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Reviews
Drive Thru (2007)
More hilarious killer clown mayhem
I don't know why this film has gotten such bad reviews. A typical revenge horror movie, the villain in this movie is hilarious, bumping off a cast of horrible actors who truly deserve the bloody vengeance that is dealt out to them. And this movie has one of the hottest lead actresses ever. While the acting by most of the actors involved is substandard b grade, there are a few that aren't that bad plus, who wouldn't enjoy watching morgan spurlock getting brutally murdered? Clowns are just scary to begin with, and make great, funny villains, as movies such as "killjoy" "killer klowns from outer space," "stephen king's it," "clownhouse", and many others have shown. Check this out.
ThanksKilling 3 (2012)
Wtf......
I was a fan of the first thankskilling but this....this was just barely unwatchable crap. Coning off as an even more messed up wondershowzen on super crack, I barely made it thru the first half of this sequel, wondering why I had waited so long to see this, or why I even wanted to see it so badly. turkey barely makes an appearance in the first half, instead focusing on a family full of idiots, and a puppet who is literally searching for her mind. The second half, where turkey makes his appearance and massacre people who truly deserve it, barely makes up for the first half. This movie should have been like the fictional second thankskilling, and every copy destroyed, leaving only the first thankskilling. Get the first movie, and don't waste ur time or money on this. Im glad I watched this for free on my tablet.
Killjoy Goes to Hell (2012)
Outstanding full moon effort
A fan of the killjoy series, I was incredibly impressed with this fourth installment in the series. It had almost A list acting, compared to most full moon movies, and the special effects were more impressive than in previous installments. Killjoy is as evil and hilarious as ever, and they give him just a tad bit of humanity in this, which was something lacking in the other movies. That doesn't mean it tones down on the mayhem tho. The only real complaint that I have, is that somehow everybody believes in killjoy. But the beginning nicely ties all the previous movies to this. Killjoy also has a whole new entertaining posse to join in in his carnage. All in all an excellent movie and a good way to kill a little over an hour and a half.
Zombi 2 (1979)
The granddaddy of them all
If your a fan of zombie movies and have never seen this, RUN, don't walk, to wherever you get your movies from, and purchase it. While made in a different country and directed by a different director, this is a somewhat "sequel" to George A Romero's original Night of the living dead. While there are a few horribly slow parts, this movie is FULL of gore and plenty of zombies. This movies gore is legendary and there are several infamous scenes that HAVE to be seen to be believed. SPOILER ALERT: those scenes being the wooden splinter thru the eye of a helpless woman, and the underwater battle between a zombie and a REAL shark. I don't think any if those scenes have ever been attempted in another movie since. while some of the overdubbing is done horribly and hilariously in spots, this movie is a definite must see for zombie fans, gore fans, or just fans of good horror movies.
Bad Grandpa (2013)
Just alright
I think jackass has run out of steam. After three previous movies and now this, its just tired. Watching grown men act like immature idiots just isn't that funny anymore. With knoxville being the only original member of the jackass movies appearing in this, it seems that his cohorts have grown tired of it as well, and none appear or even make a guest appearance.as of late, knoxville himself has become sort of an actual movie star, branching away from his jackass roots and appearing in movies like "last man standing" and several others that I cant think of at the moment. While this movie did provide some amusing moments, the funniest ones are shown in the preview for the movie. So if you've seen the previews, you don't need to see the movie. Trying to turn a few jackassish stunts into a movie with a plot and story just doesn't work as well as you would think.
Planet Terror (2007)
Incredible
This is one of my favorite movies, and in my opinion, one of Tarantino's best films. Its hilarious, has plenty of action,gore,violence.....and zombies. It also has plenty of big names in it, including Tarantino, and you can tell that they all had fun making it. In terms of comparison, i'd put it back to back with from dusk till dawn, replacing that films vampires with the afore mentioned zombies. Its just as over the top, if not a little more so. The only real complaint I have, is the little scratching noises, the parts that are supposed to look like they were over exposed, and every once in awhile, the card that would come up with "scene missing" on it. Yes, as I said I know this was all done deliberately, to make it look like a drive in movie, but it still became annoying after awhile. This movie is worth seeing just to see the fate of Tarantino's character, and the infamous "melting dick" scene.
Ritual (2002)
This should have stayed in the crypt
As a kid, I was rabid for all things tales from the crypt. I collected all the old issues if the comic book, and the reprints, and would stay up past my bedtime to watch the series in HBO. I even remember watching ABC'S Saturday morning cartoon version, and the game show that was based on it.i loved demon knight and bordello of blood, and had all seven seasons of the series on DVD. Hell, I even liked the old 1970's movie version. I was at the grocery store a year or so ago, digging thru their five dollar bin, and became excited when I saw this in it, because I hadn't seen anything with the tftc logo in years. I bought it, went home, popped it in My DVD player....and was horribly disappointed. It was BORING. Nothing of tales from the crypt remained of what I remembered and loved as a kid. No suspense, no horror. Just boredom. The cryptkeepers intro was less then a minute long, and even he looked like he had seen better days. (even for an undead rotting corpse). A HUGE disappointment, and waste of my time and five dollars.
Dinoshark (2010)
Why does Sy Fy keep subjecting us to this?
I don't know why I ever expect anything out of, or even let myself watch, anything that is a "sy fy channel original movie", or why anyone would even admit to LIKING this garbage. It kind of makes sense that Roger Corman would allow his name to be attached to this, but this is low.....even for him. This movie doesn't have a single redeeming factor,at least not that I can see. The acting talent of all those involved is non existent, to say the least, and even they look embarrassed to be there. The dialog is so bad its cringe worthy, and.....the least said about the actual dino shark, the better. A five year old could create a better cgi creature, and actually make it look real. And the gore? What gore? Its just a horribly cgi rendered red cloud. It is beyond me how someone could actually enjoy this movie. Don't even waste your time.
Ooga Booga (2013)
Full moon does it again
I've been a fan of full moon entertainment movies ever since I was a kid. Granted, I know they are typically very low budget and tend to have horrible acting, but their great for genre horror movies that aren't really done by Hollywood.i mean come on, these are the guys that made the demonic toys,killjoy, and subspecies movies. This movie plays along the type of movies that doll graveyard and killjoy were. The main character, ooga booga, even made his first appearance in doll graveyard. While the doll is played for laughs during the first part of the movie, he becomes vicious and murderous in the last half. A typical supernatural revenge/horror movie, this may have been done hundreds of times better than this little film, but this is still a very good film by a low budget company that actually knows what their doing and can deliver. Definitely check it out.
Scarecrow (2013)
This is a syfy channel movie? No way
I was very skeptical when I first thought about watching this movie. I mean, lets face it. Most syfy channel original movies suck. Horrible acting, actors in their 30's portraying "teens", horrible story, limited gore, and horrible creature cgi effects. Look at "Sharknado" as a prime example. But this...this was actually pretty good. The "kids" are once again all obviously actors well past that stage in their life, and while there's one or two that couldn't act their way out of a paper bag, the majority of the cast is descent. Thete's actually a plot, and...surprise surprise, it actually makes sense. While the scarecrow is completely cgi, and obvious at that, its better than most creature effects in syfy channel movies, and one of the cooler looking ones at that. And you see it quite often after the first half. While there isn't much in terms of gore or blood, there is one surprisingly bloody scene in the beginning of the movie, and looks like it would hurt like hell. All in all, a surprisingly decent effort by a cable channel that is known to have horrible movies.
The Summer of Massacre (2012)
Pretty bad....and I like bad movies
I usually love low budget horror movies. In my opinion some are even better than the big budget blockbusters. Alas, thus is not one of them. When I read that this was made by one of the protégés of Hershel Gordon Lewis, the king if gore, and gad the highest body count if any movie, I told myself id check it out. Big mistake. If u live gore, you'll probably like this. If you lice gore and watch this, you'll be horribly let down by the terrible cgi gore effects. I mean, I've seen more realistic violence in kids shows. Most of the stories in this five story anthology revolve around an innocent person being murdered, n then running around (literaly in the first story) murdering other innocent people for no apparent reason. There's about one or two people murdered about every minute, and while there were some interesting death scenes ( a woman being murdered by being made to choke on her own hair,a man in a convenience store being suffocated by a bag of ice and then having his head bashed in with said bag if ice) they are ruined by the horrible cgi. If you have the chance to see this for free, its a good way to kill 98 minutes of your life. If not, don't waste your money buying this.