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Reviews
Kong: Skull Island (2017)
Misguided and offensive
The more I think about this film the more offensive I find it. A bunch of so called renowned professionals discover an island and as soon as they see a large ape their immediate instinct is to kill it. It never occurred to these so called scientists that this ape might be alone and once eliminated there might not be another. Besides what gives humans the right to storm into an island and try to eliminate another being simply because it is not human? If you feel your life is under threat you simply back away and accept that you just don't have the automatic right to occupy every single corner of this planet at the expense of anything else that doesn't look like you. What a bunch of yellow bellied cowards.
On that point will Samuel L. Jackson ever move on from playing the same irritating gun-trotting violence loving thug - aka the same menacing act first seen in Pulp Fiction? It's all getting rather tiring.
The only reason I gave this film 4 stars is the fact the Tom Hiddleston is great to look at. A welcome distraction from the awful plot. Will someone finally see sense and give this guy the role of next James Bond?
Eo (2022)
Repulsive
This film makers are keen to remind us of the need to be kind to animals, yet throughout this depressing and joyless tale we witness the poor donkey being beaten up, abused and eventually lead to slaughter.
In addition to the animal cruelty we also had to endure a peculiar scene where a truck driver, totally out of the blue, gets his throat slashed, seconds after making a sex joke with a woman. And don't even start me on some of the scenes filmed in red and black: very strange to say the least.
I wonder what sadistic brain came up with a depressing film with such a horrible ending. I have a list of black-listed films that I have no intention of ever watching again. This has just been added to the list.
White Christmas (1954)
Probably my least favourite Christmas film
I fail to understand why White Christmas is still regarded as a classic. The storyline, about 2 ex-army men who team up to perform a Christmas show at a ski lodge, is hardly interesting, engaging or even festive.
I've watched many classic Christmas films in my long life including Elf, Home Alone, It's a Wonderful Life, Miracle on 34th Street, Polar Express, and A Christmas Carol, to name a few. They are all way superior, entertaining and festive, whereas White Christmas is saddled with a weak plot that just never gets off the ground. Why is a show about putting on a show regarded as entertainment is beyond me! The whole plot in fact is so tedious I find it hard to maintain any interest every time I try to watch this. It is a truly boring snooze fest.
I guess it probably means a lot more to those who grew up watching this from a very young age. I am also guessing it means a lot more to Americans than anyone growing up or living outside the USA.
As for the title White Christmas, I think the makers should be sued under the Trade Descriptions Act. There's hardly any snow to be seen until the last few minutes. Unless 'white' actually means something else. Just saying.
Dýrið (2021)
Another pretentious piece of arthouse cinema
I despair at what passes as film entertainment in the 21st century. This is a bizarre and joyless tale about a couple adopting a baby lamb as their own. I won't bore you with the details as you've probably read about them elsewhere, but all I can say is that it soon descends into madness with the last five minutes being particularly weird, depraved and totally unsatisfying.
No doubt this is the kind of film that will have all the pompous movie critics cooing all over it and bestowing it with full stars.
There is also some debate on whether this is a horror film or not. I wouldn't exactly describe it as a horror film. More like a horrific one.
West Side Story (1961)
Dated
Great songs and beautiful choreography but why is a story about gangs stabbing or shooting each other still regarded as entertaining this day and age is beyond me. I detest watching decent characters like Riff meeting their deaths - there's enough of all that violence in real life - but then again that is my own point of view. A film not to my taste.
Spencer (2021)
Anti-Diana propaganda
I don't understand the praise heaped upon this film. It goes out of the way to portray Princess Diana as a neurotic bullimic with deep psychological issues. It totally ignores her good nature, sparkiling personality and all her valuable contributions to so many good causes including numerous charities. Kristen Stewart looks nothing like Diana and even the way she talks - too fast and too jittery - feels like an insult to the late princess. I am sure it was made purely to show the Windsors in good light to pave the way for Charles to become a King. Utter travesty.
Uncle David (2010)
Horrid and immoral
Creepy, camp, effeminate uncle with about as much sex appeal as a cockroach, has incestious affair with his nephew who has learning difficulties, while persuading him to commit suicide. Probably the worst film I have ever seen.
No Time to Die (2021)
I'LL GIVE THIS ONE A MISS
I'm most grateful to some of the reviewers who warned us about the ending. The idea of killing off James Bond is totally proposterous. This is the first James Bond film I will be giving a complete miss.
Forrest Gump (1994)
Too downbeat
I saw this when it first came out way back in 94. I wasn't too thrilled with it but thought to give it another go in case I saw it in a different light. I was rather disappointed.
I felt the storyline was meandering and a touch too long. I also found the fact that the two women in his life died on him, first his mother and then his wife, both from falling ill, rather unimaginative and very downbeat. I don't generally enjoy films featuring cancer deaths so will not be watching this again.
Tom Hanks is a brilliant actor and has done much better work that didn't receive the same praise - but this doesn't surprise me. The Oscars are particularly well known for their dubious choices for best film.
California Suite (1978)
Dated and unfunny
I kind of enjoyed this when I first saw it in the early 1980s but it hasn't stood the test of time.
The Richard Prior / Bill Cosby bickering storyline is painfully unfunny. Who laughs at stepping over broken glass and other physical accidents these days? These two make even the Mr. Bean movies look like masterpieces.
The Walter Matthau plot where he wakes up with a comatose call girl in bed was just dull and painful.
Maggie Smith, (looking particularly young), flying to LA for the Oscars with her bisexual hubby Michael Caine is the only plot worth watching. The Alan Alda character is also quite likeable. Hence the three stars for those three characters.
Dream Boy (2008)
Wasted 90 minutes of my life I'll never get back
This starts off promisingly as a sweet love story between two inexperienced young men, then disintegrates into a horror story with a confusing and tragic end.
The last fifteen minutes are particularly terrible. I am baffled as to why the two leads who are shown as reserved and cautious throughout the film, would suddenly engage in a sex act while their straight mates are roaming next door! Then one of the allegedly straight, butch guys ends up raping then bludgeoning Nathan (the lead character) to death. Now why would a butch, straight guy engage in a sex act with another man? It suspends disbelief.
I've been renting a lot of independent LGBT films like this for a while now but I'm quickly becoming sick of the poorly written stories that almost always end tragically with the lead character dead. I will drastically scale back watching LGBT movies all together unless they have a comic angle. It's the only way I will be guaranteed a gay oriented film with a happy ending for once.
Meet the Fockers (2004)
Superior to the original
A highly watchable and entertaining comedy. It is also better than Meet the Parents which I found too cruel and cringe worthy with elements of bullying (such as the endless ridiculing and name calling levelled against Greg Focker, around the swimming pool netball scene).
This one also has the added bonus of Barbra Streisand and Dustin Hoffman, both of which deliver great comic performances. Robert De Niro is also funnier and more likeable in this one as he has enough 'opponents' to bring him down a peg or two.
Film critics and many reviewers should just accept that a lot of sequels are a great improvement on the originals, end of.
Inxeba (2017)
Good going until the end
South African drama about a gay young man Kwanda who gets initiated into a mountain camp by his father to toughen him up. He gets assigned to Xilobi another closeted gay man who is having a secret romance with another called Vija. Complications arise between the three.
The story is engaging and promising enough until the end when Kwanda stumbles onto the other two having sex. Xilobi leads him to the edge of a cliff and pushes him off.
I fail to see what this story is trying to prove or convey. I guess it's down to personal taste as I have a particular loathing of bad endings or stories that end in violent death when the makers could easily have opted for a very different outcome.
The DVD (which I am glad to say I rented rather than bought) also includes an interview with director John Trengove who fails to explain why he opted for such a sick and twisted ending. One film I will never be watching again.
A Moment in the Reeds (2017)
The curse of unsatisfying endings hits again
I had high hopes of this film: A Finnish take on the excellent God's Own Country.
However we get treated by yet another open-ended unsatisfyingly negative ending.
Why is it that so many modern film makers think it is 'artistic' to end movies with so many questions unresolved? Do they run out of money halfway through the project or do they expect viewers to draw their own conclusions? Sod the praise and awards - to me this is a 'watch once only' film.
Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018)
Disappointing screenplay
I enjoyed the original 2008 film. This one was quite weak in many aspects. The constant move from the present (Amanda Seyfried) to the past (Lily James) really did my head in. It just stopped the plot from flowing nicely, but then again what plot? Who am I kidding? A weak and pointless sequel.
Leave No Trace (2018)
Enjoyable..until the end
I was enjoying this movie. The relationship between father and daughter was moving and heart-felt......Then comes the ending. What was that all about!
What is it with so many of today's films and their obsession with negative, sad, unhappy endings? They really are the bane of my existence?
The father had a number of opportunities to get help with his PTSD condition. Instead he ends up abandoning his loving daughter. How selfish. It also gives a very negative message that there is no hope for PTSD sufferers.
Disappointed.
The Revenant (2015)
Violent and sadistic little tale
I don't get the need for so much graphic violence. We are subjected to a couple of prolonged and very graphic bear attacks, both on the same character, then his son gets brutally stabbed in front of his own eyes while he (the father) is in too much pain and agony to do anything about it ... I could go on! I can only conclude the director is the sort of person who enjoys torturing little animals for fun.
Apparently it is set in the 1820s - a fact you could easily miss unless you read the reviews. Great scenery but that's just about it.
Serial Mom (1994)
One of the worst movies I have ever seen
This is a terrible film. I find the idea of killing a number of people in the most gory way imaginable and dressing it up as humour, thoroughly offensive. But then again this comes from twisted weirdo John Waters - so why am I surprised? Serial Mom makes Police Academy 7 look funny. One to completely erase from your memory.
Get Santa (2014)
Great movie with a difference
Nine year old Tom discovers Santa and persuades his sceptical dad to help him get back to Lapland. Jim Broabent is very entertaining as the naive and bewildered Father Christmas.
This is refreshingly British and a great addition to my annual must see festive films. One of the best Christmas movies ever made.
It is also way superior to over-rated schmaltz such as 'critics favourite' White Christmas (1954). Personally I had more fun watching paint dry.