glstrom-14260 Reviews

Unfrosted (2024)

don't take it too seriously

[6/10 · 20 May 2024]

As a child of the 60s and cereal lover I appreciated some of what was portrayed in Unfrosted, GI Joe, comic books, baseball cards and of course cereal (with toy inside) and story to read on box was big part of growing up. I really enjoyed the dumpster kids, truly about the funniest part of the movie really as a lot of the rest of it was just rushed and fell short for me. I also don't think grassy knoll, jfk assassination or jack ruby killing Oswald will EVER be funny no matter how Jerry tries (had this huge scene in Seinfeld as well with the magic loogie, fell flat with me) He has the money so this is surely more of a passion play of sorts for him to show his loves of life, hope he and his mates had fun.

Thirteen: Episode #1.5 (2016) Season 1, Episode 5

Jodie's talent is wasted

[2/10 · 8 May 2024]

I really had high hopes for this and it actually had a promising start. The decline began in episode 3 as all the relationships blow up and Ivy is arrested for not telling them about kidnappers dead brother. Her reluctance to speak is a problem as we don't find out how she was treated and what she did for 13 years of her absence. She totters between being a child and adult, acts like she is manipulating everyone then all of a sudden gets kidnapped again and everyone against her is now her champion. Dad sees blue van and goes berserk, sisters boyfriend was a dick, now he is mr helpful, old best friend El is useless as is Tim and magically Gizz the wife is now on team Ivy all the way. Most ludicrous is detectives getting in car wreck trying to stop the guy and in hospital the guy with broken leg decides to leave but comes back after coaxing the one clue out of kidnapped kid , a power tower that breaks whole case open. Arrives back in hospital to see them giving car to partner with a head injury who listed him as next of kin so now he can hold her hand. Meanwhile Ivy shoots blanks at crazy captor then bites him in face as house burns down and escapes just before it explodes into the arms of all loved ones. Feel badly for actual kidnap victims with actual stories, could have learned a lot but at least remember one thing, never give up.!

Killing Eve: Hello, Losers (2022) Season 4, Episode 8

Developed an allergy

[1/10 · 1 May 2024]

To Eves face. About 2 episodes into season 2 it became more and more difficult to look upon that long, frequently sad, confused, pathetic hound dog face of hers. I don't need to see her up close, undressing, in a tub (ridiculous scene with Helene) eating curly fries, humping co workers, gouging eyes out of Gunn (like she could even compete with a trained assassin) singing terrible karaoke, officiating a wedding, dancing her ass off, or coming up for air reborn. Reborn into what? What did she ever accomplish and why? Killed a 12 member, why? Hunted down Villanelle? Why? Had a crush on her even though you watched her stab your best friend to death on a dance floor? Why scream when she killed Helene then? Why pursue the 12? Why not suspect Carolyn?

Whilst I am asking why I could add why have Villanelle kill the 12 without identifying them? Why have bug eyed Pam kill Konstantin? Why have bug eyed Pam doing anything for that matter so late in the game, season 4 last episode crunch time distraction. Did Carolyn find out from Konstantin that Villanelle killed Kenny? Thought that not possible as she was offing some baker in Poland or something. See that is the thing, what was the rhyme or reason for ANYONE getting killed? Yes, the wife beaters deserved it, but the family, the religious dude and his daughter etc etc. Motive, good guy, bad guy, all need to be worked out and resolved for people to appreciate story, and you DON"T just kill your lead character on a boat at the very end of 4 long seasons (which should have ended after Eve took one in the back end of Season 2 btw) with nothing to follow but a weak sistine chapel reference and bloody wings and a giant THE END in case you didn't get the message. Stupid me I was doing so well avoiding spoilers as I worked my way through this up to 4:4 then stumbled onto V's wiki and like the penny in "Somewhere in Time" I could not look away fast enough to see she died at Tower Bridge. I just didn't know how, or by who. Carolyn ordered hit because she may have killed Kenny ? Damn lady was the 12 ffs, so bad guy wins, starts over cause she can, and now has Irina doing her bidding as psycho in waiting? I felt badly for a second when V clocked her with a wrench (which should have caused much more damage btw) but now not so much. Never really have the whole bury your gay people trope much thought as seemed everyone was fair game, just needed some rhyme or reason for any of it in the end and was not rewarded.

Killing Eve: Are You Leading or Am I? (2020) Season 3, Episode 8

loose ends

[6/10 · 26 April 2024]

I wonder why some people get to write 23 character reviews and me 600...do they pay a membership to say. "Good Episode, look forward to next season" ? At any rate I realize I am let to this party and that the train for interest in this has mostly left the station, but at least I get a weak little wave from Eve as I go. Seriously needed to have a a few things wrapped up this season, like what actually happened to Kenny (not buying Konstantine cause he is a weasel/liar through and through) , why Bear was so slow on "lets go to the videotape Johnny" moment while his candies are highlighted once again for comedic effect. Dasha now must go because? Konstantine was embezzling money how? When? Eve gets a clue then nearly drops it pursuing the money and annoyingly not giving heart attack man (who she should have been doing mouth to mouth on and chest compressions earlier) his nesting dolls. Leads us to his now completely psycho daughter running over a nice guy foreshadowing her replacing Villanelle I suppose). Let's call her, not tell her where we are and have her show up. This after pointless dance scene where we again are subjected to Eve's unwatchable long, sad, droopy face while trying to read every great nuance in Villanelle/Jodies.

Cut to Geraldine the pointless having relationship with Konstantine (never retrieving fridge magnet bus listening device btw) and wasting perfectly good filet mignon and for what ? So now all the big players are in one room, Paul the under developed baddie gets offed as we are to imagine it is Konstantine Carlolyn is going to kill for being last person with Kenny. Eve acts surprised and shocked , Villanelle indifferent and K should have had another heart attack. The problem is we have no real villains , who the F are the 12, what is the point of having Kennys buds even exist, what in hell does V even see in E? Seriously, what? Likes her just because Eve has a crush on her? Nico was right to tell her to piss off as she brings nothing to the party but that face and we have another 8 episodes to see if it changes. Please Villanelle , do something about that.

Killing Eve: Wide Awake (2019) Season 2, Episode 7

seemed unnecessary

[7/10 · 24 April 2024]

Well I have discovered a way to continue to watch this series as the only thing deterring me is Eves face. Sorry Sandra, I have reached the point where I cannot take your long face and its perpetual sad, confused look so I simply look somewhere else. It's a bit of a challenge and of course seems petty and childish but that is just the way it has to be as it seems she isn't going anywhere, yet. Tremendous acting by the rests of the cast as Villanelle continues to be the psychopath she is, just seems Genna was undeserving of her fate as Nico continues to be scruffy and unlikable in his way. Hope the pasta was worth it Jenna, sorry about the digestive issues it caused !

Killing Eve: I Hope You Like Missionary! (2019) Season 2, Episode 6

So very tired of her face.

[6/10 · 22 April 2024]

It has taken this long to finally admit that Sandra Oh's (aka Eve Polastri) face has reached the point where I no longer can look at it. I am not sure why this is other that just basic over exposure or her expressions, especially towards husband, or mindless smashing of articles in rooms....just have had enough so will probably just fast forward to final episode and be done with it. Sad because Villanelles face is so expressive and engaging, though I have also reached the point where gratuitous violence (yes, I know that is the point, she is a psycho, we get it) with woman literally being thrown under a bus (no witnesses ?) while Eve looks on and somehow accepts this as part of the job...no wonder her husband abandoned ship. Guess he got tired of looking at her face as well.

Ripley: VIII NARCISSUS (2024) Season 1, Episode 8

bravissimo

[9/10 · 10 April 2024]

What an amazing production from casting to the beautiful BW cinematography, camera angles, and scenery. The swap of Dickie and Tom was so cleverly done, and the tension of Marge finding things out and almost going for a swim/getting smacked in the head with an ashtray was thick! I didn't buy Ravini not seeing through Toms disguise though, nor the fact that he never obtained a photo of this guy they are trying to find, catch, interrogate. Clever was his repeated clicks of the pen, smokes using same ashtray as murder weapon, (didn't find colorful bloody cat prints though did he?) but to not have asked Marge for a picture of Richard Dickie was just dumb.

Some great planning by Tom to put Picasso in his new alias name (though Marge seemed to have broken character in the end, finally cracking a smile even though guy she loved has disappeared). Love that we see what could happen should investigator have a clue, and flashbacks to "what was last thing you said to Dickie?" with image of his dead bloody hand on the boat floating though the air. The links with artist Caravaggio seemed oddly placed, then prominent in final episodes like the spirit of this guy was living in Tom. Can't say enough about the beautiful images, reflections, framing and textures of beautiful Italy circa 1960 , and the added suspense every time he left a train walking by the gendarmes just tempting fate. Bravo.

3 Body Problem: Judgment Day (2024) Season 1, Episode 5

Sliced children body problem

[2/10 · 3 April 2024]

I am not sure who would give this a 10 considering the amazing weak CGI, the nano tech fibers slicing through a container ship in Panama Canal thus slicing hundreds of innocent children as well (who were spared being burnt to a crisp when ship magically came to a stop on shore). Even more magically the hard drive which should not even be readable by current technology (and how did it get here in first place) now can be accessed to show that a nursery rhyme was misunderstood by this advanced entity after 58 years of chatting with us? Main protagonist cut to ribbons along with his ship and fellow arc members and for what? Sorry Auggie, should have protested a bit more to the all powerful Raj who no one knew two episodes ago. Video game premise was clever and well done, not so much with real effort to thwart the existential threat to humankind and the birds.

True Detective: Night Country: Part 2 (2024) Season 4, Episode 2

weak, disjointed and poorly motivated

[3/10 · 23 January 2024]

So when exactly are you allowed to bust into someones HS classroom and dismiss the students in the middle of lesson to ask teacher questions? How about closing down the only community gathering place in town, local ice skating rink, to thaw some bodies (then let anyone in to gawk). Don't have interest in watching grandmas get high or other old people F, even it if it Jodi Foster. Such on again off again interaction between her and former boss (and quick F) and Navarro (get the F away from my case, oh, let me put away your groceries for you) who continues to unimpress with Spice Girls driving to distraction with sister. Just happen to know tattoo artist making special rune shapes, and lo and behold they have a photo of another victim. Tie all this in with bad water, a corrupt mining company and secretive research facility unable to succeed (just ask the geography teacher when you interrupt his class) and you have one convoluted mess not ready to thaw any time soon.

Reacher (2022– )

Dumb with a capital D

[2/10 · 20 January 2024]

There is nothing cool or clever about any of this story, and even suspending belief did not save that last scene of carnage. So many people get shot or beat up throughout this tale that you become numb to it and ultimately don't care who gets it or why. And while they could have offed Reacher and the gang in the big bad hideout (but we will stab her arm and shoot his leg to which they barely flinch and never bleed out) and the dropping from a helicopter seems to be the baddest punishment imaginable by the old guy who should have been out after one punch by Reacher. Of course Reacher should have been badly injured after being tied up, making a few jokes, having a few flashbacks of days gone by and shooting a senator and police chief to make his point. The baddies of course all shoot like stormtroopers and the mastermind baddie just gets gunned down in a hail of bullets for his many transgressions. Gentle dude tells the girl she will be protected has nothing to worry about, blah blah, so good with kids....give me a break, you are better off in buffalo kid.

Finally of course Reacher can run to a helicopter, jump on as it is taking off, punch the hell out of people , hold his woman on a gurney dangling out the back not once but twice while being punched and kicked in the head all while she somehow escapes (with knife wound in arm) and climbs back inside to join the fun. Feds show up just in time while Reacher waltzes off with 67 million he doesn't want, and they all go into a diner without so much as washing their faces and have a nice breakfast together.....why don't you take a picture of that too??? Yeah, Neagley never touches anyone and Reacher only needs a toothbrush, we get it, eat your cereal and ride off into the sunset till the next reunion, we won't hold our breath.

The Big Lebowski (1998)

no pay off

[3/10 · 20 January 2024]

I do not understand why this movie is so revered or considered a cult classic unless being unemployed, smoking weed, bowling (which he never does) or abiding is your thing. His buddy the nam vet is an annoying disgrace to all veterans and his other buddy dies for no reason whatsoever. In between you get pointless car wrecks, car beatings, bowling montages, and drugged trips to somehow entertain you and make you think this dude is someone to admire. Yeah, credence line was marginally funny, but the rug peeing (yeah, tied the room together, we get it, not funny the first time). Never was there a payoff of money, of lessons learned, of some kid wrongly accused, some woman who somehow wants a kid with the unemployed loser, then taking handicapped guy and dropping him on the floor is supposed to be the height of comedy? Seriously, and I don't need some cowboy staring at me and breaking the 4th wall to try to convince me that this guy in a bathrobe and slippers is somehow cool or quotable. Could not wait for it to either get to a point or end and remember why I tend to avoid something everyone else seems to be all hot on (ok, was wrong about Harry Potter I will admit it) cause hype is BS.

Reacher: New York's Finest (2024) Season 2, Episode 6

WTH?

[2/10 · 12 January 2024]

What a joke, cop rides streets of nyc getting shot at with machine guns and doesn't call back up or have tires blown out, then gives himself up at the end? Pointless. Also Reacher in wide open shooting at a helicopter with a handgun as bullets rain down on him from automatic weapon fire above, again, total joke. Baddies file into the one bus in junkyard to be killed one by one like lambs to slaughter, right. One can suspend disbelief only so far....oh yeah, track someone down by inviting to play a video game leading them to location within minutes. Then the kid hides in back of car being shot at never getting hit and eventually leaves safety of car to just run away from hail of bullets....wow! Meanwhile cop bleeds out because Nealey can't touch him to staunch bleeding but just holds his hand in the end, totally pointless. Somehow Reacher finds clothes that fit him everywhere in a rack holding a handful of choices, whatever. Shark is jumped Reacher, time to wrap this up.

Bodies (2023)

really well done , cast, w high production value

[8/10 · 13 November 2023]

I am often spending huge amounts of time looking for next entertainment as there is so much out there that just does not click. Annoying characters, preachy or uber violent or just plain mindless and predictable. This was none of those things as a talented cast is woven over 100 years into a great mystery. Yes, the trigger was a tad outlandish to have the fate of the world in the hands of a kid, but all things leading up to it, including little Agnes who truly stole everyones heart, were a unique part of the puzzle.

Of course some plot holes here and there, and while I do not love seeing gay couples interact the relationship was part of the story and not one that was pushy or preaching. Love was the answer as so often is, and fortunately most everyone found some.

JFK: One Day in America (2023)

Still a sad day for the world

[8/10 · 7 November 2023]

This was a unique and compelling view of one of the most pivotal days in history as told by people who are still alive to remember it. From the co worker at the school book depository who noticed Lees "curtain rods" to the couple just feet away from "the place where it happened" and of course Clint Hill who is haunted by being just a bit too slow to protect the president from the head shot that ultimately killed him. These people are all haunted by the events of 60 years ago, and it amazes me to think that witnesses to the event are dying off , soon to be but a memory.

There was no time spent on conspiracy theories and I have finally come full circle and agree with the findings. Lee acted alone. Why no one from FBI was monitoring threats from above we must remember that we were innocent and naive to think someone would have the audacity to kill a president. I have been to Dealey Plaza and the 6th floor of the TSBD to see how very small the space is and look out the window to the street below. I have also stood on the pedestal Abraham Zapruder filmed the murder from only 30 feet away....so very unsettling.

The colorization was done with a light touch but still not necessary for Lees execution at the hands of Jack Ruby. I hadn't realized he was hanging out there with everyone else at police Dept, almost looking for a chance to do it earlier. Also they kept showing yellow roses in back of presidential limo....are you kidding me? Jackie was given yellow rose of Texas in earlier appearances but at Love field she was given red roses. Sadly these were strewn across the back seat along with the presidents blood and brain matter and remain a powerful image to this day. I do hope Clint Hill and the rest find peace in their remaining years and understand their place in history as we all wish we could turn back time and check those curtain rods in back seat, or jump on back of limo a split second earlier. Stephen King certainly tried to imagine (though ending of that story really disastrous) so that is where it leaves us 60 years on.

Ahsoka: Part Eight: The Jedi, the Witch and the Warlord (2023) Season 1, Episode 8

same Star Wars plot, different day

[3/10 · 12 October 2023]

I am not entirely sure what makes people so enamored with everything past the original Star Wars movie. Same rag tag rebels, same cute helpers, same useless baddie who's main talent is standing around looking out from a throne into the galaxy and watching his/her legions of stormtroopers get their ass kicked, again and again. Oh, and always a very clever droid that can fix everything, fly everything, and remember everything (unless they get rebooted, but then there is another r2 d2 type trash can drone that has them backed up). The rest is some council sitting around making worldly decisions based on nothing and eventually a scene at a cantina to see what other aliens the special effects team has created with great care. Seriously, blew the Death Star up, hmmmm. We need a plot, how about another Death Star ? Return to Death Star in later episodes and always throw in a light saber and make sure the color is right or some sw canon loving nerd will cry. A big breakthrough was actually getting to know the person behind the stormtrooper, but nothing explains what a terrible aim they are or why Jedi have to do a hundred spins during a lightsaber fight. Don't blame Disney for weak material, it was already weak to begin with so no age can really lay claim to whom the intended audience may be...just keep selling that merch and rolling out hits from the past and this can go on forever.

Luther: The Fallen Sun (2023)

three is a gift

[3/10 · 5 September 2023]

I do like Idris but watching this was torture with stuff just happening for no apparent reason, hundreds of people killed by this so called genius of technology (whos damned phone would not work underwater, like it could send a signal...wth?) yeah, stabbed, shot, beaten up, drowned, doesn't matter, Luther just keeps on trucking. People keep going off on him like he has done something wrong just to add to the tension, and that escape from prison (like they would allow him a phone, radio, etc. There to begin with) then he can't kick Serkis' ass like he is 10 years old., WTH? Oh, and in two seconds burn lady explains exactly where in Norway the underground lair is with bodies under the ice and others locked up (how again did he get them, what happened to them after). Oh, and chief cop saves daughter and then just says, go with them so she can chat up stabbed, shot, beaten and drowned Luther. Spare us your super hero poses as well unless you are sporting a blade and opening the gates of Assguard.

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (2023)

less fun than imagined

[7/10 · 1 August 2023]

I am pretty sure we all know that nazis were bad, the worst of the worst and probably best forgotten than reworked into every story needing a villain. The whole set up for these bad guys is unreal (cia backing him?) and the innocents dying is unacceptable. SOBs did enough killing so now we need to see nice old woman shot in back running away to prove they are evil? Know it all god daughter and her half mustached pick pocket punk did nothing to add to the story, neither likable or believable. (yeah, I can drive a scooter and fly a plane...at the same time!!!) Oh, and when shot I am pretty sure you don't want to go skydiving, and how is it again nazi boy figured out they were heading to Sicily, going west? Really quite a stretch but nice Karen Allen got invited to the show, glad she wasn't shot like everyone else then quickly dismissed....where is the fun in that?! Bye Indy, you were cool and had hell of a run.

Manifest: Final Boarding (2023) Season 4, Episode 20

What the H ? (stands for hug)

[4/10 · 28 June 2023]

I cannot believe I got caught up in this semi religious, spiritual ,odd ball, convoluted, time bending, hug fest of lava only to end up where we started. I guess there wasn't really another way to do this, though could have spared us a second childbirth in two episodes and about a million tears hugs and touches from Ben and the rest of the gang. Oh Vance, you have been here through and through doing all number of odd jobs, but we're done with you now, C YA! And you hags Zimmer and sanje gupta look alike just get off scott free even though you probably deserved to melt based upon the SHT you put people through. And speaking of melting, I guess you can talk whatever is doing the torching out of turning you into a pile of ash, just talk nice and remind it that you did some good things after all! Oh, and Cal, got pretty tired of your red eyes and furry face so glad you got gone when you did, sadly your equally annoying, crying, red eyed mother Grace is now back with us to melt our brains with ridiculous demands and questions. Oh, by the way Eden is gone, hope you weren't too attached, guess you forgot to grab her too Ben as you were busy grabbing everything else. Speaking of grabbing looks like TJ mourned loss of age appropriate Olive for about 2 seconds before moving on, good show old boy cause her face was tiring and her ability to pull clues out of a parchment and her bee hind (um, look at the slides, not put them all in the reel for friday night slide show party viewing...wth?!) Capt and the other olive lady really didnt mean too much I guess, and shot gun willy and selfish dude got theres in the end, as did freaky glasses lady who let her friend get poisoned (guessing that is reason, so we could see her melt at the end). Oh, and I will remember to keep in mind if my death is imminent that I need to tell grim reaper thing all the good stuff I have done (like anyone remembered who did what....oh yeah, Ben took notes, copious notes) and he will just fall awkwardly backwards and get sucked out an exhaust chute. Always good to have someone with zero piloting skills as your co pilot, just in case . Nice she still had ring, time to break up with it could only be Jared and remembered that Zeke mentioned in passing that he happened to be waiting outside of airport in cab the very night they landed....what are the chances??? Oh,, just sit in front, raid his secret salty snack stash and freak him the hell out with all you know about his world, he is bound to love you!

Lets see, good to see stroke man grandpa running around again, young Cal, Sanji making up, and Angelina going up in smoke, though really needed something more dramatic after all the crap she put us through. Nice recovery hitting on Martinez ten seconds after Michaela gave your ring back Ramirez, really shows she was your one true love! So we didn't find out what callings were for, why they disappeared for 7 years, why molten lava still allowed plane to fly, why no one had a radio or tv on to find out if end of days was really upon them. (whole death date thing was such a flimsy plot conveyance), why they just let the baddie that attacked pregnant Martinez go, I mean I know this whole show is about forgiveness and second chances but really, that guy was a knife wielding loser and had to go. Ok, so happy to have survived that rollercoaster of a series that was just sooo bad it was good....to find out what the H happened and then move on as I hope all of them do, calling free!!

Ted Lasso: Mom City (2023) Season 3, Episode 11

Stop your damned crying

[9/10 · 6 June 2023]

So sick and tired of these whiners complaining about this show, season 3, not as good, going to give up, wah wah wah. Just stick it cause we don't care for your feeble generalized bs regarding seasons 1 and 2 being so very amazing vs poor season 3 and all the time you can't get back on episode that didn't show enough football, or too much Keeley, or not enough bromance, or Ted, or whatever your very specific personal need may be. It is a show telling a story and either you enjoy the experience, perhaps relate to it and better yet learn from it, or not. On to other things. "Collectively, we've struggled through season three and hoping for a moment of redemption." An example of the hand wringing, pearl clutching "woe is me" comments made, like the show owes you top notch entertainment for a full 55-110 minutes each week. Oooh, episode too long and full of fillers....stfu baby. It is 12 episodes and sadly all this coming to an end and these lovely characters will be history and gone like an old friend from HS you really were tight with for a spell. You both moved on and hopefully good memories remain. Luckily this friend we can visit anytime we want (with paid subscription to AppleTV+ of course) and who knows, maybe it will open us up to meet some new friends.

This episode rocked btw, cept Jamies over the top crying and hugging Roy at beginning, not thinking Jamie would ever do that with anyone (though after seeing him cleave to his mum maybe he would). Odd Ted would treat mom with such contempt from the get go, but guess that played off what was to come at end, mad at her for holding it in? Don't know as she deserved the F bombs landing on her either but I guess they had to make a point, Ted was serious. Beard really told a beautiful story after Ted revealed end of Nates break in video, so very clever is he in helping set up the chance to forgive (not forget). Rebecca has some ammo for miserable Rupert, love her telling Keeley the tale of the non kiss, and Roy making his presence felt...keep you stan and ship people happy. Jamies childhood room perfect as the posters tell the tale. Guess I missed youve got mail, not sad about it. On to finale, don't tell me what happens! Thanks.

Ted Lasso: Sunflowers (2023) Season 3, Episode 6

don't give many 10s

[10/10 · 5 June 2023]

But this one certainly deserves it as everyone somehow manages to take a crappy situation and find their way out of it. It also was a bit of a travelogue for Amsterdam which is ok as well, gave Jaime a chance to show off his tour giving skills as he becomes the teacher and Roy the student (though a bit unreal that he couldn't ride bike...I can see swimming but..) Perfect use of BJ Thomas song Raindrops, borrowed from Butch Cassidy and on par with their other excellent song choices. Rebecca house boat scene was amazing, though seriously would have looked for phone (and definitely not thrown mine in intentionally!). Higgins and Will the ball kid have a perfect night in the jazz club in the red light district (mr innocence even gets in on a threesome if you can believe it!) Ted has an out of body experience after finally agreeing to drink tea and finds the beauty of Vincent (awesome speech by the docent, truly) triangles and home cooking, such a fun parody and soooo many O rings!

Colin and Trent figure things out, guy really is some kind of cool and shows stereotypes of gay bars, hookers and hookahs is not what makes that city shine. It took the boys a bit of time to come together, and though a night in Amsterdam was wasted they had fun with their pillowfight and took the bus scene the next day to another level, as did they all. Every little thing is gonna be alright indeed.

Wrong Place (2022)

never given a 1 before

[1/10 · 26 May 2023]

But this sad piece of cinematography deserves it and less. I cannot blame Bruce, in fact he is the ONLY reason I chose to watch, somehow managing to stay till the bitter end. It starts with bad camera work, unbelievable dialogue poorly delivered and the most atrocious editing and sound to top it off. It did seem like a joke having this former police chief guarding a pawn shop (15 minutes were him changing his calendar, watching googly eyed cat clock and smoking stogies) and the big baddie trying to find out if there were security cameras with a big axx wound across his cheek still...yeah, trust him to deliver important papers to the bank for you Chico...wth?

Daughter who we never meet in beginning even though she is diagnosed with cancer and causes parents to drink heavily to deal with it (with some loud background music drowning them out) Now the baddie follows Bruce home though the ever cautious former police chief doesn't notice the tail down back roads of Alabamee and now the real fun starts. Get on the floor, now get up, get down, should I shoot you, maybe, no, just tie you up. Shoot the current but unsure chief but he rises from dead, shoot, choke, cut, strangle each other a while, no one seems to want to die so why check to see if anyone is dead. Wait, did you shoot 5 bullets or 6 out of your 38...and twitching hand as you shoot always improves accuracy btw. Some quick and poorly executed CPR will save the day, so just send 3 police cruisers , no problemo. Sorry Bruce, I really wanted to see you shine, really I did cause you have been in some great movies, one tough SOB and cool to boot. That is how I will remember you.

The Little Things (2021)

the little things indeed

[3/10 · 22 May 2023]

Like having a plot that makes any sense, why Rami has such an overbite that makes him look like a bad guy no matter what he does, like WHAT THE H HAPPENED TO THE WOMAN JOGGER?, or who gets in a car with suspected murderer and drives to the middle of nowhere and just starts digging with a magically appearing shovel. Nothing more exciting than sitting in a car on a stake out...like fishing for hours with no bite Joe says. Oh, yeah, let him know you are there then arrange to honk 3 times if you need me, WT actual H? So if you like movies with no apparent ending, inconclusive evidence, flashbacks poorly lit and dumb people leaving car door open while going to closed gas station for safety then running out scrub brush only to be almost run over by trucker then this movie is for you. Most emotion Deke showed is when he kicks the mulch at his old home disgusted the guy who replaced him is a better landscaper. Why again are they breaking into guys apartment? Why did you dig umpteen frigging holes in dirt clearly untouched? Why no justice for the jogging woman and her family? More questions than answers, but at least the ol dog gets a pat in the end.

Zeros and Ones (2021)

if the shoe fits

[1/10 · 8 May 2023]

I am not sure how this was chosen having just wrapped up The Mandalorian season 3, but the one saving grace for this train wreck is that it is relatively short. Still that is 118 minutes of my life I cannot retrieve which I may wish I had spent differently one day. I don't read reviews of books or movies first as I DESPISE spoilers or anything that gives a hint of what is to come. It is the discovery of new places and characters that makes movies fun in the first place. Sadly the only discovery I made here is of fuzzy jumpy handheld images of nothingness, more images of busses chugging to and fro like they were the GD lead character somehow (which of course hasn't happened since Speed or The Gauntlet, another unbelievable stinker) Drone goes down river to where?? What are we looking at ffs? Where is your brother? Why is he reciting the constitution? Why don't they shoot him and shut him the F up? What are you looking at from rooftop? Why can't the kid talk? What were the Russians up to? Why did this movie have no point? This is the last time I have leading character break 4th wall before movie starts to try to convince me it is a work of art because that is all the sign you need to click away, find a back up plan and live to fight another day.

The Mandalorian: Chapter 24: The Return (2023) Season 3, Episode 8

faceless not fearless

[4/10 · 8 May 2023]

So after having slogged through another season of bad mandalorian dialogue and dubious motivations I have come to realize it is hard to care about these faceless stoic tools. Seriously, has there ever been a successful franchise that never showed emotional reaction to circumstances thrust upon them? Even the cg Avatar blue crew knew how to grimace and cry ffs. So very many inconsistencies made it hard to trust this show as well, from jet packs that don't run out, to pink dancing super pole wielding goons who can't kill squat, to seemingly clueless babbling Grogu turning referee then guardian and eventually savior (after the all important death wand is unceremoniously crushed by "and my clones would have been the best ever with force and everything if it weren't for those meddling kids" Giddeon) Let's send the whole troop down then not need them, after of course hiding in the garden gray beard has been nurturing while not aware the almighty forge area had been turned into a frigging factory and base for baddies. So no, dont care about these people or their plight, or the hammer wielding armorer, who made her boss? Stay behind me Grogu, we need to watch our backs"...yeah, after he just saved your beehind, seriously, wimpy simpering mommy whilst owl face (who fails to use mighty weapon till end only to have it crushed like a toy, whatever) at least gets the job done. I am not sure who will be watching another season of this, maybe just to see androgenous she thing scientist killing spy slapped around for its transgressions, that is the way.

The Mandalorian: Chapter 18: The Mines of Mandalore (2023) Season 3, Episode 2

written for 4 year olds?

[2/10 · 3 May 2023]

They haven't seemed to find an audience for this story without a plot so have made the dialogue so incredibly childish (mandalorian need to know navigation so not get lost ... burble cute face duh) You have amazing worlds, an all too tiny spaceship, visit to home planet (or near home which is never explored) not important droid since you gave up on getting last one...spelunking?? Add to it just slow motion stroll down long entrance to see pal just lounging on granite throne not reading, eating, or doing much of anything. Clearly hates you for stealing her sword, tells you where healing waters are and you walk into the untested air with helmet making vador noises though unattached, no gun or sword drawn, unprotected precious Grogu in tow for no apparent reason then get jumped by goons as you try to figure out how exactly to kill them. Lets just use all our weapons to keep fanbois happy, then continue slow walk to capture while Grogu saves the day by getting real Mandalorian to kick some ass. Of course she used to rule this place and had nothing better to do but visit the old stomping grounds, telling tales of jedi pals and, wait, more goons, dispatched with ease w out super sword. Rescue successful, more bad dialogue, more Grogu gurgles, grunts and groans (like psycho chicken, talking a lot but not saying anything) Guess I will step into the healing waters on this stupid, pointless, dumbass quest to redeem myself in the eyes of ...whoahhh, sunk like a stone and without jet pack, what was he thinking? Two rescues in 5 minutes, are you serioius?? Another slow walk through the old neighborhood, good thing you brought your healing water container since you forgot everything else, like ability to sense danger, tracker, tools with which to escape, clever things to say except "this is the way" . Yeah yeah, we get it, now try to get out and ho ho ho, the old droid slides around the spaceship trick, how funny, but twice, three times while we are trying to fight off baddies that came from nowhere for no apparent reason? Again, not sure what the plan is, what the plot is, what the hell is Grogu doing there except selling Grogu dolls. Better to take off your helmet, settle down with the babe and be the lawman Carl Weathers needs for the most democratic and progressive trading post in the galaxy. Would certainly be more exciting .