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seljangryphon
Reviews
Fatherhood (2021)
I see what they tried to do, but...
So they tried to replace a man with a woman in a single parenting situation. It just doesn't work. Thanks, Kevin Hart... I used to think I liked you. As he says himself in the movie, "it's cats and dogs!" Yes, it is. Please stop trying to race/gender swap all of the time. It's not the answer. I'm only writing this last bit because I have to I order to qualify for the length of this review, which is ridiculous to begin with. Why is a woman's expected to know how to ch age diapers when a man isn't? Many women I know did not or do not. Is that funny? If so, why or why not? If you wanted to go down the patriarchy rabbit hole, is that enough? If you wanted to draw attention to plight of single moms, is that enough? I don't know what this movie is trying to do. It just sucks on all fronts and falls short. If you can't talk about something meaningfully, just don't at all.
Nature Boom Time! (2016)
I see what they tried to do, but...
It's executed poorly. Especially for younger kids, it's not that interesting. My seven-year-old, who likes most nature and science shows was kind of bored and I could see why. Firstly, as a former producer, I hated the narration. It sounds like sped-up slurred speech. It's unclear, mostly monotone, and someone else should be doing the speaking. Not everyone who has good ideas is a good presenter. Sorry, Charlie Engelman. Please slow down and enunciate. Also, I don't really want my seven-year-old speaking like a pre-teen yet, saying things like "that's sick," or "pretty legit." Sorry, dudes. I see that they're trying to make the show accessible for a wider audience by using teen slang, but focusing on better narration would have helped more with this. As a science teacher in the present, if I lectured in this same style in a public school classroom (and this show did feel a lot like watching lectures) I would lose the attention of most of the kids in a short time. Also, forget about your words being understood by most kids who aren't native English speakers. It's just OK, if your kid is American, a native English speaker, and a bit older.
Salem (2014)
Great show, but...
I really enjoyed the show. It's likely what a lot of tourists would wish actually happened in Salem. The storyline was great and didn't slow down toward the end, as many series seem to suffer from such bad fortune. However, some of the casting choices made me wonder. Elise Eberle's unbearably awkward overacting, for example, in the role of Mercy Lewis was nauseating to watch most of the time. Honestly, with the exception of this poor casting choice, it's a great series. I suggest you give it a try. Sorry to Eberle, who may be good in other roles. I can't say. But she's far from having nailed this one, sadly :(
Who Killed Santa? A Murderville Murder Mystery (2022)
10/10 for Bateman... Maya Rudolph shouldn't do improv
Jason Bateman had some hilarious moments. He's amazing at improv. Maya Rudolph was awkward and clunky, and just kind of overacting for comedic effect, but wasn't able to pull it off, in my opinion. I don't think that she and Jason Bateman play well off of each other, at least when it comes to improv comedy. I would like to see the original series, which I have not. I think that having three detectives working on solving the case also sort of makes it weird and not funny. And why does the last guy (Pete Davidson) arrive so late in the investigation? He was not at ALL funny, by the way. There are pieces missing since different characters arrived at different times, which would have made it impossible for them to solve the case, anyway.
Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio (2022)
May be interesting for some... not for kids
A pointlessly "darker" version of a beloved classic. Definitely not made for young children. This would make a very depressing family movie to sit through for nearly two hours. Is it artful and well-made? Sure. I'm just confused as to whom exactly it is made for. My very mature seven-year-old sat through it and enjoyed it, but was left with a lot of questions. The only reason I allowed us to sit through it is that it was among her Netflix content, which has a 7+ filter (though I need to ban a lot of content even with that filter in place). My friend's much more sensitive seven-year-old would undoubtedly be in tears pretty quickly, even two years from now. So, if not a family film, I don't know what kind of a film this is. I've mixed feelings about del Toro's work, but ultimately, I think he should probably stay away from "family" films.
First Kill (2022)
I really wanted to like this, but...
I love vampire shows and movies and the whole supernatural creature genre. But this show is soooo bad! I don't know what's worse, the terrible writing or the terrible acting. I appreciate what they tried to do with the LGBTQ, multicultural aspects. But hiring better actors and a better script should have been more important. I was bored out of my mind after three episodes.
Dexter: New Blood (2021)
Please, please, please continue the series!
This is my first review, although I've rated things for years. Dexter was my favourite show ever years ago and watched in real time for years. New Blood is just as good, if not better. Michael C. Hall is amazing in any role but both the old and new cast of Dexter are so good! The storyline keeps you on your toes. Anyone who doesn't like this show just doesn't get it. Don't listen. Watch for yourself rather than passing on this amazing masterpiece due to bad reviews. All I want for Christmas is for Dexter to continue. It's just way too good to stop. Please, please, please continue the series!
Dexter: New Blood (2021)
Please, please, please continue the series!
This is my first review, although I've rated things for years. Dexter was my favourite show ever years ago and watched in real time for years. New Blood is just as good, if not better. Michael C. Hall is amazing in any role but both the old and new cast of Dexter are so good! The storyline keeps you on your toes. Anyone who doesn't like this show just doesn't get it. Don't listen. Watch for yourself rather than passing on this amazing masterpiece due to bad reviews. All I want for Christmas is for Dexter to continue. It's just way too good to stop. Please, please, please continue the series!