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9/10
"MEET THE PARENTS"?! That's my FAVORITE! Our family watches it ALL the TIME!"
8 December 2015
Warning: Spoilers
It truly is a shame this will never be released commercially, as it is loads better than the Ben Stiller remake. I've loved the remake since it first came out, and like most I've never even heard of the original independent film from 1991. I managed to get a free DVD-R of this online and I haven't watched the 2000 movie since.

Greg Glienna is a much more likable Greg. Stiller's character was a bit too goofy (as are most his characters). Glienna is more of your average guy and the whole time I was rooting for him. Sure, some of the incidents that happened were directly his fault, but you forgive him.

To coincide with Greg's character, Dick Galloway plays a more realistic father. Robert De Niro's role of the ex-FBI agent is a bit too extreme to be considered realistic. It would work well as a metaphor, especially if the original gas station attendant storyteller was still used in the 2000 movie. Galloway plays a typical serious, All-American, cigar-smoking father. That's intimidating enough.

A lot of what makes the original Meet the Parents great is the action and dialogue. As soon as Greg and his fiancé enter the house, they completely ignore him; until Pam introduces him everybody is giving love to the dog. The conversation that follows in the living room is also pure, classic humor that shows you more of the father's personality. As the story goes on, you see just how stupid and ignorant Pam's parents are (as well as Pam herself). Her father gets upset from a commonly-used phrase (how would Greg know her father's mother was named Penny and they keep her ashes in an urn?!). Greg accidentally slides the roast off the dining table and everyone is frozen for around 10 seconds; the dog ends up eating it as nobody gets off their asses to do anything.

The incidences pile up, including renting the only Andy Griffith porno/slasher movie in existence, poking Pam's mother in the eye with a fishing pole, being accused of being a thief and a pot smoker, crashing the father's car, and drowning the family dog. I won't spoil the ending, but you've probably already read a summary of what happens somewhere on the internet. If anything that happens sounds ridiculous (and if the ending seems unbelievably dark) there's a reasonable explanation for the entire story. The entire story of Greg and Pam is told by a gas station clerk to a customer (who is also on his way to meet his fiancé's parents). In the end, the customer goes (keeping this horrifying tale in mind), and another customer enters the shop. The customer tells he's headed to the carnival and the clerk, much in the same fashion as the opening film with the previous customer, tells him to "turn around" and starts to tell another horrifying tale of a person who took his family to the carnival. Now, this can be taken two ways: either the clerk has heard a lot of crazy stories from customers over the years or he simply makes up a story for any situation/destination the customer brings up. I personally think it's the latter, as this does make up for anything that seems a bit unbelievable.

I highly recommend searching for a copy of this. The DVD-R I got has great video quality. This film is more suitable for repeat views as the remake since it offers you so much more, story-wise and dialogue-wise. It's a fast-paced roller coaster that you never want to get off of.

HIGH POINTS: Great theme song (written by Emo Philips), very humorous and clever dialogue, creepy psychotic sister who can't sing and can't take no for an answer, the father's "stare of disappointment", "The Country Doctor", and Emo Philips' cameo.

LOW POINTS: The scene with the ex-boyfriend at the bar could've been left out. For me it slowed the movie down and I couldn't wrap my head around Pam dating such an asshole. Some may not care for the "amateur acting" but I personally think their acting is very realistic.
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Rabbit Test (1978)
1/10
One of the Worst Comedies Ever Made
18 April 2015
Last summer I went to a local dirt-mall to browse through used VHS tapes. I came across this and went "Oh wow! Billy Crystal in a Joan Rivers movie! And Billy's pregnant!". So I got it. Now, I have never seen any movie written by Joan Rivers, but I knew she was funny. Oh boy......what a queen of comedy she is.......

I love slapstick and stupid humor; I love "The Jerk" with Steve Martin, so you can't accuse me of being high-brow. This movie is non-stop stupidity ranging from "what in the Hell?" to "Oh, Joan (shake head)". Now, it's been a while since I've watched it (and I've tried my best to erase this movie from my mind) but the scene that sticks out to me was Billy Barty in blackface. That was the reaching point for me. I was anticipating Billy Barty's cameo....and then that happens. So Joan Rivers' idea of comedy is a pregnant man and a racist midget. This movie made me question why Rivers got as famous as she did - because she truly lacks any comedic talent.

So, for the love of all that is holy, stay away from this movie. Billy Crystal didn't even save it; the whole time I felt sorry for him. And for his first staring role in a film, too! I should also mention that this is also Michael Keaton's first screen role - though his character doesn't talk and is only in it for a blink of an eye. Though fairly short for the average movie, this certainly felt more than two hours - all of which I sat through, hoping that it would get better. On top of that the quality of the video is extremely poor and it doesn't sound like they used any boom mics - which makes it harder to hear in places. Fortunately, you don't NEED to hear it - because you shouldn't be watching this in the first place.
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Pippin: His Life and Times (1982 TV Movie)
8/10
Watch the Workprint on YouTube; the Televised Edit SUCKS
29 January 2015
I had no idea what to expect when I watched this a few months ago. Irene Ryan lead me to "Pippin" (it's a shame her performance wasn't taped). This was my first "Fosse" experience - and I must say every performer was captivating.

The first version of this 1981 filmed production of "Pippin" that I watched was a leaked unedited workprint on YouTube. This offers you EVERY scene and EVERY song, with different camera angles than the released print. Once I watched the DVD, I truly question if the editor even paid attention to storyline (particularly the segment after "Morning Glow"). Perhaps the most butchered part was "The Hearth" portion of the show (as titled in the original Playbill). I wonder how Leslie Denniston felt when they cut out most of her narration and her song "I Guess I'll Miss The Man". Many many things were cut, including a stanza of my personal favorite song, "No Time At All". I can never watch this edited version so I have opted with a homemade edit combining both versions.

The production itself is truly amazing. Ben Vereen reprises his role as the Leading Player and Christopher Chadman reprises his role as Lewis. William Katt is wonderful as Pippin. Actually every actor does wonderful in this; there is not one person who I think was miscast. This production preserves the original sets and choreography of the original 1972 production - which is a big plus. One interesting note is that the lyrics for "War Is A Science" and "With You" differ from the Original Broadway Cast Album, the latter being changed the most. I don't necessarily prefer one over the other; it's nice to hear different versions of it.

I will warn you that this musical is very unlike most musicals out there as it bounces all over the place. It goes from war to sex to romance to suicide (but hey - it is a story about a man trying to find himself in the world). When I first watched this, the only song that stood out to me was "No Time At All", only because I previously listened to it before watching it. Then I found myself liking "Magic to Do" and "Simple Joys"....then practically every other song in this. This musical really grows on you. Great messages are scattered throughout; "Glory" is amazingly true (and haunting), as well as"No Time At All".

So be sure to watch the workprint on YouTube - you'll get some surprises out of it too; Martha Raye flubs lines in "No Time At All" which are dubbed over in the released print and at the end of "Morning Glow" the tape briefly cuts to a soap opera. Very amusing! But this is the only way to achieve the full experience of "Pippin".
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6/10
Shock Treatment: The Trainwreck that Still Holds Up
2 January 2015
I know a large portion of the Rocky Horror community despise "Shock Treatment", but I rather like it (and I'm a huge fan of The Rocky Horror Show). Even though I like "Shock Treatment", I can't lie and say it's 100% perfect. Because it isn't.

History Lesson! The first draft of a "Rocky" sequel was a script entitled "Curse of the Baby" which became "Rocky Horror Shows His Heels". This script has not been made available to the public and it's a shame. Just from reading the plot line it sounds like a direct sequel to the previous work. But who knows how bad the script really is? So Jim Sharman suggested O'Brien rewrite the script so it wasn't as closely reminiscent to "The Rocky Horror Picture Show". Next comes my personal favorite version of a sequel, "The Brad & Janet Show" - this is practically "Shock Treatment" but better. So the closest thing to the best sequel (in my mind) would be this. So I guess you can say I look past the flaws and past the filmed footage to the actual original screenplay before it all took place inside of a TV studio. This decision took the reality out of everything.

Even though I'm admitting this film is kind of a stinker, the witty dialogue of the original script is still present as are the songs. "Bitchin' In The Kitchen" is very clever, though Brad talking to appliances on a TV screen isn't as funny as talking to the actual appliances themselves (like in the original script). "In My Own Way" is such an emotional song, but the visuals of her walking through padded corridors loses its appeal. To understand what I'm comparing what to, I suggest finding a copy of "The Brad & Janet Show".

"Shock Treatment", as I said, is still a fun movie to watch and what's great about it is you don't even need to watch Rocky Horror to understand it. It's an entirely new story. I even think the whole making fun of American television is wonderfully done (especially for about 2 decades before the ridiculous reality shows of today aired). What really shines out to me is the growing relationship of Oliver and Betty (formerly Munroe) Hapschatt. But I can't stop thinking if only Richard O'Brien had halted the film production during the actor's strike. If only the script hadn't been changed so much. If only he hadn't been so greedy for dough than dedicated to making an actually good movie. 'If' and 'Only'. Two small words that keep repeating again and again in my movie summary.

A minor thing in my mind (that most people tend to dramatize) is the recasting of Brad and Janet. Now, me being a fan of the stage shows of "Rocky Horror" from the 1973 London Cast, the 1974 Roxy Cast, to the 1977 Norwegian Cast, I obviously don't care if new actors are playing Brad and Janet; there's enough of the usual gang of weirdos for you to still enjoy. Barry Bostwick and Susan Sarandon were the third pair of actors to play Brad & Janet, after all.

Enough of my rambling. Should you watch this movie? Sure! It's very smart and amusing. But I suggest you look deeper into its production history after you view it.
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6/10
Charming Movie; great way to kill 90 minutes
2 January 2015
I didn't know what to expect when getting this; I only got it because it featured Little Nell in the opening credits. I hadn't even heard of the Alternative Miss World pageant before. This is a documentary, but it has got to be one of the most entertaining documentaries out there; it is made more like a "filmed for posterity" documentary than one of those "and so Professor Nicholas P. Nichols invented the cure for chickenpox in 1894" kind of documentary.

It's a great way to kill time when you're stuck with a boring night. It's fun to see all the weird and interesting costumes these contestants come up with (even by the second time I viewed it I forgot what the outfits were, so it still kept me on my seat to find out who the winner was again).

The other two reviews on here say that it gets boring, but whenever I watch it the ending is sooner than I would've hoped for. It's not one of my favorite films nor do I think everybody who's living needs to watch it. But if you're into weird things and want something new to watch, "The Alternative Miss World" (aka "I Wanna Be A Beauty Queen")will be a treat to watch.
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10/10
God That's Good!!!!
31 December 2014
This is the Sweeney Todd to watch. I first watched the Tim Burton version back when it came out and I liked it; it wasn't one of my favorite movies but it wasn't a stinker either. It wasn't until a few years later I knew what I was missing.

After watching this version, you can never go back to that Burton garbage. Would you eat at Taco Bell after tasting food at a REAL Mexican restaurant? No. The first time I fully-understood the story was with this 1982 taping. The Burton adaption was a jumbled mess with many things cut out and many miscasted actors (Helena Bonham Carter being the worst one). Sacha Baron Cohen actually did a remarkable job though.

Anyway, this review IS for the 1982 version, so I'll stop trashing the newer one. In my opinion, George Hearn performs Sweeney better than Len Cariou originally did, but that's just an opinion. Angela Lansbury adds lots of character to Miss Lovett, making her weirdly lovable. Ken Jennings (not to be confused with the high-neck Jeopardy geek)also reprises his role as Toby from the original show as does Edmund Lyndeck as Judge Turpin. Everyone does a remarkable job, however I know a lot of people hate Johanna's singing. But if you stop and think she's asking the birds how THEY sing wonderfully when trapped in a cage....so I suppose she's not supposed to sing well. Cris Groenendaal is wonderfully cheesy as Anthony and was much more likable than that young prissy guy they casted in the Burton movie.

This show is NEVER boring. If you found the Burton movie confusing, I suggest you watch this. It's truly a treat to watch; you'll see why this has an 8.5 score. Hopefully they'll release it on BluRay so we can attend the tale of Sweeney Todd in HD!
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9/10
I'm sure you're not spent.....yet.
29 December 2014
"The Rocky Horror Picture Show" is a truly funny musical, and if you haven't seen it (even if you hate musicals) you should watch this at least once; probably at home. I must be one of the few Rocky Horror fans that hate the whole "audience participation" deal. If you have to throw toilet paper and hotdogs and shout obscenities to make a movie fun then you obviously aren't fulfilled by the movie itself.

This musical parodies those cheesy B-movies where the typical wholesome all-American couple gets a flat tire and goes to a spooky house for a phone...though in this case it's the house of a transvestite doctor. This going to be FUN!

Reprising their roles from the 1973 Original London Cast of "The Rocky Horror Show" are Tim Curry, Richard O'Brien (also the creator), Patricia Quinn, Little Nell, as well as Jonathan Adams (though in the role of Dr. Scott instead of the Narrator). Meatloaf also reprises his role as Eddie from the 1974 Los Angeles production. I appreciate how instead of getting all big-names and a big fat budget they opted for lower budget with a cast formed of previous RHS actors. How would you parody a low-budget B-movie with a high budget anyway? Susan Sarandon makes a great Janet, though Barry Bostwick is slightly lacking (his version of "Once In A While" was so slow; I could see why they DID cut it out from the movie).

Three things I rather hate about the movie is the song pacing, Charles Gray, and the elimination of Rocky's dialogue. Every song in the movie is performed much slower than they were in the original productions, which in turn slows the action of the movie down; the only songs that worked at a slower pace were "I'm Going Home" and "Superheroes". Charles Gray talks at the pace of a dying mule and puts nowhere near as much energy as Jonathan Adams or Graham Jarvis did (nor as much ominousness as Arthur Dignam). In the play Rocky actually talks; he never actually talks in this movie. This makes sense going the Frankenstein route, because the monster couldn't speak fluent sentences until he went to the man at the cottage. What DOESN'T make sense is that he can still SING. This thwarts that logic, huh? One thing I like that the movie adds is the awkward dinner scene.....that's always a hoot to watch.

I suppose I should wrap things up. WATCH IT! Clever, catchy songwriting. Great cast of actors (closest thing you'll get to seeing the original 1973 London cast.....unless a bootleg of THAT shows up). And just an overall good time. Invite some friends over to your house, get Doritos, kick back, and give yourself over to absolute pleasure!
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Gravity (2013)
4/10
"Gravity" Falls Flat
29 December 2014
If you find excitement about seeing Sandra Bullock rolling around in space panting for two hours, this is the movie for you! The main point of this movie was simply to show off how good CGI is nowadays. The CGI was in fact amazing to look at, which is why I gave it a 4. But it is a truly lacking movie besides that. There's not really much plot and the characters are the generic carbon-copy helpless female and George Clooney (yes George Clooney is his own category). That scene where she barks like a dog on the phone.....though touching to most, I found very embarrassing. I got what was happening in the scene....but...just no. I watched this back when it came out....and that one time had left a strong impression on me. This is one of the most overrated films on IMDb. "The Exorcist" has an 8 just like "Gravity". Now let me clarify this. In "The Exorcist" those two hours are filled with such classic scenes including (but not limited to) a girl peeing on the carpet, spider-walking down stairs, puking in a priest's face, "why you do this to me Demi?", and a priest getting hurled out a window and down the alley stairs. All "Gravity" has to offer in its two hours is (like I said before) Bullock rolling around and crying in space and hallucinations of George Clooney. What a waste of celluloid!
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10/10
Truly Timeless; One of the Best Comedies Ever Written
6 December 2014
I'm not going to go overboard here because there really is no reason to; otherwise I'd be repeating most everybody's reviews on here. It truly is a funny movie. Not one joke or gag has died over the years. The acting is wonderful, from the two old ladies (reprising their roles from the Broadway play) to (of course) Cary Grant (whether he thinks so or not). This movie is simply a masterly-structured comedy and the way it's set up it practically does feel like a filmed play (but with occasional brief scene changes and that wacky baseball game at the beginning). Anyway, I highly recommend it. I made my high school creative writing teacher show this film to our class and everybody loved it. This film truly goes to show how well a movie can hold up.....except for that lawn jockey. Besides that, it feels like it can very well be present-day.
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10/10
Most people don't seem to get the point of this film AT ALL!!
6 September 2014
People don't seem to get this movie because of the humor and cliché plot lines.......but that's exactly the point of the movie! It's SUPPOSED to parody romantic comedies, and the writer accomplishes this 100%! I haven't seen the director/writer's other works, so you can't accuse me of defending him for EVERYTHING he does. This movie is seriously a laugh every 1/2 minute, offering gut-wrenching laughs of the most ridiculous situations. You have to expect the corny and overly-dramatic; you can't be expecting a cute lovey-dovey romcom (which I bet is the reason why most people hate it). The cast plays the roles completely straight, which makes the parody even funnier!

Ignore the other reviews - watch it! If you're a fan of romantic comedies (or any comedy) I HIGHLY recommend watching this! It's a gem!
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Quick Change (1990)
5/10
Don't we all change the channel after the bank robbery?
26 August 2014
The first act of the movie is the only good part of this whole film, and it is what everybody remembers it for. Who doesn't love Bill Murray as a bank-robbing clown? However, as soon as they run away with the dough there is no interesting plot to follow. No matter how many celebrity cameos there may be, the screenplay is crap (although I can't really blame the screenplay, because the book by Jay Cronley is quite the steaming pile too). Randy Quaid almost goes full-retard in this movie and his actions get very tiring and embarrassing, while Geena Davis plays the generic side-woman who oohs and ahhs at the leading man......which is reasonable in this case because it IS Bill Murray. In addition to the screenplay being bad, it is full of flat jokes and stereotypes and the music gets EXTREMELY annoying; they play the same corny cop drama music over and over and over again in the background.

Even though this movie is pretty mediocre, I would recommend only watching the first act if you DO choose to watch it. Otherwise, check out the first movie adaption, "Hold-Up" (1985) with Jean-Paul Belmondo, which offers WAY more laughs than this.
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Hold-Up (1985)
10/10
FANTASTIC movie! A shame it's almost unknown!
8 August 2014
I found out about this film from "Quick Change" with Bill Murray (1990). Both "Quick Change" and "Hold-Up" are film adaptations of "Quick Change" by Jay Cronley. But I'm not here for a history lesson.

"Hold-Up" is truly a comedy gem. Francis Veber serving as one of the script writers certainly helps this. Story-wise (I won't give any spoilers), the first act of the movie that takes place in the bank is almost the same as the remake movie. Both versions of the bank robbery are very fun to watch. What really makes "Hold-Up" stand out from the Bill Murray movie is the second act.

Although I love Bill Murray as an actor, I can firmly say that "Quick Change" was simply unbearable to watch. It gets old and stale after the bank robbery. The same thing happened to me when I tried reading the book. I suppose I can praise the makers of "Quick Change" for sticking close to the source material, but it won't help much if the book itself blows. And no matter how many celebrity cameos there are in that film, it doesn't help it.

"Hold-Up" shows us a lot more of the character's personalities. Kim Cattrall's portrayal as Lise shows us this demanding confident woman who makes her own choices in the end. In the original book and the second movie, she is simply the generic side-woman that "oos" and "ahhs" at the leading man. And speaking of leading man, Jean-Paul Belmondo pulls off an excellent Grimm, along with Guy Marchand as the sidekick (who plays the part of the sidekick with more dignity than Randy Quaid did). The late Tex Konig also gives a memorable performance as the truck driver who is desperate to get his dough, as well as an amusing cameo from Jacques Villert as the taxi driver. And it all ends with a wonderful and delightful twist!

The music is also less repetitive than the remake. This film does, however, use a musical snippet (Liza's Road) many times during the film, though cleverly played in different speeds and instruments; it achieves a continuous soundtrack that isn't typical 80's cop drama music played over and over and over again.

To make a long story short (too late), if you HAVEN'T seen "Hold-Up" - WATCH IT! Even if that means getting a region-free DVD player. It's WORTH IT! This film needs to get "out there" more!
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