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matthewcrammond
Reviews
Game of Thrones: The Iron Throne (2019)
D&D career in fantasy themed music video directing,
This episode wasn't totally pointless.
It Looked and sounded great (as always) but that's about it. That's assuming you're not paying attention to what anyone is saying or doing.
D&D could stop with stuff like this and maybe do music videos. Just maybe for songs with no real sense to the lyrics (just in case the mess that up too)....
Anyway. Let's begin...
Nearly a decade building up the plot line and we end with Jon going to live in the woods and every character people like - basically being put into the perfect role (and surviving obviously).
D&D and HBO took 2 years to give the finale the show should have deserved. I'm not a fanatic GOT nerd but I loved the show. And I loved it because it was filled with intelligent, unpredictable writing, amazing character development and set in a fantasy world that seemed to unify the real world: whether you're a fantasy geek or not.
Everyone seemed to live GOT. It was a talking point for hundreds of millions of people across the world. The build up to the finale was second to none..
The ad campaigns of all possible contenders on the throne: pointless
The night king/white walker arc that had been present since S1EP1: just a gimmick all along. No real substance.
Brans real link to him and that plot line: who even cares anymore.
I'm fact, we could all sit here and type out every characters development from A to Z and this final season will have ruined each of them in same way. Whether it was characters that made it that far or the memory of ones that didn't. Everyone and everything seemed to get sh*t on. Including the fans.
Also worth noting:
I genuinely feel terrible for the actors, cinematographers, sound team, costume and SFX crews - in fact everyone baring the writing/direction team.
That's their life's work. Many of them grew up as that character. It was no doubt the thing all of them would have been remembered for forever in the best way possible. What's their legacy now?
The public is harsh, but rightly or wrongly - when it comes to 'stories' - which is all of a sudden the most important thing according to Tyrion (forget blood lines or 8 seasons of build up - a 20 second speech about basically nonsense trumps all that) - anyway a story is only as good as it's last chapter.
The story of game of thrones will be remembered for this final Season. Which is just sad.
The way it tied up all the previous seasons aha also left them tarnished. Because... how can anyone watch them in the same way now? Knowing how it all turned out?
The beauty of it all was the feeling that it was all building to something incredible. MOMENTOUS.
But it never did. So the legacy of the entirety of GOT is now in danger of being ruined. In my opinion it already is.
Just quickly: Jons lineage and entire character development for 8 seasons. Pointless? Not even mentioned? Just sent to the wall? Becomes a wildling?
Ok I get the poetry - he's a true Northman and is now free etc. But that's so sh*t. The entire build up of us all discovering who he really was. It was pointless.
' Aegon Targaryen - the true heir to the iron throne': Now lives in the woods with tormund.
Bran ('the broken' apparently): inexplicably the new king. Even though he isn't even 'bran anymore ... not really'
Also worth noting - 'why do you think I came all this way (or whatever bulls*it he says) ... fundamentally saying he knew that's how it ended. Does that making him the biggest c*%t in TV history or is that just me?
Daenerys went bonkers. Too fast and rushed but fine, I get it. We all get it. But did her character deserve 1.8 minutes of screen time and a death that was more mouses squeak than dragons raw. It was so weak. Her character (and her relationship with Jon) merited something better than that.
Don't even get ya all started on driving burning the iron throne as a symbol for ... I dunno something I guess.
Arya is like what...a pirate now? So so so rubbish. But whatever. I hated that she killed the night king anyway as it meant the other plotlines were pointless. So she can sod off wherever she likes.
Brienne writing in the kingsguard book like it was a diary entry about someone who dumped her but she still liked was cool (it wasn't).
The kings council meeting at the end was just embarrassing (is it even worth talking about how gay the book thing was?... probably not).
Sansa being 'queen in the north' I also get. But weird that not a single other house was happy to be ruled after seeing how easily bran agreed to sortherm independence (for his sister no less).
It was so so neat and tidy. But not in a good way. Sam as arch maester (where the F is gilly btw...). Bronn getting his f'ing castke (seriously no fan cared about that for like 3 seasons)... Tyrion we all love, but...
He was rewarded as hand of the king. Jon, a hero of so many wars, and the man who just stabbed the love of his life through the heart to save millions more from the fortunes of kings landing?
Off to the wall mate.
Anyone fancy arguing a bit more for him? Maybe mentioning his story a bit? Bran? No? No one?... honestly... no one? Ok cool.
p.s.
Kick ass montage guys (said no one ever).
Bodyguard: Episode #1.6 (2018)
Well......
That went from gritty to gash pretty fast.
5 episodes of one of the most genuinely gripping and unpredictable shows that the BBC have churned out for a while.
Then they seem to have hired a group of 12 year olds to tie off all the loose ends. It was JUST about better than him waking up and it all being a dream.
Never thought I'd be sitting there praying for a car bomb to go off. That's the worst bit. It's made me someone I don't like anymore.
Cheers
Everything, Everything (2017)
What the actual fu*k
Am twenty minutes into watching this with my girlfriend. I'm honestly feeling like she's going to break up with me straight after it ends, as she must really hate me to put me through this.
1: why is 1 second outside enough to kill her, but multiple people strut in and out all day every day. (oh my god! I forgot the went through TWO doors, that should obliterate every tiny piece of micro bacteria known to man... and I guess they change or take off their shoes. Maybe only towels carry bacteria?)
2. Why is she often wearing shoes. Not being funny, but that's just weird if you're never allowed outside. Weirder than wheel chair people wearing them probably.
3. Why are they so into each other? He bought a cake round then wrote his number on the window and now they're in love? Hopefully he is a murderer. She deserves to die of she's that stupid.
4. He has a mullet
5. The Alice in wonderland review but made me want to be sick.
6. 'Who does an online architecture modelling course'
7. She's not like an astronaut, she's like someone with HIV if anything.
8. 'Olly' has said 'thinking is overrated twice now already and I'm less than half way through. Maybe they're trying to implant that into the viewers head in the hope they'll like the film.
9. Putting pictures of places she can't go on the window is a dick move.
10. I literally spent this long writing this to avoid watching the film properly.
11. She has 100 sterilised plain white t shirts. Don't think I've seen her wear anything other than unflattering crop tops from forever 21.
12. Please let the plane crash.
13. Ffs.
14. How does a 16 year old boy with a violent dad and one set of clothes fly her to Hawaii? Maybe she sells her models and he sold his mums cakes that she seems to make Non stop.
15. And an apartment in the beach that most stock brokers couldnt afford for their honeymoon.
16. I give up.
17. Worst swim suit ever.