milesjohnson-45855 Reviews

Lone Wolf McQuade (1983)

Precursor to Walker, Texas Ranger

[10/10 · 9 June 2023]

Holy cow! What a movie. Chuck Norris and David Carradine put together an amazing "spaghetti western" set in the badlands of southwest America.

Chuck Norris' McQuade character set in 1983, easily performs as the precursor to the Walker Texas Ranger many viewers are comfortable with. In fact, the movie smoothly showcases the attitude and natural character development of the Walker character that we all came to love in the mid 90s.

The inclusion of Carradine as the main bad guy was a genius touch, as many viewers familiar with him at the time, recognized him as a martial arts guru. Combining his acting skills along with the martial arts skills of Chuck Norris was a special blend of excitement.

This is a must watch for anyone wanting the feel of a "Death Wish" movie, yet with finesse and and Southwestern flair.

Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022)

Watch with subtitles

[1/10 · 26 March 2023]

Luring the viewers in with the only (not exaggerating) Americans in the movie, the first five minutes appear to be somewhat intriguing if not predictable. However, the first five minutes are the only bright spots in the movie and don't even involve much action at all. That takes us to my next three favorite things. First up is the fact that everyone has a British accent underneath their fake American accents. Once you hear it you cannot un-hear it. I had to turn on the subtitles to understand our main male character asap.

My second favorite aspect is the incredibly bad CGI/SFX. It hurts your eyes. Incredibly noticeable from the start, it only gets worse. I guess this is what happens on a shoestring budget film done in the UK while LARPing as a southern gothic slasher.

Third... the original JC films took place in Poho County Florida. This most recent and hopefully last iteration takes place in Louisiana. I get that these two states could be mistaken for neighbors if the producers and writers were from England (oh wait, that's what happened) so the fact that despite the travel time from Orlando to New Orleans is 12+ hours, we are given a movie that treats them as next door neighbors.

I'm sure I could include more issues with this film like the fact they couldn't afford the original recording of the famous JC song and made use of some modern day cover and pretended it was from the prohibition era. But overall, if you are a horror fan with a painful wish to see bad movies through to the end... enjoy it kiddos :)

Mean Creek (2004)

"Bully" on water

[9/10 · 28 January 2023]

I'll keep this short. This is an absolute "watch multiple times" movie. Every time I view it, I leave with a different opinion. But at the end of the day, the beauty lies in how the Director wants us to view George. The Director wants us to view George as a scum bag due to the fact that George zooms in on the young girl's inner legs during her Truth or Dare kiss. Signifying that the agonist is beyond reproach. Yet by the end of the movie, George's character is allowed the luxury of explaining his ill-gotten mind/behaviors in a sympathetic fade away as the protagonist is served a dish of shame from an onlooking detective/LEO. Many will say that the movie is rushed in the 3rd act, but I appreciate the Director's commitment to masking his viewer question what they know and believe after every viewing.

Dexter: New Blood: Sins of the Father (2022) Season 1, Episode 10

Rivals Ozark for worst finale ever

[1/10 · 17 September 2022]

I really wanted to write a detailed review about how the final 2-3 episodes of Dexter insult the viewer and immediately make fans wish they never partook in this misguided reboot. But that requires more effort than the writers put into the final few episodes of this series. As Ozark showed us, one of the quickest ways to create disinterest and resentment among your fans is to make the protagonist and other main characters act completely out of line with how they have behaved for several years. In this finale, Both Dexter and his son decided to act in ways they never have before. This fact, combined with the constant existence of plot holes plaguing the final few episodes makes this series truly hard to watch.

The NoSleep Podcast (2011 Podcast Series)

Brace Yourself...

[10/10 · 30 October 2020]

David Cummings and company have executed the absolute best podcast that can be found. As an early listener that watched and listened to this podcast grow up from its roots as a fun reddit offshoot to the entertainment juggernaut that it is today, Cummings has turned it into an incredibly layered product with the talent to match it's importance.

The No Sleep Podcast is an anthology series based in horror and the macabre, with a touch of speculative fiction that will absolutely entertain the listener for hours. With a meticulous filter that only selects the most chilling and intriguing stories to tell, No Sleep combines these tales of terror with a voice cast that is made up of the best actors in podcast recording today. Complimenting the stellar cast of voices and spooky tales, is the music and SFX work of Brandon Boone. His eerie sound aesthetics create the moods that invite the listener into a rapturous, but slightly dangerous delight. The production values introduced by Producer Jeff Clement incorporate the SFX, Music, and superb Acting skills all together into a frightening Symphony of Shock.

For beginners dipping their toes into the realm of horror podcasts, this is the only place to start and finish. But if you do, remember only one thing... There Will Be No Sleep.

Jasper Mall (2020)

Low frills documentary

[10/10 · 30 October 2020]

Documentaries like "Jasper Mall" are why I initially started getting into watching docs. No voiceovers, no thematic soundtrack, just pure cinematography and story telling. This doc creates heroes and people you want to root for just by showing their day to day lives. For someone who grew up with their local mall being their "go to place" as a youth, this brought back both memories and sad realizations. The Jasper Mall has its glory days in the 90s and early 2000s, and many of the people who work there now were around for those days. There is held out hope that somehow with the right store, department, or entertainment, the glory days will come back. This doc is admirable, sad, and hopeful. The director did a great job in letting the story play out, accompanied by savvy camera work. Half way through I found my self wanting to take a road trip down to this mall just to purchase things from the people showcased. There is something simple and poetic about the plight of middle class America, and this puts it into portrait form. I know that several malls across America are experiencing their own "Jasper" reality, but the key to a great doc is getting the audience to care about the subjects. That being said, goal achieved. Anyone wanting a stirring and nostalgic trip down memory lane that becomes a real slightly sad real world story, this is a perfect doc. Don't waste your time on Tiger King, this is real America.

Big Love (2006–2011)

Perhaps the best show on TV

[10/10 · 17 May 2020]

I don't want to spoil anything. This is one amazing show. There aren't many of any shows out there they are better done than this.

The Pretender (2019)

Uplifting and Fun

[10/10 · 12 May 2020]

This is a great film for any Stallone fan or anyone in general that has had cinema make a positive impact on their life. Mike is a great subject to capture on camera and the documentary flies by very fast, even for its short length. It was great to see how his loved ones embraced his passion and learned to accept it for what it is. At the end of the day Rocky makes Mike strive to be a better person and obviously has grounded him and provided great enjoyment to him throughout his life. And what's wrong with that? The film wraps ups nicely showcasing some of the joy that Mike has been able to bring to others, that Rocky brought to him. That's what it's all about.

Zack Morris Is Trash (2017–2020)

We Never Knew

[10/10 · 16 April 2020]

To everyone that originally watched this show in the late 80s into early the 90s, we grew up thinking that we had to be a Zack Morris. If it was going into middle school, we had to be like Zack. If it was high school? Then we better be like Zack or at least Slater. As much as I loved this show, it pretty much said that we were only a success if we could be like Zack... enter "Zack Morris is Trash". For the first time, especially for Millennials, we have someone breaking down the false facades we had constructed of what it was to be a successful teenage adolescent. This show is on point in showcasing and pointing out the horrible things that our favorite teenage protagonist actually did. At the end of the day, Zack was a slimeball. I know that 1989-1993 were different times... but damn. Talk about something that doesn't age well lol. Zack's shenanigans and how he treats supposed friends isn't all that fun after a decade or two of self reflection.

Poolboy: Drowning Out the Fury (2011)

Rolled Bologna Peters

[10/10 · 24 October 2018]

This is Ross Patterson at his best. Anyone who happened to stumble upon this movie, please just relax and stop trying to make sense of it all. Only "The Room" could rival this movie in the number of hilarious one liners and quotes. Pool Boy is a refreshing venture into self aware comedy. The internal story is gripping and full of plot twists, accompanied by audacious tangents that make a Patterson film so enjoyable. Kevin Sorbo once again amazes the viewer that only may know him from Hercules or Andromeda. He easily establishes himself as a character we root for and love despite his shortcomings. Patterson and Sorbo together easily create a movie that is incredibly re-watchable. The movie is even more bolstered by amazing appearances by Alanna Ubach, Bryan Callen, and Edi Patterson. And one cannot count out the amazing into song "Donkey Freedom" by Steel Panther. Overall this is one of the most fun films of all time. If you disagree, then you can't do the things that an elevator can.

George's Island (1989)

The absolute perfect movie for a child or those young at heart

[10/10 · 29 September 2018]

This may be the most perfect movie ever made. Not many movies can blend multiple genres into one succinct film, but George's Island achieves this challenge and then some.

George's Island is particularly special in its ability to combine ghosts, pirates, and pre-adolescent struggles, in such a captivating way.

Beginning with a violent start which sets a serious mood, the introduction of George's grandfather, played perfectly by Ian Bannen, creates a fun setup for this story. Though parts of the movie can be frustrating due to lack of common sense demonstrated by adults, the film never ceases to be fun.

A strong compliment for this movie could be said that it's a seasoned predecessor for early 90s films like Hocus Pocus and Angels in the Outfield.

Have fun with this movie, as you can easily find yourself watching it for many, many years.