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Reviews
Alfred J. Kwak (1989)
Pinnacle of Dutch children shows
This shows has amazing storytelling, blending world history, human rights and justice, and learning to look beyond stereotypes, all told from the perspective of an adopted duckling who comes of age in a fictive Netherlands. It starts out focussing on the difficulties of growing up and develops towards major historical events, such as the second world war or the forging of universal human rights by the UN. It is incredibly well written and (for its time) animated. I truly hope they revisit this show so everyone on the globe can enjoy Alfred.
The Shape of Water (2017)
All style no substance
Aesthetically, the film is beautiful. Del Toro nails a perfect ambiance, well inspired shots that fit with the timeframe of the movie. The music score is excellent too.
That's about it. The story is a ridiculous crossover between E. T. and Tarzan; starred by The Creature From The Black Lagoon. The plot is cookie cutter predictable, the characters very flat one dimensional tropes: swollen feet aunt Jemima who's sassy but has a heart of gold, the 'relic of the past' (gay) artist, cartoon evil g-man, broken but pure heroine, russian scientist that grows a heart and of course the monster whos actually not the monster of the film. None of the characters get a chance to grow some complexity, despite a near 2 hour flick. There are some attempts but the characters are quickly thrown back into their one dimensional selves.
Weirdest scene has to be how two adult women are giggling about human-fish sex, both not one second slightly conflicted about the occurrence.
And then of course are the subtle hints that you can guess from miles away. The three scars in the protagonist's neck turn out to really be gills. Soviet scientist gets betrayed by his own government. People write their location on a calendar that eventually tells the villain where they will set the creature free. Aunt Jemima finally stands up against her lazy husband. Fallen artist learns there's more value in life than his past glory. Yawn.
Brightburn (2019)
Don't believe any glowing reviews
Apparently this movie about evil Superman. The main character doesn't develop at all. Backstory is not longer than your average tweet: boy falls down from the sky, gets adopted but turns out evil.
During the film, he turns 12 and decides to horribly end anyone who mildly stands in his way. I had the hope that somewhere this film would surprise with a twist, but it's just as exciting as the good Superman but without an enemy, kryptonite or people he cares about. There's no emotional complexity in the protagonist, not any emotion actually. A bowl of cold spaghetti could make a better performance.
The film follows a stale slasher template with cheap scares and tries to amuse gore fans with graphic scenes. But because there's so little sense in the protagonist's motives, relationship building or build up towards the moment, it feels like this film reheated the rejected scenes from a straight-to-budget dvd final destination. Normally I can enjoy a cheap, brain-off horror for what it is, but this doesn't even meet that bar.
I normally don't even write reviews but this film was so awful I felt obligated to warn you. This film is not for anyone, not for Horror lovers, not for a cheap movie night, not for the gore fans, it can't even meet the 'so cringey awful its fun' bar. It has nothing. Well that's not completely true, the acting of the rest of the cast is decent.