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Reviews
Jurassic World Dominion (2022)
Why, just why
I've been trying to wrap my head around how Colin Trevorrow went from Safety Not Guaranteed, a passable indie movie - but nothing special, to being given the keys to two of the biggest franchises in movie history, those being Jurassic Park/World, and Star Wars. He must have some serious dirt on the producers of said franchises, because there is no way he is experienced, or talented, enough to take on those movies, as shown in this frankly appalling "trilogy finale". It's awful, truly awful. We can only be thankful he was taken off of Star Wars, the damage done to that IP was bad enough with what we got, I can't imagine the horrors he would have unleashed on the SW fanbase. Please keep him away from important franchises, and back in the indie world where he might make another passable picture. Maybe.
Ms. Marvel: Generation Why (2022)
Strong start, likeable characters
One of the strongest starts for a Marvel TV show yet. Quirky setup, getting Spiderman Homecoming vibes from how the show is made, and that's definitely a good thing. Very likeable lead, lots of Avengers callbacks, good humour and just a very enjoyable first episode. Looking forward to seeing where they take it from here. 8/10 from me for episode 1. Disappointed but not surprised at the man-babies already scoring the entire show as a 1 out of 10 after only one episode, as it dares to represent a demographic that isn't them.
Loki (2021)
Great start, intriguing premise
If you've seen Avengers: Infinity War, and are aware of Loki's sacrifice - realise that the Loki we have here, isn't that Loki. This is still the 'bad' Loki from 2012 that hasn't fought for Asgard with Thor and Valkyrie, and therein lies the game...
Great first episode, loving the humour and the show is looking very promising.
The New Mutants (2020)
Awful
So this is how the FoX-Men universe ends, not with a bang... but with a whimper. A truly impotent entry into the Marvel 'legacy movies' collection and, thankfully, the end of an era.
Maisie Williams stands out as always, and does what she can with a bad script, but the rest of the cast and characters are bland and unintriguing. Genuinely didn't care what their powers are or how they got them.
Give this a miss, and wait to see what Disney and Marvel can really do with the X-Men and Fantastic 4.
Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)
Thank you Zack!
And thank you to the Snyder cut movement for making this possible. THIS is the Justice League movie we deserved, an absolute triumph and hopefully the Whedon cut will now be consigned to the trash can of history WB need to make this version canon immediately, and restore the Snyderverse!
Castle Rock: Caveat Emptor (2019)
Misery meets Cell in the King multiverse
Why are people complaining about the zombies? Haven't you all worked out yet that this is the Stephen King multiverse smashing together on a new level of The Dark Tower??
If you have read ANY of his books you'll know this isn't an 'Annie Wilkes' origin story, this isn't the same Annie Wilkes from Misery (50 years too late for one thing) nor is it the same Ace Merrill from The Body, or the same Pop Merrill from The Sun Dog. It's an alternate universe and do you think it's any coincidence that Bill Skaarsgard is the dark mischief maker, who was caged for TWENTY SEVEN YEARS in Season 1... ?
Holy moly people, go read King then come back and rewatch the show.
Lost: The End: Part 1 (2010)
The greatest TV series of its decade
On the 10th anniversary of the series finale of Lost, I decided to rewatch the entire show, having not watched it since it originally aired. I remember being enthralled by this show, from beginning to end, and it felt like the right time to return to the island, and to the people, of Lost.
A lot's happened in my life in 10 years. I've lost both parents, an uncle, two of my best friends, and even my cat, and so the ending of Lost really, really hit hard this time. I think back to the backlash when the show ended. "They didn't explain anything", "see I told you they were in limbo/heaven/hell the WHOLE time!", etc etc.
Those criticisms are, of course, wrong. Usually made by people eager to savage the show or who failed to grasp the concepts explored and revealed in the final season.
Everything that we ever needed to know is explained in the final season of Lost. We learn what the island is. We learn why the survivors of Oceanic 815 were called to the island. We learn the backstory of Jacob and the Man in Black, the origin of the smoke monster, the history of the ageless Richard, the importance of the numbers, and much much more. Anything that isn't explained, didn't need to be.
We don't learn of the origin of the island, because the characters didn't know, nor did they need to. In fact, we only learn as much as the oldest characters know. And that's enough.
Then we see the 'sideways flashes' in Season 6 are in fact a construct created by the survivors to find each other again when they eventually pass, and not an 'alternate reality' as we're led to believe initially. This is all explained clearly! The island was real. Their lives were real. And their deaths, were also real.
Binge watching the show across 6 seasons was a way to enjoy the adventure of Lost that I hadn't experienced before, and it was amazing. No waiting 7 days for a new episode, or months for a new season.
Heartbreaking, and exhilerating.
And the final shot of Jack laying on the island to die, with Vincent beside him for company, as we see the plane fly overhead taking Kate, Sawyer, Miles, Richard and Frank away to safety, and to live out their lives, is a mirror of the shows opening shot from Season one, and is heart wrenching. I cried a lot on the second watch, moreso than the first time I watched it 10 years ago.
Life happens, nothing can stop it, and it changes us with every moment.
Lost has secured it's place as one of the greatest stories ever told in the medium of television.
10/10 for the entire series.
Us (2019)
Wut?
The final 'twist' defies all logic, destroys the earlier 'explanation' and pretty much unmakes the preceding 110 minutes. Its not big and its not clever, it's grad student writing at it's most ridiculous. What were they thinking, smh.
Aquaman (2018)
Fun, exciting and visually stunning
After the steaming turd that was Justice League I didn't anticipate this latest DCEU offering being any good.
I was wrong. It's great. Not 10/10 great but still great. The synth heavy soundtrack and gorgeous trippy visuals set this apart from the other DCEU movies, making this the 'Thor: Ragnarok' of this franchise.
Go see it.
Mary Poppins Returns (2018)
So-so sequel
The original Mary Poppins is one of my favourite movies, and my all time favourite Disney movie, so I approached this new imagining with some caution. Reading some of the lower scoring reviews here, I'm surprised at the comments regarding the songs. Of course the original's songs are iconic, but remember we've been hearing them for 50 years and they're pretty much embedded in popular culture. How can a movie that's been out for a few weeks compete with that?
That being said, it's clear that Disney wanted this sequel to look and feel like the original, instead of stuffing it with CGI characters which is the way of most things these days. So we get lovely traditional animations and atmospheric sets, for me though there were just too many attempts at recreating some of the iconic moments from Mary Poppins. The ' trip the light fantastic ' song with the lamplighters was this movie's 'chim chiminee chim chim cheroo', and it didn't quite match up. The Meryl Streep scene an attempt to mimic the tea party on the ceiling scene, the balloons at the end similar to let's go fly a kite, and so on.
I think if they had perhaps added in more standout original scenes and comedy - the Dick Van Dyke scene was gold - then I think the movie would have been more memorable, but sadly the whole affair seemed a touch lacklustre.
Perhaps it will age as well as it's predecessor, only time will tell.
The 15:17 to Paris (2018)
Supremely Boring
Clint Eastwood has long passed his best, this movie was a chore from start to finish. Yes the actual event was heroic but the movie plods along at such a lethargic, awkward pace that by the time it happens on screen you'll be lucky to be awake.
Fear the Walking Dead (2015)
Meh
Let me just say what everyone is thinking: The Walking Dead tv adaptation became the phenomenon it is purely because it was developed by Frank Darabont. He is the reason why the first season was so compelling and propelled the show to where it is now. Look at the show now, insanely popular but nowhere near the caliber of show it once was.
Now, let's address Fear The Walking Dead.
The writing in this show is TERRIBLE. The characters are interchangeable stereotypes who make the worst decisions ever. Like... ever.
Wasn't the premise of the show to tell the story of what happened while Rick Grimes was in his coma and society was falling apart? Where are the army battling hordes? Where are the panicked millions? Where are the tv broadcasts that slowly dwindle?
Instead we get a family drama in a fenced off suburb with people somehow knowing what's going on yet no one talks about it? Annoying junkie teen, annoying pretty teen, annoying hispanic teen, annoying devout Christian hispanic woman mumbling about Santa Maria every 5 minutes, yes it's all here for your viewing displeasure.
What a total disappointment. 4 stars purely for the horde scene in Season 1 finale.
Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Best Thor movie so far
I'm scrolling through these reviews and there are a disturbing amount of 1 star-ers. Grow up, getting snooty over a superhero movie is pathetic.
This Thor is the BEST on screen incarnation of Marvel's God of Thunder yet.
Yes, it's full of jokes. Chock full of em, actually. But they land. All of them. And they don't detract from the fact that this is leading up to what we now know are the devastating events of Infinity War.
Cate Blanchett brings simmering sexiness to Hela, Thor smoulders and Hulk rages, Loki camps it up as always and even Heimdall was tolerable in this one.
The previous Thor movies have been a chore to watch, especially Dark World. I welcome this light hearted take on the world of Asgard and hope we see another Thor of this caliber (assuming he doesn't get offed in Avengers 4 of course).
Great entertainment.
Disenchantment (2018)
Most appropriately named show on Netflix
Absolute let down. Lazy, derivative writing that's neither clever nor funny.
Bring back Futurama, this blows.
Summer of 84 (2018)
A surprise!
80's nostalgia is very much 'in' at the moment with the success of Stranger Things and IT, so I approached this movie with a little scepticism given that it's not big budget or on wide release. How wrong I was to doubt it!
This is a fantastic little flick, extremely well written and directed and the lead players all give great performances, very typical of how teens were portrayed in the movies of the era.
The story centres around a group of four teenagers who begin to suspect that a neighbour is the notorious 'Cape Bay Slayer'. Nothing particularly original in the concept, we've seen it before in movies like The Burbs and Disturbia, even as far back as Hitchcock's Rear Window. The trick here is in the execution, and it's clearly a movie that's been made with a real love for the 80s and for the genre.
Those of us who were there will enjoy the pop culture references, which thankfully aren't over used and are subtly included to set the tone.
There's the usual annoyance of characters doing things that are apt to get them into trouble, but hey it's a movie and so we need these situations to unfold otherwise it would be pretty boring watching them hang out in a treehouse for 100 minutes right?
I won't drop any spoilers, the movie is better if you just go in and let it happen.
Give this one a chance and you'll be pleasantly surprised, I know I was.
Jigsaw (2017)
Deplorable
The original Saw was a masterclass in tension and terror, with an outstanding final twist. Then, gradually we ended up here, with another sequel that is ultimately a thoroughly unpleasant movie written by angry emos fantasising about how to torture and kill people.
Seriously, this is terrible. I once saw a post on a movie forum years ago with people offering ideas on how 'Jigsaw' could trap, torture and kill his victims. I'm pretty sure the writers of this mess were contributors.
And let's not forget the complete absurdity of the whole Saw franchise (after the first one) - terminally ill, weak and barely able to breathe cancer patient somehow rigs up these outrageous funhouses full of fantastic feats of engineering. Of course in this one Kramer has supposedly been dead for 10 years.
This is a horror movie for the brainless, dead inside millennials that now blight our species. Enjoy?