Change Your Image
daviddeep
Reviews
Almost Dead (1994)
I shall defer to the wisdom of the esteemed Dr. Doherty
Although previous posters have correctly identified this movie as a sub-B quality piece of junk, it cannot be completely dismissed without reference to a few of its off-kilter treats.
For example:
1. A tough, misunderstood "good cop" (played woodenly by fellow "Charmed" alum, Costas Mandylor) who spends time hanging out in a holding cell trying to impersonate a prisoner, and mumbles such memorable lines as, "This gun can kill anything -- alive or dead!"
2. A hunchbacked bartender/sidekick (what were the writers thinking??) who enjoys watching Shannen Doherty as she sleeps, makes her breakfast, then tells her fake stories about murder, disease, and his imaginary ex-wife's fondness for fine bedding.
3. An inexplicable throwaway scene in which Doherty's boyfriend (William R. Moses) is psychoanalyzing Mikhail Gorbachev as he reclines on the stereotypical couch!
4. Exhumed corpses that disappear, then sometimes reappear, with no relationship whatsoever to the plot of the film.
5. Perhaps the world's worst-ever funeral muu-muu as worn by the mother of Doherty's character. Who would allow a beloved relative to be buried in that?
6. Shannen Doherty as a psychology professor/research scientist?? 'Nuff said!!