Change Your Image
larrylbryant
Ratings
Most Recently Rated
Reviews
The Colt (2005)
Warning-the DVD version is NOT family friendly
My wife loves horses and thought she remembered seeing this movie on TV many years ago. We couldn't find it for free to watch anywhere online but happened across the DVD version in a store and were excited to watch. The disc was clearly labeled as a Hallmark production but the rating said 'Not Rated'. We are old-school and do not watch anything that isn't family friendly, so I usually look movies up online before watching. The IMDB rating is TV-PG, which is about as mild as you can get, and there was no warning of anything objectionable.
We were shocked to start watching the DVD and heard three clear GD's within the first 10 minutes. This is not, in our home anyway, family-friendly language. We turned it off and did not watch the rest, so can't comment on how many more instances of profanity there might be. No doubt this was all edited out of the TV version.
I realize this kind of language is okay with many people these days but also know there are many others like us who still consider profanity to be R-rated material and would have appreciated a warning.
Ruby Herring Mysteries: Silent Witness (2019)
How Not to Make a Hallmark Mystery
My wife and I are big fans of most every other Hallmark mystery show and have been looking forward with anticipation to the new ones being premiered this month.
What a huge disappointment this one was. We were able to stick with it for maybe 45 minutes but became so painful to watch that we fast-forwarded to the end to see who did it without having to watch the rest of the mess.
Where to begin. Painfully formulaic plot with nothing new to offer. Cardboard characters. Surprisingly poor phoned-in performances from lead actors who are usually much better. No real 'rhythm' to the whole thing, just kinda floats along with little real suspense or drama. This whole disaster is as flat as a pancake.
And what was up with the weird hotel host/concierge/desk guy, who we agreed was the worst actor we've ever seen in a Hallmark production, yet he seemed to be kind of 'featured' and kept being given useless lines/scenes that did nothing to advance the story and could've easily been handled by others who actually had some acting ability. Extremely annoying.
Please Hallmark, do NOT waste your money making this useless pilot into a series.
One good thing about it, though--it's bound to make the other mystery premieres to come look muuuuuch better by comparison!
Christmas on Honeysuckle Lane (2018)
Emphasis on "suck"
My wife and I both really enjoy just about anything Colin Ferguson is in--always a friendly, engaging character and excellent actor, one of the best in the Hallmark stable.
Unfortunately, he's stuck in this snooze-fest with Alicia Witt, who is one of the worst. The irritating contortions of her mouth, along with so many silly and inappropriate facial expressions, are enough in themselves to ruin any chance she might have for a convincing performance. But add to it the fact that her character is a Negative Nellie who cries, pouts, smarts off, etc. throughout the movie, and by the end you're wondering--as my wife cried out--"why on earth would any man have anything to do with her??"
Ferguson's character is left with little to do but keep apologizing to her, which becomes eye-rolling because she should be the one doing so, pretty much every time. Most of the 'emotional' moments end up feeling manufactured and even silly, which steals any genuine emotional arc from the script.
And one more ingredient that probably does more than anything to crush everything else down to an emotional flatline--the boring, ever-present, do-nothing music that drones on continuously for two solid hours. It sounds just the same in the 'high' moments as in the 'low', doing nothing to really enhance a particular moment or separate it from the one that preceded it or follows.
I'm giving it two stars instead of one, only because of 1. Colin Ferguson's presence and 2. the gorgeous house, which in the end was the only real shining star in the whole thing.
Home for Christmas Day (2017)
Weak effort masquerading as a Christmas movie
My wife and I love Hallmark Christmas movies but agreed that this one was one of the worst we've seen.
The least of its offenses is that it's not even really a Christmas story at all, but rather just happens to take place during the season without much that actually ties in. Not a very 'Christmasy' feel to it.
The mother's poor parenting skills are another frustration. The teen-age daughter keeps lying, disobeying, making immature choices, etc. over and over again, then merely offers an excuse and apology (or not) and the mom never punishes or disciplines her. Perfect way to turn out a spoiled, self-centered, enabled brat.
We also really hated seeing Victor Webster, one of Hallmark's strongest male stars, reduced to a cardboard stand-up with very little of his typical charm and humor put to good use. His only purpose seems to be listening to the mom's (numerous) self-indulgent monologues.
Another letdown is the laughably contrived and manipulative 'surprise' ending, requiring at least two gaping plot holes (pointed out by another reviewer) to get there. We really wanted it to induce warmth and satisfaction, but alas, prompted eye-rolls instead.
The biggest problem, though, is the movie's lack of rhythm, flow and genuine-feeling drama, the blame for which should probably be shared equally between the overly melodramatic script and the sleepy performances. It's just two hours' worth of one drama queen conversation after another, accompanied by a nearly non-stop hypnosis-inducing music track that turns the whole thing into a flat, unsatisfying experience.