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Reviews
Ahsoka (2023)
I'm not surprised...
I had low expectations of this show following the awful Mando season 3, Boba Fett and Kenobi shows, this show follows suit and slots nicely into the Disney Star Wars death spiral.
More cookie cut storylines, another map, another Mcguffin to find, more bad CGI, oh bore off Disney.
Some of the story points are so over the top dumb, they're actually insulting. The fight scenes are pathetic, why didn't they use a stunt double for Rosario for goodness sake?! She can barely run or jump, and it just looks like what it is, a middle aged woman trying to spin around...
How is this currently sat at 8.3?! I think we all know...
Top Gun: Maverick (2022)
Tom is the man...
It's not often a long awaited sequel to a classic movie meets expectations, but this does, and to me, it exceeded them.
It's simplistic, fun and emotional, everything a proper blockbuster should be.
Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022)
Fast kid, slow bad guys...
So it feels like Disney did a big fat dump all over Obi Wan, he's now a pathetic, shadow of his former self, not really what I was expecting.
The CGI is iffy, the bad guys are stilted, the shakey cam is irritating, the kid chasing is cringy and after two episodes it's just pretty boring.
Shane (2022)
For cricket fans
As a passionate England cricket fan I hated Shane Warne, I hated him for his typical Aussie arrogance, his stupid hair and ear rings but mostly I hated him for terrorising our batsman and consequently me as a fan. In equal measure I couldn't help but be in awe of the guy, his charisma, his ability to turn a game on it's head, he was simply the greatest bowler I'd ever seen and I found this documentary really interesting.
I still hate him though...
The Matrix Resurrections (2021)
WOKEowski...
I was always one of those people that thought when the rumours of a fourth Matrix started to circulate, it shouldn't happen, some things should just be left alone, and boy, having watched it, this should definitely have been left alone.
The action sequences are sub par, the green hue of the original has been replaced and it doesn't work. Keanu and Carrie-Anne dial in their performances and the woke agenda is clear.
Overall it was really disappointing and deserves the low ratings.
Crime (2021)
Ok crime drama, but why the feminist agenda shoeins??
As far as crime dramas go it made for pretty decent viewing. I probably would have given it a slightly higher rating if it weren't for the unsubtle shoe horning in of feminist narratives...
I don't have an issue with political messages in TV or Film, most of them do to some extent, as long as they're subtle, which takes clever writing. The writers of this however thought it would be a good idea to slap us in the face with it from episode 1, with a DS castigating her boss by telling him he was "mansplaining" and then for him to completely roll over and apologise profusely when there was no need to, it was absurd, the scene added nothing, and even my feminist wife was eye rolling. They've even added in a loud, obnoxious, cave man type for the toxic masculinity trope. Then there's the office womaniser, a married man who openly comes onto every female in the office, it's a tired stereotype that had no place in this drama.
Hawkeye (2021)
More bait and switch from Disney
If you came here wanting Rener as Hawkeye from the Avengers movies, be prepared to be disappointed, it's not about him.
I shouldn't be surprised that Disney have taken this direction, seems to be their MO now and to be honest, I'm pretty much done with them.
No Time to Die (2021)
Just didn't feel like a Bond movie...
I read they'd gone through a ton of script writers before deciding on the finished article and it was easy to see why watching this Bond.
Overly long, convoluted and sorry to say, boring! Just about sums it up for me. I've never been a huge fan of Craig's moody portrayal of Bond, it always felt to me his Bond was a reaction to the success of the Jason Bourne movies and with it, the feel of classic James Bond had been lost.
Ultimately, this just didn't feel like a Bond movie, which wouldn't have been quite so bad if the movie itself was any good, unfortunately it wasn't which is a real shame.
Masters of the Universe: Revelation (2021)
We shouldn't be surprised...
Marketed as He-Man when in reality it has nothing to do with him. They just used his name to reel fans in, knowing full well they couldn't have used the actual shows dynamic to fans.
If you want to do a show with a strong female lead then do that, but don't market it on the coat tails of the real star, He-Man.
They've deceived the fans and the ratings show that.
Loki (2021)
Intriguing start but...
Promising start to the show, Hiddleston and Wilson are good together and share some amusing scenes.
Then episode three hits and it's all gone horribly wrong, the acting by Loki number 2 is absolutely appalling and their scenes feel so forced.
How this has a 9.1 rating is ridiculous, me thinks there may be a few fake reviews perhaps...
Raya and the Last Dragon (2021)
Decent but overall forgettable
Firstly the visuals were fantastic, as you'd expect. The story, characters and voice overs were not.
Story is the same premise Disney have been churning out for years, absent parents, rise above yourself, save the world by using some moral keynote.
The voice of the dragon needed to be a recognised comedian, think Eddie Murphy's Mushu, the voice they used didn't work. There was also no songs which was a disappointment, so overall it was ok, but forgettable
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Oh DC what have you done...?
I went into this with high hopes, I loved the first WW movie, at least until the end anyway. But the sequel is simply awful.
Hammy acting, poor CGI, pointless scenes and a child like plot.
It just didn't work at all and I'm really disappointed, probably one of the worst, if not THE worst super hero movie I've seen
Mulan (2020)
Missed opportunity
I gave this movie a solid 5 mainly based on the visuals, which were beautiful at times, I didn't hate it by any means, but when the movie ended I was left a little disappointed.
Mulan's character arc in the original was excellent, she was spirited and brave but what she lacked in physical ability she more than made up for with her intelligence and tenacity. Her struggle to become accepted by her peers and captain was clear, it made her achievement believable and joyful.
However, in the remake this doesn't happen, there is no struggle for Mulan, she already knows she is the best warrior, the only struggle is her deception at not showing it and this for me was a mistake by Disney.
Intelligence (2020)
What was this...?
This was terrible on every level, bad acting, awful writing and ultimately unfunny...
Frozen II (2019)
Wonderful
Disney have played an absolute blinder here, with the first Frozen they created a true classic that captured the hearts of kids and adults alike, but I think they've managed to top it with Frozen II
The visuals are stunning, the music and songs are great, the story moves along at a perfect pace and the characters we know and love all work to produce a truly magical experience.
The "Lost in the woods" boy band parody by Kristoff is simply genius and is guaranteed to have every adult watching it smiling