lueschow Reviews

Animal Kingdom: Loose Ends (2021) Season 5, Episode 12

This whole season has dragged

[6/10 · 28 September 2021]

We had an exciting heist at the beginning of the season where they got the dope from the plane and then it has been mediocre excitement for the rest of the season and Sunday night was no exception.

We have come to expect more.

I understand they are trying to build the "80's" Smurf but come on guys. A little more action and a little less squabbling between the characters like whiny biaches.

The Cody's of a few seasons ago would have taken two episodes to get back up on top.

Bliss (I) (2021)

I felt cheated

[3/10 · 18 February 2021]

Like many before me, I was mislead by the marketing. They made it out to be a really cool sci-fi movie (and it could have been one) and then midway through the movie they show you that you are watching the hallucinations of some drug addled people.

I'm guessing the marketing people guessed (probably correctly) that few people would watch another version of Trainspotting no matter how good the CGI so they intentionally mislead potential viewers to bait them in. When I realized that I had been duped by the hype my first comment (In General Akbar's voice of course) to my wife was "It's a trap".

That, alone, would not have earned such a low score from me. My problems with the movie were: 1) PAINFULLY SLOW!!! They dragged out scenes for far too long without adding value to the story; and 2) They didn't sew up a lot of loose ends so you were left wondering if you even understood the movie. Maybe the producers thought they were leaving it ambiguous so that you would think about homelessness and addiction but honestly it looked like lazy writing and sloppy editing.

Mr. Wilson and Ms.Hayek gave good solid performances. Their acting was earnest and believable. But everyone else around them (Writers, Editors, and maybe Directors) did a half-a$$ed job.

Unfriended (2014)

This was absolutely Awful!!!! A waste of time

[1/10 · 25 January 2017]

The 6 primary characters are raucous, angry, and rude. They reminded me of the sparrows that bicker and squabble at my bird feeders. A thoroughly unlikable bunch so you couldn't really identify with them or even empathize with them as they suffered through the difficulties set before them. The actors and actresses are comely enough, at least until they open their mouths and speak, and perhaps they would do better in another venue but they certainly didn't add value to this story.

The plot was thin and their was little explanation of how "the entity" accomplished it's task so there was no sense that this could happen in my house. Which, in turn, made this the least scary horror film I have watched in a long time - I think it is on par with Abbot and Costello meet the mummy but at least Abbot and Costello were funny.

As the movie unfolds you discover the terrible things each one of them has done and instead of making them more human, as minor character flaws often do, it makes you go from trying hard to understand and appreciate them to really disliking them.

The graphics and sound problems (pix-elating, ghosting, dropped and/or muted voice) didn't make the Skype conversation seem more real and just served as another annoyance on par with the terrible dialog.

Towards the end I was actively rooting for "the entity" both because it would mean the movie was over and because each and every character deserved more than they got.

Not worth watching!!!!

Into the Woods (2014)

Worst Disney Movie EVER!!!! And I saw Popeye in the Theater

[1/10 · 26 January 2015]

First Rule of Musicals - It should have catchy tunes that you are whistling on the way home. The songs were LONG, complicated and boring.

The undiscovered Actors and Actresses were lackluster at best. Unattractive and unbelievable would be a more accurate description. Meryl Streep tried to carry the movie but she was saddled with too much useless baggage. And when will somebody tell Johnny Depp that his shtick isn't cute anymore. He still tries to create a memorable quirky character out of every part and oft times ruins the part in the process.

This was a terrible way to spend a Sunday Evening.

The Purge (I) (2013)

Good Idea - Poorly executed

[5/10 · 8 June 2013]

The idea for this movie is really intriguing and it kept the family talking about it all the way home (30 minute drive). Unfortunately the director decided to make it an action film rather then follow the psychological and political implications of the original idea and then compounded the error by doing most of it in a dark house so it was really hard to see what was going on.

The character development was just plain poor. I am not posting for spoilers but they use 1 or 2 sentences in the beginning to elude to how characters will behave at the end and you just don't buy it. And beyond that, some of the main characters don't seem like real people; more like archetypes.

There is also the subtext of how this situation benefits one socioeconomic class at the expense of another - I'll leave it to you to figure out which is which. I felt like I was being forced to watch another preachy Ronald Emmerich movie i.e. 2012/Day after Tomorrow.

Even with the low number I recommend you watch it as a date movie before dinner...That way you don't have to pay full price because it isn't worth it, and it will give you a lot to talk about over dinner.

Camp Hell (2010)

Worth a watch

[8/10 · 15 September 2012]

No one will argue that they overspent on sets, special effects, cast, or polishing. I think the term I used after watching it was Campy with no pun intended.

That being said - I love any movie that can tell a compelling story with good honest dialog and emotion. This movie did that; and beyond that it showed me that there was a world beyond the limited stage set that I was allowed to see. I became interested in the "People of Hope" and how their society is organized. I wondered what happened beyond the walls of the camp. I felt compassion for these teens that are oppressed by their society and taught to deny their very selves in hope of a better afterlife.

I also was much more frightened of the priest then any potential demon roaming those woods.

Finally: It was good to see Dana Delany and Andrew McCarthy

Dream House (2011)

Previews made it seem it would be something it wasn't

[16 October 2011]

I went to this movie expecting to see something like "A Haunting in Connecticut" or something like it. It wasn't quite what they had made it out to be and it turned out to be more of a psychological thriller.

I found myself looking at my watch way too often during the first half of the movie because it was moving slow and it didn't look like it would ever get moving but they did a nice job of stitching it together at the end.

I'm glad I hung in there because in the end I really enjoyed it.

I've been in love with Rachel Wiese since the first Mummy movie and I thought her and Daniel Craig had good Chemistry on screen. Treat her right Dan because she is a beautiful and talented woman with plenty of fans :)

Hereafter (2010)

Slow, and Frankly Boring (Spoilers throughout)

[3/10 · 25 October 2010]

I guess I should have done more research on this movie before I plunked down $18 for my wife and I to see it. Frankly, the warning signs were there: Opening Weekend and the movie theater wasn't full, Elderly audience, I hadn't seen the preview at any of my previous movies. But in my defense: It had a name like Hereafter, It came out near Halloween and it had Matt Damon in it. I thought it was going to be exciting and scary. Boy was I surprised.

1 hr and 30 minutes into the movie and the three main themes were still miles apart and I was bored (looking at my watch to see how much longer it would go on).

So OK, let's assume that I came to this movie in the wrong frame of mind and lets examine it for the piece of art it was: It wasn't particularly uplifting, it was sad, it was slow, but I will grant you that: The Cinematography was good, the Actors/Actresses were good for how they were used, and I think the subject matter was handled well (it can be controversial, after all) Bottom Line: Run Men!!!! If your significant other suggests this movie you are in for a Chick Flick. Save yourselves, it's too late for me.

Timeline (2003)

A steaming mound

[2/10 · 20 February 2010]

Michael Creighton writes his book in well defined scenes and his dialog is relatively believable. So anyone who writes a screenplay for one of his books ought to be able to do it in a weekend.

Between the writers and the director they through out almost everything intelligent and insightful in the book and decided to focus on an evening of lobbing flaming projectiles.

There was no real development of the professor, the knights, the characters, the lab, or the battle. It was just an escape and fight movie. Unlike the book which full of subplots and insights into the life of the middle ages that is not glamorous and romantic.

I am eagerly awaiting PREY to come out as a movie and I hope they don't let these writers and directors near it.

Read the book and stay away from this movie.

2012 (I) (2009)

Hire a few scientists or Engineers as Consultants for God's sake

[3/10 · 16 November 2009]

This movie was terrible and I would have given it a 1 if not for the eye candy effect: San Diego buildings Marching to the sea, Yellowstone finally getting the volcano it deserves, and then the Air Craft Carrier surfing into Washington DC to lay waste to the White House.

But to think that they would undertake this huge endeavor to save the Human race and they would choose occupants for the "Arks" based on their ability to pay? And then, at the last minute regret that decision seems quite silly. Please spare me the message "It's not fair that people with money have opportunities that the poor do not." I hate the anti-capitalist message they try to slip in every chance they get.

And why seal the Arks up if you intend to have them ride on top of the waves anyway. Beyond that, Why Drydock the Arks in the first place. If you have the resources to build those arks you could flood the valley and float the arks on the water, waiting for that big wave to hit. Anchor them tight and when the water washes over them, release the anchors and let them float to the surface.

I even noticed in the last 20 minutes of the movie during the flooding scenes that they must have run out of money because they failed to "mat" the cinematography. Some of the quick scenes looked like they were made in a high-school film class.

This is one to avoid.

The Informant! (2009)

Terrible Movie!!!

[1/10 · 28 September 2009]

*** Potential Spoilers Start Right Away because of the reason for this review ***

This movie has very few redeeming features.

First of all - It's NOT FUNNY!!!! It's sad. During the whole movie, the Protagonist (Matt Damon) is becoming mired, deeper and deeper in problems within his company along with his own personal problems. It was painful to watch. I would like to say it was because of Matt Damon's brilliant acting but it wasn't. He was Mediocre at best and the character he played wasn't: Likable, Believable, or even understandable.

I also didn't feel bad for the FBI or ADM which both played Antagonists. The story painted a picture of the worst of human nature coming out in everyone and I felt filthy when it was over.

I only went to this movie because This American Life recommended it and frankly, it was a bad call on their part. This is a terrible movie about a horrible situation.

The only thing I enjoyed about the movie, being from Central Illinois, is that I recognized several places in Decatur where the movie primarily takes place.

The Invasion (I) (2007)

Save yourself it's too late for me. I've already seen it.

[3/10 · 24 April 2009]

OK, perhaps that's excessively harsh but this was a terrible movie. The brief special effects didn't improve this over the 1978 version and even good acting by Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig couldn't take an inane screenplay, poor cinematography, and even poorer directing and make it good.

The Screenplay author was LAZY!! He wanted to do as little as possible to deliver his story and so there are plot holes that you could drive a truck through.

The special effects were Cheezy. OOOOh I'm really scared when I find a disgusting prop. The little bit of CGI didn't make up for the 90 minutes.

See the 1978 version or the 1950s version but steer clear of this dog!!!

WALL·E (2008)

Preachier then Saturday morning cartoons of the 70's

[8/10 · 29 June 2008]

I Agree that Wall-E is lovable and the story line and character development was wonderful.

However and I'm going to state Spoiler coming now:

SPOILER I couldn't believe how many morality messages they could stuff into 90 minutes: Consumerism, Littering, Take care of the earth, Obesity, Apathy and don't forget the evils of technology.

Please PIXAR - Don't spoil my evening with my wife and kids with endless guilt trips about being a person in a modern society. If I want a lecture on Earth First I'll read the Unibombers manifesto.

It's a good movie it really is but it didn't need that much lecturing.

Skinwalkers (2006)

Good but Short and it appeared to have pieces hacked out.

[8/10 · 13 August 2007]

My wife and I saw this movie on Saturday night and enjoyed it but it wasn't near the 110 minutes they claim. The real movie didn't start until 7:30 and we were out of the theater by 9:00.

The story line was OK but it could have used some more fleshing out.

It seems like someone did a horrible hack job on this movie because there were were huge plot holes that may have been explained by parts of the film that weren't there. I won't go into details because I don't want to telegraph (spoil) the movie.

The acting was actually pretty good. Much better than I had hoped given the lack of heavyweight star-power. Not a lot of dialog but what was there had emotion and intelligence.

I appreciate the lack of gore and it was nice to have a Werewolf movie that doesn't have to be R rated and rely on blood to survive.

If you like the Genre then go see this and you won't be disappointed.

The Descent (2005)

Split Decision Really

[7/10 · 4 August 2006]

I liked the movie for the most part. I liked the story and the way you were allowed to be intimate with the group as moved through the cave. I would have liked to know more background on the rest women and not just a few.

The story was credible, the characters were believable and you could identify with them. Even the critters were somewhat believable though they seemed jacked up on Crank.

I think the director and writer went to the Shock Well 1 too many times and that detracted from the movie. The other thing I found really bothersome was the use of camera shake to imply activity and the light cutting in an out in an unbelievable way. Those are cheap theatrics that weren't necessary.

Go see it with a friend. It's worth the $6.50 for matinée but I don't think it's worth the $8.50 for an evening showing.

BloodRayne (2005)

Enjoyable

[8/10 · 9 January 2006]

My wife and I have always been fans of Dark brooding Vampire stories and that's what tempted us to drive 20 miles (closest theater) to see this. We didn't know this was based on a Video game until the movie opened.

*** Pros *** The actors were all first rate (Notice that most of the key actors have a long history of other theatrical work). The sets were richly decorated and the extras added to the scenery rather than just cluttering up the vision. The story line was enjoyable and moved along at a nice pace. All of these things made it a movie I would recommend to people who enjoy this type of movie.

*** Cons *** As you would expect from a Vampyre movie there was a lot of blood but I think they over did that in the combat scenes. The combat scenes were overly crowded and this made it hard to understand what was going on until the battles were resolved. Some of the dialog and character interplay was stilted and you can blame both the director and the writer for this. And the story seemed a little underdeveloped which I would hold the writer accountable for.

This is the type of movie that would be fun to see on an opening Friday night with a lot of fans so that you can watch the audience get excited as the movie unfolds. Unfortunately, my wife and I saw it on a Sunday afternoon in a mostly empty theater. But we still enjoyed it.

Raging Sharks (2005 Video)

Don't Rent this Horrible Horrible Movie

[1/10 · 6 September 2005]

This movie was Horrible!!!!!!! My 13 year old daughter and 10 year old son were laughing at how bad this movie was. I rented it thinking it was another Deep Blue Sea and instead we got a Sci-Fi movie of the week full of stock footage.

This takes place deep under water and yet many of the shark attack scenes show a shark swimming at the surface.

The plot is incredibly thin. Who would design a research platform that when exposed to some trauma where the life support was cutoff would require the occupants to swim outside to engage the back up life support? We are told in the movie at 1 point that they have a 10 minute supply of air and yet fires are raging out of control all over the station.

The acting is shoddy!!!!! Save yourselves people!!!! It's too late for me. Don't rent this

Creator (1985)

A sad and romantic comedy

[8/10 · 1 August 2005]

This is a wonderful movie that focuses on character development. The characters are quirky and entertaining. The science in this movie is relatively weak but this movie isn't about science. This is about love, loss, and coming to terms with the curves life throws you.

Peter O'tool is Brilliant... I repeat Brilliant in this movie Muriel Hemmingway (Melly) is wonderfully portrayed and the rest of the actors/actresses played at the top of their game on this movie.

Grab your girlfriend/boyfriend turn down the lights pop some popcorn and enjoy the show.

Warning: There is some foul language and nudity in this movie so I don't recommend watching it with your 10 year old.