gordytheghoul Reviews

Missing in Action (1984)

hear the Chucksauras roar

[6/10 · 3 September 2012]

MISSING IN ACTION and MISSING IN ACTION: THE BEGINNING Just in time for his big screen comeback, these two Chuck Norris favorites arrive on blu-ray disc. Coming from the less than believed producers Golan-Globus, the Cannon logo never looked more gloriously cheesy than it does in high definition, these 80's "gems" are a part of the whole lets go back and win the Vietnam conflict wish fulfillment fantasies of the Reagan/Bush era. On that scale of things, these two pictures come on the short end, not living up to the high mark leveled by Sly Stallone with Rambo: First Blood Part II or Gene Hackman and his all-star crew in the much needed on blu-ray Uncommon Valor.

As it is, these are the film the legend that is Chuck Norris is probably best known for. The first picture is by far the better of the two, which producers Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus knew, because actually these two pictures where shot in reverse order, but once the mini-moguls saw the flicks, they new that they had one turkey and one half way decent programmer on their hands.

Here starring as Col. James Braddock, the role he was born to play, Chuck leads a rescue mission for MIAs still keep prisoner in Vietnam years after the war. Aided by a bullet proof raft, a never ending supply of ammo and a better than this movie deserves partner in character actor M. Emmet Walsh. This works pretty nicely as guilty pleasure escapist entertainment that still holds up fairly well. Hear the Chucksaurus roar.

MIA 2 on the other hand is whole different beast. Cheap and shoddy looking, it feels like a real bad TV episode from the era. With Chuck easily out acting, yes you read that right, most of the rest of the cast. This movie is just a sloppy, silly mess with a storyline so absurd that it almost has to be seen to be believed. Although, it must be said that at times the flick goes so far over the edge as to be comically, making it often so bad that it is funny, if not exactly good. A twice over infinity of internet jokes were born right here.

Hijacked (2012)

I wanted to like this, I really did

[4/10 · 3 September 2012]

The picture begins successfully enough with the under appreciated Vinnie Jones playing a suave British secret agent. Looking snazzy in a tuxedo, cool and cunning. You know he can jump into action and kick some serious butt at any minute, but first he must flirt with the ladies. This opening seems to make a successful case for ol' Vinnie as the next 007. Unfortunately, this is not a Vinnie Jones show and after a rather tedious shootout, Jones disappears from the movie all together.

Hijacked is a routine, merely adequate action vehicle for Expendables star Randy Couture. Incompetently Directed by Brandon Nutt, this Nutt seemed to believe in the film's merits as he co-produced as well. Couture, the Washington state born former UFC superstar turned action hero makes a go at his first starring role, I wish I could say he is the next great action star, but I just can't. He is stiff and lacking the essential charisma for that, he has an unkempt look reminisce of Jason Statham, but is lacking the Stath's virtues. Here, Couture is easily over shadowed by his more experience co-star Dominick Purcell, who gives the film's best performance.

The story is familiar, the plotting strictly by the numbers. The production at least looks good, the first part of the picture is set in Paris, so we get some better than expected locations, not the far too common ugly grays of Eastern Europe, which is cheap to film in. Most of the story takes place on an airplane though, this will make many viewers aware of superior actioners of the past such as Air Force One and Executive Decision. Not too much on the action front either as we much wade through nearly half the movie for it to really get going, then it precedes to take silly turns with lots of gunfire on the airplane. It all goes on too long, too boot. Finally landing with a you've got to be shitting me "twist" ending. Couture's professional nickname was "the Natural", obviously it applied to his athletic skills, because when it comes to his movie star cred, he is anything, but a natural.

Catch .44 (2011)

so bad it's embarrassing

[1/10 · 3 September 2012]

Aaron Harvey, the writer and director of Catch .44 wants to be Quentin Tarantino so bad that he has transformed himself into a zeroxed black & white copy of the great man. Evident by this film, which barely was given a theatrical release last winter and is now out on DVD and blu-ray to sucker unsuspecting poor souls who are going to say, well it's got Bruce Willis and Forest Whitaker in it, how bad can it be. Trust me, it can be bad, it can be real bad.

One of the executive producers is David Willis, can you guess who's brother this is. I suspect that David got on board this picture, and brother Bruce did him a solid by appearing in it, thus not only giving the movie credibility which it did not deserve, but also attracting other name actors. It should be noted though, that Willis is not the film's star despite what the marketing tries to convince you of, in fact, he has a rather small role. At least it can be said, he has the movie's best role, which still falls short of memorable.

Filled with lots of lackluster dialogue used in long uninteresting speeches, filtered with endless profanities, used by lowlife characters. This picture knows what it wants, to be a Tarantino film, just doesn't have the slightest idea of how to achieve it. The movie begins in a diner, is filled with flashbacks, has grindhouse style cuts and fade-outs, and even goes for a cool/hip ironic post modern sense of humor, evident in a scene where characters listen to a old cassette tape of Bruce Willis music from the 80's, ho ho. Filled to the gills with unresolved loose ends and dead ends. If this is all too much for me to stand, and I have a pretty high tolerance for this sort of stuff, I really pity the poor soul that rents/buys this thing believing that, well it has Bruce Willis and Forest Whitaker in it, how bad can it be. You've been warned.

Bel Ami (2012)

A gigolo in dullsville

[2/10 · 23 August 2012]

Twihards insists that critics are unreasonably harsh on the virtues of Robert Pattinson, but notice that they don't rally enough enthusiasm to actually see any of his non-Twilight flicks such, I suspect this is because they realize that there youthful infatuation does not out way the fact that pictures such as Remember Me are not any good, and possibly they also understand that Pattinson himself is no better than the material. In Bel Ami, he is actually given very good material, based on Guy de Maupassant's 1895 novel, but he is merely only the weakest link in speciously poorly made movie.

Pattinson plays Georges Duroy, a literary rogue, a skillfully charming social climber, or as de Maupassant himself subtitled his book, "the history of a scoundrel." Here he is transformed by Pattinson into a thoroughly unlikable reprobate, who's unreasonably smug and arrogant, a womanizer and a manipulator, it would be a stretch to call this guy an anti-hero. Pattinson lacks the necessary charisma to pull off such a role, think of Johnny Depp in The Libertine a few years back, he seems ill-at ease here, as if he understands that the material is staggeringly out of his depth.

A capable supporting cast comes across mostly badly for one reason or another. Uma Thurman is primed and proper, but has to wobble her way through some horrendous dialogue. Kristen Scott Thomas plays frigid better than any other actress I know, oddly enough, a British actress, she has been a lot more warm and human in some recent French language films. Here she has little to do, but does successfully manage to exert great empathy for her repressive and shrewish character, but she also manages to remain unmoving and their for dull. Colm Meaney and Philip Glenister, two good actors, play the other men in Pattinson's vehicle, this may explain why they fail to get any dynamic scenes or many scenes for that matter away from the dull lead. Only Christina Ricci adds any spark in a spirited supporting turn, but her role is only one dimensional, she comes across more like someone's pet than as a fully developed human being.

The proceedings unfold so monotonously, that at one point Pattinson utters the line "this is so boring this endless to and fro." You don't get any more surreal than when movie characters start uttering your own inner thoughts. Everything fails to liven the surroundings, the sex is passionless, the character's motivations either unpleasantly despicable or maidenly vague. No wonder Pattinson is famous for playing a vampire, he is perhaps the most bloodless actor I have seen in ages, these days he's outclassed by Daniel Radcliffe.

Adapted by Rachel Bennette and directed by Declan Donnellan and Nick Ormerod, first time directors, who like most virgins know the basic moves, but lack the skills to be fully satisfying. Set in and around Paris at the end of the 19th century, the details look good, though pretentiously photographed by Stefano Falivene, it is filled with what one character calls "astonishing depths of emptiness." Pattinson has recently formed a partnership with legendary cult director David Cronenberg, they have a finished film title that I greatly anticipate titled Cosmopolis set for US release in August, after that they have another film in development. Maybe Cronenberg sees something in Pattinson that has been missing up until now on screen, but will fans ever warm to the actor outside of his popular franchise, I don't have the answer, but one thing that is for sure, it wont start with Bel Ami, a beggar's version of Dangerously Liaisons.

Haywire (2011)

A confused mix bag of old tricks

[3/10 · 23 August 2012]

Haywire, the latest, but not necessarily the newest film from Steven Soderbergh, having been on a shelf, looking for a distributor, for a good long while. It wasn't exactly worth the wait, as it is a confused, mixed bag of old tricks, but it is also not entirely without interest. Arriving on DVD and blu-ray after receiving a lukewarm theatrical response from critics and a cold shoulder from audiences. It strives to be a standard B-level thriller, really wants to be a John Le Carre-esque character based study in foreign intrigue, all when it actually should be a vehicle to showcase Gina Carano's talents, which is not acting, but martial arts proficiency. As such, Haywire fails on all accounts.

The storyline is strictly blah, it's the kind of recycled espionage potboiler plotting that we've seen far too many times before. Scripted by Lem Dobbs, this is really lazy writing for such a talent who has taken more than his fair share of genre efforts to greater heights. His credits include the imaginative Dark City, the routine, but clever De Niro-Brando mash-up The Score, and his excellent past collaborations with Soderbergh, Kafka and The Limey. The dialogue here is flat and does nothing more than to push the story to it's expected conclusion, a lot of fine actors are left looking for something to say.

When it comes to Carano the actress, she is just okay, lacking essential charisma, but able to pull off a certain authority in the role. This is not, as so commonly reported, the MMA star's first film role, but it is her first substantial one. I do see a future for Carano in film, and not just as the 21st century answer to Cynthia Rothrock, but maybe more in the realm of supporting roles, I have already heard that she may be cast in the next installment of the Fast and the Furious franchise.

An excellent supporting cast is left to save the picture, but are mostly left floundering. When I first heard about this picture, two years ago or more, I had a sinking suspicion that Soderbergh had assembled a top flight all-star supporting cast in an attempt to buy credibility. My suspicions, I think, have been confirmed. Still a cast like this, including Michael Douglas, Antonio Banderas, Ewan McGregory, Bill Paxton, Michael Fassbender and Channing Tatum, among others, doesn't disappoint, they easily rise above the material. Fassbender in particular, with Douglas still is in command even in small roles, but also Paxton in his first big screen appearance since 2004.

Soderbergh has, over the years, proved to be something of an uneven director. While he has made many a good and even great movie, he also seems to have a certain affinity for hackneyed material. Soderbergh can be a daring, original and evocative filmmaker, except he also directed the three movies in the Oceans trilogy. He also likes to show off his additional filmmaking talents, here he is not only the director, but also the editor and cinematographer, he does all these jobs quite well, but perhaps he is wearing too many hats, or could it be that his head is bigger than I realize.

Haywire begins and ends with the same word, and pardon my crassness, but the word is "shit". I wonder if this was maybe Soderbergh way of commenting on the film, sending a subliminal message to the audience. By doing so, I doubt he's giving an apology, just confirming his frustration in the material and promising that the next one will be another Contagion, wait a minute, Contagion was actually the next one.

Life Without Principle (2011)

A superior film from a maverick director

[8/10 · 23 August 2012]

Life Without Principle looks like a crime film, plays like a morality tale, and unfolds during one of the most significant events in recent world history. It should come as something of a relief that it is not a violent potboiler, a moralistic sermon, or a political social study. In the hands of respected auteur Johnny To, it is so much more and a completely entertaining jot in filmmaking. Out now on DVD from Vivendi Entertainment after playing a few US film festivals, but failing to receive even a limited North American theatrical release, hopefully this movie will find an enthusiastic audience waiting, it should easily appeal to a large number of viewers with many different interests and open minds.

Set, as it is. with the recent global economical finical meltdown as a back drop. The plot has three different story lines converging as three desperate people's paths cross on the frantic day of the collapse of the Greek government. Taking place in the Kowloon district of Hong Kong, police inspector Cheung (Richie Ren) is investigating the murder of a loan shark, while dealing with a number of personal crises of his own. His wife, Connie (Myolie Wu) is desperate to buy a condo out of their price range, his father is terminally ill, and has left him custody of a young sister, that he never knew existed and who's mother has run off.

A low level, but loyal to a fault triad member named Panther (Lau Ching Wan) tries in vain to get his incarcerated boss, Wah (Siu-Fai Cheung) bailed out of jail, when he comes to the aid of another friend, Lung (Philip Keung) who has made some very dangerous back room deals with triad money.

Last is Teresa (Denise Ho), a bank employee being pressured to meet her quota of new investors and finally pushed to the point of near deception to snare potential investors before a twist of fate makes her future even more uncertain.

The story isn't a preachy one, even though we deal with gamblers, crooks, thieves, swindlers, and other morally ambiguous characters. We get inside their motives, some are greedy, some are honest, some are steadfast, all of them are victims of circumstance, some will win and some will lose. We get a more full understanding of what happens when average people must abandoned their principles too survive.

In the last decade or so producer-director Johnny To, unfairly dismissed at times as being the HK "Jerry Bruckheimer", has developed a strong following with his mostly superb crime thrillers. Titles like the Cannes film festival Palme d'or nominated Vengeance (2009) and Election (2006), with their mixing of elements from American film noir, French new wave, and Hong Kong heroic bloodshed movies. Life Without Principle is somewhat of a departure, it's more in the ambitious style of a Wong Kar Wai film, but many of his themes and stylistic techniques are visible. Also, real hardcore devotes of To's should be aware of his penchant for slipping into other genres at will, including comedies, superhero flicks and dramas, Chow Yun Fat even won a HK Oscar for To's child custody tear jerker All About Ah-long.

Appropriately apathetic camera work and astute editing from Sie-Keung Cheng and David M. Richardson, respectively, two frequent collaborators of To's. They keep the film flowing at a breakneck speed, even when the events sometimes seem rambling or disjointed. These fluid filmmaking techniques also help the movie to over come it's sometimes stodgy opening moments to arrive at a satisfying slow burn of a conclusion.

Life Without Principle is a prime example of the fine film work that is still coming out of Asia, that all too often goes ignored in the western world. Filed with relevant situations and a full understanding of our current global financial situation, not to mention strong amiable characters, even if they are lowlifes. This is the kind of good quality filmmaking that I think a lot of movie goers crave, but can't always find, maybe that's because some of these fine films are being relegated to the backs of the continuously vanishing video store.

The Innkeepers (2011)

Offbeat and quarky with a supernatural bent

[7/10 · 23 August 2012]

A nicely done creep fest that I missed in theaters last February, when it was given a limited theatrical run. The Innkeepers combines elements of a 90's slacker comedy with a haunted house story. Starting out as a character piece and slowly descending into horror. This is a little more thoughtful than a lot of terror flicks, more leisurely paced, but all the richer for it.

Written, directed and edited by Ti West, who previously directed the excellent old school shocker The House of the Devil (2010). This well written and often very funny movie has two twenty-something , the inkeepers of the title, working in an old hotel with minimal guests on the last week before they are closed and subsequently demolished. They are highly susceptible asthmatic Claire (Sara Paxton) and the slightly older Luke (Pat Healy), who have been tracking a ghost who is said to dwell in the hotel, for sometime on their live internet feed. Not much has happened, so far, so Claire decides to help the proceedings along a bit by trying to make contact with the help of a psychic and former TV sitcom star (played by 80's movie star Kelly McGillis) staying at the hotel.

The movie works best when it is focusing on the two amiable main characters and there very humorous interactions. Not so much when the film takes a turn towards horror, but at least it is never graphic enough to completely spoil the feel of the earlier scenes. The ghosts are not well developed, we learn next to nothing about them, which frustrated me a bit. This isn't great, but better than a lot of recent chillers, but I still would have preferred old school indie comedy over the admittedly limited spilled blood.

The Woman in Black (2012)

Hmmer lives in a great little scare fest perfect for the kiddies at Halloween

[8/10 · 23 August 2012]

When the movie starts the first thing that I notice is the logo for the new Hammer film productions. Hammer studios, if you do know, were a British film company that in the 40's and 50's specialized in film noir, science fiction and other modest genre pictures, but there great success and ultimate legacy would be built upon there Gothic horror tales that they made in the late 50's through the mid-70's. Helping to cement the careers of stars such as Christopher Lee, Peter Cushing, Oliver Reed, Herbert Lom, Michael Gough, Hazel Court, Ingrid Pitt, Barbara Shelley, and directors Terence Fisher and Freddie Francis. Like the revived Eailing studios (droll British comedy) and Amicus films (anthology horror movies), the names alone have returned in an attempt to reclaim some of the past glories by using a signature still half heartily remembered by fans of movies of yesteryear, happily Hammer is still leading the way in quality fright films.

The Woman in Black is the most overt return to their Gothic roots, telling a ghost story that lives in the morbid tell tale hearts and fractured minds of misguided youths from days of ole. In other words, this is my terrain, these are the scary stories we are told around camp fires or experience on a Saturday matinée television show, before we would find the more graphic shockers of late night. It's a return to innocence, while letting the goose flesh crawl up on our arms.

Set in the Edwardian era and starring former Harry Potter Daniel Radcliffe, here making a fine transition to more mature roles, and Irish character actor Ciaran Hinds, in parts that could easily have been played by Reed and Cushing a few decades back. Based on Susan Hill's novel, previously filmed for British TV in 1989, with a sequel already in the works. I missed this one in theaters last February, but am grateful that I caught up with it now that it is out on DVD, other than an unnecessary sappy ending, this is good old fashion scary material. Just after seeing the pathetic Apartment 143, here's a scream fest to worm the cockles of my still beating heart.

Thanks to no undue gore or torture here, but there are a few good jolts and a nicely scary atmosphere, plus one of the creepiest, but simple final shots in quiet a long time. This is a nightmare suitable for the whole family, and it's well worth the sleepless night.

The Samaritan (I) (2012)

Old school killing

[7/10 · 23 August 2012]

Here comes something a little unexpected in the dawning weeks of the Summer blockbuster season, it's an old school action-thriller with a film noir soul, the kind of movie in the hard manned style that a few decades earlier could have easily starred screen greats like Lee Marvin or Steve McQueen. Playing just a few screens away from superheroes, aliens, and water logged battleships is this, a movie relying on acting, emotion, thought, empathy and good old fashion butt kicking. However, don't let me sell you a bottle of snake oil, The Samaritan is the kind of movie where the sum of it's parts are better than it is as a whole, but it does offer some juicy cuts.

Samuel L. Jackson, in one of his best roles in ages, stars as Foley, a former grifter just being released from prison after serving a twenty-five year stretch. With no intent of ever going back, however old troubles from his past come looking for him in the form of Ethan (Luke Kirby). Ethan is the son of Foley's former partner, whom Foley killed in circumstances that bear special consideration. Not looking for revenge, exactly, but wanting Foley to join him in a confidence scheme. Foley refuses in hopes of starting his life anew.

Enter Iris (Ruth Negga), a angel with a femme fatale body, who befriends Foley after he comes to her aid as a good Samaritan with a bad attitude. The wounded old dog and his anguished young paladin, a drug addict and sometimes prostitute, find a real kinship and love for each other. However, like all good things in the movies, it wasn't meant to last. Ethan, and his boss, a merciless gangster named Xavier (Tom Wilkinson) pull Foley back into the life, now that they've found leverage that wont allow him to back out.

The story is told pretty straight forward, devoid of the expected convoluted twists and turn. This works both in it's favor and against it's self at the same time, it's refreshing to not be in the realm of the ludicrous, but it does make the proceedings seem fairly obvious, but never stagnant. It's lack of complexity helps to keep it in the style of the genre's triumphs of the distant past, in some ways it reminds me of last years undervalued and little seen Michael Caine old school vigilante flick Harry Brown.

This Canadian made movie is directed by David Weaver, who also co-wrote the screenplay with Elan Mastai, Weaver has mostly worked in Canadian television up to this point, but he shows real promise as a film director, he has a keen eye for detail. The script isn't the greatest, it could have used an infusion of snappy dialogue and the resolution is a little too tidy and forced, still there are a few good tender scenes written in for Foley and Iris, well played by the actors. Good production values, enhanced by fine looking cinematography by Francois Pagenais keep the low budgeted film from ever appearing as such.

The casting is very good, I can't remember the last time that Jackson was this good on screen, he served as one of the executive producers on the film, so his belief in the material is evident. After a few years of forgettable, mostly unseen films, some of them actually going directly to DVD, he know seems to be back on track. Alongside his scene stealing role in The Avengers and a well received turn on Broadway as Martin Luther King, Jr., I hope that this is nothing less than the redemption of Sam Jackson.

Tom Wilkinson, the wonderful British character actor who can also be seen in theaters right now in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel, steals his few, but delightful scenes. He has a real menace, laced with strychnine charm and a hint of Hannibal Lector in his voice. Newcomer Ruth Negga is also very good as Iris, an Irish born actress I learned, but you would never guess it here, her Canadian accent is flawless. I have not seen her before, but she makes an immediate impression. The weakest link in the cast is another new face, Luke Kirby in the pivotal role of Ethan, he's too banal and farcically self confident to ever make the role his own. You can't believe this guy as hoodlum working for Wilkinson's Xavier, he would chew him up and spit him out before the opening titles finished.

So if big bangs and special effects got you down, and your not exactly looking for art house fare, but rather something a little grittier this could be the answer, at least until Savages opens. Fans of old school killing and action stars, will welcome this, as there seems to be few genuine tough guys out there anymore; welcome home, Mr. Jackson.

Total Recall (1990)

The last of the finest

[10/10 · 23 August 2012]

A construction worker who looks like an Austrian bodybuilder, who may or may not be a secret agent. Alien mutants with psychic powers. A marinate cab driver. A dwarf girl with a machine gun. A beautiful buff big haired 80's ball busting Sharon Stone.

Let's travel back to July of 1990 when a new science fiction adventure movie was released that seemed to capture everybody's attention, back when a guy's movie meant a man's movie and you had to wait six months or longer for it to arrive home on VHS or laserdisc. But you won't need a time machine, just a newfangled DVD or Blu-ray player and get your hands on the 1990 version of Total Recall. Starring a never better and still in his prime Arnold Schwarzenegger, who here gives closer to a real performance than anyone was used to. No less than Roger Ebert praised big Arnold for his acting in this one. From Dutch director Paul Verhoeven, who was fresh off the equally great RoboCop and a string of excellent films from his native homeland, Soldier of Orange being the best.

This is what action movies seriously are all about. Featuring an array of then stunning visual effects, now perhaps gloriously out dated. Rubber monsters and miniatures are used courtesy of the legendary Rob Bottin, the kind of stuff some of us have never gotten over. In a gorephically violent over the top manner, that is nothing like what is to be found in the watered down contemporary PG-13 rated action pictures, so extreme in fact that the movie had to be cut to avoid an X-rating.

To say I can't get enough of Total Recall would be an understatement. And I'm not alone, the movie was a huge blockbuster in it's time, now a cult classic, based in part on a short story by Blade Runner author Philip K. Dick. The picture earned critical praise and audience adulation becoming one of the corner stones of the then booming action film.

Today, along with the Terminator movies and Predator, this is one of Schwarzenegger's most recognizable and beloved movies. Set in 2084, and using a totally original look at the familiar genre clichés. It's easy to see why audiences flocked to this, and why so many are still singing it's praises. With exceptionally filmed action scenes, a sly sense of humor, and an unexpected ambiguous ending. This wasn't just a run of the mill action picture, even in it's day.

Not like so many of today's movies that are overflowing with just too much CGI, weak storytelling and dull characters. Why a remake know, after a mere twenty-two years, well I would guess because this never had the opportunity to became a franchise, despite long standing rumors of a sequel, that the producers could milk for future dollars. With no sense of history, many audiences will most likely never see, or even if they did see, be able to enjoy the quaint pleasures of this genre classic. A different kind of beast than they are used too, something more mythical, perhaps.

I don't want to get preachy here, we are all entitled to like what we like, but for many of us the good old days are really over for good, but a classic never goes out of style.

God Bless America (2011)

Ain't nothing a little of the old ultra violence can't solve

[9/10 · 23 August 2012]

"God Bless America", the new comedy from director-writer Bobcat Golthwait, is a blunt in-your-face attack on the modern culture of stupidity, dirty politics, and entertainment aimed at the lowest common denominator. It is a sharply written satire that takes aim at everyone and everything from American Idol to Diablo Cody to Bill O'Reily and the Westboro Baptist Church. It is bound to offend, it is meant to outrage, it should stir up controversy and make the blood boil. Yet, it's message is not in support of violence, it is adamantly anti-violent even in it's own graphically violent way. The movie is nothing more than an angry rant against all "that is wrong with our society": this is perhaps the funniest comment on the dumbing down of our culture since Mike Judge's wonderful and underrated "Idiocracy".

The story involves Frank (Joel Murray), a middle aged divorced father, who finds himself on a losing streak with his daughter, who doesn't want to see him if he doesn't have a present for her, he looses his job for the kind of inappropriate inner office relationship that we snicker at the absurdity of when we hear of it happening in real life. Just when things seem unable to be worse, Frank is told by his rude physician that he has an incurable brain tumor. At the lowest point in his life, he takes out his gun from a shoebox to end it all, but before he can pull the trigger he sees a bratty spoiled rich teenage girl, the star of a TV reality show (a la "My Sweet Sixteen"), throwing a tantrum and rudely defying her equally obnoxious parents. Having seen a living embodiment of the evils of this world, he turns his anger towards her, and she happens to live near by, ever better for Frank she goes to school near by. He meets up with her in the high school parking lot and guns her down, witness to the deed is Roxy (Tara Lynn Barr), a sixteen year-old who thinks that this is the best thing that has ever happened. Roxy tracks down Frank to ask who he plans to kill next, Frank meant it as a one off, but Roxy encourages him to take to the road and find all of those who "deserve to be taking a dirt nap".

Roxy convinces Frank that "justifiable" killing is better than taking his own life: she also hands him a story about living in a trailer with a junkie mother and an abusive stepfather. Frank takes to Roxy as a sort of surrogate father, seeing is her some of the character qualities that maybe his own daughter lacks, refusing any sexual advances that she makes towards him, they are as in his own words "platonic spree killers." Frank has to keep Roxy under control, and offers moral guidance (!) as to whom they may and whom they may not kill; bad people, mean people, not just those who you don't like.

Goldwait,who is partially responsible for large chunks of traumatic repressed childhood memories of mine involving "Police Academy" sequels and a particularly unfunny talking horse movie, has in recent years reinvent himself as a director of keen satire and dark comedies. "God Bless America" is by far his most accomplished directorial effort, even if the picture itself is unable to hold itself together to a satisfying conclusion, Goldthwait's enthusiasm never lets up. With each new film, Goldthwait matures as a filmmaker,Goldthwait has talent as a writer and filmmaker, and is someone to keep your eyes on, his skill with dark, but still humorous subject matter in some ways remind me a bit of Danny DeVito.

Joel Murray, Bill's younger brother, is a revelation as Frank, in his first leading role, he is both funny and endearing, I sincerely hope this leads to additional starring roles, he proves here easily that he has the ability to carry a 100 minute feature film. Also very good is newcomer Tara Lynne Barr, she's a firecracker of afflatus and enthusiasm as Roxy, she is believable, perhaps in an all too uncomfortable kind of way.

"God Bless America" has many memorable scenes, mowing down members of A Westboro Baptism Church-like religious group or the merciless ripping of reality TV like "Jersey Shore" and "American Idol," I guess you can see where my politics stand, but I also like the point the movie tries to make about the hate and anger we get from TV personalities and our acceptance of violent entertainment as rewarding somehow. There is a scene where Frank delivers a vile speech on the subject that I wish I wish I could quote in it's entirety, but that would be exhausting and defeatist. My favorite scene is one that takes place in an art house movie theater, where Frank and Roxy's wrath is turned on some rude and talkative teenage moviegoers. In an interview with Goldthwait, he talked about two fifty-ish men striking up a conversation during this film while it was playing as part of a film festival at the prestigious Alamo Draft house in Austin, Texas; the point Goldthwait took from it, is that it's not just youth who are rude and inconsiderate, there are many "adults" who are every bit as immature.

The hardest part for many viewers, I think will be, the overall theme of the movie, the tone is surely that of a satire. As I have already stated I don't think it is really a message movie, not in the sense that you might think it is, but I suspect that a lot of people are going to take it to believe that this movie advocates the killing of those people you don't agree with. I laughed a lot, maybe agreed a little more than I should, the thing to remember is that like any good rant, once the venting is over you feel better.

Next of Kin (1989)

Hillbilly Heaven

[7/10 · 23 August 2012]

NEXT OF KIN (1989) Back in the 80's action movies where all the rage, remember when everybody was seeing/talking about Die Hard, Predator, Lethal Weapon or the latest Rambo entry. Reenter those wonderful unforgettable days of ole for this piece of underrated southern fried vengeance and mayhem action flick starring mullet hero Patrick Swayze and a then largely unknown Liam Neeson, who sets the groundwork for his future metamorphosis from Oscar nominated actor to 21st century Charles Bronson, here.

Directed by John Irvin, a maverick of the underrated action movie with credits like the Dogs of War and the superior Schwarzenegger vehicle Raw Deal, Swayze stars as Truman Gates, a reformed hillbilly turned windy city cop. When mobsters kill his little brother (Bill Paxton), he finds himself torn between "what he should have done and what has to be done." So enter his estranged older brother, Briar (Neeson), the kind of Appalachian who keeps a severed deer's head in his fridge next to his beer. Briar comes to the big city looking for the men responsible and more than willing to stomp a few creeps to get some answers. Truman, unsuccessfully attempts to keep him on a leash, but soon finds himself drawn into the dark side of vengeance too.

Not nearly as giddy silly as the much loved Swayze starrer cult classic Road House. Still, Next of Kin offers plenty to recommend like an awesome showdown in a cemetery, amiable characters, funny cheesy duologue, and a great role for cult character actor Michael J. Pollard as the proprietor of a flophouse who gets the film's single funniest line ("Hell, no. I'd shoot somebody").

Having never looked better than on the new Blu-ray release with it's 1:85:1 high definition transfer, it easily replaces the poor quality budget pan & scan DVD from years ago. Featuring a stunning cast of actors who would continue to various levels of stardom, not just Neeson and Paxton, but also a never lovelier future Oscar Winner Helen Hunt, Adam Baldwin (Serenity) as the chief heavy, a young Ben Stiller as a mobster flunky and Ted Levine ("Monk") .

Next of Kin is not as well known as many of the other actioners of it's day, but it is one of the best. As expected there are plot holes, inconsistencies and plenty of good old clichés, but it's also a lot of fun and an agreeable time waster. A perfect lazy Sunday afternoon movie.

Apartment 143 (2011)

Footage better left unfound

[20 August 2012]

APARTMENT 143 The primary problem with the found footage genre is that it blatantly violates the first rule of good storytelling, which is show, don't tell. In my opinion I think this genre has run it's course, it jumped the shark a Paranormal Activity or two back for me. And I actually fully enjoyed the first Paranormal Activity as well as the underrated The Last Exorcism, at least until it's cop out ending. I even value The Blair Witch Project, more when it was first released than I do today, but it delivered what it promised, which may not have been much, but it delivered none the less.

The latest crop of this genre, has nothing new to offer, the only interest can possibly be from people who enjoy the tedium of watching people do tedious things. These movies pretty well offer no surprises, one character in this film even states that he had figured out what was going on the moment that they walked through the door, amen. The jolts come from the surprise sprung on the drowsy half asleep viewer who has an hour in come to except that nothing will happen. I have even fallen pray to that.

So is this some deep rooted grudge that I hold against the whole genre that has me lambasting the new flick Apartment 143: not at all. This is a particularly bad example of an all ready dwindling genre that year after year continues to deliver ever further diminishing returns. Apartment 143 is the lamest, worst written and poorest acted that the genre has had to offer, yet.

The story has three paranormal investigators, or more accurately as the syfy channel calls them, "ghost hunters" setting up cameras to help the White family find out who keeps ding dong ditching their front door. There are, of course, other signs of a ghostly haunting, the usual flickering lights, creaky sounds, prank phone calls, etc.

The Whites it seems have suffered a lot lately, other than receiving disturbing phone calls from beyond, they have suffered a family tragedy. The mother of the family died in a car wreck, this leaves dad (Kai Lennox) distraught and guilt ridden, hot teenage daughter Catlin (Gina Mantegna) obnoxious and rebellious, and little Benny (Damian Roman) sad and talking to the ghosts that only he can see; sorry audience, guess we're just left out again.

We get to watch father-daughter squabbles, with them and others spouting dialog that is way too stiff to be spoken by real people. Then something happens, nothing special, but it happened. Finally some pervasive scares scenes, usually punctuated by a shaky camera movement, so that we can't really see anything, but know for sure that it is scary. This all goes on for an excruciating eighty minutes, but you will swear it was much longer. Oh, and the last shot is a total rip-off of the ending to the original Paranormal Activity.

Found footage films try to follow in the noble foot steps of the great Val Lewton tradition by being about atmosphere and implication, well they can hope in one hand, and I will let you finish the metaphor. The only scares I get is when I realize that this is not the last of the genre, probably not even the worst: there is said to be a Christian themed film on the way about the horrors of finding some old VHS porno tapes, shriek. Well I guess there is an audience for it, at least we are past the torture porn cycle, but can someone please get back to making decent interesting horror films.

I have to revise my comments about there being an audience for this sort of film because while in theaters this picture had a total gross $256. For once I am let down by underestimating the intelligence of the movie going public.