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lauradt
Reviews
The Predator (2018)
Forced myself to finish this one
I've been working through the Predator movies for the first time - so far, so good, I might watch AvP later (I have seen snippets of those movies before, so I already know they're rubbish!).
Then along comes The Predator.
The thing is, is that I will watch and enjoy all kinds of movies that other people find terrible. I'm generally pretty easy to please - I just want some entertainment and escapism. But I just can't give this one a pass. I cannot fathom what the creators of this were thinking. My thoughts might be a bit scattered, but bear with me...
It completely lacks tension - every other Predator movie (including Prey) has had many or at least a few creepy hold-your-breath or exciting sit-up-straighter moments. This one has an out of place superhero score, too many plot points and too many jokes.
I think they try to answer questions people might have had but they're actually kind of retconning previous Predator movies. For example, why does there need to be a reason for spines to be taken? It was a terrifying thought to have your spine ripped out along with your head so some alien can stick you in his trophy room or wear you on his belt! To me, that is way more effective then knowing that they're actually trying to take DNA so they can evolve (or something?). Predators seem to be very technologically advanced - why don't they make more sweet weaponry and armour?
This movie is completely different in tone to any of its predecessors. In my opinion, this is why it doesn't feel linked at all.
The Predators kill a whole bunch of people but do I care about any of them? (Psst...the answer is no!) Look at Predator 2, based in a city with heaps of characters and kills. It still felt like a small group of central characters facing off against this great foe. The Predator, meanwhile, doesn't even have a cohesive villain. There's a Predator who kills plenty of people but actually, just wait, he was here to help! Then he is killed by the new, enhanced Predator and now that's our villain! He's so big, he's so vicious, oh no!
Speaking of mega Predator (or whatever his name is), he's the least scary of any Predator. He isn't menacing - partly because all of his fights are shot poorly and also he just seems like a watered down version of every one that came before him. There's a jungle scene where he is 'clicking' and we get a shot of every character that's there and still alive. I get what they're going for, but it reminded me of watching an awards show. "And the nominees for next victim are..."
The violent deaths are unrealistic, but that's a problem I have with all CGI blood. A bit off topic, but it moves too fast, right?
Autism being "the next step in the evolutionary chain"... enough said.
The last scene almost made me cry with cringe. My face is still scrunched up. Please, please tell me this is not canon.
Ultimately, this entire movie felt like it was made by and for thirteen year old boys.
Moonshot (2022)
Here for Terraforming Mars
I thought this would be a cute movie. It kind of was, kind of wasn't. There's absolutely nothing new here and after a little while you'll be able to guess exactly how it will end (heck you can probably guess that without even watching any!).
I have pretty low standards for movies - I'll watch any old rubbish and usually be entertained - but I did find Moonshot a bit lacklustre. It seemed like a missed opportunity.
But the reason I had to leave a review is for the travesty that is the misrepresentation of Terraforming Mars (the board game played towards the end of the movie). It's not like it's even my favourite board game or anything but I was so disturbed by the way they made it look like a ruddy game of monopoly. Rolling Dice? Cheering?? Pieces placed illegally on the board??? Oh, mercy!
Listen, if you like board games in general and haven't discovered the modern board game hobby yet, I invite you to find a local game store or check out Board Game Geek. There is so much out there. You will be amazed at the amount of choices and strategy a modern board game can offer - no more rolling to move (usually) or family members fleecing you of all your money just coz you were unlucky enough to land on their property during a gruelling three hour game of Monopoly.
You can even cheer during a game of Terraforming Mars if you want - just make sure you're at least attempting to play it as intended first!
Along for the Ride (2022)
Pretty good adaptation
I was a big Sarah Dessen fan in my youth and Along for the Ride was probably the most memorable of her novels for me. I reread it in the weeks leading up to the movie coming out and still really enjoyed it.
The adaptation is pretty close - obviously things need to be condensed or moved around for the screen - but I think it basically captured the novels essence.
I guess my biggest gripe with the movie is that the insomnia thing is kind of downplayed. Auden is certainly seen out and about at night time a lot, then at the halfway mark or so she talks about it a bit, but I just felt like it wasn't clear enough that it was a huge part of her routine even before staying with her dad. Considering it's the kind of 'hook' of the novel, I thought it could have been more prominent in the movie.
Ultimately I enjoyed this movie and will watch it again in the future. The music was great and the overall vibe is one I generally enjoy.
The Ice Road (2021)
No expectations equal a good time
It can be hard to find a movie for my family to watch - we're all adults with different tastes - but Liam Neeson is usually a safe bet.
I went into this with zero expectations and actually had a great time with it. Sure, there are some cheesy bits here and there, but I also felt the tension coming through at times and I can honestly say I was never bored.
I likely wouldn't always rate this an 8 - I'd need to be in the right mood - but tonight I really enjoyed it. For some reason, I get a weird feeling that it might become a bit of a comfort watch for me.
Good for Neeson fans.