sissyneck23 Reviews

3 Body Problem (2024– )

Lots of promise, lots of problems

[3/10 · 1 April 2024]

This started so well, but sadly it's one of those series where the trailer is better than the actual show. The first couple of episodes really set the scene, and I was hooked, really wanted to see more. BUT after about 3 episodes it's just flatlined. It's like they spent all their budget on the entire thing early on. Honestly so very disappointed with this one, more than half of it mind numbing, it was like "hey there's going to be an alien invasion but we ran out of budget so let's change the script so it happens 400 years later, by which time Netflix might actually finance this project properly". Don't bother, you'll be disappointed.

Rawhead Rex (1986)

Nostalgic horror

[10/10 · 6 March 2024]

I first saw this around 1987/88 back when you could hire films on vhs when I was probably 13! (Nice lady in the video shop used to allow me to rent 15 and 18 certs). So nearly 40 years on I watched it again! It's lost none of its low budget charm! Some of the acting is a bit hammy, the special effects are definitely of its time, but the story is great, as you'd expect from Clive Barkers Books of Blood. The psychotic verger is a scene stealer! The caravan site carnage! The plastic hand! The stained glass window! Graveyard watersports! Oh and all set in beautiful Ireland. Oh they don't make movies like this anymore,

Miss Americana (2020)

Surprising and epic

[8/10 · 2 March 2024]

Let me preface this by saying I was never a fan, didn't really pay any attention to her, didn't rate her music, didn't get the obsession with her - mostly because I'm 50 and my generations pop queen was Madonna. Not that I disliked her but it was just that she really was not on my radar. So I thought, let's see what all the fuss is about. I have to say I thought this was a real eye opener and I have so much respect for her after watching this. So much I didn't know - the whole Kanye West thing (what an absolute t**T he is), to the sexual assault, which was shocking and heartbreaking to hear about. I don't think I'll ever be a huge fan of her music, but I am definitely a proud swiftie now. She's amazing.

Total Recall (I) (2012)

Pretty good

[7/10 · 8 February 2024]

Anything with Colin Farrell instantly gets a 7 out of ten. Shallowness aside I really like this, it's a different film to the original so if you're expecting a complete copy you'll be disappointed. Nice effects, cinematography is great, BUT my only negative comment is that there is overuse of lens flare. It's very distracting! I suppose Hollywood at the time was fawning over JJ Abrams and his supposed invention of cinematic lens flare (for the record director Chris Cunningham did it decades before JJ - and Chris did it much better). Nice nods every now and then to the Arnie classic - I won't spoil it by letting you know what they are. All in all I think it's one of the better science fiction remakes in the last 20 years.

Saltburn (2023)

Good but predictable

[3/10 · 21 January 2024]

I guessed what was going to happen within twenty minutes, nonetheless I watched it right through. I've seen this sort of thing before so although it's not an original idea, there are some really decent performances. BUT it's filled with tacky cliches and it's very contrived. Now, the infamous bathtub scene... I'd heard about it, it's made news headlines, so I was expecting something quite visceral, sordid, filthy... but honestly I don't know why they bothered, it was so tame. Would've been bolder to see him scoop his jizz out of the water and drink that, or down the contents of a used prophylactic. Now that would've had tongues wagging, pun intended. And there's a few other 'shocking' moments that were just stupid and thrown in for shock value rather than actually being essential to the plot (the menstrual muff diving, the bathtub, the naked dance to Murder on the Dancefloor). Truly contrived, awful, and cliched. The whole poor white trash, but smarter than smart northerner was a rip of something else. The upper class super rich more money than sense was so contrived and reinforced negative stereotypes rather than sending them up (which I suspect was the attempt) and it was just lazy.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985)

My favourite Elm St movie

[10/10 · 3 January 2024]

I absolutely hand on heart love this movie. I was quite young when I saw the first movie back in the 80s, and couldn't wait for part 2. It didn't disappoint- this is such a dark story, there's something so creepy and scary about this one. Freddy's make up is so much scarier, the haunting score by the amazing Christopher Young, the amazing Mark Patton as Jessie. I know it has a reputation now as the least favourite of the Elm Street films amongst fans, but feck em - I love it and always have. Mark Patton - so cute, so sexy. I think it's shameful that his career was destroyed over this in the wake of the AIDS pandemic, as I think it's an absolute gem of a movie, and I would love to have seen Mark in so much more.

Terrifier (2016)

Gross

[1/10 · 2 November 2023]

Not a pleasant watch at all. Quite a sick movie, deeply depraved. As much as I am for all out liberalism and freedom of expression, this was just extremely disturbing. This sort of movie should be banned, it's beyond violent, misogynistic, and disgusting. I love a good horror film, and this could've been a good horror film, it really did not need the level of gore and violence that was shown. I don't think I'll sleep very well after this one, it really has made me want to vomit. Mind you, anyone reading this will probably reach for the remote and press play. Where do film makers draw the line?

In from the Side (2022)

It looked good, but...

[4/10 · 22 July 2023]

Cinematography was pretty good, the idea was pretty good, but it was just a bit meh!

I think what it lacked was character development, I just didn't care enough about any of them. And there could've been plenty chemistry and better intimacy but it just was too safe and polite. This was a Mills and Boon rugby love story I'm afraid. Dialogue was awkward, like a GCSE drama class - people don't really talk to each other like that. The two Alex's did a pretty decent job. BUT I would for once like to see a love story between two men that didn't involve handsome bearded good looking fit men. You think us ugly blokes don't have stories to tell? You think us less than average but not entirely minging types don't have an active sex life? Bet your sweet ass we do! Worth a watch but only if you have the time.

Run Fatboy Run (2007)

Warped...

[5/10 · 28 April 2023]

Moderately funny. Falls into the same category as Sliding Doors, Notting Hill, About A Boy... ie potentially good British film ruined by American studios which seem to be obsessed with London being a quaint place to live where everyone speaks so incredibly posh, lives in a well off area, and ticks the diversity box with a sassy shoplifting trannie (tick!), feckless Irish guy (tick!) and token asian landlord (tick!). I'd love to know where these huge period apartments are that the working class of London live in. Simon Pegg - brilliant as ever however. Shame it's such a terrible tedious movie. Run, Ever-so-slight-paunch Boy, Run...

The Tomorrow War (2021)

Awful, predictable, cliched

[2/10 · 10 April 2023]

My sister raved about this one so I thought I'd give it a whirl, excitedly telling me this was like no other apocalypse movie. Was expecting something along the lines of Skyline or the brilliant short film Rakka but it was more like a rehash of Battle LA. Just did nothing for me, it was boring, predictable, cliched, typical Hollywood fodder. I should've guessed by the terrible score that this was going to be 'that type of movie' ie America saves the day, just like the president does in Independence Day or the Americans pledge to do in The Day After Tomorrow. If you really want a good end of the world movie, I suggest The Divide (2011) or Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (2012) or Don't Look Up (2021).

That's My Jam (2022– )

Diabolical

[1/10 · 7 January 2023]

Seriously bad, possibly one of the worst pieces of television. The BBC really has reached new lows with this one. In fact it's so bad, it makes ITV look good. Just stop, please take this off the air right now!!! I'm struggling to find 600 characters to write this review... bad, sad, crap, useless, mind numbingly stupid, irritating, annoying, and this was just after one episode. These young folk have no personality, no intelligence, no charisma, uniqueness, nerve or talent. I was gobsmacked on tonight's episode to see Salt N Pepper being dragged into it too. Oh and the theme tune is terrible. DOA. OVER.

Hellraiser (2022)

We have such sights to show you.

[10/10 · 6 November 2022]

I really enjoyed this, one of the more unusual and unique horror films I've seen in a while, even though it's a reimagining of a film I love, it felt very fresh. There are some minor niggles and plot holes and some of the characters are a bit lame (Joey - really?!) but the story is pretty good, and clever and respectful of the original. I loved the new Cenobites in particular Jamie Clayton as the priest - she was terrific and creepy and her portrayal was much closer to the character in the original book. The production is great, clearly a decent budget. Ignore the negative reviews, it's a damn good film and one I will watch again and again.

Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

A Kids movie

[3/10 · 17 August 2022]

Ok so Ghostbusters (1984) was never really a kids movie, let's just get that clear, most of us old enough to remember watching it as a kid probably did so because of VHS. So with that in mind, this sequel is not in the same genre - it's a kids movie - children as central characters unlike the 1984 movie. So on that level it's a good movie. But for the nostalgia seeking adult like me, you have to sit through a long slow paced, snooze fest to get to the good bit, which only happens in the final 15 minutes, and even then it's pretty much a low budget repeat of the finale we love and know so well from the original. Bit of a shame really because I loved seeing the original cast together again, it was the dream! Shame it felt like an afterthought.

Hellraiser III: Hell on Earth (1992)

Awful

[2/10 · 14 July 2022]

A terrible movie, lots of plot holes and some of the most diabolical acting I've ever seen. Unfortunately this is what happens when "Hollywood" get their hands on a British franchise. Only worth watching for the handsome Kevin Bernhardt. And of course the beautiful Paula Marshall who along with Doug Bradley, put in decent performances amongst a sea of amateurs.

Fright Night Part 2 (1988)

It's a scream!

[10/10 · 26 May 2022]

This is bloody good fun! Very underrated sequel to the brilliant Fright Night. This had a limited cinema release in the UK (plus I was not old enough to see it) so I had to wait for the vhs to be released to see it. Great performances, great script, some brilliant new vampires too. More than a sequel it's a scream!

Halloween Kills (2021)

Pretty decent

[8/10 · 23 May 2022]

I really liked this, harks back to the classic Halloween and gives a good few jumps and scares. The occasional stupid scene, and a rewrite of the time between the original Halloween and Halloween 2 which was unnecessary. Nice nods to Halloween 3 too. As with any modern film that tries to recreate the past, it's clear the stylists know nothing about 1970s hair, fashion or behaviour. YOU REALLY NEED TO CONSULT WITH PEOPLE OLD ENOUGH TO REMEMBER!!! We did not have 1980s hair in 1978. Children were not sarcastic to cops. Authenticity is needed for those scenes, a little more hard work on that and you have the perfect Halloween movie.

Swept Away (2002)

Not as bad as I remember

[5/10 · 21 May 2022]

Watched this again recently (it's now 2022 so 20 years since I last saw it). It's not terrible, there are some good bits and some awful cringe-worthy bits. Madonna - not a consistent performance. You'd think she'd be good at playing a b-ch but she's not that convincing, shockingly. However she is much better later in the movie when she plays to her strength... vulnerability. What let's this down is a poor script and awkward direction.

Madonna: Ciao, Italia! - Live from Italy (1987 Video)

Great memories of this tour

[8/10 · 19 May 2022]

Brilliant tour - she actually sings live lol!

This version Ciao Italia is not exactly filmed in Italy - it's an edit of the Japan concert and her final shows in Italy.

Vocally a bit weaker on this recording. The Tokyo video is much better, watch that instead. She's always better and fresher at the start of her tours.

Madonna: Blond Ambition World Tour Live (1990 TV Special)

At her very peak!

[10/10 · 19 May 2022]

I was 15 when I saw this tour at Wembley stadium, she was epic in every way, 1990 was the year of Madonna. This show in Nice is brilliant, typifies Madonna at her peak. I must have watched this hundreds of times!

Madonna: The MDNA Tour (2013 TV Special)

Good show, terrible editing

[4/10 · 19 May 2022]

Like most of Madonna'a live tour movies, she seems to be repeating the same mistakes with the final edit. Overuse of slow motion, frenetic editing where there is barely a single shot that lasts more than 2 seconds, too much overlaying of backdrop footage, and (with this one in particular) canned audience roars. The second half is better than the first, but it's largely a difficult watch. Nothing to do with Madonna or her performance - just a bunch of inept film makers. Disappointing...

Old (2021)

Diabolical

[1/10 · 23 March 2022]

Has to be seen to be believed - quite possibly the worst film I've ever seen. I've never heard dialogue like it, a truly awful script, and the most wooden acting I've ever seen. Painfully bad and laughable but doesn't quite earn the moniker of 'so bad it's good'. I aged ten years watching it. Anyone rating this film as good and questioning "the bad reviews" doesn't have a brain cell in their heads.

Madame X (2021)

Ruined by extreme editing

[2/10 · 15 January 2022]

Let me preface this by saying I'm a huge Madonna fan, been to every tour since 1990. I missed Madame X because the ticket prices were too expensive. On one level, the show looks great, she sounds great when the autotune is not used (she doesn't need it, her voice is great). The Fado section is the best part, those sounds from the album Madame X really "Come Alive" in that part of the show, and she's brilliant, captivating, fun, and sexy. HOWEVER... the production of this movie is full of flaws. The editing is so frenetic that barely a second passes without it jumping from one rush to the next - it's all over the place. Too many overlays of the backdrop projections and slow motion scenes. It is so frustrating to watch, it gives you a headache. It's very obvious at one point that one of the songs was a reshoot without the audience and without hair and makeup continuity (she's at a piano, don't remember the song). It ruins the effect of the overall movie as the shots are completely different to the overall look of the film. It was the same with the MDNA and Rebel Heart concert movies... way too much time spent editing them and ultimately the film suffers because of it. Could've been a great movie, but I suspect control freak Madame X was micro managing the post production.

Grace and Frankie (2015–2022)

Best show on Netflix

[10/10 · 16 August 2021]

I love this show so much, it's been a joy to watch and rewatch and rewatch and rewatch! IMHO the best show on Netflix. I love that there is a show about older people that's not all about retirement and ageing, it's empowering and about relationships, especially with women. The final season's production values seem to have dropped off, cinematography just doesn't seem as good for some reason, maybe a budget cut or pandemic has affected it, IDK. Other than that it's amazing.

Midsommar (2019)

Visceral, disturbing, brilliant.

[10/10 · 16 July 2021]

I watch a lot of movies and most of the time I forget what I've seen, can't remember what it's about, actually forget I've seen it, or I'm dying for it to finish. But with Midsommar, one viewing and it's imprinted in my memory in great detail. Now that to me is testament to what a great movie this is. It's shocking, disturbing, and absolutely beautifully filmed. The score is perfect it kind of delights and terrifies. Can't fault this exquisitely detailed and impactful movie. Cannot wait to see what Ari does next, I'm dying for it.

Boogeyman (2005)

Wasted opportunity

[2/10 · 7 June 2021]

Good idea, badly executed. Sorry... APPALLINGLY executed. It pretty much stinks, saved only by good lighting and cinematography. Not much else is good, fails in all the important elements of a good film, script is shockingly bad, characters are not likeable so there's zero empathy or interest. A shame really as Barry Watson and Emily Deschanel turn out decent performances in a movie that sucks.