j-stewart Reviews

Setup (I) (2011)

Don't bother

[3/10 · 13 September 2011]

I thought the cast might have been a fair indication of this being a worthwhile film. Actually, this is a very weak film that never strays far from its well worn genre. This in itself wouldn't be a terminal flaw, if the execution had any redeeming qualities. Unfortunately it doesn't.

The script is abysmal, and includes some genuinely laughable moments - which would have been a plus except for the fact that they occur in scenes which appear to be serious (Im referring to the dialogues between Sonny and the priest, which are ridiculously contrived). There's more, but I will keep this short.

For me the worst aspect of the film was the 'acting' by Rapper 50 Cent. This guy really has nothing going for him on screen. Sorry, Mr Cent, but not OK to try to render a character in a single tone of voice and facial expression. To be honest, they could have got one of the crew to run around with a life-sized photo of this guy playing the part instead of the actor himself and it would have been more animated.

Fundamentally this is a revenge tale that works by creating sympathy for the protagonist and therefore promising some retributive element to compensate for his plight. I wont give away any plot details in case you are actually unlucky enough to see this film, but I will say that in this regard the content isn't there either. In other words, the ending sucks.

... which would be forgivable if the rest of the film leading up to it had any merit whatsoever. But it doesn't. It really is a total waste of time. Avoid at all costs: 90 mins of your life you will never get back.

Awful.

Mars Needs Moms (2011)

Cant believe all the negative reviews

[7/10 · 12 June 2011]

I wasn't going to watch this movie at all because of the terribly low score (4) on IMDb. Luckily, my kids talked me into it, and I was very pleasantly surprised indeed.

I am amazed that this movie scored so low. Yes, granted, its nothing groundbreaking; there are plenty of well-worn formulas applied. But its far from unusual in this regard, and the story is full of fun situations and characters.

Visually, its very nice to look at, and I found myself thoroughly enjoying the time I spent watching it. So did my kids, 8 and 10, who both thought it was great! I don't usually review movies here, but I often check the ratings before watching films. In this instance, I am amazed at the low rating this film received, and feel its unrepresentative of the actual quality.

So 7/10 from me, and really at a loss as to how almost 30% of viewers could have possibly thought 1/10 was a fair rating!

9 Miles Down (2009)

Awful

[1/10 · 18 September 2010]

There's nothing good to say about this movie. Its over-long, the acting's bad, the special effects are crappy, the plot is weak and its utterly un-entertaining.

This is the single worst film I have seen in years. Starts out with a promising premise, but dissolves into cliché.

The no-name actors do an awful job. The acting is wooden and utterly unconvincing.

The thing thats most irritating about it is that there is virtually no plot. The premise gets ridden out after about the first 45 minutes and then its just a bunch of standard devices used over and over to try to 'keep you guessing'. The result is phenomenally tedious.

There's nothing here for lovers of this genre. Its just badly done. period. 90 mins of your life you will never get back if you are unlucky enough to get stuck in front of it.

1 out of 10.

The Air I Breathe (2007)

too many plot holes

[5/10 · 16 June 2008]

I thought this film might be worth watching. after all it had high scores on IMDb and rotten tomatoes and sounded like it might be thought provoking.

I was amazed at how hard I had to work to suspend disbelief while watching this film.

a guy goes to rob a bank. he walks to the street outside the bank and stands there holding his gun in his hand and looking at it.

stop me if I'm wrong but if you are going to rob a bank would you be standing outside in a busy street admiring your hardware? then he leaves the bank after robbing it and runs down the street- holding the gun. there are police everywhere and it doesn't occur to him that he might be drawing attention to himself running away WITH A GUN IN HIS HAND? A woman works in a lab doing venom extraction on snakes. she's bitten by one of the snakes. She then has to go to hospital where there is no anti venine. Don't you reckon if you ran a lab where you were handling poisonous snakes all day you would have the appropriate anti venine handy for when one of the staff got bitten? I could write all day about the holes in this film. seriously.

Too much work trying to figure out so much of the stupidity of the action. Really requires to suspend belief beyond the capacity of any fair thinking person.

5/10