wives mysteriously disappeared. Hey, dude, why not move into a cabin on the other side of town instead?

Sounds familiar? Sure, because it is one of the five or so standard plots for Lifetime movies. Anything new in this one? No, not really. Heroine finally confronts hubby and he reveals all. Physical fight ensues. The young, small thin heroine knocks out the strong, fit, angry husband four times. Yes, four times! And in the last one she physically throws him off a bridge to his death. Really?

I worry about our young daughters who watch these movies and become convinced that they can overpower and kill strong, burly angry men in real life.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (2014)

good monkey vs bad monkey, good human vs bad human

[4/10 · 16 July 2014]

All the good human wants to do is to restart the power plant. The good monkey is OK with that, but the bad monkey worries (probably with good reason) that once the power plant is up, humans will kill off all the monkeys. So when the bad human starts shooting off a gun, the monkeys attack. That's the whole movie. Most of the monkeys are computer-generated except the main characters, who are still people in monkey suits. The whole movie seems to happen at night or inside dark buildings. The 3-D adds very little and could have been left out. Overall, boring, dark, and predictable. It is designed to be a prequel to one or two more profitable entries in the franchise.

Imagining Argentina (2003)

Shameful

[3/10 · 15 December 2004]

This was a bad movie on a very serious subject. The acting was awful (particularly Banderas, who is arguably the worst male actor ever) and the characters were cartoonish. Whoever directed this movie has obviously never been to Argentina and his mental image of the place is based on childhood memories of Speedy Gonzalez and Ricky Ricardo. Armed gauchos swooping down on Ford Falcon-driving oppressors and shooting them dead? Salsa music and plumed Carnaval carioca dancers in the streets? I thought any minute Zorro too would show up, bravely engaging the oppressors with his gay sword. This movie is offensive and an insult to the memory of those who died in the Dirty War. Shame on the directors and the cast.