TheProteanGirl Reviews

Jungle Cruise (2021)

First Disney Movie in a While That's Not Bad!

[7/10 · 12 August 2021]

I was shocked at how, with the way Disney is going with wokeness, this movie was actually natural. All the cast was well cast and played convincing parts, and the story was fun and lighthearted and reminded me of Pirates of the Caribbean and Indiana Jones fusion. I'm really proud of Disney for making a fun movie for once in a long time with not many cringy moments and pauses like they do nowadays. Overall, very nice.

Black Widow (2021)

A Big Meh

[4/10 · 14 July 2021]

A this point superhero movies need to find something unique to go on (which is much easier said than done) because it's becoming really formulaic. Personally, it was a Marvel movie which you could swap the name with another and no one would know, there wasn't much uniqueness to. The CGI in my opinion was badly done, looked choppy and rushed. The characters were all female, not a single man other than David Harbour who in my opinion portrayed a Russian the best out of them all but whose onoy role was a comic relief character and not an actual standalone hero or villain to fight. I get they want to empower women and all that but this isn't how you do it. In all honesty, they are laughing at women in my opinion because if you need a movie with only all women to empower them then this is not representative of real life. If we get a movie of all women then men should get one too. The whole ending seemed like a way to shove the whole "liberate yourselves women" in people's face, it's just so blatant and unsubtle it makes you cringe. I'm a woman and I was rolling my eyes at these scenes. Scarlet Johansen didn't even seem like the main character of this movie tbh. Also, lack of action, I was getting bored. I felt like I saw a drama instead of a fantasy superhero movie. It was entertaining nonetheless, but not worth the hype at all in my opinion, as it has nothing unqiue or memorable about it and the one thing you watch these movies for, the action, isn't even really there.

Human: The World Within (2021– )

Scientist's Perspective

[5/10 · 5 July 2021]

As a biochemist, I always love to watch documentaries like this because there is always something new you can learn. However, I spotted what many already mentioned from the "React" episode. You can tell this is a film with an agenda. Every other scene has to be woke. Something that made me even more angry is that they brought in a chiropractor as a "source" of information instead of a physiotherapist for that massaging scene. For those who don't know Chriopractory is based on pseudoscience (it's a whole topic you can search about). These people don't know anything and yet they ask their opinion. First docu series I see with this kind of factually incorrect thing in it. Another thing, they let the biomedical engineer girl talk waaay more than the actual neuroscientists, which is very weird to me since they are the most knowledgeable on the brain. Didn't go into any history, very superficial anatomy and information (as others mentioned) as well. The only reason I like it is that it talks about biomedical topics in a video medium with real life examples, which is enjoyable to watch, no doubt. I just wish they would've taken it more seriously and checked certain things.

Top Gear (2002–2022)

This 10 Is For The Old Top Gear With Clarkson

[10/10 · 26 June 2021]

Say what you want, I love cars as well, and that aspect of the show was definetly informing and entertaining but the heart, soul and appeal of this show was Jeremy Clarkson. He kept the humour funny, and elevated May and Hammond in ways another TV host just couldn't have done justice. I watched this show for such a huge part of my life growing up, and the guy was always consistently good and just a unique smart kind of funny which you don't get often on any TV show. Too bad the BBC replaced him with whoever it was (I don't even know). The second they got rid of Clarkson, they ruined the show in my opinion. Clarkson did a stupid thing by punching the producer but they knew he brought in views and should've hashed it out and continued for the show's sake. Fans probably lost interest too and only die hard car fans stayed just for the sake of car news and information (nothing wrong with that just not the same anymore).

Game of Thrones (2011–2019)

Still Mad At Season 8 Garbage

[9/10 · 3 February 2021]

This show was great. Had everything you liked in medival setting film. I liked everything and was so into the whole idea of Bron being on some cool adventourus path and that the directors will make it some co stoyline how he will save everyone with his visions and so on. Boy was I wrong. I watched season 8 live when it came out and I was in utter shock. How could dumb and dumber have been so lazy and ruined such a huge part of their lives and the biggest show in the world at the time because they had other projects??! I just hate those two because now the season 8 is set in stone and will forever tarnish this shows good rep. They just wrapped it and went home, no care on the shows legacy. I wish the ending wouldve been something epic, so sad and mad it wasn't.

Blue Streak (1999)

So Funny!

[8/10 · 3 February 2021]

This is a casual lighthearted typical funny Martin Lawrence classic movie so no need to overanalyse. Literally him and Chapelle made this movie so funny. I was really entertained and that was the second time I watched this movie!

Bad Boys (1995)

Lighthearted and Funny!

[9/10 · 18 January 2021]

This was a really entertaining movie to watch for me. I found Martin Lawrence so funny and it was overall just a chill movie. Quality wise in the plot is just meh with a lot of action, but funny.

Poirot (1989–2013)

Just the best of the best

[10/10 · 17 January 2021]

I love love love this show. I have seen it so many times in different periods of my life with different people growing up and now, that it brings fond memories. Suchet is the best possible guy they could've cast for Hercule and he plays it so well. Hastings and all the other chatacters too are just perfectly cast. The story rendition front he books (which ive read) to the tv show is fantastic. They did such justice to the books. They got all the details, the suspense, everything, and it is truly so fun to watch. The cases in this show are incomparable to other crimes series as here they have a very observant and intellectual flare to them which I love, and wish I could forget the series to watch it again and guess. Just amazing, one of the best TV shows in history, period.

Fatal Affair (2020)

Generic Movie

[4/10 · 17 January 2021]

This movie literally has no character, but if you can tell yourself that it's a generic already-been-done movie, you'll enjoy it a bit at least in the moment. The characters are unlikable. Even the main character is just so stupid and has this dumb expression on her face the whole movie. She tells us her husband and her had a rough patch and he says it too (when he's golfing) but nothing is developed on (as you'd expect). Many awkward scenes where acting isn't that good and flowy. I could go on.

The WORST and stupidest part though is that ending. Really? Really?! She would SAVE the guy that nearly killed her family and killed many people??! Who are you bs-ing here producers, what kind of ending is that? They are just having a laugh at that point if they think anyone with a braincell would save the guy trying to stalk and kill you, what an insult to the viewer!

Act of Valor (2012)

Dunno why the reviews of this are bad

[8/10 · 16 January 2021]

Reading reviews here before you watch would've made you believe this was a horrible movie. I did just that but disagree with anyone saying this is a bad movie. There are plot holes and things that werent developped on much but it's a nice and heartwarming movie with a nice ending. I like how it's filmed in a realistic manner. It's as though it's nearly a documentary that is dramatised because they have very realistic dialogues and scenes. The one thing people are right about is that this movie is literally "Call of Duty" campaigns. Everything from the layout to jumping back and forth between countries and even some specific scenes are exactly as COD's campaign. I for one loved that because I loved the campaigns in COD.

Overall a really touching movie with a good message and dedication to veterans which is very sweet. Worth a watch!

The Ninth Gate (1999)

Could've Been Amazing!

[7/10 · 12 January 2021]

The premise and mood of this movie were amazing. This is the exact type of thing I like to see in thrillers. However, it really could've been better executed.

Firstly, the girls' role is never really explained. Who is she? Why is she helping him? She has these levitation and eye magical abilities so she's clearly not human but then is she the devil or his helper? I wish they would've, in the end at least, told us who she is because we don't know for sure and that is annoying.

Secondly, they put all this effort in focusing on these "gates", and the books, and how they differ only to leave the viewer empty handed in the end on what it all means. What was the point of him writting the LCF and AT on that paper? What was he getting at? What is the meaning of the differences in the images of the different books? Everything is so cool and intriguing but nothing is explained in the end, leaving it completly up to the viewer. I know online and from the book there is an explanation but I wish the directors would've clarified it in the end. Otherwise it all kind of seems pointless.

They had this great and unique topic, a rare book, something I've never seen a topic of a thriller before, but they messed it up. I think they were planning a sequel but it never happened. Eitherway, it was more lackluster than you'd expect a movie of this type to be. I really expected more and was dissapointed by the lazy attempt at concluding the story.

Likhach (2020– )

Meh

[6/10 · 12 January 2021]

I like Panfilov in other titles and his character was ok in this one too. The one thing I find so stupid about this show is the fact the directors think they are convincing anyone that he would chose that old lady over the prettier girl who works with him, and is much better in attitude and appreciation of him. I know in Russia they cast people based on connections and stuff but the woman playing the lover of Panfilov is so unlikable, stupid (keeps going to a married man and Panfilovs character knows and accepts this? Really?) and so old looking. She wasn't well cast and was so cold and annoying. Should've ended up with the younger girl, who really liked and cared for him and had life in her. I felt no chemistry whatsoever between Panfilov and Irina Anatolina.

Story was average, just your average crime cases, nothing unique. The plot in the beggining gets kind of lost throughout the story until the end, they should've made bigger effort to connect everything more consistantly.

Boys and Girls (2000)

Couldve been cool

[5/10 · 12 January 2021]

Honestly, the premise isn't bad, not unique, but not bad. It starts off really awkward and all, like you don't like any of the characters. I found it kind of cringy at how they portrayed the guy as this nerdy stereotype unable to be flexible and super rigid in life. Yes, it happens, but no guy would act that way imo. Also, I find the girl wasn't well cast. She looks older and not suited to the role of the girl she was playing. For me, it didn't immerse me and get me all interested in the relationship between these two. Both seemed full of themselves tbh. Plot was also dragged on and boring, going over the same things again and again. It lacked action and oumpf. Ending was ok, but predictable. Overall weird and could've been better executed but subject was good for a romance movie. Just seemed kind of improvised at times.

The Office (2005–2013)

Cringe and Immature

[1/10 · 6 December 2020]

Subtelty and smart comedy is thrown out the door in this. Everything is big, loud and obnoxious. It feels awkward and not natural, almost like they are forcing viewers to laugh by making immature and blantantly "in your face" jokes. It has no deeper substance to understand, it's just word vomit comedy. Even a 5 year old could make some of the jokes this sitcom makes. Without laugh tracks you'd see just how cringe it is. At the core this is a show full of immature jokes and redundant episodes trying to do everything to milk every possible scene in an office setting.

You want a smart show watch "The IT Crowd" or good comedians doing standup, don't waste time with this. You can also watch the British version which is slightly better. Brits usually do comedy very well unlike Americans, most times because they have actual value in their comedy. They originated this show before Americans copied the idea.

Idc if people dislike this, as I'm sure anyone criticizing the "best" comedy show will definetly not get tones of upvotes. There are so many diehards of this show but this is my opinion.

Escape Room (II) (2017)

Enjoyable but stupid

[4/10 · 29 November 2020]

I enjoyed watching it because I knew I'm not getting a masterpiece. These types of movies are always, substance-wise, garbage and offer very little unique-ality. I love escape rooms and the puzzles and the movie actually had some good ones which I WISH would've been more of a centerpiece in the story. They should've wrapped up that endlessly long and boring intro of the van driving and the restaurant scene (which lets be real, didn't really develop any of the characters much) and instead focused more on the puzzles and that eerieness of the rooms, which is what I think most watch these for. That was the only good thing in this movie I'd say. The rest, like acting, unlikable characters, lack of character development (like what happened between the birthday boy and Anderson's wife?), etc was terrible. Also, too slow development, you're halfway through and nothing's happened yet in an 1:30h movie. They should've developed in plot what they saved on sets and stuff. Which was pretty simple to make for a big studio, I assume. Again, a rushed, not well thought out movie. Probably not high budget either considering the acting was ok. Could've been good though, the topic is a fun one for horror movies.

The Queen's Gambit (2020)

A Good Show

[9/10 · 14 November 2020]

Other than the Hollywood-esque cheesy ending which I saw coming miles away, I thought this show was great. I wish they would've showed the chess a little more, being a player of chess since i was young id have loved to see that, but I understand it would be boring for the regular watchers of the show to see too much dragged on games. She was apparently mimicking the style of Garry Kasparov in certain moments which, if true, is really cool. I think the balance of the chess and her emotional chaos in her life is great, the actors were well cast and story develops really well in a good pace. Worth a watch, especially for chess lovers, I mean I haven't seen a show on chess before so thats cool.

Mindhunter (2017–2019)

Good show but some comments

[9/10 · 27 October 2020]

I think this show is great. The era, the topic (which is a unique show topic), the realness of the characters, all great.

However I found somethings really badly written: 1) Holden's relationship. I find the relationship was never convincing to me. Seemed like they never had time with each other and when they did she didn't like him much. Then the biggest idioticism, when Holden catches her cheating and then we get this half ass scene where they look at each other (and assumed they talked) And then they are back together??!! I did not get that at all. I kept saying "wth is she still doing with him and talking like nothing happened somehow"?? Absolute stupiditiy from the writer's part to not develop on that more, that was bad. 2) Sometimes scenes are drawn out too much and get too real. Like they will say something then it seems like the answers are improv or smth because it doesn't seem scripted enough.

I was binging this show so much though and im so mad at the producer saying it might take years to make a show everyone likes so much. Like don't start a project if you dont want ro follow through. Make the next season now please!

Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga (2020)

Cringe, Could've Been Good

[3/10 · 28 September 2020]

I love Will Ferrell, I love Eurovision, I loved some of the songs and I'm happy they chose Iceland as the country since you don't see them in movies much, that is just about all I love about this movie. I find it was waaay too cringy and trying to appeal to younger kids, some scenes I just couldn't even watch it was so awkward and forced.

Stranger Than Fiction (2006)

Love it!

[9/10 · 28 September 2020]

I've watched this movie twice throughout a span of many years and each time I really like it. It has a pretty unique plot and has very good moral takeaways about how you have to do what you love in life not tomorrow, but today because time is short. Very offbeat acting from Will Ferrell considering he does always goofy dumb style comedies and here it's more serious and dramatic. I find it's a really great and somewhat heart-warming movie.

Tenet (2020)

Enjoyable but has plotholes

[5/10 · 28 August 2020]

I'm so confused about something. Just like they teach in chemistry if you break a glass there's a million particles everywhere of said broken glass, to reverse that you'd need to do the EXACT (mirror) same thing in a backwards motion to redo the action so how is this possible in the movie? When the protagonist is fighting hinself from the past in that freeport room with the 3 bullets in the glass he isn't doing the reverse of what he did he is just defending hinself against himself to get through (outside) to see Neil bring Kat who is now saved. This makes no sense to me, idk if I'm missing something. Also, how unrealistic is it to expect hin to remember every fight move he did in the forward direction to do it backwards?? They chuck it up to instinct but never explain wth that even means... Just a feeling but ok what is that feeling is it a superpower or something? Makes no sense.

Also, if Neil just meets the protagonist in the future but dies after meeting him in that bomb area where we see the string how can the consistency of the theme of infinite loops (which is what this movie is alluding to at one point protagonist says to the indian woman "you have to stop thinking linearly") be possible? He died there so how would he "un-die" to then reverse again and meet him in the future? Neil is basically going in reverse since he met the protagonist? So how does that work when he switches while hes with the protagonist in different scenes? They play around with grandfather paradoxe but then show that fate is kinda playing a part here because Neil changes direction from when he leaves the helicopter with blue team and saves the protagonists life by shooting the guy at the gate of the detonation and in turn dying himself there.

Idk I read explanations but I'm still lost. Maybe it's cause I question everything and the more complexe stuff you delve in the more plotholes it generally has (I mean this fantasy and wishy washy pseudo-science as explanations on how this time thing originated they chuck it up to "we don't know someone in the future does don't question it"). I get it's Nolan, it's still a cool movie and all and I loved many others of his a lot, but when you get into these questions it becomes clear there's many plotholes (beyond what I mentioned as well). Enjoyable, but not consistent (imo).

Ghost of Tsushima (2020 Video Game)

As near perfect as it gets

[10/10 · 27 August 2020]

I literally cried in some of the scenes of this game and spoiler alert, I've played A LOT or rpgs and games and not one has made me cry. The characters, scenic paysage, storyline, interface, GRAPHICS (wow! Just look at the realism of the hair and fur!) And just how damn movie-like this game was to play was so phenomenal. All this and no forced-down-your-throat social politics and stuff. It was all natural and historically acurate in its portrayal. Other studios should take note!

Superpower Dogs (2019)

Great Documentary

[10/10 · 13 August 2020]

I loved it, was really emotionally moving to see these dogs that do so much and the visuals were superb in imax.

The Invisible Man (I) (2020)

Enjoyable!

[7/10 · 12 August 2020]

It's nothing new or special but I really liked it. I'm a harsh critic usually but this one wasn't bad. Had some good twists and turns, good cinematography and music. Plot was like any other horror movie. Overall worth a watch for serial horror fans.

Money Heist (2017– )

A fair review among many extremes

[8/10 · 22 March 2020]

I rate this show an 8, not for its quality, but because when I watched it I undeniably enjoyed the action and romance. It reminded me a lot of Breaking Bad/Dexter in the sense that it was an endless mistake/fix mistake/mistake/fix mistake loop where we are hoping the main character, el profesor, doesn't get caught and identified.

Before I list some stuff (because a lot of reviews did a far better job than me of listing flaws and plot holes in depth) I want to mention that this show might've been better if instead of filming it as the robbery happening, then the occaisonal flashbacks, they should've opened with the robbery first episode then spent a season going through how they planned it, then the next the execution of the robbery, then the next the boiling point/being caught or whatever. I think that directing approach would've made it better because the bits-and-pieces we get of flashbacks, yes are well placed throughout, but make us not really relate to the characters as much. I fell that should've been built upon first.

As for the flaws, I have a hard time believing any police force, unless amature, would mess up this much. The whole thing with Angel leaving voivemails that were coincidentally delivered everywhere except where it counts was super fake. The fact the profesor had a chance to fix each of those mistakes is unlikely, like he would have to physically be in so many places at once to do that and it doesn't add up. The main girl, tokyo, had no place in that team. She's super erratic and never used logic once. I don't know what the profesor saw in her that would help them considering he's so smart. The shoot downs between police and thieves didn't make sense. They were always injured everywhere except fatal organs and how the hell did tokyo get in with that bike? It made no sense, like they missed everything on her, not even a tire was grazed by a force of trained ops.

What I like though were the love-triangles, the actors played well (except for some side characters like Ariadne and also Tokyo). Me and my boyfriend have so far enjoyed binging it very much. I haven't enjoyed a show like this in a while (relative to others) but it is far from perfect. I'm also usually someone who doesn't watch American trash movies and brainless tv-shows. This isn't American but it had the essence of the filmography Hollywood does.

I have to be fair and this is what I thought looking from the bad and good sides.

Monster (2004–2005)

Amazing Philosophical Anime!

[7/10 · 15 March 2020]

I find animes with philosphical/moral questioning and thought provoking narratives take a backseat too many times to these cringy high school "sexy" animes or fighting animes like Naruto. This anime is phenomenal, has great development, characters, plot-twists, etc... Yes, it's a bit long but I binged this anime and I don't regret it, still in my top 3 of all time.