Elmware Reviews

Quantum of Solace (2008)

Be prepared to do some reading

[8/10 · 14 November 2008]

Be prepared to read lots of translation subtitles if you don't understand the language being spoken (I believe it's Spanish.) The subtitle goes rather quickly too.

If you love to see action-packed car, boat and plane chases, guns blazing shoot-em-up fighting scenes with stunt work, or even a big blast, you won't be disappointed. This movie has all that for all you thrill seekers out there to enjoy.

The movie might be a bit hard to follow. Especially if you are unable to catch all the translation subtitles on the screen.

All in all, it wasn't a bad movie IMO. Can't wait until the next one.

The Simpsons Movie (2007)

Well worth seeing

[10/10 · 29 July 2007]

I went to see this movie with a buddy of mine on the second day at Cineplex in Maple Ridge using my free movie ticket I got from iCoke.ca. I have to say that if you like the typical Simpsons humor, you definitely won't be disappointed in this movie. The jokes in this movie are actually funny without being stupid or overused like most typical comedies do these days.

You will probably recognize a lot of the characters from the series in this movie.

I'd definitely recommend seeing this movie to anyone, unless they are my enemies :p

The Dukes of Hazzard: The Beginning (2007 TV Movie)

Not bad.

[6/10 · 28 March 2007]

I just got it yesterday and it's not bad but a couple things just didn't quite tie in with the 2005 movie or the series, like how the Duke boys first got the General Lee was told differently in an episode in season 7. The location of Uncle Jesse's still was somewhere else on the farm and one of the doors on the General Lee opened while the other was welded shut. Also, they had the Dixie horn in the car already, but in the 2005 movie, Cooter and his friends have it installed while they are fixing the General Lee up.

They only jumped the General Lee once in the whole movie. Even though it was a huge jump, it didn't seem very convincing.

Most of the characters were better suited for their role, and they even had a somewhat more goofier and silly Rosco, which is the Rosco that I liked in the series. I think Cooter was too weird though.

April Scott definitely looked way better than Jessica Simpson.

They even had some funny jokes worth laughing at in this movie.

Epic Movie (2007)

The things they waste celluloid on

[1/10 · 8 March 2007]

This movie was just horrible! There was hardly anything funny in it at all and the plots had more major holes in it than swiss cheese.

This movie was also too short and the only somewhat funny bits were in the trailer itself.

Don't waste your time and money on this rubbish. You'll get more laughs and entertainment out of beating yourself in the head with a sledgehammer while watching paint dry.

Thank God that I didn't actually pay to watch this filth. It only cost me a ticket from iCoke and and hour and a half of my life wasted.

This will go down as the worst movie in history.

Casino Royale (2006)

Not bad but not much to tradition.

[8/10 · 18 November 2006]

I watched this on the opening night and it was quite good but lacked a lot of the 007 traditions and not enough 007 theme music. No nude dancing chicks in the opening sequence, and where's Moneypenny?

Anyone who has followed the Bond series would know that Bond's game is Baccaret and not Poker. He also likes his Vodka Martinis shaken but not stirred, but instead he makes up this new drink.

The stunts didn't look ridiculously phony although I don't think some of them would be possible in real life.

Other than playing Poker, the mission wasn't much different than the other versions of Casino Royale made int he past.

There were some humorous clips. One of the jokes might be a bit crude but if you like that kind of humor it's funny as hell.

If you are expecting to see a bunch of Q-gadgetry in this film, you may find yourself in for a bit of a disappointment.

All-in-all I still liked it, but felt that some of the 007 traditions and more 007 theme music would have made it better.

Outrageous Fortune (1987)

Cheesy but funny as hell.

[10/10 · 16 December 2004]

This is one of my favorite movies. It is a little cheesy, but that's what makes it really funny. Bettey Midler and Shelley Long are hilarious together.

One of the funniest scenes is where they are in the whorehouse looking for Their boyfriend. They put their ears to the door, and hear sexual noise coming from the first door. When they put their ears to the second door, they hear a goat. Finally, they recognize his "Oh God, Oh God, Oooooh Yeeeeeeah!" as he passes out.

There are many other hilarious scenes in this movie. If you're in the mood for a good laugh, you will not be disappointed in this movie.