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Fingernails (2023)
Charmeless and complacent
I love rom-coms and I believe a romance needs charming leads and chemistry to work. Fingernails proves me right, once again. An audience will forgive many things in a romance - even a trite script if the leads have chemistry. Fingernails has an interesting premise alright but the lead cast lacks any kind of vibe or sizzle. They are colder than frozen pasta. The near dystopian lighting does not help either and the super slow burn thing doesn't work here as this is no In The Mood for Love. With due respect. I know all films need a village and a lot of sweat and toil but when one gets caught in the "brilliance" of their concept I guess at times people get complacent. This film is complacent. Which is shocking because it's backed by tall talent.
P.I. Meena (2023)
SLOPPILY WRITTEN & CONVOLUTED
I am loathe to criticise other people's work as a lot of sweat and toil go in but the recent spate of subpar shows shows across platforms have been disheartening.
I thought Charlie Chopra was disappointing (from a Director I regard so highly) but PI Meena just broke my heart - the evident lack of effort in its writing is hard to digest and a criminal waste of resource and opportunity IMO.
In there somewhere lies a story that could have been, but it is crushed under its own sprawling ambition and inability to pull it all in cohesively in a taut narrative which is key for this genre. In a classic case of tell not show, the verbosity is tiring and needless. Meena's character quirks don't land most of the time because the character is just handed some "cool "markers but not vested with authenticity. And as lovely as Tanya Manicktala is, she isn't able to rise above the pedestrian written material.
Once again as is often the case, the writers fail to create authentic workspace dynamics - the way Meena speaks with her Boss is inexcusable, her playing truant and wasting office resources without any consequence or even a slap on her wrist - given that the agency has 2 half baked cases she can't be a star asset really - are just few of the minor points.
In spite of the dark web and virus and terror groups and agencies, the series has a very dated vibe. Meena's constant platitudinal VO is a drudge and gets in the way of the story. The crater-sized and at times improbable laugh-out-loud plot-holes don't help and some of the subplots one could have done without because they do nothing for the story, at all.
Big words are bandied about but protocols and due process (which could have aided the tautness of the narrative) are cavalierly ignored and often there's no context or logic, the series plods on flat as last year's beer with things happening conveniently because they must happen, loose ends flutter in thin air and that climax - don't get me started on the climax. The loose meandering edit really doesn't help.
One's time will be better spent watching Bengali series Indu instead (also on Prime) - made with proper intent and probably 11/3 the budget - it is an engrossing watch.
Charlie Chopra & The Mystery of Solang Valley (2023)
Deeply Disappointing.
I love Naseeruddin Shah and Ratna Pathak Shah as actors but the whole clan in a series on the back of Shah's recent short film at that is a bit much. Everyone seems to be sleepwalking or hamming. Wamiqa Gabbi does. Not have the chutzpah of a leading lady and her erratic punjabi accent appears sporadically. The series feels scattered. The lighting is terrible. The direction clumsy amd disineterested (never thought I will say this about a VB directorial. The BGM is generic - the sound design not that great. VB said in an interview he had Charlie break the 4th wall to make things immersive - probably influenced by Fleabag) but it is never used smartly - WG is no PWB - you need killer timing to ace this.
A disappointing subpar fare overall.
Ki & Ka (2016)
A MASSIVE MISSED OPPORTUNITY
This is a massive case of what could have been. Such a missed opportunity. Finally watched this film (in 2023) . There's so much regression couched in the "progression" and just terribly unhinged character arcs and story development and tackiness in the garb of modernity -and because R. Balki can rope in the Bachchans he will, no matter what - it was such nonsense hook in this story. The love story never really takes off. And a lot of the subplot popups like the maid using the house - such a trope. Kareena looks gorgeous but is shortchanged - Arjun is so terribly miscast - lacks the charm and sunshine. Swaroop Sampat's dialogues are largely meh and so disappointing. Also Balki's Lust Story core idea came from here. I realised. "Sex kiya" i(especially in this socio economic strata) s literally the grossest way to put this thought out there - like what?! I cringed and fast forwarded my way through. 3 stars just for Kareena.
Dahaad (2023)
Mostly solid show
Fashioned after international procedurals Dahaad is a mostly solid show with the leads in good form.
Sonakshi Sinha handles her character with restraint and grace. As does Gulshan Devaiah. Sohum Shah is wasted as a side kick and the messaging via his character is kinda convoluted. The world's immersive but oft seen - because we have seen this often.
I wish the writing was better though. Given that it is Zoya Akhtar and Reema Kagti endeavour - some tropes were shoehorned like the pregnancy pill in the cop station loo or Sonakshi's van rampage at night or even that short circuited hair dryer - just plain random and lazy.
Hiccups and Hookups (2021)
Super Cringe
The whole set up is so fake and designed to be cool it hurt the brains. The sex chatter borderlines unreal and creepy even. The one authentic thing is the use of "macha" - 10/10 for that.
Eternally Confused and Eager for Love (2022)
Eternally Confused and Eager To Be Cool
Didn't mind the 1st episode though the Voice Over thing began to grate (I like Jim Sarbh but the "cool" verbosity really was annoying after the first few times). From Episode 2 onwards the series lost me. Also Rahul Bose plays what's fast looking like a stock Excel character and Suchitra Pillai was being Suchitra Pillai. The execution felt more small town than SoBo except the male lead's home. And in the age of right swipe hitting clumsily on girls at pubs is so day before Finally guys can someone please write better office scenes?! There are some fun moments but mostly predictable. Netflix India keeps churning out substandard content but given who the producers are - expected better.
Bestseller (2022)
Botched up
2 stars for Mithunda but he deserved better. 2 kids avenging their parents death and shame is a great idea but really it ends there. The writing and execution is worse than my nephew's FY film project. Breaks my heart to see this kind of lackadaisical work. The lack of research and eye for detail and therefore respect for the work is inexcusable.
Watched two botched up whodunnits this weekend. This one and Mithya. Sad!
Illegal - Justice, Out of Order (2020)
SERIOUSLY POOR WRITING MESSES UP A SURE-SHOT PREMISE
BREAKS MY HEART TO SEE WRITING BEING GIVEN THE SHORT SHRIFT SO OFTEN WHEN IT IS IN FACT THE FOUNDATION OF A GOOD FILM OR SERIES ILLEGAL ON VOOT SELECT IS ONE MORE IN THAT STABLE
A TRIED & TESTED SOLID PREMISE - LAW CHEEK BY JOWL WITH POLITICS AND MISDEMEANOURS! ALWAYS WORKS. BUT THE WRITING IS SO SLOPPY IT'S WRONG! DIALOGUES ARE EXPOSITORY TO SOME OTHER LEVEL. THE SCREENPLAY IS FULL OF CONVENIENT TURNS AND MAN SIZED LOOPHOLES EVENTS & CHARACTER-WISE THE CHOPPY HINGLISH HURT MY EARDRUMS
BUT STILL IT IA BETTER THAN CALL MY AGENT BOLLYWOOD.
Pourris gâtés (2021)
A feel good sharp cookie cutter
A fun clean film is such a rarity. Is it cookie-cutter? A 100%. But it is a cute chuckle fest cookie-cutter done so well. Thoroughly enjoyed it. The beats are perfect and it coasts along really well with tons of life lessons tucked in without the narrative sagging anywhere.
Spin (2021)
Sticks to the tropes
The film is fairly vanilla and sticks to tired unrealistic tropes and broad strokes but yes it is good to see a brown girl as a Disney lead for sure and I hope this paves the way for better and more nuanced stories.
The Last Letter from Your Lover (2021)
AN EXPENSIVE HALLMARK FILM
It's expensive and has Shalene Woodley and those clothes and locations but man it is so cookie-cutter it gives cookie-cutter a bad name.. Dull!!!!
Dhoop Ki Deewar (2021)
Well-intended. Muddled. Dull.
The show is well intended and has its heart in the right place but the execution is dull and boring and repetitive. The Indian chapter is badly researched. Basic things like Tereko-Meroko is not Punjabi speak should have been factored in and the discomfort of the actors is all too evident - all barring Ahad who is charming. But the Ahad-Sajal calls are just plain flat.
The script tries to pack in too many angles which actually is of no service to the story.
It could have a poignant narrative. Opportunity missed.
Ghawre Bairey Aaj (2019)
Don't touch Ray Classics
A disappointment. Stilted and uneasy. And what's with the weird accents btw plus the long repetitive VOs? Come on! Didn't feel like a Ms Sen film at all.
Bombay Begums (2021)
Missed opportunity
This could have been so much more instead it is full of tropes and terribly shallow writing clearly undermining the audience's brains and lifted scenes from English films. Also Bollywood's inability to write authentic corporate worlds continues with this series where the female top brass are seen marching up and down corridors discussing confidential strategy and every man is bad because every woman is not. Sad!
Disappointing.
Ajeeb Daastaans (2021)
Recycled. Mostly.
The name put me off. Daastaans?! Are we creatively so bankrupt?
Story #1: Saheb Biwi Gangster meet Kalank outtakes meet Johar's Bombay Talkies meet Cobalt Blue? Also Mahie Gill would have been better.
Story 2: Could not watch.
Story 3: Too stretched but solid solid acting by Konkona Sen.
Story 4: Well intended but too rushed and lacked the nuance this story needed.
I missed the fractured silences someone experiences while losing her hearing - Prime's recent Sound Of Metal showed that brilliantly. Shefali Shah and Manav Kaul were lovely though and the world was fresh. The Love Actually inspired climax felt jaded. Having said that - this was the most watchable of the bouquet.
Tuesdays and Fridays (2021)
Somewhere in there resides a nice idea. Maybe?
The film suffers from that classic Dharma hangover which has been the undoer for many in this genre, with Kal Ho Na Ho flashes all over, random songs, weddings, incoherence, unnecessary tracks and absolutely zero London feels.
To be fair - somewhere in there may have been a fresh idea that got caught in the crosshairs of a lot of mindlessness. As a Hollywood writer once said - in a rom-com focus on the leads as 2 hours is too short a time, here they were focussing on the whole village.
The production value is so dismally subpar I can't believe this is a Bhansali Productions product.
The leads deserved a better written and executed film and well-etched characters.
Having said that - it is much better than a lot of trite stuff dished out by Netflix India. And it has no unnecessary cuss words or explicit scenes. That was refreshing.