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Reviews
Your Highness (2011)
Boring, puerile drivel, we walked out.
Went to see this with my girlfriend, thinking we'd get a laugh or two (I always enjoy a double entendre and a bit of sexual humour) but after sitting through the first 90 minutes, we both agreed that the film was utter rubbish. Neither of us has ever walked out of a cinema before, but we made an exception for this film.
The jokes are the of the calibre that might have made me laugh when I was about 13, but even then I probably would have thought they were overdone. We left the cinema feeling like we'd wasted an hour and a half of our lives. The only consolation is that, thanks to Orange Wednesday, I only paid for one ticket and the other was free.
Unlike another reviewer, I didn't even go into this film with high expectations. I knew it would be a load of nonsense and full of crude humour, but it managed to disappoint me nonetheless.
I saw a poster for this film that quoted a review: "I didst laugh until I soiled my breeches". I'd like to see them replace that with a quote from my review: "I didst walk out in disgust". Don't bother with Your Highness, you'll be wasting your time and money.
Blade of Darkness (2001)
Hack off your enemy's limb... then thrash him with it!
Fantasy role-playing game with all the traditional elements - orcs, trolls, golems, demons, experience points, health potions... and BIG swords. 3D 3rd-person fantasy adventure that lets you play as one of 4 characters (Knight, Barbarian, Dwarf or Amazon) out to save the world from the forces of Chaos.
Wield pretty much anything as a weapon - even chop off your opponent's limbs and beat him with them! Awesome special attacks and combo moves, decapitations, plenty of blood and gore. One of the most underrated games I've ever played.
"Severance - Blade of Darkness" as it's known in some territories, was made by the (now defunct) Spanish developers Rebel Act Studios and published by Codemasters. Apart from a few bugs, the game is amazing, especially its dynamic lighting and real-time reflections that are quite impressive considering its age.
Where this game really shines is the combat. Incredibly fluid moves, both offensive and defensive, with additional abilities unlocked with each experience level that you advance (experience is gained by killing enemies). Some of the weapons are really impressive and their special attacks are absolutely devastating.
This game makes for a refreshing change from all the first person shooters than seem to dominate the market, it's just a shame that it's so criminally underrated.