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Reviews
Man of Tai Chi (2013)
Sorry Mr Reeves, you need more original material
Maybe it was intentional that the whole movie was filled with clichés but it was even worse because not only was the storyline Direct To Video material, the script was boring too and unoriginal.
Perhaps Keanu had spent too much time in the Matrix and thought that he had popped the red pill when in actual fact, it was the blue one that he had swallowed.
Fight scenes were so reminiscent of those from the Matrix movies and did Keanu get Chen Hu to even stand like the way he did in the Matrix movies or was that unintentional? Either way, it's a fun movie for a boring night when you're too lazy to go out but nah, work harder, Mr Reeves. You're a good actor. Don't spoil it with rubbish like this one.
The Heat (2013)
Crap! Total crap!!!
There have been a few movies which I haven't watched till the end but those were because they were boring. This one, I stopped halfway because it was just plain AWFUL!!! YUCKS! SUCKS! CRAP! DOGPOO! And the list goes one. The plot is so boring and worn to the point of extinction and yet some dummies used it again. There's no chemistry between the characters especially between Laurel and Hardy and the nerdy cop / bad cop thing had been done better (at least comic relief wise) by many other actors. Looking at the majority of the reviews, I sure am not alone in my views. I really can't believe that this movie had actually been made and released so if you will, please excuse me. I need to puke again!
Dredd (2012)
Stallone IS Dredd
Entertaining but the Stallone one was better. His ego was right, his scowl was right, the uniform was right, the darkness of the sets was right, his size was right, his stature was right, his voice was right and the bike was right.
You can't just put anybody into the uniform (or what was hoped to be passed off as a Judge's uniform) and call him Dredd. In the scenes with more than one Judge, you didn't know who was who at times because physically, Urban just didn't stand out. The producers should have at least made him eat a few steaks a day for a few months to beef him up.
Guess someone thought that he could do a Nolan and put a comic book character into a backdrop of modern day U.S.A. and try to fool us that that was Mega-City One. It worked in Batman because there was so much more going on there to keep us glued.
Anyway, I wonder how it would have turned out if the Stallone one had the budget of this one.
You Move You Die (2007)
Worth watching
Pretty good movie overall in the sense that the story keeps moving and there's no soppy love scenes to slow things down. Acting was alright too and most of the actors / actresses were convincing. Ketzal's outbursts and coined phrases added that little bit of humour and if you just watched it at face value, you'd never have guessed the ending. Looks like this is a Quentin Tarantino or Guy Ritchie in the making. Just too bad he didn't come up with anything like this after. I've watched it a few times and will definitely recommend it to anyone looking for a 'light' movie or simply to find out what a knob jockey is.
The Art of Pain (2008)
What the hell is Hollywood producing?
What nonsense is The Art of Pain? An art movie which no one is supposed to understand or what? The plot was stupid, the acting plastic and dialogue clichéd. Come to think of it, there wasn't a plot at all. I paused every now and then to wonder whether I was watching a comedy, a thriller, an action movie or something written by an 8 year old to cheer his mum for her birthday party. This movie is not only not worth the film it took to record it, it's not even worth the paper used for the draft. There's only one way to go for the people involved after making a movie like this and that's down. All the way down to movie nowhereland.
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
The day rubbish fell to Earth.
One of the best examples in 2008 of how Hollywood is able to force garbage down the throats of moviegoers by utilizing big names. What was this movie supposed to prove? That one can totally ruin a decent storyline by watering it down with total nonsense and not bothering to even make the events in it credible? If Klaatu was an alien and can connect to machines, why the hell can't he get a car or a bike or a plane to fly him back to the park? Or why can't he get the robot to come to him? And if you want a human to pass off as an alien, at least get him to act like one. This is one of Keanu's worst movies. A lot of his actions were right off the Matrix trilogies where he tried to act all stiff sometimes. Contrary to what most folks say, Will Smith's kid did good because if you hate the little brat, that means he sure acted well enough as a little brat. ;)
Bob Saget: That Ain't Right (2007)
Did he really need the money so bad?
Watched it and not only was I not impressed, I was disgusted. Enough to junk it. What I like to do to chill out is to put on a standup show and just lie on the bed and listen. The greats like George Carlin, Eddie Murphy, Bill Cosby and even Chris Rock. Those are entertaining. And once in a while, Andrew Dice Clay amuses too but Bob Saget takes the cake for being the worst comic I've ever heard. Jerry Seinfeld is monotonous but he does throw in some intelligent ones every now and then in his shows. Watching Bob Saget brought me back to my school days when we had this total nerd in class. One day, he started doing profanities, flinging around the F word every sentence or two just to fit in with the rougher guys. Sounds EXACTLY like Bob, huh? ;) Did Mr Saget have something to prove? His delivery sucked too so I guess I'll have to salute his memory because that sure sounded like what he was doing. Reciting the entire show by heart. Unwatchable. Even Van Damme movies are more interesting.
Highlander (1986)
Yucks!
Watched this movie when it first came out many years ago in the late 80s. Watched the director's cut recently and realized that the whole movie was horrible. The acting was OK but the swordfighting scenes were so amateurish and even more so when I found out that Bob Anderson was the choreographer. Whoever came up with the little 'facts' about that ugly dragon headed 'katana' obviously did not do his or her homework. A true Japanese sword has more than 1000 layers even at its minimum, not 200 as mentioned in the movie. The average person can learn to use a sword with some skill within a year but it's hilarious to watch men who've supposedly been around for hundreds and hundreds of years swinging their swords around worst than kids fighting with sticks. The long camera pans were good and gave depth to the scenes but after a while, I started feeling that they shouldn't have given the director's chair to a person who was more used to directing music videos.
Jamie Foxx: I Might Need Security (2002)
Horrible waste of time
If I were him, I'd have just gotten off the stage and run for cover after changing names. It's total crap. The audience was lovely and they were doing their best to continue laughing despite the poor jokes. Wonder who taught him to repeat the same thing again and again after it'd failed the first time. Did he think that the audience couldn't catch what he was saying? He should learn from the true greats like George Carlin or even Chris Rock. His fake accents were lousy too. Really tiring to watch and even more tiring to just listen to. Sure sounded like a talk show at times because the laughter was so sparse. Everyone was quiet and I guess the only reason they laughed was because it was someone famous on stage. This is one show you shouldn't waste your time on unless you're really really really into Jamie Foxx.
Spawn (1997)
Not bad
I was thinking that this movie had a fair plot but the special effects were really good for its time. Done by ILM if I'm not wrong. The weapons coming out from his armor or body were super cool, especially his chains and his ability to morph.
The only special effect that didn't come through as realistic was the part where Spawn's cloak was flowing around the actors when he jumped down through the skylight and landed in the ballroom.
Other than that, this was a great movie (despite the weak plot) with special efforts. It'd be great if someone could do a sequel with today's CGI.