wholelottalove-93562 Reviews

Salem's Lot (2004)

Mediocre Acting and Poor Adaptation Choices

[3/10 · 27 June 2023]

What can you really say about this movie. I think they nailed the small town atmosphere. The sets, especially Hubies decrepit house, were great. Rob Lowe is Rob Lowe hunting vampires. Young Mark's actor stands out, it's a shame they didn't give him more lines and screen time. The scary bits aren't quite scary, and I found myself more invested in the shoe horned side stories than the main one.

The real reason to strongly dislike this movie is the character assassination of Father Callahan. If you're a Stephen King fan, you know Salem's Lot is not the last we see of the Father. He has a bigger role to play, and his crisis of faith after the encounter with Barlow sets him on that path. In this version, he becomes a servant of Barlow instead, murdering other characters on his behalf. What a disrespectful way to portray one of my favorite King characters. The casting itself was fantastic, and James Cromwell is very talented, probably giving the best performance of the cast, but this adaptation developed him so poorly that he had very little to work with. A drunk catholic priest who feels like a failure and is branded so he can't reenter the only place he felt at home is so much more compelling than a priest who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and became something new entirely. There was no reason why Mark and Ben had to hunt him down as the foil for telling the story, it added nothing narratively. The story could've been presented just fine on its own with the time jump conclusion like it was written.

I'm no stranger to book adaptations being poorly represented on screen, and especially King's stories, but good God, throw this one in the fire pit with Pet Semetary's most recent adaptation and at least it will provide warmth since it couldn't provide entertainment. Such a shame because those are two of my favorite King books!

Super Dark Times (2017)

Great performances, not so great end.

[7/10 · 27 September 2022]

It's always impressive to see a young actor really shine, and the two best friends this movie centers around certainly deliver in their performances. Unfortunately, the ending leaves me wanting...more? Not necessarily, I don't have a problem with open ended stories, but the ending scene being about a character I didn't really connect with or care for was an odd choice. Maybe on a re-watch I'll catch some nuance that steers me in the direction of revelation with the ending scene...but is it really worth watching again? It certainly does capture the precell phone nineties teen vibes well, and there's a the surreal feeling of a town where we never see anyone else except the teens. It certainly speaks for the tunnel vision you have at the age.

I wish the set dressers would decorate my house for Christmas.

Worth watching overall.

Mind Over Murder (2022)

A True Crime Triumph

[10/10 · 30 July 2022]

This is one of the few series that I feel really used the length to build an emotional story for the audience too. The ending episode had a feeling a catharsis for me as well. You'll see some complaints about the length, but it's necessary to look at this from all angles. The individuals testimony were heartfelt.

Burt Searcy is an asshole though, and the guy in the play did him perfect. Looking at his phone because that's easier than facing the pain he caused these people just because they were "undesirables." He wants to talk about how this is hurtful to Helen's family, this is just capitalizing on their pain, but who's the one who inserted himself into this and whined about his legacy to the cameras? He didn't "solve" this case because he's a kind person, he did it because he wanted to live forever through it and erase his cloud that came with leaving the Beatrice PD. A very repulsive man.

The Bob's Burgers Movie (2022)

Adorable

[9/10 · 15 July 2022]

I absolutely love the show and the movie was an elevated version of that. Very cute songs that had the "Bad Stuff Happens in the Bathroom" magic. It was a movie about being brave but it different ways for all of them that really was about being yourself. Little Louise and her ears, Bob and hope, Linda and the weight of always being the strength. It's the best animated marriage, it's the best animated family, and it's the best it's ever looked, what isn't there to love???

Tenacious D in the Pick of Destiny (2006)

Timeless

[10/10 · 3 July 2022]

A work of art. A surreal rock opera. A tribute to rock's impact on pop culture. Or maybe I'm just really stoned.

These guys are really talented when it comes to music. The movie is kind of like watching one long music video.

Vivarium (2019)

A good casual watch

[7/10 · 23 June 2022]

I'm not going to say this movie is groundbreaking, but it held my attention. It did a good job of building an anxious feeling, it was direct with its meaning, the acting was good, the child genuinely creeped me out. The negative reviews seem to be hating on how "obvious" the movie was, but then I see people negatively reviewing things for being too abstract? I think it's a perfectly fine creepy movie for casual viewing.

Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness (2022)

Raimi's Marvel Horror Masterpiece

[10/10 · 6 May 2022]

I don't know what people expected from this movie, I've read such dumb criticisms. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Wong and Strange have always had a great dynamic, they have great dialog.

Wanda is both the villian and hero in this story. It's not "the same story as Wandavision." Elizabeth Olsen shines in every scene, I absolutely adored her portrayal, and felt the emotion in every one of her scenes.

It's a story of love, loss, growth, and hope.

It's shorter than most Marvel movies, but I thought it was a good thing. Kept the story moving.

Some great cameos and teases of future characters.

Raimi obviously was having a lot of fun. Plenty of rolling camera shots and visually fun like. I thought the CGI was the best I've seen in marvel so far, not clunky and hard to follow.

Under the Silver Lake (2018)

Sticks With You

[9/10 · 2 April 2022]

I don't even know where to begin. Andrew Garfield's performance was simultaneously endearing and disgusting. The mood and tone shifts were jarring at the right times but sometimes so gradual you just drifted into the next scene with him. I really love how it seems like this movie shares the breakup theme with Midsommar. Sam is just desperate for something to take his mind off the dark truths of his personal life, and accidentally discovers a conspiracy. The relief he felt after saying goodbye gave him the clarity he needed to propel him into the next stage of his life.

The Dark Pictures: House of Ashes (2021 Video Game)

Ashley should sue.

[6/10 · 23 October 2021]

What is it with this company making their women characters look sooooo bad. Man of Medan women looked weird, Until Dawn women looked OK but not great, I don't really remember any younger women in Little Hope, and then they come in with this chinless wonder.

Why do they make them so toothy but simultaneously chinless and cheek boneless. The poor representation takes me out of the game. It's one thing to just voice a character, but their whole thing is making the characters look like the actor.

The game itself is an improvement on past games somewhat. The camera is wayyyy too tight in some scenes and difficult to control. The characters are kind of unlikable per the usual. But I swear, their animation team or whoever needs to figure out how to do women. It wouldn't bother me so much if the men didn't look normal and fine.

Midnight Mass (2021)

Humans are the monsters.

[7/10 · 6 October 2021]

This made me relive all those long Sunday mornings spent at mass, they really nailed the catholic bit. I liked the atmosphere and all the actors were great. There were some interesting bits hidden in the monologues, but my god, there were just too many of them. The final feeding scene was disturbing and the ending was satisfactory. All in all, a good weekend binge.

American Horror Story: Blood Bath (2014) Season 4, Episode 8

Jessica Lange strikes again.

[9/10 · 27 August 2021]

I just wanted to come somewhere to compliment her brilliant performance this episode. Her gutteral, genuine reaction to Ma Petite compared to her so so performance over Ethel is such a display of skill on Lange's part. It's wonderful that Ethel complimented Elsa's genuine reaction as a performance but missed her actual mediocre performance over her. I'm always really impressed by actors who can nail the bad actor thing too, I feel like that has to be a real challenge.

Evan's reading of Dickenson also gets an honorable mention, I feel like he's grown quite a bit throughout the seasons and Jimmy may be my favorite version of him so far.

Black Widow (2021)

People didn't understand who the real villian is.

[10/10 · 10 July 2021]

First of all, these reviews stink of misogyny.

Scarlett killed. Pugh killed. Harbour was precious. Weisz' deadpan was hilarious. The fight scenes were brutal but trackable unlike the over CGI-d fights we've seen in the past. They should've made this movie ten years ago, but the audience is now invested in Nat, which is what Captain Marvels movie was missing.

Taskmaster isn't the villian. Dreykov is the villian for God's sake. He's the one who took their free will, controlled the widows, he's on the one trying to control the world. Taskmaster is first Nats victim and now his. Everyone's arc is this movie is about redemption and recovery. They white washed THANOS and you all are pressed about Taskmaster...its exhausting. Stories are constantly changing in the Marvel Universe, why can't they change for the big screen too.

This was one of the best Marvel movies. It's outside the usual realm, violent and dark like Nat's past, but with the sweet underlying message of choosing your family, choosing your own path.

If you didn't enjoy this movie, it's because you chose not to enjoy it, and no one can help you with that.

The Stand (2020–2021)

Not a bad series for a non fan.

[6/10 · 26 June 2021]

Objectively, the series works fine as some mediocre apocalypse entertainment, a good weekend binge. I will not let my overall rating be influenced by my love of source material.

However, if you're looking for something more, you would be better off watching the original series or reading the novel before enduring this.

King's strength is the believability of his characters. He creates excellent and relatable narrators in all of his novels, and the Stand features his best. The flashback methods in this series rob those characters of their soul. You don't get to feel how absolutely alone Nick is before he finds his salvation in the dim Tom Cullen. Harold's switch from whiny teen to manipulative adult is too sudden. Nadine's desperation to have Larry save her from her fate comes off as a simple request instead. Whoever made the decision to rely on flashbacks to tell this story did it a great injustice. Even the slow burn of the spread, the barely heard scary reports in the background of everyday drama, is lost.

The actor who impressed me the most was Brad William Henke, he did an excellent job as Tom. Glen Bateman was a runner up. The rest fall flat. Randall Flagg is a reoccurring villian is King's world, and in this series he is rude man wearing too much denim. Amber Heard as Nadine is a disaster.

However, it's not fair to rate this series on how it compares to the book, it's probably one of the better King adaptions. But like the rest of them, it's still completely disappointing.

Parasite (2019)

Masterpiece.

[10/10 · 31 January 2021]

Even the poster for this movie is perfect. It's full of heartbreak, intrigue, suspense. There's wonderful acting and beautiful camera work. The colors are fantastic. The only downfall is having to pay attention to the captions the whole time, but I watch all movies with subtitles anyways, so not that big of a deal, and certainly not a negative when it comes to this movie.

It Chapter Two (2019)

Let me down a bit.

[7/10 · 24 October 2020]

Chapter 2 let me down. The kids had great chemistry and I don't think the adults had that same magic.

I do like how much they followed from the novel with these adaptions.

This is easily one of my favorite books, I do think adult Eddie, Mike, and Richie were cast well, and adult Stan even though we see him for like two minutes.

This movies biggest weakness is being overly long and poorly paced, which is a problem the book faced too. I do think they should've interwoven the young and old a bit more like the book did and that may have fixed the pacing issues. I would love to see someone put together a more book accurate cut with the time jumps. I think that would fix chapter 2 a lot.

All around, if you enjoyed Chapter 1 you need to watch chapter 2, but 1 captured lightening in a bottle and two just couldn't hold up.

If these movies are redone in a few decades, which I'm sure they will be, we need to get the kid cast together to play the adults and talk about the Turtle!

It (I) (2017)

Book lover who loves this movie

[10/10 · 24 October 2020]

I think the most amazing thing about this movie is the seller child cast. The group of kids they brought together did a fantastic job embodying these characters. King's greatest strength is the dynamic characters he creates, so when a movie adaption falls flat on casting or character focus, it makes his stories seem weak. This movie went above and beyond to bring these kids to life. Little Eddie is just too perfect. The "gazebos" line was improvised!

There were some changes, the biggest of which was Bev being trapped by the dead lights. I wasn't a huge fan of that because I think it took away from trying to highlight how powerful the group is when they're all together, but I can forgive it. But I can forgive little things like how Eddie broke his arm, what It became for each of them, Georgie's body never being found.

There were several easter eggs for books readers throughout the movie that were fun to spot. Of course they skipped "that scene" and I always think it's a shame that King is expected to apologize for it all the time.

Really, I love this movie. Chapter 2 let me down a bit, but chapter 1 was solid.

Knives Out (2019)

Desalinated.

[10/10 · 5 April 2020]

I really enjoyed this movie. It's Clue-esque style makes for a really fun murder mystery. I wish there was more time for every cast member though, a lot of people I enjoyed lacked much impact on the story, and I really didn't enjoy Daniel Craig much, I don't know why it just didn't jive with me. Still, it surprised me. Give it a go!

A Knight's Tale (2001)

Why does this movie need to be historically accurate to be good?

[9/10 · 23 January 2020]

Queen, David Bowie, and Thin Lizzy are the perfect additions to this movie.

It's a peasant turned prince story, a sports star in the making with a medieval backdrop, and Heath delivers. Alan delivers. Paul delivers. And Bobby B delivers.

The chemistry of the cast gives such a depth and honesty to the comedy. You find yourself cheering for Sir Ulrich with the crowd. The love story is tolerable.

My little brother was obsessed with this movie and he'd insist on having it on all the time while he ran around the house playing knight. I should hate this movie for all the times I was forced to watch it. But I love it.

Look at Django, which was met with such acclaim, are the rap songs out of place? No, it's a tie in of our modern world with this past one. These are the moments that created the necessity in an artist to make this music. For hype, for entertainment, for a story. Queen made We Will Rock You to get a crowd pumped, David made Golden Years to get you moving, and the Boys Are Back is just a great intro song.

Also that kid they got to be little Heath is just too adorable.

Watch it, love it, and miss Heath.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)

Just Meh.

[4/10 · 25 December 2019]

JJ: "wanna see me save Star Wars?" "Wanna see me do it again?"

The most compelling part of TLJ was the idea of anyone using the force, of children out there needing guidance, of a new story that could stand on its own. Sure, they screwed Luke with that "gotta kill Ben even though I saved my dad," bit, but I was really looking forward to a nobody, standing strong on her own, like Anakin was from the start. But nope, just capitalize on past characters but making weak connections that are never fleshed out completely.

Embrace who you are Rey, but tell strangers you're a Skywalker so they like you. Take back your name and give it a new meaning girl, what are you doing.

They didn't have to kiss, why can't they be connected without it being romantic, they couldn't just be tied up in their destiny to kill palpatine, they had to shoe horn in some romance just to kill it immediately.

There were moments that made me smile, and moments that were touching. Lando and chewie saving the day, chewie's heartbreak over Leia, some cute new droids and side characters. But overall, Disney just wanted this over with, they asked JJ to wrap it up in a pretty bow to hide the flaws, and the performances were mostly phoned in.

I love you Mark Hamill, you deserved better than being forced to crap all over Luke, then getting one line, a shrug and a "I was wrong," to make us forgive you. As Weird Al wrote, "But I know that I'll be coming back some day I'll be playing this part 'till I'm old and grey The long-term contract that I had to sign Says I'll be making these movies till the end of time, with my Yoda, yo yo yo yo yoda."

Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me (1992)

The best part of the Twin Peaks story.

[10/10 · 13 October 2019]

Sheryl Lee's performance in this movie is surreal. She's graceful, disturbed, and fearless all at once. Her attempts to fight against the evil chasing her are simultaneously desperate and confident.

The missing pieces are essential to enjoying the whole crazy ride that is Fire Walk With Me. If you enjoy Laura's story and POV, I'd suggest reading the Secret Diary as well.

As always, you hate it or you love it with David Lynch. I can't believe this movie receives such flack with such fine performances and visuals from all involved.

The Cabin in the Woods (2011)

People, it's a mod podge and take it lightly.

[10/10 · 5 October 2019]

A lot of the one star reviews say it's the worst horror movie, well yeah because it's not just a horror movie.

I really adore this film. It's well crafted, the scenes hit the emotion they're trying to land, the cast of characters are fun and bad in a good way.

It's a mockery, Scary Movie but with a deeper story that's just as disturbing.

It has some Scream vibes for me, I love the meta.

It would be awesome to see more stories in this universe, some other failed rituals from that day. I bet you could get a cool cast together and make another great film.

Rick and Morty: Raising Gazorpazorp (2014) Season 1, Episode 7

Hit the Nail on the Head

[10/10 · 14 September 2019]

What would the worst crime be a female could commit in a female ruled society?

Bad Bangs.

This is my favorite episode of the series. The commentary about genders and parenthood is too on point. Morty trying to force the kid into being someone he wasn't, and then connecting more with his parents afterwards, was a gut punch. Summer and Rick pairing off led to hilarious interactions. Really just well done all around.

Scream 3 (2000)

Reviews tried to destroy the meta, but the meta was too strong.

[8/10 · 10 September 2019]

Honestly, I love these freaking movies. I've been marathoning them.

The meta is just too god damn good. The tongue in cheek, the over the top acting, the cheap thrills. God, I just love it.

I had to keep IMDB open, because I've seen everyone in this movie in something else. It's an absolutely fascinating catch all casting.

When are we going to run out of killers? Hopefully never. The next killer is going to be someone Sidney sneezed on in elementary school or something and I'll still love every minute of it.

Brilliant man, completely brilliant.

Scream 2 (1997)

4th Wall Comes Down

[8/10 · 10 September 2019]

Wow, the meta man, the meta.

Loved the concept of Woodsboro being immortalized on the big screen. Really makes you think about how we glorify real life horror.

Gale Weathers nudes weren't real guys. It was Gale's head, but Jennifer Aniston's body.

The killer reveal was so mind meltingly dumb, but in a fun way.

Plot Armor.

These movies are really just comedies with jump scares and blood. And once you view it that way, I promise the 6 it sits at right now will seem ridiculous to you too.

The Birthday Boys (2013–2014)

I. Love. This. Show.

[10/10 · 19 January 2019]

I don't know why I ever watched this, I don't know why my man and I can quote all of this, but this is a wonderful comedy show. It's so subtle, clever, and quotable. In fact we have a standing drinking game where if one of us makes a reference, we have to take a shot. Anymore it's just mimicking taking shots, but it's still relevant.

And one of them has a head that is perfectly square.

Losing this on Netflix was such a shame, but it really is a well crafted sketch show that was cut down too quickly. Bob Odenkirk is a delightful accomplice to the shenanigans. We love it so much we own the physical copies, which is huge.

So strap in and hold onto your shoes, because I guarantee you will find it adequate.