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Bird Box (2018)
Put a blindfold first
Within the first ten minutes, the film's direction became evident. The story with few cheap scares felt like a rehashed version of a Stephen King's "The Mist", but lacking the depth and originality that made the latter so captivating. The main protagonist, an ignorant, smug 52-year-old single mother-to-be and the irritating supporting cast, a mix of clichéd and stereotypical characters, failed to elicit any genuine interest or empathy. On the contrary, you wish to see them die. The film suffered from a new low of lazy writing. Instead of exploring fresh ideas, the predictable story leaned on tired old tropes. This lack of creativity and originality made it challenging to connect with the events unfolding on-screen and made me wish I had a blindfold too, because watching it makes you wanna kill yourself too at some point.
Halloween Ends (2022)
Wish there was a zero rating
This is not a horror, this is horrible. Of all the flops in the Halloween franchise, this is the worst one by far. I can't remember when I have seen a movie this bad! It's a boring, painfully boring, dull, sloppy mess with a tragic twist, and not in a good way. You don't even care who's who or who's going to live or die, you just want it to end. Once and for all. Even though this is a shameful way to end the franchise that's been with me all my life, the good thing is that it ends. I hope. Probably because they can't create a worse mess of a movie than this one, they decided to end it here. In the worst possible way. Avoid at all cost. This movie is 0/10.
Django Unchained (2012)
Bad taste gone worse
First I must say that I rarely write reviews. Most are already there to help a viewer decide whether to see the movie or not. An experienced moviegoer can always tell if the reviewer knows what he's talking about. But with Django unchained, that was such a horrible flick with sky high ratings, I just felt the urge to write down how disturbingly flawed and deeply deranged this movie is and not in a good way. It's been a long time since I have seen a good Tarantino movie. This era ended with his story and his part in Four Rooms. And after Kill Bill, things went downhill never to crawl back up. Every once in a while, Tarantino's flashy and expensive garbage is being spilled on theater screens all over the world, and the somewhat schizophrenic director surprisingly picks up even more fans along the dodgy way. I expected more from this movie, since I couldn't even sit through that dreary Inglorious bastards, so things had to get better. And yet, even though he had a perfect plot setting in a cruel time and place for black people in American history, he casted the still boyish looking I-must- be-the-bad-guy-in-that-movie DiCaprio who really gives his best to sell it but falls short, and you get yet another long term drug use flashback in a form of give-me-back-my-money drive-in movie, with an hour long boring film within a film - during the visit to Candie Land that starts with what can only be described as the first MMA fight ever held in a living room. In this openly racist movie, and not because of the excessive use of the n-word, whose star later promotes gun ban while making good money by shooting every white creature in this film that has sudden twists from serious to absurd, from grave to bizarre. Here we get a bad writing, bad music, bad casting, mediocre acting from an all-star cast and awful, awful direction. The dynamic sound makes you jump off your seat when someone slams the door on screen. How cheap is that? Well, the music was OK, but not for one playlist and certainly not for one western. You just can't mix Rio Bravo style songs and Elvis impersonator with modern rap music and get away with it. Unless your main character can spill buckets of blood with just one bullet or massacre crowds of armed rednecks just after practicing his gunslinger skills by shooting down a few bottles. We also see a drawer slide mounted Derringer save the day one time too many. We see black slaves speak fluent German. But this is a love story, and yet these extreme action scenes are the high tide here with tons of ketchup spills all around, with over the top gore that would make a B-slasher-movie look like British rom com, and the drab dramatic part will bore you to death and make you consider leaving the theater. Twice. What Quentin tries to achieve here, style wise, is the bleak mix of Gibson's The Passion of the Christ and Jesus Christ Superstar. But someone should've told him both movies are bad. Also, Samuel L. Jackson's pathetic make-up as well as his cartoonish role do not make things any better. I didn't expect to see Open Range, but this charade is a kind of rich gumbo, made out of all the bad ingredients from previous hyped Tarantino grindhouse style obsession movies or his dull WWII affirmative action fairy tale, that was oddly not enough spiced with finger licking good hot sauce from Leone, Hawks or Peckinpah, hence completely ruining this bad taste cinema and rendering it inedible. Now seeing these ratings, no wonder Gangnam style is the most viewed YT video ever. No wonder Hobit, Harry Potter, Batman, Spiderman and Lord of the Rings top the Best 250 list.
Two and a Half Men (2003)
As "Sheen" on TV
My ratings of 1 out of 10 is based on frustration of what the creators have done to the show out of pure vanity. I've seen 20 episodes of season 9 and laughed twice. This used to be the best show ever, I could watch episodes over and over again and still laugh. I thought Hollywood is all about business, but Chuck proved me wrong. He destroyed his own masterpiece just to "Chuck" out Charlie Sheen, even though the whole show was based on his character. Darn, even his own character is based on that character! Now what's left is ½ of a man. This is now one of the worst sitcoms ever where they resort to using farts and mass vomiting to amuse the audience. We hardly ever see Jake or his grandma, no Judith and Rose... and Ashton, he is just pitiful. Bring Charlie back or end this torture. If you agree, lower your ratings for this criminal act in TV business.
No Country for Old Men (2007)
Horrible ending
I loved the first part of the movie. Both Bardem and Brolin are perfect in their roles. You get high hopes, because the movie gives you a thrill ride from the very beginning. Although quite simple, the plot slowly drags you in with intense and suspenseful gory action scenes that make you hold your breath. You get personally involved with the characters and, of course, you take sides, expecting aging sheriff and his young deputy to step into action and resolve the situation of cat and mouse chase. But, no. Instead, in the last 30 minutes of the film or so, the characters just kind of fade away and all you've seen that far starts to lose any sense, and at that point it makes you wonder if this is some artsy European flick that's supposed to leave you thoughtful. It all comes down to sheriff's reminiscence of the past times and the action outcome you awaited simply vanishes into thin air. Then you get totally confused by the final developments in this movie. After all he's been through, the main character (Brolin), who was hunted by this psycho killer (Bardem) throughout the movie, dies in the background shootout by the hand of some Mexicans, while the bad guy supposedly kills his wife and manages to escape wounded, but alive, after a totally unrelated car crash scene. You get the feeling the movie's been resolved like this due to the sudden death of the leading actor, so the crew just threw away the plot and finished the production with the leftover scenes they shot earlier. So what's the purpose of this ending? You can't go from gory action to melodrama in 30 seconds without giving viewers a bad headache. At the end you're wondering why you even bothered watching that 90 minutes of suspense, if it all comes down to nothing. I really think this movie is overrated and it doesn't deserve any Oscars, that's for sure. Maybe if there's a nomination for the screenplay gone terribly wrong. If it is for an unexpected ending, go and see Stephen King's Mist.
Endgame: Blueprint for Global Enslavement (2007)
The rabbit hole is deeper than we thought
Alex Jones is a modern day messiah. Not in a religious way, but as the voice of reason crying in the desert. He has dedicated his life trying to wake up drowsy population from its slumber and to point out real issues of today's world of hypocrisy. This courageous, provocative and controversial investigative journalist, cinematographer and radio show host, in his attempt to uncover false flag terrorism, deprivation of human and civil rights and the introduction of world government and police state in US, tries to put up all the pieces of the big picture and present it to the ignorant world. He has made a number of documentaries and short videos disclosing the complex New World Order secret societies' agenda in a very thorough and detailed way. Among those is a shocking video made in 2000, when Alex sneaked inside Bohemian Grove, a redwood forest retreat near San Francisco, where the most powerful men of the world such as presidents, prime ministers, bankers, royalty, businessmen and even actors secretly gather each year, and shot an obscure cult ceremony of sacrificing human effigy to the giant stone owl by the men dressed in devil worshippers' hoods and documented GWB's affiliation with the Yale's cult Skull and Bones.
In his striking documentaries, he tries to show that today's society is under the thumb of handful of people who own and control most of the world's governments and resources, thus the wars and crisis too. They create problems so they could use their predefined solutions. This movie shows a grim prediction based on hard facts of things that may come in the near future - one world government keen on depopulating the world and enslaving what's rest of it, while the elite would live forever by taking advantage of modern science and eugenics. Taking in account that Alex have predicted 911 attacks and accused the government for it just a couple of months before the actual events took place, one may become disturbed that this premonition of his may become reality once again, for it is based on a decade of research and experience in dealing with this hidden in plain sight agenda. He is in no way clairvoyant, he just saw and realized what most of the people still can't, so he knows who is he dealing with and what they're capable of. Not because he's smarter than the rest of us, but because the large majority of people find football scores or Britney's haircut more important than any form of knowledge, especially knowledge that has been deliberately hidden from us for centuries, if not millenniums. If we all could come to our senses, we would be able to see that we are being hoaxed, robbed, controlled, deprived and debt-enslaved by the powers outside our perspective. We call it 'the system'. As long as we play along, democracy is the game in which these secret societies are bound to win, for they control the candidate, the party, and the policy predestined to win. Alex once said: "Democracy is when two wolves and a sheep vote on what's for dinner". My friend Dave went even further: "No, democracy is when vultures make the wolves and sheep believe they're voting on what's for dinner". I think this sums up what Endgame is all about.
Ask yourself why this world of humane atheists, good Samaritans, merciful Muslims and meek Buddhists is the world of misery, a gloomy world in which we invade sovereign countries, kill innocent civilians, women and children, tagged as collateral damage, a world in which we spend billions on weapons and wars, not on food, a world where people die of starvation, while we're saving turtles and toads, a world we're trying to save from alleged global warming by introducing another tax, while testing nukes or dropping thousands of tons of napalm and depleted uranium. And while we just sit there and do nothing, at least Alex is out there somewhere with his bullhorn and camera.
I am disappointed by the rating and the number of votes here. I'm sure we've all seen National Treasure though and gave it a good rating. Watch his films. Educate yourself. Open your eyes. Stand up for your rights.
Transformers (2007)
Japanese idiocy American way
I recently read a comment here on IMDb that said this movie is in no way meant for kids and that everyone should see it no matter how old they are. For example, another guy said: When I saw the trailer of the film I thought that Transformers was going to be another silly action movie without a story but I was wrong. Oh, God! He was wrong! And I was dumb enough to fall for this. IT IS A SILLY ACTION MOVIE WITHOUT A STORY! Let's make one thing clear. I have nothing against cartoons turn blockbusters. But this is something completely different. Apart from good FX that bore you to death after so many repetitions, this flick is a mindless showcase of bad script, horrible acting and stumping plot which glorifies US Army and supposedly gang-ho government keen on keeping top secrets for the benefit of the nation. From scene one you wish the main character dies a horrifying death and you imagine him ending up in Hostel 3, but unfortunately this is not a torture-porn or a slasher where you can hope someone would perform medieval on his a*s. This aggravating actor who, by the way, carbon copied his role in Disturbia, then finds himself a peer in a pretentious, "popular", vain high-school girl who keeps delivering lines of a four year old and at one point agrees to sit in his lap because he said he has the only seatbelt and safety comes first. And yet, she tells him he's a smooth talker!? Are American girls really that stupid or is it what Hollywood want them to be? Shia is one bad actor who repeats himself and have seen too many sitcoms as a kid, and his acting is made even worse by lame directing. You even find yourself embarrassed by his acting. The two then make a hero couple who start getting on your nerves and every moment you wish these two wannabe actors at least get squashed by a giant robot's foot and get it over with. Except the ticket price, there is absolutely nothing here that will keep you in your seat throughout this video/audio torture, for the CGI FX are pointless if your intelligence is being constantly insulted by this no-brainer. The small Decepticons mumble like Gremlins or spiders in Eight legged freaks, which is totally inappropriate sound effect for a robot, as it is for a spider. I don't know which car company sponsored this disaster, maybe all of them did, along with eBay and US Army, but I found that TV commercial with the same robot-to-car transformation much more entertaining and fulfilling. I know Jon Voight sank low lately, but John Turturro was one of my favorite character actors. I just hope this extremely high rating is not a result of a mass voting by dumbed-down adults who suffered an incurable brain damage, but by neglected kids poisoned and brainwashed by anime. This should be banned for people over 10 outside Japan.
World Trade Center (2006)
WTC - Wasted time and Cash
The horrifying destiny of thousands of ordinary people and hundreds of servicemen and rescue workers on 911 is certainly worth making a disaster movie, but this film is dull and boring in its essence. First of all, for 60 minutes we watch two guys being trapped under the rubble of WTC tower fighting to stay alive. Not much of a plot. We hear people talking in abbreviations, we see flashbacks from their everyday lives, we see their families shattered by uncertainty and suspense, we hear them rant about cheesy stuff that would make any other movie, not this delicate, pathetic and a complete washout. What we don't see is an insight on these dramatic events themselves. I can't criticize this film from an artistic point of view, but rather from a political one. As we hear a number of explosions inside the WTC, the tagline should read: The world saw evil that day. Millions of people saw an inside job.
There's this dull character, Marines staff sergeant Karnes, a big bully-like hunk, with the IQ of a mongoose and a mindset of a thoughtless pawn, who is determined on finding the survivors and pulling them out. He even takes a haircut for this occasion. As he sets an example of what good, heroic and obeying citizen should look like. In the end he says US will need lot of good men to avenge this. The end credits show that he served two tours of duty in Iraq, which means "let's avenge this on the first country that comes along". Or the one Mr. Bushy points at. When we hear media anchors in the movie rant about the attacks from all over, one can't help but to compare these descriptions to what US is doing to other countries on a regular basis. They also have no respect for human lives, they also bomb civilians, they also use terror as the mean to an end, and then they stage a false-flag attack so they could bomb even more countries under the excuse of war on terror. Here we have a subtle message that US should avenge their dead, but when the others do that, it's called terrorism. Why hundreds of thousands of people had to die in Iraq? Just because Uncle Sam yearned to avenge the events so suspicious that even their own brainwashed fellow citizens find them hard to believe? Why did they bomb Serbia, which also fought Muslim terrorists within its own borders, under the excuse of humanitarian disaster, when alleged 100.000 refugees in Kosovo were nothing compared to the millions right now in Iraq? Not to mention the body count. Double standards for the privileged world power we all should feel sorry for. Poor little Americans. Yet, the Hollywood machinery also makes a profit.
Please come and shower us with some more of that depleted uranium before you make another movie like this one.