zdsdead-225-754209 Reviews

The Tourist (2022–2024)

The kidney gag kept me in stitches.

[8/10 · 13 February 2024]

Numerous other title's endlessly stream across the Netflix universe and so terribly many of them are not very well written.

This one so far seems to not make me look for the remote 20 minutes in, or somewhere in the second or third episode when the senseless brutality or sickeningly sappy cheer makes my teeth hurt.

However, the opening sequences of the semi chasing the little car in the desert was close. I thought this is going to be some Stephen King ripoff that started Mr Kings earliest days working with bad screenplay adaptations of otherwise quite well executed books.

The crash scene was when that question started to fade.

A confused woman who seems to be police officer and the pushy voice urging cheese puffed pastry reminded me of everytime I want a burger, but no fries, and I get them anyway.

Why would she not throw away the wrapper?

The lard group was another sequence that had to have a purpose.

This leads us to her own personal arena where amnesia would do her well. (Forgetting the not yet established mate best forgotten) A man buried with a butane lighter and cell phone bars?

But the reason I think that I chose to watch more? The Dewey Crowe nod.

I'm not revealing anything about the story. Not much else to offer. I'm not even midway into the third episode but this story seems more interesting than nearly anything else on Netflix since Better Call Saul or a short list of other shows among the far too many forgettable ones to suffer through only to forget that you even watched them merely a couple weeks before.

Yellow Bird (2023)

One almost very amusing line.

[2/10 · 17 May 2023]

The reviews written by middle schoolers are nearly unanimously in favor of this low budget film. If any of the writers were adults, they clearly didn't master spelling or grammar skills before dropping out of the schools they attended for whatever short term they managed.

That being out of the way, the only few lines that this movie has that were deserving of attention and mild favorable criticism were spoken by the least redeeming of the characters: the obese daughter of the gold digger wife. When she states that she was watching Honey Boo Boo and something happened, this nod at the lowest level of recently passed pop culture was enough to convince me to watch another few scenes in hopes of another possible moment of mild amusement.

Later when this piglet of a horribly broken "wife" appears at the stores parking lot to add further indignity to the sorry sap that's that's the protagonist by opening her yap to cry to her sow of a maternal figure and beg for further punishment to the man who has been made to suffer as their whipping boy.

The punk who is managing the store has even less redeeming value, but sadly is precisely what passes for a man that's been put in charge of a sorry group of people to abuse and somehow not be called out for his (did I correctly choose the pronoun?) sexist behavior, as well as the blatant ageism this putrid little pustule oozes, with zero consequences. Whereas in real life in this current world of seeking every opportunity to be libelous in such situations.

In short, this isn't worth sitting around long enough to see what eventually happens.

House of Lies (2012–2016)

Amusing? A bit. Raunchy? Certainly.

[5/10 · 22 December 2021]

When every episode contains a gratuitous sex scene that suggested that the director is quite likely a failed porn filmmaker you need something to carry the story. Right?

The non stop workplace sexual assault banter makes me wonder why I was singled out for once sending a humorous Christmas card that (the actual content of which wasn't memorable enough to actually recall the joke, I only recall the reprimand.) I erroneously emailed globally at an office job I held back in the early 2000s. Something to do with Santa setting aside a candy cane dildo for the Mrs. Clause after the nights deliveries I think.

The entire 5 season fiasco seemed to get more and more like a car accident each episode.

Fwiw the first season was amusing and enjoyable. Despicable minions of Cheadle's Pod, one and all. But it was fun.

The second season was just terrible.

More pointless gratuitous sex, enough so that even my wife seemed to grow bored, even when it was a male being the naked one.

I came to grow so sick of Marty's naked presence that I was fast forwarding her nude scenes. My reason was because I was tired of seeing her tits. When at long last the final season arrived I watched simply to finally be rewarded by the one pair of tits that weren't breasts that barely could be called tits at all we're finally on display.

My wife actually made a comment regarding big tits I have never heard her say: "Those are really great tits" without the snarky FAKE or AIRBRUSHED comment that I've been hearing for 20+ years.

The pathetic finale was redeemed only because I think the great tits were in the final episode, or perhaps the previous one. The rest of the show wasn't memorable enough to ever bother watching again.