colette-97863 Reviews

Miller's Girl (2024)

How on Earth can this dangerous trope continue to be greenlit?

[1/10 · 28 April 2024]

How on Earth can this dangerous trope continue to be greenlit by studios in the 21st century?

How ironic that this was released by Netflix the same week that Weinstein's conviction was thrown out. Obviously dirty old(er) men cannot get over their masturbatory fantasy of being irresistible to young women. Weinstein, Epstein, Polanski, Woody Allen, Prince Andrew, Jared from Subway. Have we as a society learned nothing?

The "power dynamics" allegedly being debated are a farce.

There is no such thing as a "mature" teenager. Mature for one's age? So an 18 year old with the maturity of a 22 year old? The human brain is not even fully formed until age 25+.

Teenagers are vulnerable and should be protected by adults in positions of authority, not victimized. That's precisely why it's against the law for teachers to have a sexual relationship with students in most states regardless if the student is over 18.

If Cairo were 28 (still a gross age difference but one in which her maturity would prevent her from being interested in a man in his 50s) I'd say about this film that Jenna Ortega's acting is flat, great for Wednesday but renders her unappealing here. It doesn't add credibility to Miller being attracted to her mind. I'm usually a huge Marin Freeman fan, but as the ephebophiliac Miller, he's bland, unattractive, and his accent keeps going in and out.

The entire film is a crime.

Foe (2023)

Once it's over, it all comes together

[9/10 · 5 January 2024]

This is not a typical sci-fi, which may account for the low ratings. It's a relationship drama initiated by a futuristic premise. I did read several negative reviews but decided to give it a shot anyway. 30 minutes in, I was hooked. The plotting might come across as slow and the dialogue cumbersome until everything is revealed, but then it all fits together and Prima facie assumptions crumble. The art is not in the unsurprising plot "twist" but in how all of the scenes that precede it build to that moment. I'll definitely be watching it again with open eyes directed to the execution of the story.

Unfriended (2014)

Can't get passed the concept of hanging up

[1/10 · 2 November 2023]

Why don't they hang up? Why do they stay on the zoom talk? I can't get beyond that they all stay on the video call even from the beginning. They have so many other technical explanations for all the other technical glitches but never explain this one persistent issue that is the primary driver for the entire plot. This could have been a really interesting story and a good plot but they never address the reasons why they didn't just disconnect and toss aside the phone or computer and take a bath or something then read or go to sleep. Someone once said, see you tomorrow, but then they all stayed on the call?

The Ex-Wife (2022)

Wow I almost believed the bad reviews

[8/10 · 31 August 2023]

Intense psychological drama with a narcissistic sociopath at its center, lying, manipulating, and gaslighting everyone else for one singular selfish purpose. I have been in a relationship with someone exactly like this, so maybe the negative reviews are from people who have either been lucky not to know that this character is believable or see something of themselves in this psycho.

I have to write 195 more characters without giving anything away, Plenty of twists and turns that I didn't expect, and I'm usually the one to predict even the most unpredictable of plots, so I would recommend this short series.

The Guilty (2018)

Riveting

[9/10 · 3 October 2021]

The only reason I know this movie exist is because I watched the dreadful remake with Jake Gyllenhaal. I suppose I should give that version an extra star just for allowing me to discover this gem!

Even though I already knew the ending and any twists leading to it, I was still rapt by the film. Everything about this tight little thriller is exceptional: Jakob Cedergren's acting, the camera angles, the color schemes.

If you have watched the remake, you owe it to yourself to see the original and then you all understand everything they got wrong over at Netflix - and they use the majority of the Danish script verbatim! It's just the junk they added to this minor masterpiece that ruined it, like putting lipstick on the Mona Lisa.

The Guilty (2021)

Why did they make Jake Gyllenhaal such a jerk?

[4/10 · 3 October 2021]

The problem with what is essentially a one-man show is if that man is not likable, the show falls flat. This is not about Jake Gyllenhaal's acting (unless this was just his interpretation) but how his character was written. He is such a complete ass that not only is it difficult to sympathize with him but it defies credulity.

When we meet Joe, we find him working a 911 emergency phone line in Los Angeles after being put on desk duty for the LAPD for some incident seven months before. We soon learn that he is scheduled to have a hearing of some sort the next day and expects to be back on the streets after that.

How is it that after working this job and knowing his colleagues for seven months he can still be so belligerent? I actually found it to be the least believable aspect of the film and it kind of ruined it for me.

Then I discovered it was a remake of a 2019 Danish film, and so I watched that on Hulu (with subtitles). Oh my gosh it is SO much better!

Perhaps I noticed this more because I had also use closed captions on the American version, but I was amazed how they used the majority of the script from Denmark almost verbatim! Some of the changes made a lot of sense, such as adding the complication of the wildfires because the LAPD has far more resources available than would the Copenhagen PD. The wildfires were a clever way to get around the use of helicopters, etc. Like how filmmakers always have to give a reason characters can't use a mobile phone.

Other changes just didn't make sense, and they were all about the character of Joe (Asger). They made him into a misanthropic brute from the beginning, which may have been to add credibility to the rest of the plot but was overdone, and the original proves it wasn't needed at all. The added interaction with his wife only made him seem like more of a jerk. Also, why did they give him asthma? Was that supposed to make him more sympathetic? No one I know with asthma would behave the way he does.

I would recommend that you watch the original from Denmark instead of this remake, but if you decide to watch both, be sure to watch that one second or you'll find the Jake Gyllenhaal version even more insufferable.

Ted Lasso: Rainbow (2021) Season 2, Episode 5

THIS is what the dreadful "Christmas-in-August" episode could have been

[9/10 · 22 August 2021]

If viewed back to back (which I do not recommend because I do not think anyone should ever watch the previous Christmas episode) it's demonstrably obvious the difference between tender meaningful optimism versus the nauseating regurgitated holiday treacle of 2.4 (unironically entitled "Carol of the bells" - I am heartening to understand that it was a last minute thrown together episode and not evidence of the series jumping the shark).

The differences between Rainbow and the horror holiday episode?

This episode has character development, plot advancement, continuity, humor, intrigue, and good music!

Ted Lasso: Carol of the Bells (2021) Season 2, Episode 4

Perfect for a diabetic coma

[1/10 · 15 August 2021]

Overall I thoroughly enjoy Ted Lasso and its/his "aw shucks" corny optimism (esp in these ~unprecedented~ times) but this episode just pours sickeningly sweet corn syrup over the frosted flakes with absolutely no purpose. The plot of the series is not advanced, any character development is sacrificed for a superficial sprinkle of holiday glitter, and there's not even any football (soccer). Mindless, pointless, meaningless treacle.

Unless the viewer is merely desperate for a cotton candy distraction from the ills of reality or aches with nostalgia for a Before Times fantasy of large holiday gatherings crowded around a kumbaya dinner table back when the world wasn't literally on fire, this Christmas episode -inexplicably aired during the hottest summer in history - is completely skippable and should not be used to assess the series overall.

A rewatching of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer checks both the distraction and nostalgia boxes but with an actual plot, better music, and a much more interesting dentist.

Good on Paper (2021)

Based on her true story - not comedy or romance

[9/10 · 3 July 2021]

This is based on something that actually happened to Iliza Shlesinger (but ladies, I think on some level this has happened to all of us on some level) so it is poorly labeled as a rom-com. If anything it is a drama with a few Funny lines and observational humor. It's also not as sinister as we are at times led to believe because yes, it's real life.

Considering the title and the blurb, it's not spoiling to say that we, the audience, are shown from the very beginning that Dennis is not the person he pretends to be, which Andrea resists because she won't trust her instincts. I think my only real criticism is that we are hit over the head with his obvious deception and cannot understand how she does not see it, but maybe that's the point.

Would Iliza/Andrea have given an authentic "Dennis" a second look? Maybe not, but he never even gave her the opportunity. This is the mind of an InCel.

Rather than the ending Andrea wrangles in the film, Ilza turned her experience into a stand-up routine called "Lying Brian" and a Netflix movie. Well done! There should be a billboard on every highway in the US with his name and photo to warn all women.

Deadly Illusions (2021)

Terrible

[2/10 · 19 March 2021]

I can't believe I had set a reminder for this film on Netflix. The "plot" is such a patch-up job with giant holes. It begins with the premise that Kristin Davis is a successful author who hasn't written a new book in a long time not just due to writer's block but also because she somehow "changes" when she writes. So are we supposed to believe that she's imagining the events that follow? That would make more sense than accepting the preposterous behavior of the characters. Then in the climax everything is retrofitted to try to justify the ludicrous preceding 90 minutes but still doesn't make sense. Also did Kristin Davis chip a tooth? She has a terrible lisp throughout, probably exaggerated by the poor sound quality.

Pride & Prejudice (2005)

Awful interpretation

[1/10 · 9 June 2020]

Anyone who says they like this variation of Pride and Prejudice has never read the Austen classic. The casting is abysmal, the change of setting from Regency to Georgian head-scratching, and the deviations from the action of the novel outrageous. Keira Knightley as an anorexic Elizabeth, Matthew Macfadyen supposedly as a wimpy Mr. Darcy who could barely be expected to manage a McDonald's let alone the vast estate of Pemberley, and why is so much time wasted with Elizabeth twisting on a swing that could have been devoted to furthering the plot? I cannot emphasize enough: Avoid this film! Read the novel, watch the 1995 BBC production, but do not confuse this atrocity with anything resembling Austen.

Sense and Sensibility (1995)

Terrible casting ruins the great potential

[2/10 · 9 June 2020]

Elinor is 19 yet is portrayed by the 36 year old Emma Thompson. If anything, that actress should have portrayed Mrs. Dashwood, the 40 year old mother of Elinor and Marianne. Hugh Grant is a year younger than Emma Thompson, yet this boyish rogue is cast as the noble, moral Edward? No amount of acting can make up for this horrific casting, which ruined the entire film. Kate Winslet and even the 50-playing-35 Alan Rickman are far better suited to their roles but not enough to make this film worthy of Austen. Fortunately the 2008 BBC production is available so that no one need view this revolting exhibition.

The Assignment (I) (2016)

Someone must've lost a bet

[1/10 · 19 March 2020]

Summary: Sigourney Weaver, Tony Shalhoub, Anthony LaPaglia got drunk/high at a party one night and made a deal to find the worst, most preposterous, outrageous script then each chip in $1000, which covered the total production costs.

Zero stars (or one Zardoz)