Tina_jeppesen Reviews

The Love Witch (2016)

Could have been better

[6/10 · 18 April 2024]

It looked AMAZING. No resolve though on her murders. She wasn't caught & she was quite the sociopath. There was so many subtle funny moments too. The way she kept saying "Poor babeee" lol especially when she was talking to her friends husband. Ooo I wanted her to go down for that & I didn't feel bad for him at all. He got what he deserved however she put a spell on him so maybe he didn't? Was the "spell" just a metaphor for acting all stepford wifey & a man fantasy about just saying how rough he had it with his wife & how she "understood" him & she didn't? Or was there actual spells? Police work was a joke but I'm sure that was purposeful to fit the 60s theme & whole theme? That Victorian Tea room was cool & I bet they actually have a place like that in somewhere like LA. I'm looking it up.... Ending sucked & by that point I had lost a bit of interest in it. Either way worth watching for how it looks alone.

Spookies (1986)

Why all the good reviews

[3/10 · 16 April 2024]

I had a "tip" lol this was B movie royalty- so I thought "I'm in" Well.....I'll start by saying it started off interesting yet typical enough. A bunch of kids or actually early 20s (?! A little old for having to search around for a place to party, but whatever) driving around looking for a place to "party" with one guy being the hilariously party guy douche (you just know won't be the final guy!!) and a kid getting buried after f-n around & finding out-which was kind of upsetting I guesss- except It all just looked SO FAKE. It was 1986, not the best special/practical effects yet but by this time there was way better. We just turned it off at the point where it looked as if a Halloween yard display was coming at the group & they were scared. Idk to me it seemed like a kids Halloween movie. Maybe I just didn't dig it because I don't have the nostalgia factor going for me on this one because somehow I had never heard of it before.

To add this: I'm all for the "so bad it's good" thing. To me this was just bad. So can't really comment on the ending as we couldn't get that far!!!

Clown (2014)

Different

[9/10 · 13 April 2024]

I enjoyed this & thought about rating it a seven or eight but would like to keep the reviews high enough on this one simply because it can be hard for me, a horror lover, to find consistently entertaining horror movies. This did keep me glued to the set! I had avoided it for some time just due to the saturation of clown horror. I really liked this one tho. I decided to give it a try when I was reminded it was Eli Roth. I dig Cabin Fever, Hostel & Green Inferno so.... It was creepy yet had some signature Eli Roth low key funny moments such as when the doctor mentioned adhesive & Kent says "I didn't use adhesive I'm not an idiot" LOL...there was a couple more times I laughed out loud. Another time is when the little boy, Jack, says the dog mighttt be acting funny because he ate the nose they pried off...Yet it didn't take away from the creepiness of the idea & story. Usually children are off limits but Eli went there but not too graphic with the kids, just implied off screen, & with leftover bones so I liked that because although it's just a movie I don't need to see kids eaten. The bully kid tho - hahaha. I wish he would have eaten the other bully kid instead of the innocent kids at the Chuckie Cheese. Him being in the ball pit was creepy!! Speaking of which my husband said as a joke right before that scene "Go to Chuckie Cheese" (Clown needed to eat 5 kids) & next scene was literally a Chuck E Cheese! Why not a 10? Idk I felt Eli Roth could have come up with a less predictable ending & some scenes could have been a little eerier such as when the mom (who looks like Malin Ackerman) looks through the old video camera. That scene could have been way creepier. At least he didn't go for a jump scare, that I thought was coming, although I actually don't mind jump scares in certain situations when they do make me jump!

Another thing was I wasn't exactly sure what it was that happens when she had the little girl in the car?! Who was that guy? A cop?? Why & where was the place she took her when she locked her out of the car (then realized she was doing wrong & tried to let her back in).... The clown had just specified take the kid back to Chuck E Cheese? Or maybe even back to her house- but where were they & how did the guy appear out of nowhere? Too bad the gpa had to die like didn't he understand DONT go back to the house?? DOH! Little kid who played Jack was a cutie pie not an annoying child actor. You really hoped he survived but also predictably you knew he would. The ending was very predictable & at that point I lost a little interest. Just think Eli Roth is capable of better endings. It was sad too in a way. I mean it all started with a good dad trying to make his sons bday party nice (who gets a CLOWN for their kids bday party nowdays tho hahaha...but without that premise no movie so...) Dog dies:( but in kind of a funny way- I mean they were just kind of ignoring the rabid dog who ate the nose?! Surprise surprise the kid knew something was up with him?!

All & all I would recommend this.

Totally Awesome (2006 TV Movie)

Neewww Kid

[8/10 · 29 March 2024]

This movie was so funny. Especially at the time & got barely any recognition. I think it was like a VH1 movie if I remember correctly & not at the theatres. It was so much funnier than movies like "Not Another Teen Movie" (by those hacks can't think of their names, who did those dumb parody movies) humor was much more subtle but funny. Love Joey Kern & Mikey Day. Brittney Daniel from Joe Dirt was good too. I heard she grew up around here, in the town I moved to, St Augustine Florida.

Chris Kattan as the creepo janitor was hilarious. The main actress and her scenes about how she just wants to dance are funny. The clothes alone were perfect. I wish this was on Tubi I'd like to see it again somewhere & see if I think it's as funny now.

Lucy's Really Lost Moments (1956)

Interesting

[7/10 · 14 March 2024]

I got through about 15 minutes of it because it was SO obvious to me, no matter how good of actors & comedians they were, that they had both lost their zest for each other & doing the same schtick they did for years. You can in fact even sense & see the anger between them. Can just tell they had been through a LOT in their marriage (as we know was true now) since "I Love Lucys" golden period. Awkward vibe. Still though, interesting & in color. Also, I fast forwarded through a lot & didn't watch it all after that-but saw a few fascinating scenes of the Desilu studios inside & outside. I love stuff like that. I may re-watch more just to check that out- I gave my review 7 stars simply because how nostalgically & historically interesting this is. Vivian Vance & William Frawley showed up. As I said I was just fast forwarding after the first minutes but I stopped on a part with Vivian saying her name was Vivian, not Ethel. That was funny because I had read she hated everyone calling her Ethel all the time & in Lucy's show in the 1960s about them being single she insisted her name on it be Vivian.

Mardi Gras Massacre (1978)

Obviously deserves like 1 star...BUT:

[6/10 · 8 March 2024]

It was too awesome for a "1" if you are a big horror nerd like me. In fact I would give it an 8-10 on that scale. Great late 70s stuff, sleazy for sure, & complete with disco dancing & poorly edited *fight* scenes. It was on the "video nasty" list as people mentioned. Now I didn't see a lot of those when I was a little 80s kid (well born in 70s, but too young to watch real horror still) because I guess they probably weren't at the video stores. That's a whole other subject considering what WAS. I mean for example there was "Faces of Death" for any 11 year old to take home?!? Plus I saw allll the known classics. Like how did they decide??

Anyway back to "Mardi Gras Massacre" (plus fill up my character quota) It was hilarious as others said!! Terrible acting, dialogue...plot....not ONE piece of real sounding acting LOL!!!...& HOW did I not notice his butt was cut out of his weirdo ritual performing costume as I read on here?? PLENTY of nudity if that's your thing!! Gore too, but all the exact same. It's hard to choose, but if I had to pick the cheesiest funniest thing it was the cops! Worse than "Pieces" (iykyk) all they needed to match Pieces was get a local college kid to do the police work haha...So as the serial killer is on the loose, the main cop is busy falling in luvvv with one of the prostitutes complete with stereotypical love scenes all over the city, them just enjoying their newfound romance as another is killed. Then he finally hits the streets with his cop partner & they come up with "We know he's going to hit again we just don't know when" -you think? That Sargent LOL!! "He's mine" or whatever he said. Then FINALLY when they catch him last minute (they first go to a bar to chill after they get an address...the BARTENDER seems more concerned than them & gets their butts in gear with MORE info, that he has 3 girls including the cops luv interest as if we didn't see that coming, even tho they have all the info they need finally, an ADDRESS) so they get to killers place, he's right there for the capturing & they slowly untie the girls as he strolls on out the back & slowly escapes down the stairs....they slowly "chase" & it ends with him stealing a cop car (lol) & going into the water, they find only his mask...He's still on the loose! What?? With that top grade police work? Why wasn't there a sequel?!? Is there?!? Idk if u would or wouldn't watch it because they couldn't top what we just saw!!

Dark Night of the Scarecrow (1981 TV Movie)

Best scarecrow movie

[9/10 · 29 February 2024]

I just really like Dark Night of the Scarecrow. I had seen it before. It came on from the Tubi algorithm last night after some average dark boring flick called "Scarecrows" (but that's another review...one I wouldn't bother with except to say I can see why it didn't become more well known) anyway back to this one: The way it starts off makes you think, especially nowdays, no it is not safe to leave your probably 10(?) year old little child with a grown man (Bubba/scarecrow) mentally disabled or not. Especially when she makes him kiss her, you think Uh Oh...but some people really are innocent. Bubba was. There was some typically portrayed red neck guys who they indicate had been harassing this poor man his whole life, and his loving mother.

They murder him in cold blood as he is disguised as a scarecrow (a "game" him & his mom had had to play before) -very sad. They get off in this small town in a circus like courtroom with his mom (Marlon Brandos sister in a sympathetic but tough portrayal, you feel sorry for her but she's no doormat to these creeps)...The only person besides her in this town who seem to believe in Bubbas innocence is the district attorney. We don't see much more of him. Main character is the creepy mailman who is dressed in his uniform the whole time up until the end when he's hilariously dirty & disheveled claiming "I can explain!!" As he is attacking the young girl, who HE wanted to molest in the first place, not Bubba, our innocent mentally disabled man. Creepo. The actor, Charles Durning in one of those roles he did so good in that you almost feel sorry for him because he plays such a creep you hope people don't associate him forever with such a repulsive role. They all did great in their roles. Right down to the supporting actors. Sad how the mom dies & mailman guy gets away with it, yet you know she is now at peace with her son, who was her whole life- and again- Bubba WILL vindicate her!

Also a bit of a mystery. We aren't totally SURE it's Bubba until the end. Ending is great. Creepy Mailman gets his due (he was the worst! He shoulda got the corn silo death- which has been ripped off in other movies) but still he gets his. The pumpkins being smashed was a great touch. That very ending was so good & pretty creepy. How Bubba/scarecrow turns & looks at little MariLee & also you aren't sure if it's "the end" it's great they are still "friends" yet kind of creepy the thought of a child still communicating with a dead haunted scarecrow! Perfect ending as he creepily turns to her, then sweetly gives her the flower. No it's not an Oscar winning masterpiece, but it's very entertaining throughout & even has a powerful "message" without coming off preachy, yet the message is clearly there. Prejudice & ignorance suck & maybe there actually is karma.

Tuff Turf (1985)

Cheesy

[4/10 · 22 February 2024]

Well of course it's cheesy just look at the name. I kept seeing this pop up on Facebook & people saying how much they loved it. Ok. Well we finally watched it. It was full on 80s. Only "cool" part was garage band scene, which you can imagine LA kids went to such places. Kim Richards hair needs to be cut a few inches lol. So cheesy that part where she starts dancing all over the bar & tables.

First time I saw James Spader play the good guy in an 80s movie (really I only have seen him in Pretty in Pink & The New Kids) There's just something missing in this and I guess that's why it never got as well known as, say, John Hughes movies. Robert Downey Jr (credited as just Robert Downey) stands out a bit. I enjoyed watching it more for the LA locations than anything else. Very predicable storyline we've seen before. Kind of like a combination of Some Kind of Wonderful, Pretty in Pink, Valley Girl...& others. The girls from "the other side of the tracks" lol. Rich kid, or former rich kid, falls for her. Girl had lost her mother to cancer, lived with her dad who looks like her great grandpa. Ever notice how OLD the parents of young teenagers look in these older movies?? The older I get the more I see the parents & teachers POV in these movies LOL. I mean the main character WAS ungrateful to his parents it seemed & the teachers portrayed as buffoons. He was just a rebel lol!!! Living in his big brothers shadow blabla....

The Love Boat: Julie Falls Hard/Double Wedding/The Dummies (1978) Season 2, Episode 14

Weird episode

[5/10 · 20 February 2024]

Lol but aren't they all. Let's see Julie falls in love with a guy in ONE DAY & I'm not seeing his irresistible charm myself but whatever. Sad how his girls want a mom so bad but that scene in Julie's cabin where she heard voices (of herself contemplating living life as a mom because one day guy) was interesting & kinda cool because I quickly looked around her cabin decor & it brought me back to my childhood, as The Love Boat does in general & of course the only reason I watch this cheese fest. Great 70s guest stars per usual; Tony Roberts, Ruth Buzzy, Sid Caesar & those blonde twins who CANNOT ACT LOL. Their storyline is the best I guessss in this episode so 70s & just fun Love Boat stuff...at least they fell in LOVE before the one week trip hahaha...BUT with the wrong guys!! What do you know? Well they're twins so you know the solution....the vantriloquist storyline with Buzzy & Caesar just creepy & weird! Haha!

Good Times: A Friend in Need (1977) Season 4, Episode 18

Great episode

[9/10 · 20 February 2024]

Good Times addressing suicide the way it did was really good. Showing in my opinion Jimmie Walker can act. I always thought he could but some of those things he says to his friend trying to keep him alert are really interesting & he truly sounds panicked. It was a different approach to addressing suicide and one I haven't seen in other tv shows especially at that time. Not too serious & didn't get into it too deeply yet enough to make someone think twice about A) all they have to live for B) how close you can come to dying and how he almost would not have came out of it if not for JJ keeping him alert & moving & calling the ambulance. Showed "JJs" caring side too without seeming forced.

Summer of Fear (1978 TV Movie)

Wes Craven

[5/10 · 26 January 2024]

Only reason I watched was Wes Craven & Linda Blair. Pretty predictable & generic by todays standards, but ahead of its time. I don't know that back then other movies like Poison Ivy, Hand that Rocks the Cradle, Single White Female...existed. I can't think of one before this so maybe this was one of the first. Well if it was it was better than given credit. It did succeed in Making me hate the country cousin, Julia. What a b*tch! One reason I came to the reviews is to see if anyone else noticed A) Why was the BROTHER showing interest in his COUSIN at first?? Like was this my imagination? If so was that normal back then? Because I didn't think so, I had cousins as a 70s kid!! Not in my family WTH lol.

B) "Julia" was "Beth" from Valley Girl.

C) How her brothers just disappeared at the end?! Like the script just got lazy haha.

D) That ridiculous hick accent & saying things like "study feller" she started with quickly disappeared & they made no mention of it again or how she had it because she was "native Ozark" (lol) just a very too fast/rushed explanation about being the maid....ending was very rushed. Coulda been quite the surprise for back then if done right & with more information & details about Julia/Sarah.

E) how tall WAS that dude who played Linda Blair/cousin stolen boyfriend & WHY was she just kissing him at the end?? Shoulda kicked him to the curb. I guess, like her dad, he was supposed to be under Julia's "spell"....

F -ha-) The "neighborhood occult expert"...lol...says she has the "certain look" of the Ozark people & lets anyone who's watched movies, & specifically horror movies, know exactly where this is going early on. Still, I wanted more details of her past.

Girls' Night Out (2017 TV Movie)

Better than the 1 star reviews

[8/10 · 16 January 2024]

I would actually give this about 5 or 6 stars but wanted to up the rating a bit. Don't think it's deserving of so many 1 stars. Yes the dialogue was kind of cheese but it's a b horror movie so whatever. The premise was different & fun & had me not bored the whole time, was interested. The "challenges" in the game the psycho played were gross & unique. The rape was different because it sheds light on how yes you CAN be raped in a relationship. As well as you can be raped even if you are a sexual being who has done wild sexual things consensually. So it was more layered than given credit even if it could have been done/written better. I also like how her fiancé wasn't some pussy he has a personality too & wasn't a cardboard cutout of the "perfect fiancé" his dialogue was actually some of the best -what little he had. The only thing I didn't really like as another said was the ending. I didn't dislike the twist BUT it felt rushed & not explained well enough. Also there could have been a few more & better subtle clues as to the twist. The end/end was super quick too. It's like it went from a decent pace to a rush ending. It also makes you think a little bit about hazing in sororities. The girls are sympathetic characters but then you realize in the past they had done these questionable things to pledges, and now they have to do it to each other so you don't really feel bad for them in that part. I liked it overall & am always looking for something a little different in my horror movies & this delivered that.

Barbie (I) (2023)

Not as hyped imo

[4/10 · 16 December 2023]

As another reviewer said, strong start. I thought I was going to love this based upon the first 20 minutes. Then after that there just seemed like so many missed opportunities for funnier moments. Missed opportunities for moments with what they were trying to convey. Many missed opportunities for comedy in Barbieland & in the "real" world!! It just seemed like it could have been better. One of the only funny moments was the rollerblading which everyone's seen in previews & trailers. Two of the only emotional moments was Barbie sitting next to a very old woman & when she cries after what the young girls at the table in school tell her. It could have been great between her & Ken (even if they only stayed friends I'm not saying that because they didn't end up "in love" ) but they just make him out to be nothing but a buffoon even at the end. No wonder if men don't like this. Although I'm all for women empowerment with or without a man especially with a daughter. I just don't think you have to discard men as such fools to do so, that only divides us...Even the big speech about women at the end that America Ferrera did really wasn't all that & could have been said even better.

Kens character was a joke. I don't like how things ended for him. They could have made weird Barbie funnier as well as utilized more past Barbies better than they did. Will Ferrell who I normally like was so lame in this, not really his fault given his lines. Visually it was great. I like how they brought in Rhea Perlman as Ruth. I was just hoping for so much more. Like leaving me with a good or even bad feeling. Something. I really had about as much feeling when this movie was over as any bad comedy I catch on tv. It was made out to be like there was some big point or message. I was actually avoiding watching it until I was in the mood to be blown away, for something emotional. Nope.

Hot Dog... The Movie (1983)

Borinnggg

[3/10 · 8 November 2023]

I think I watched this when I was like 12. Anyway time to re-visit Hot Dog the movie. I expected something at least as dumb/funny 80s style sex comedy as Porkys - and I am someone who gets into the 70s & 80s nostalgia big time. However unfortunately nope -it was not nearly as memorable or entertaining. I guess that's why people actually remember Porkys & certain scenes from it. It actually did stand out in the genre as bad as it was. This movie is just something anyone could write. Totally generic 80s cheese low budget stuff. Good guys face off bad guys in a ski contest. Along the way the leads -the good guys- fall in love -but uh-oh! They each get pursued & sleep with the "bad guys".....but they find their way back to each other. Who saw that coming....& oh ya you'll never guess who won the stupid ski contest. Lol.

I thought "Joysticks" was better. Haha. For real tho.

I gave it as high as a 3 only because it was interesting to see Shannon Tweed & David Naughton. I guess. Their parts are not very big.

The Bell Keeper (2023)

LAME, made no sense

[2/10 · 4 November 2023]

Plot sucks, kills suck, characters suck, acting sucks.... I was excited to see Chaz Bono in something. That's the only reason for 2 stars instead of 1 : my soft spot for Chaz Bono. Why he chose THIS is a mystery. I expected slightly more (just slightly) since the lady who plays The Nun was in it. For all of about 5 minutes. Same with Chaz. This is seriously so weak. So weak that there is only 7 people that bothered with a review. Now eight including mine. The premise/concept is different I guess. The whole bell thing. Then it goes way off track into being so lame, so predictable...& doesn't even make sense. Lazy effort & got lazier & lazier towards the end.

Speaking of the end- weak azz ending too. Sooo...the end is Chaz, the 2 survivors (extremely obvious who they will be from the get-go) drive off in his car with some plan of them being demon hunters together. Main kid (I allready forgot his name & we watched this 10 minutes ago) leaves his Winnebago/home there.... Worst movie I've seen in a long time & that is saying a LOT since I watch a lot of old 70s, 80s, &90s slasher & horror movies!

Killer Workout (1987)

Nothins shutting down Rhonda's!

[5/10 · 13 October 2023]

Not like 10 murders in 2 days, blood everywhere, nothing. Hahaha. Can you imagine someone at your job getting a safety pin to the neck, then another & another & another as others are getting their throats slit & bludgeoned to death and it STAYS OPEN. Not only that but cheerfully with horrible 80s music playing & everyone dancing/working out the whole time!

The victims put up like NO fight it's one of the worst examples I've seen of just stand there & stare & let the killer get you. With a freakin safety pin no less. Not even an arm to shield themselves or the slightest attempt to run away or even move their heads down or drive away in this horrible car scene. So bad it's good, yes. Except it seems like whoever directed this also did 70s & 80s cop tv shows based on the way & style of the fight scenes that drug out too long & nature of the chase scenes. Not really a "slasher feel" to those scenes, more like the ending of a Hart to Hart or Charlie's Angels episode or something. Weird. Not gory or scary in the least. Definitely LATE 80s slasher vibes. Not even creepy - except in a cheap kind of way. I prefer the late 70s/early 80s vibe to these type of slashers -but these can be fun too & worth watching if you are into all of it.

Predictable killer by the way- I knew within the first 10 minutes. However I was a tiny bit surprised by a couple of little twists to it.

Trog (1970)

Novel watch

[5/10 · 7 October 2023]

Just finallly caught all of TROG after all these years. LMAO. So as a horror buff first off I have to wonder was the first movie to hang victim on a meat hook?? Like did Tobe Hooper see this lol. Of course long before Goodfellas. Other than that what's there to say that other reviews have not. I read Joan Crawford wanted to do this movie because she always wanted to play a *scientist* lol. Seriously. I always assumed it was about money & maybe the passing thought that it would actually be taken seriously or a success like Whatever Happened to Baby Jane...NOT!!! Well either way my husband & I had a fun time watching it & it's mandatory viewing for anyone that can enjoy the silly stuff!!

The Funhouse (1981)

The greatest year of slashers

[9/10 · 3 October 2023]

Another one from 1981!! It's got it all. Tobe Hooper as director. A masked villain! A crazy family! A group of clueless kids making bad decisions that make you want to say NO don't do that! A pesky little creepy brother (wants to see his big sis naked AND obsessed with horror lol?!) who does actually NOT re-enter the plot in any significant way as you'd think is coming. A classic VHS box with a character (the clown) that has nothing to do with the movie- per the way of 1981 lol. The kid side plot makes it even better though because that's the unexpected. You EXPECT him to tell his parents or police (& then they go to help & either do or more than likely get killed trying) but instead he just gets caught sneaking out to spy on his sister & check out the carnival & goes home & goes to bed lol!! Not to mention there IS normal people working the carnival who find him & actually call his parents. Another unexpected turn because you kind of assume you he will wake up to danger too or him & his sister escape together bla bla bla...but this was before the era of all horror following the same old tropes that ironically CAME out of most from THIS era in the first place. The cheap lazy formula following tropes was more mid -late 80s when they just started churning out money grabs after the success of the early 80s/late 70s. IMO.

You can definitely see Tobe -in it he sort of followed the same ideas from TCM -if u know u know....but not way too much. He went with the slow burn, lots of enjoying the carnival. I liked that though. It reflected the creepiness of the exploitation of the old pop-up carnivals. Boobs too to entertain the men (and women) and it's 80s style -they aren't too hot that's for sure. Realistic. Disturbing tho how young the lead looked in the beginning (being naked) but come to find out she wasn't as young as I thought when I looked her up. She was of age even tho she didn't really look it & wasn't supposed to be. I think they are assumed to be highschool students which was common then & now but I think now there's are a little more careful about showing or insinuating naked young highschool kids, like if they go with nudity nowdays they up the age-or should.

My only gripe was he should have kept the creepy Frankenstein style mask on longer or even the whole time. It would have been that much creepier to wonder what was under that big headed mask than the over-the-top creature underneath ala "It's Alive" in fact he was kind of comedic & ridiculous looking after the unmasking. If they went with the unmasking early, as they did, he should have looked a little more realistically creepy. Then the whole angle of feeling a little bit sorry for him would have worked better.

Per Tobe not too much gore- in fact close to none. That's ok with me I'm not a gore hound although I can handle it & appreciate the art that goes into that too.

Overall I love The Funhouse! Great way to kick off the October horror marathon!

Cook Off! (2007)

Reviewing to give a ten

[10/10 · 22 September 2023]

I felt obligated when I saw this got an average of 4 stars to get it higher. At least I LAUGHED. I can't tell u how many comedies I watch that does not happen. Comedy is my favorite genre (and horror- but it's easier to find decent horror or at least watchable!!) with comedy tho if it's not funny it's just boringggg. I really enjoyed this. You must like Reno 911 humor- very similar feel.

You have to have an appreciation for the subtle things not big obvious things. Such as the gross band aid hanging off Melissa McCartneys chin that onlookers would be grossed out by it could easily fall into the food lol!?? Or when a character tells his fiancé he's gay and you barely notice unless u listen how she says they will fix this: he can go to a special camp called "Straight Ahead" & do craft projects lol. It's not a laugh out loud hilarious movie it's more like Reno 911 or Parks & Rec or the office (as in consistently subtle humor throughout..)

Oh by the way Melissa McCartney is not even really in it very long. That's ok I kept waiting for her to appear onscreen & when she did the other actors were funnier with better story lines anyway.

It's not the funniest comedy I've ever seen or probably not even the top 20 but it's better than just about anything I've seen recently (comedy-wise) - old or new.

Jersey Shore Shark Attack (2012 TV Movie)

Funny but..

[8/10 · 28 July 2023]

Ok so this doesn't really warrant an "8" but I've watched sooo many bad shark movies. So in comparison...This one is actually funnier & a more interesting watch than most. I know that's not saying a whole lot lol but some of the comedy in it IS kind of funny. Missed opportunities though as it could have been even funnier with the Jersey Shore aspect. The "Complication" lmao! The Snooki/Nooki character could have been cast better with someone who wasn't so traditionally attractive & had funnier lines. Coulda gave the other girl characters more funny lines but only so much time I guess. Not a lot of Shark attacks it was really more of a comedy which I guess is obvious even going in on the title alone. So it could have been better if they focused even more on that part. All & all I would watch it if you're looking for a shark movie that's a little bit different than the rest. Even the shark idea is a bit different (albino sharks who live deep at the bottom of the ocean lol- well at least we know there actually ARE unknown creatures that live that deep- they didn't go with the mutated sharks due to some chemical thing that's been done a lot) They even did the trope of the locals verses the "rich preppies" which I thought was intentionally poking fun at so many other movies that have that & idk if they were trying to be clever with that but it kind of was. Well at least it's not trying to take itself seriously & a bit better than allll those other Shark movie options.

The Last Shark (1981)

Like watching history of rip-off movies

[5/10 · 28 July 2023]

Interesting if just to analyze the beginning of bad rip-offs & low budget movies. Clearly a low budget Jaws rip-off. Bad editing (you can't tell exactly what is happening in most of the shark attacks...) Speaking of the shark..lol...fake looking so not scary. Terrible soundtrack & bad editing with that too. Pretty boring but kept watching it based on my curiosity of Vic Morrow (Jennifer Jason Leigh's father who sadly passed away on the set of the Twilight Zone movie the following year) cheesy dialog. Although boring it's sorta kinda interesting to me due to the time period in which it was made. I always enjoy watching the clothes, cars, atmosphere etc from early 80s especially horror. The ending was cr*p for some reason he dives sideways into the ocean as he blows up the shark instead of just pushing the button on the thing (yep he even blows up the shark ala Jaws!! They even have a very predictable helicopter scene!) I guess Vic Morrow is supposed to be our "Quint"?! Idk it's funny to see just how much of an attempt this is to cash in late to the party on Jaws but all & all nothing to write home about. I would suggest Orca if you're looking for something Jaws-like but better & different & not such a blatant rip-off.

13 Cameras (2015)

Disgusting but lol

[6/10 · 6 July 2023]

If u are looking to be truly grossed out by the killer in a horror movie this is the one for u! I had seen 14 cameras a few years back then saw this one on Tubi so what the heck.... I only recommend it enough for idk I guess 6 stars because it is watchable & scary & keeps your attention...a bit slow paced & not a lot of kills but horror movies rarely actually scare me but this one IS creepy. It's just too realistic & something that seems like could actually happen & probably has not the exact scenario but all different parts of the movie. BUT it is DISGUSTING. Don't even plan to snack while u watch this if u are easily grossed out. This dude is repulsive & there's many little things u notice if u are watching the movie closely. Like him zipping up his pants & wiping off UGH SO NASTY (& again maybe a little too realistic if u are looking for a fun horror movie, although it's kind of laughable as to how gross it really is!!) & the bucket -u knew what it was for- & the toothbrush -YUCK - I can't even with that. I really didn't like the ending certainly wasn't a happy ending. You will be all for Mr Cheater & his ho getting it from this creeepp because they are creeps too!!! I wanted the poor pregnant lady to get away but then again that would be the predictable ending & they didn't go for that - but she was innocent & so trusting (like come ON -if your husband went outside to talk in the phone MULTIPLE times in the middle of the night what woman wouldn't go listen lol?! & after a TON of weird calls on both their phones hers mysteriously gets a glass of water spilt on it & he RUSHES to take it to get "fixed" but tells her she needs a number change...finding jewelry by the pool, the worst was not picking up on how weird he acted around his "assistant" when she showed up looking like a "baywatch girl" -as she put it etc etc...okkkk I think most wives would pick up on SOMETHING....but I digress...) but u allready feel so bad for her u really want her to get away & the innocent baby in the grips of that monster is a horrible thought. Of course we can assume he killed the innocent dog as well:( Just one more gross thing the way he fed everyone including the dog those fast food bacon cheeseburgers. Must be his favorite LOL. Nasty movie. Kinda regret watching it hahaha.

I'm putting spoiler alert on here!!!

Pieces (1982)

If you are like me-watch this!!

[8/10 · 19 June 2023]

In other words you have to diggg & appreciate trashy gritty sleazy late 70s early 80s slashers & horror. If u don't- u will think this is exactly that: trashy, sleazy, in all kinds of bad taste, bad acting (well at least it seems with the horrible dubbing but I'm sure it's not the best regardless....) Linda Day George & her husbands dialogue are absolutely hilarious. The hilariously slack & bad evidence contaminating police & the way they get a random kid/character to do their work!!! Their LINES- OMG lolol- There's just too many ridiculous lines applying to a very serious situation (but they act like it's about as serious someone held up a 7-11 with a water gun or something!! Lol!!) to choose from. The look on my husbands face when "bad chop suey" guy came out. WTH!? Well I knew -because I have obviously seen it more than once including as a kid- so I had read trivia about there being a "kung fu" type of movie being filmed next to Pieces at the time. STILL- WHY? Hilariously out of place & racist. Homophobia too didn't realize was stilll so "normal" when I was a kid. When the creepy dean is discussing another weird creepy teacher (almost everyone in this movie is creepy in some way haha....) he acts like being a homosexual is much much worse than being a violent psychopathic maniac killing people!!! Must see for 80s slasher vans especially if u can get into pure sleaze & LOTS of gore so expect that.

The Stuff (1985)

So much fun

[8/10 · 15 June 2023]

I forgot all about "The Stuff" & somehow missed out on it back n the day! If u are an 80s horror fan this is a MUST. It's quite obviously -much like "Brain Damage"- a metaphor for drugs? Also, yes as others have said consumerism & marketing.

I freakin loved it. My ONLY complaint would be there was too much time spent on the main characters ending the madness & less on the effects on the world & kills of the Stuff. It was hilarious when the mom made stuff for dinner...I mean the whole movie is hilarious. I wondered if they got the idea from an old episode of Hart to Hart with the cracky dog food "dogonnits" LOL...check that episode out if u liked The Stuff.

Plenty o plot holes & make no sense editing but that's par for the course with 80s horror & just made it more fun. Like I think they edited out whole scenes where the "romance" (lol) got started. I mean one second they were supposed to go out to dinner (never showed that) & next second they are a couple?! Sleeping together at the hotel but with clothes on & separated so not sure what was goin down there! Did they edit out the obligatory sex scene too??? Who knows but that part gave me Halloween 3 Season of the Witch vibes - in fact facets of the whole movie did- which was great lol!!

The kid?? Please don't eat that shaving cream instead lol -but I guess it saved his life. Also- they seemed totally unconcerned about his whereabouts when they drove to the hotel- meanwhile he's trapped n the Stuff truck!?- but that worked out n the end of course....decent ending too because what I expected was for them to think they saved the world of the Stuff and then we see it bubbling out of the ground with someone else discovering it again (love how dude just EATS it at the beginning haha) but they went with a more unexpected ending somewhat.

All & all I would soo recommend The Stuff!!!

The Slayer (1982)

Only stars are for atmosphere

[4/10 · 7 June 2023]

Idk what is up with all the good reviews on Slayer. As a huge late 70s- early 80s horror & slasher fan I did not like it hardly at all. I am getting down to the bottom of the barrel watching slashers & horror I somehow missed back in the day- usually go find I rather re-watch my favorites. I love it when I get lucky & find a gem I missed but this is a perfect example of the bottom, leftover choices) I still needed to see tho!) In fact the only thing I liked was the feel of the time period & atmosphere of the island. The island no sane group of people would have gotten dropped off at with no resources to send or call for help! Yes this was 1981 no cell phones etc -but they didn't have a landline & got dropped off by private plane by one guy- who seemed weird of course (he was the old timer "warning" them ala crazy Ralph except he was also the pilot that their lives depended on to get back home again...lol. ) & there was a big storm coming to boot. The island didn't seem like the best vacation spot -it seemed deserted, creepy & they had to walk over a mile with all their luggage just to get to the house they were staying at. Anyway get past all that & they stilll make really bad "let's split up" style decisions all through the movie. Lol- but it's too borrrrring to be unintentionally funny. Or scary. There was a couple times it got tense but by the time it payed off to anything I was tired of watching the scene. The ending? Don't get me started. So dumb. What did it even mean exactly? There were like, 2 parts, to the ending - both dumb!! I guessss it meant she was dreaming the whole thing as a child? Or was she just having a flashback.

People are comparing it to Nightmare on Elm Street, or saying it was an influence. I felt like no, it was just some lazy side story almost that wasn't even explained correctly (her dreams in relation to whatever we just watched) the only part that sort of explained that maybe we were supposed to be watching something like NOES was when she was drinking coffee & saying to herself to just stay awake. So I suppose she was supposed to be conjuring this thing up since her companions only got killed when she was asleep?? What about the fisherman tho? Was she asleep then? Doesn't really explain this well at all.