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Reviews
Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made (2018)
Meh
It's a brilliant concept that theoretically would be something I would love to watch. But unfortunately it stumbled along the way in execution.
The documentary portion, the framing device, was by far the best part of the movie. Unfortunately it was absolutely far too short compared to the rest of the movie.
The actual Antrum movie is eh. It just takes way too long and just keeps dragging on and on and on. There are some good bits, but they get lost in the slog.
The documentary part needed to be the part that was the majority of the movie. And perhaps interspersed throughout the Antrum movie. Just more.
It could have been so much better.
The Outwaters (2022)
World's Tiniest Flashlight: The Movie
Barely anything happens in the first half of the movie. Once weird sounds start happening, you're not sure if they're actually happening because the characters don't react in any way.
Then weird things probably start happening, but we're not sure because that would require the camera to be pointed towards something that's not 99.9% darkness. Yay, the camera person has a flashlight. Oh, nevermind, it's the flashlight that won the Guinness World Record for World's Smallest Flashlight. I guess we'll just watch ten minutes of darkness and screaming and assume something bad is happening.
After that is about 55 minutes of absolutely nothing happening while simultaneously being completely incomprehensible.
Movies like this remind me of that Scream quote: "if it gets too complicated, you lose your target audience.
Here's the thing: there's a good movie in here somewhere. I think the problem is that found footage is not the best medium for what this movie is trying to do. I'd be interested to see this movie in a completely different format. And with better sound mixing.
Burial (2022)
Not a horror movie! Not a werewolf movie!!
The tagline "attacked by nazi werewolves" is extremely misleading. The term is also used for nazis behind enemy lines fighting guerrilla style. There are no supernatural elements in this movie. As soon as I figured that out I turned it off.
I can't tell if this is a purposeful misdirection or just sloppy marketing. It definitely does not belong in the horror category, which also adds to the 'werewolf' misdirection.
The problem is I am sure this is a pretty decent movie. From what I saw everything looked well done and well acted. The story itself seemed interesting enough, it's just when I turned the movie on I wanted a werewolf movie.
Better Watch Out (2016)
Meh.
At first, I liked the direction that the movie was taking. The trailer made you think you were going to see a completely different movie, and I usually think a misdirect of that level is pretty fun. The problem is that you have to land the dismount which is what Better Watch Out fails to do. The ending just annoyed me. It was saved by the last minute, but then annoyed me again with the mid-credit scene.
I get what they were trying to do. A 'defending yourself from a home invasion Home Alone style' movie would have been predictable and they went in a completely different direction. I can't help but think though that if had stayed on the predictable route it would have been a much more enjoyable movie.
Deadcon (2019)
Almost a good movie, ending makes no sense
This was so close to being a good scary movie. The problem is that there wasn't any follow through or consistency with the rules and the background of the evil spirits that were attacking everyone. They never explain where the spirit comes from or why it's killing everyone. The ending is very hollow and unsatisfying.
Hubie Halloween (2020)
It's an enigma
This movie is an enigma. There are some truly funny parts. The thermos. People throwing stuff at Hubie. The cat's eyes going wide. There's some great acting. I dare say this is Kevin James and Rob Schneider's finest work, and I mean that entirely and non hyperbolically. There's a decent story about Hubie trying to solve the Halloween mystery.
The problem is all of this is surrounded by horrible dialogue, needless scenes, and writing that needed another draft.
There is half a great movie here. The problem is that the other half is complete garbage. The fact that it's even possible for this combination to exist makes Hubie Halloween a cinematic achievement.
The Nightmare Gallery (2019)
Amazing!
An excellent take on modern cosmic horror with great performances from everyone. We get to follow Sam's descent into madness, wondering with her each step of the way if it's worth her sacrifice.
Watch this movie. It is amazing.