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Reviews
La rosa de Guadalupe (2008)
Pretentious, boring and overall awful.
Disclaimer: I am a Roman Catholic, and a faithful one. But that doesn't stop me from hating this "show".
I am (in)fortunate enough to watch this series many times thanks to the fact it's at lunchtime where I live at. And oh good lord, where do we start? Well, acting: Dull, overacted, really stiff and annoying at best. Acting here comes in two flavours: Either overreacted to the point it feels overly feigned (and annoying also), or really stiff, almost woodlike. The acting would make any cheap amateurish Elementary School drama play look like the Lord of the Rings. Nominating these kind of acting to the Razzies (since I don't know which is the award to the worst of the worst TV series) would be a disgrace to the Razzies awards itself.
Thematic: All of the episodes are too repetitive and formulaic: Problem A happens, it goes rock bottom, a white rose appears sent by the Virgin of Guadalupe, and the problem is solved by magic, everybody lives happily ever after. Wait, does that ever happens in real life? As far as I know, the Virgin (and the saints in the Catholic traditions) plead to God for the miracles to happen. But leaving the religious themes aside, the whole "Virgin ex Machina" theme is just annoying, since it gives people the false hope of leaving it all to the Virgin to solve their problems. A really lazy, and downright stupid, solution. There's an old saying, stating "Help yourself so I can help you", which is the real way on how do miracles work. Seconds, the series is promoted as "stories of love and redemption." Lies, there's neither love nor redemption on those stories; while the stories try to entangle with the emotions of the viewer, the horrible acting, weak scripting and downright dumbed down characters don't help at all. Third, the writers didn't do any research regarding some of the thematics, which is grating and offensive, considering several episodes took on fashion trends (like the emo subculture, for example) and made them look downright offensive; Another one I can think is one of a teen aged girl who got pregnant and then she got dumped by her boyfriend, and suddenly wants to try abortion before her parents realize she is pregnant, but sorry, at a certain phase of pregnancy you just can't do that if you don't want to end jailed. And there are more examples, but the whole wrongs done by this program make me too lazy to list them all.
Music: Corny and melodramatic, usual in any soap opera. But here's the only salvageable point: the ending, a beautiful version of "La Guadalupana" pointing you out that you just lost a valuable hour of your life trying to figure out what did you just saw. At least that ending actually points out something good about the series.
And oh joy... let's go for the dialogues! Completely unreal and stupidly idealistic.
Overall, this TV show sucks. Avoid it like a plague.
Facing the Giants (2006)
This movie indeed has a message...
I remember watching this movie with a group of friends which were hardcore Christians (although I'm a devout Catholic, I do not fall in such extremes). To say the least, this movie has more propaganda than a Nazi Germany 1930's flick! Poor acting, scripting, bad Audio/Video synch, using Football as a tool (and perhaps as reference to "Remember the giants") to explain miracles... I can forgive such failures in "low--budget films", but there had to be a distorted biblical message to make things worse and then turn all the Shiloh football team into a massive plot device instead of being the real protagonists.
Yes, this has a message: "Become a Christian and enjoy the fruits of being so." I think not. Miracles aren't made by faith alone, but with blood, sweat, toil and a bit of faith.
Dünyayi Kurtaran Adam (1982)
So bad it's good!
This is one of the few movies, which despite the fact of being a movie that seemed to be done by boneheads (X-wing dogfighting in the TV screen, basic Special Effects, and spoofed soundtracks, and many more things...) it's in my favorite movie list for some reason I still can't think about.
I just had to drop my jaw at the display of "Fake Fu" and the Turkey sized plot holes which plagued at this movie, but still love this production.
Worth some time if you're in the need of wasting your time in bad movies. Watch it at your own discretion if you're a Jedi.
Suzumiya Haruhi no yûutsu (2006)
Great beyond any human description.
I have no words to really describe this series.
The premise behind this concept (a highly hyperactive girl with a very eccentric personality which ends up whirling up a team of oddballs into her own rendering of the world, which after all was a creation of Haruhi, since she wants a world with aliens, espers and time travelers) is a breath of fresh air in a world ridden with repetitive anime series and non innovative TV shows.
Characters are well developed, and you will end up loving them, some less than others. The word to describe the animation job does not exist, since "excellent" would really fall short to describe how was done. There are many funny situations which either will make you smile or put you into deep thoughts. Don't fall for the impression of the first episode, since that's only the tip of the iceberg, as the novels are yet to come.
The only problem comes due to the lack of chronological order in the episodes, but you can solve that problem, no?
Conclusion: Unquestionably, one of the best series of 2006.
House of the Dead (2003)
Suffer like G did?
Well, people who have played the game will understand the catchphrase, but without any further ado, let's go bash this movie.
The movie is bad. Terrible, and does not follow the game canon. There's no AMS, no G, no Tom Rogan (these two guys are the heroes from the first game), no pistols, no Roy Curien (main villain from the game), so, Where's the House of the Dead? Huh?
But yeah, there had to be clichéd lines, dumbed down teenagers, and lots of bloodshed. Except for Jürgen Prochnow, the movie is painfully terrible, and goes in par with Battlefield Earth for the worst movies in my arsenal.
Sega, how dared you gave rights to Uwe Boll to defile your best light gun game?
In conclusion, Save your DVD player by using this DVD for another use (such as using it as a frisbee or as a tracer gun ammo... but not to see this movie)
Monster Island (2004)
Looks are deceiving. This is fun!
Well, the movie is intentionally bad done. Very campy. Anyways, this movie is so bad that... it's fairly good. Adam West seems to haven't got rusty, and the other lads and lasses, even they don't act bad, they don't do it OK, but their acting gives it the campy feeling. The badly done monsters (done like those from the 50's, at least of low standards for these special effects ridden movies), bad special effects, cheesy storyline, and "terrible" acting makes the movie what it is, and so, it's funny. This is one of the few TV movies that despite the appearance, it's funny. Take the worst movie you have ever seen, multiply it by 10, then divide it by a very funny but fairly lame movie, and you have this movie. Seriously, this movie is good rubbish. Really good rubbish.
Battlefield Earth (2000)
A severe lack of brainpower?
What an ugly movie. When you look at the poster, you can notice a powerful influences from other science fiction series and movies, but minimized and reduce to a ridicule satire.
There are a lot of things without any explanation, like "Why the Psychlos didn't searched on Fort Knox?", "Why does a bunch of VTOL AV-8 Harriers (with an estimate of 1010~ years) didn't got rusty, or destroyed by the Psychlos, or become flyable, since the Jetplane gasoline must be dispatched when unused in a certain period of time", "How mankind went to that 'Stone-aged' ambiance with uncertain explanation", "Why didn't the radiation killed the humans?" and "How come the Psyclo breathing gas be so unstable, being an extremely advanced civilization that would correct that mistake a long time ago?" Bad movie. Travolta, you owe us a nice explanation for acting on this 'movie?'
Zapata - El sueño del héroe (2004)
As bad as Zapata, nothing can be...
After I read a summary of this movie, and taken a look to my wallet (Oh, $36 Mexican pesos, enough for a movie... :D ) I decided to go to the nearest movie theater to watch this "movie?", and that was a terrible psychological shock.
First: some errors on the history. Zapata was never an Indian, He never joined the army, He didn't faced off Huerta, He never teased others wives, and mainly HE DIDN'T TAMED HORSES WITH HIS EYES.
On the other hand, the acting was terrible, the sexual-themed scenes had nothing to do with the movie, and finally, I had to watch it as a homework (that was the worst of all, and it was optional...).
Definitively, if you want to see this movie, I will give you this warning: Value your sanity, don't watch it.