Eclectic-Boogaloo Reviews

Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)

So IMDB is deleting reviews they disagree with now?

[4/10 · 22 June 2023]

I saw and rated Spiderverse a few days ago. I didn't care for it as it's overlong, too busy, and doesn't give a sincere portrayal of Latino culture.

I come back a few days later and my review was deleted. Shameful and embarrassing. First time in 17 years here i've ever been censored.

Anyway, this is a movie that doesn't know who its audience is. It swears it's not for kids but it has all the kinetic action and visual design. But the story is for Zennials and Millenials. Kids will be left dumbfounded.

The makings for a good animated family movie were all their but fumbled at the end. Spiderverse is a misfire.

Risky Business (1983)

Every once in a while you just have to say, "what the heck?"

[8/10 · 11 July 2021]

So good. Even better than I remembered. Cruise really came into his own in the third act. A real star making role, obviously, and Rebecca DeMornay was stupendous. So hot. How she didn't become a star after this is anyone's guess. Booger. Balki. Phil Collins. Tangerine Dream - love on a train.

At the risk of sounding like an old man, they simply don't make em like this anymore.

Black Widow (2021)

Complete Fail

[4/10 · 10 July 2021]

It's not even a Black Widow movie. It's a two hour long infomercial for the soon to be Hawkeye Disney+ series (ohh, ooh, stay for the post credit scene. Blech.)

The other pudgy Russian girl who we neither know nor care about gets the focus as, of course she's set to be a recurring character on the aforementioned streamer. The other supporting characters are forgettable. Taskmaster isn't even worth mentioning, looking like the illegitimate child of Captain America and one of the Aliens from John Carpenters 'They Live' but without the character development. The action choreography and CGI were dodgy and poorly constructed. The forced humor was cringe, as was the use of 'Smells like Teen Spirit' in a Marvel movie for what feels like the 100th time (can we at least use another Nirvana song please?)

Black Widow is right up there with Iron Man 2 and Thor 2 as the worst MCU movie. Probably the worse.

In the Heights (2021)

What's all the fuss about?

[6/10 · 13 June 2021]

All the things that are wrong with this movie could be summed up by the big midpoint dramatic sequence.

Character drama with celebratory singing and dancing. A dramatic scene where everyone's happy. It's so dark. But LOOK AT THE FIREWORKS!!!

This movie is too long and can't seem to let any drama build for more than 30 seconds before assaulting the screen with smiling faces and singing. I'm Latino so I really wanted to like this. Some of the songs are. Ice. Some of the themes resonated with me. But the music and dance is not strong enough to carry a 2.5 hour movie with no drama and focus.

Favorite scene: the abuela musical number with the flashback (paciencia y fe). Fantastic!

Army of the Dead (2021)

Pretty girl bad!!!

[7/10 · 23 May 2021]

I'm an incel who can't get laid to save his life so I'm going to single out the female characters for ridicule because I secretly want to get in their pants but don't stand a chance.... uhh... what I meant to say was that the movie had a bad story, durr, and it was boring. Yeah, that's my excuse.

Let me do you invalids a favor: stick to watching Cars 3 or whatever it is that you watch because you have no taste in film. Full stop. Leave adult movies to adults.

Thunder Force (2021)

Kept waiting for it to get horrible

[5/10 · 22 April 2021]

Was bad but not the 'From Justin to Kelly' level turd I was hoping for. It was nice to see Octavia Spencer doing something different and just having fun. I felt guilty about laughing at the Jodie Foster stuff. Dumb but funny. McCarthy is as usual a feast or famine performer who just throws stuff out there. Some worked. Most didn't. Jason Bateman stole the film. Old Bay and butter... that is all.

Dolittle (2020)

My kids loved it!!!

[4/10 · 22 April 2021]

Well actually I don't have any kids so who cares. This sucked. Nothing about it felt sincere or earned. It's a patchwork of plot and visual elements borrowed from superior fantasy movies (Pirates, Potter, Narnia, middle earth) that so badly wants to be a franchise starter. It's a fail. You gotta walk before you run.

Ps. And I hate this trend of randomly putting in modern sounding accents and language in period/fantasy movies. 'Hey, you what would be a great idea? Let's put Kevin Hart and Joe Pescis voices in a movie set in 19th century England.' It's so cringe and takes me out of the movie every time.

Doom Patrol (2019–2023)

It's good but the first season is essentially all set-up

[7/10 · 17 April 2021]

There's even a point in the series around episode 13, 12 hours into the series, where attention is called to how indulgent and pointless the series is. They don't really become a full team or heroes until late in the series.

But I highly recommend I at least giving it a try for a few episodes, especially if you're a DC fan and/or a fan of the occult and/or B-movie type of stuff. The show is very wacky and takes a lot of risks. Lots of things you will probably never have seen before. It's unlike any comic book property brought to screen ever.t. You just have to be willing to invest the hours and hours into the story while the writers take their sweet time introducing everybody and everything; like I said in the title: the first season is basically 90% set-up. Also, WB/DC really deserve credit for committing the resources to pull it off. They assembled a talented cast and spent a lot of money on the production and actors. Talent.

Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)

Everybody was Kaiju fighting

[8/10 · 1 April 2021]

Those kats were fast as lightning. In fact it was a little bit frightening. But they fought with expert timing.

Kong vs Godzilla pulled no punches. It was everything I wanted. Loved it. The human characters took a back seat and were btfo (great fatalities) and the two alphas get almost all the attention and kicked butt. Great visual effects and fight choreography. Kong vs Godzilla hit all the right notes in visuals and story. Highly recommend 8/10.

Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021)

A triumphant achievement

[9/10 · 20 March 2021]

Wow. This was a wonderful direct sequel to Man of Steel and BvS and - what I can only assume was gonna be part one of a two-part Justice League film.

I'm not spoiling anything cause the movie begs to be experienced. The 4 Hour runtime flies by. It's such an easy watch. Iswear, I could've watched four more hours of just the nightmare section alone... ugh!!! It was so compelling.

If you you're at all interested in where MoS and BvS were taking these characters, Snyder's Justice League is an ambitious and thoroughly enjoyable step in that direction.

This is the epic and grand treatment that DCs sprawling universe deserves and it'd be a shame if this is where it ends (a good ending but a cliffhanger of sorts. It's meant to have a sequel, like Endgame was to Infinity War).

Bravo Zach Snyder and everyone involved, including the fans who fought to get this film to the screen *clapping*

(And again: Cmon WB. Take my money. Give me more Snyderverse. Please!)

Love and Monsters (2020)

A perfectly average sci-fi movie

[5/10 · 17 January 2021]

It's about as sophisticated as a Twinkie. Oh look another glib protagonist guy who's nothing special but yet still saves the day.... zzz. It's well made but completely lacking in substance.

The little girl who tags along with the generic dude and the guy from The Walking dead is quite amusing and steals every scene she's in but besides that and some of the cool creature effects this movie has nothing going for it.

Again: all lot of "smart" voice over narration that lets you know how clever the lead character is and not much else. It's not a bad movie but really nothing special at all. Not worth paying any amount of money to see in theaters or rent. But if you're looking for a nice bland sci-fi movie thats free... you could do a lot worse than this. It's perfectly down the middle average.

Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

A welcome dose of honesty and positivity

[7/10 · 11 January 2021]

WW1984 wears its emotions and morals on its sleeves, just like Wonder Woman herself, once again played by the lovely Gal Gadot. It's an honest and well meaning film with a positive message. But it's not without its faults.

The action should have been better. It's also too long and has too much talking for a modern superhero movie. If I had to compare it to a superhero movie it would be 'Superman: The Movie" from 1978, though not as good, a film that came out 40 years ago. So WW1984 is not a modern superhero movie, for better and for worse. You could get away with a long superhero movie with much more talking than action 40 years ago. Not so much today. Audiences today are very impatient and jaded, which explains some of the reactions. Maybe it's because I'm older.ll but I'm not jaded and impatient which is partly why I enjoyed it. It's a throwback superhero movie in all the best ways. But I think if you give WW1984 a chance and go in with your expectations in check you'll enjoy it too.

WW1984 is the perfect antidote for our times. A movie that's relevant and sees the best in humanity. It was a welcome escape from our troubled times.

Soul (2020)

Live in the moment

[5/10 · 10 January 2021]

Especially when you're crossing the street. Also find your passion in life and follow your dreams. But also be happy with what you have if you don't find your 'passion.' Those are just three of the themes in this confused movie. And don't even get me started on the tone. Is it a grounded fantasy or is it an esoteric fever dream? No, it's both.

Soul not only fails to be a good children's movie because it has a theme which would be incomprehensible to anyone under the age of 12, but it's also not particularly funny or cute. It's also a poor grown ups film because it's as intellectually deep as a puddle.

It's only worth watching because of how beautiful it is to look at. Pixar did a magnificent job of capturing New York City. And I also adore the design of the afterlife, or whatever it was. This is a bad movie by Pixar's standards

The Boys (2019– )

Very entertaining

[7/10 · 24 October 2020]

Actually entertaining AF - but it like most TV shows if feels unfocused.

I watched the first season, all 8 hours, and I still don't see what the point is besides being asked to spend 8 hours, plus another 8+ hours, plus another 8 hours, following a bunch of scumbags.

I hate that season 1 ended on a cliffhanger. Again, 8 hours of programming and you can't even make a salient point at the end? Seriously? Ugh. Who am I rooting for? And again what's the point?

Look, if I wasn't a grown man with a career, interests, relationships, I'd totally be onboard no questions asked. But I can't justify the investment of time for what the show ultimately delivers.

I was feeling Anti-hero fatigue before I started watching this show and it's not making me feel any different.

It's well written, fun, and original in parts. I was entertained enough through season 1 but not enough to invest in another 8 episodes: Life's too short.

Cuties (2020)

A coming of age movie made for girls....

[7/10 · 13 September 2020]

...that are in the age range that they actually come of age in: 10-13 years old. So in that sense Cuties is both a rare film and an important one (would recommend to parents and their daughters).

It's not as risqué as its made out to be. I was prepared to not even make it through the film, much less like it given all the outrage. Like it was a Lars Von Trier, Larry Clark, or Vincent Gallo movie with 11 year old girls.

Now don't get me wrong, there's definitely some age inappropriate dancing in tight outfits but any normal adult male who can contextualize little girls for what they are, young children, not sex objects, should have little to no trouble sitting through it. Who knows you might even like Cuties. It's a good film and speaks to an segment of the population that is not given these types of stories.

Lucy in the Sky (2019)

The girl with kaleidoscope eyes...

[4/10 · 5 June 2020]

Okay, that's the last Beatles reference. Lucy in the sky is the "X-Men: Dark Phoenix" of "Based on a true story" films.

Sometimes you should just be true to the source material and what made people fall in love with it in the first place. This mission misfired.

The Farewell (I) (2019)

Will subvert your expectations

[7/10 · 5 June 2020]

It was a somber film but left me feeling alive and invigorated.

It was really terrific but didn't explore the potential of the plot. The daughters romantic status and the question of wether she's going to marry or give her Nai Nai a grandchild.

The film is really about the culture clash between east and west as explored by how we choose to treat death and approach life. And it works in that respect. The ending, I won't spoil it, was one of the most poetic and life affirming endings to a film that I've seen in years. I was beautiful. I just wish that the film had more layers, more depth, and had been more enjoyable all the way through. You can only have the main characters remind so and so that "you're not to tell Nai Nai that she's dying" so many times before it gets monotonous.

The Lovebirds (2020)

That was not how real people would have reacted

[6/10 · 29 May 2020]

But other than having to completely suspend my disbelief in the first 10 minutes it was a decent movie. Kumail Nanjiani was amiable enough and moderately funny, as always, and Issa Rae was terrific as his partner along for this wacky ride. It's a solid quarantine date movie.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)

Zack Snyder's flawed masterpiece

[9/10 · 28 May 2020]

BvS is the audacious Man of Steel sequel that WB and Zack Snyder knew the general public didn't want but thought they could sneak by them anyway by including Batman, Wonder Woman, and teasing Justice League. Lucky for the fans, they were wrong. The General Public hated it, but we loved it.

It has a lot of the same themes and is a trial by fire just like MoS only this time, Batman and Lex Luther are the ones playing the bad guy and pulling the strings. You could argue that this makes it redundant to MoS and i wouldn't argue with that. I think its a complimentary piece to Man of Steel. It's the B-side, the Disc 2, of the same Album. It tells a different side of the same story.

While MoS is a movie about an Alien finding his humanity and his place in our world, BvS is a movie about humans coming to terms with their place in a world where they are no longer at the top of the evolutionary ladder. And while in MoS the themes are explored through Clark's point of view, BvS explores them through Batman and Lex's point of view. They represent the part of humanity that doesn't worship this new Superman blindly as a god, but who fear and mistrust the power that Superman has and hates him for the powerlessness that he makes them feel. Again, BvS complements MoS and delves deeper into its core themes.

Unfortunately as I alluded to before, it tries to do all that AND move the DCEU forward AND set-up Wonder Woman AND Justice League. And while I loved Diana/WW/Gal, it was just too much. That stuff along with the Martha scene where Batman is all of a sudden cool with Supes where the only things I disliked about BvS. The Martha scene and friendship happened way too fast and didn't feel earned. Everything else was great.

Some other things that jumped out at me while re-watching were how much more emotionally impactful Superman's sacrifice was at the end. This was because this version of the movie had more scenes between Lois & Clark and scenes of Clark's investigation of Batman.

In general, the plot of the Extended Edition is much more fleshed out. Clearer. Lex's motivation, his plot to setup Superman, Lois' investigation, Batman's revenge journey, Lois & Clark's arc, etc. were all well developed and made perfect sense. The cinematography and score were stupendous. The cast tremendous. Zack Snyder's directing was superb. Gorgeous visuals and jaw dropping action. And lastly, Chris Terrio's script, especially his dialogue, blew me away.

Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw (2019)

A Bimbo

[2/10 · 24 May 2020]

It's got a big chest, is flashy, loud, and has zero substance. It's boring as hell. It wants to be a buddy movie but stars two meatheads who are completely unwilling to do what it takes to make for a good buddy movie. Somebody has to by the straight man and somebody has to be the goofy guy who we laugh at:

Hulk/Thor, Tommie Lee Jones/Will Smith, Jackie Chan/Chris Tucker, Mel Gibson/Danny Glover

Both dudes can't be the bad-ass, good looking, cool ladies man. Somebody has to be willing to laugh at themselves. Not these two ego maniacs.

That's the main problem with this movie: both Johnson and Statham want to be the cool guy. So what you get it two vein meatheads bickering for two hours with no real contrast. Boring.

And then on top of that the bad guy is basically poor Idris Elba, who's given nothing to work with. He's basically a Marvel villain without the cool suit or powers.

Only thing decent about this movie was Dame Helen Mirren, who was great

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018)

Amazing visuals. Spectacularly ponderous storytelling

[4/10 · 12 February 2020]

I wasn't able to make it through the first hour of this movie. First of all - it's a beautiful looking film, one of the best looking animated films I've ever seen. And I also liked most of Lord & Miller's quips. It's pretty funny.

My first problem was that the movie's opening 45 minutes were a cringey diversity checklist (and this is coming from a minority). At least make the introduction of all the characters organic for god's sake. Spider Gwen's intro was one of the most obvious in the history of comic book movies.

Another even larger problem was that the constant interjection of jokes and quips undermined every single bit of drama that there was to be had. I like jokes just as much as the next person but once in a while just let the drama build. Is that too hard? There doesn't have to be a joke every single minute. This was like a Marvel movie on steroids in the absolute worst way. Very disappointing.

Birds of Prey (2020)

Losing the person you've built your whole life and identity around sucks...

[7/10 · 11 February 2020]

That's the point in life were we meet Harley Quinn at the start of "Birds of Prey (and the fantabulous emancipation of a one Harley Quinn)."

Like the above suggests, just in case you're wondering what the heck the movie is about, it's about Harley trying to make a name for herself and find her identity as someone other than Joker's girlfriend after he dumped her :(

That leads her to do some crazy stuff that gets her involved in a crime story that involves a lot of really bad dudes and a few bad chicks, some of whom we'll eventually come to know as the BoP.

The story is pretty straight forward but it's told in a cool non-linear, and yes, Tarantino-esque way. The movie has a great energy and is fun throughout, with a few genuinely LOL moments sprinkled here and there. The performances by Margot Robbie and Mary Elizabeth Winstead, along with the young lady who played Cassandra Cain were the real standouts. I also loved the chemistry between Ewan McGregor's Black Mask and Victor Zsazz ... it was oddly romantic but at the same time not at all romantic. Really weird, lol. And don't get me wrong, they were both scary AF too.

The only things I'll caution against on the negative side are that it's more of a comedy-action chick flick than an out-and-out action movie. There's less big action and less gore than Deadpool, for reference, and it's also not as funny. Props to WB and DC for having the guts to make this movie, though. It's such an odd and original comic book movie in all the best ways. It's deff worth the watch, especially with your SO. And on that note...

MILD SPOILERS:

The SO wants to adopt a Hyena. I want a stuffed badger with a pink tutu. Decision, decisions.

1917 (2019)

An impressive film

[7/10 · 5 January 2020]

It's beautifully made and has just enough action to keep tensions high and tug at the heartstrings, intimately depicting the human cost of war. I got emotional a few times.

I do caution that as a War movie, it's more of a drama than an action film. Sure there's action and suspense, and some thrills, but this isn't Saving Private Ryan or Dunkirk from a visceral standpoint. It's smaller in both scale and scope.

1917 follows a couple of soldiers as they journey to the front line carrying information which could save over a thousand of their fellows soldiers' lives... if they get there in time.

It's in the aforementioned scale and scope where 1917 falls short of being great. The main plot of the movie suffered for not being big enough or feeling important enough. There's no storming of the beaches at Normandy. No rousing Winston Churchill speech at the end. The film doesn't connect the events it depicts into their greater significance in the war. Again, it felt small scale and narrow in scope.

But to reiterate, I very much liked it. It's a lovely film filled with tension and emotion, think Kubrick's Paths of Glory without the 10/10 ending. Great work by all involved: Director Sam Mendes, Composer Thomas Newman, the whole cast and crew.

One of the years best films, probably at the bottom of my top ten.

Marriage Story (2019)

A Divorce Rape horror story cloaked as a dramatic Marriage Story

[7/10 · 2 January 2020]

One of the most sobering and important movies of the year.

A lot of people are dancing around the point of this movie. Why? Let me make this simple: Marriage Story is not about the difficulties of divorce. It's a public service announcement (PSA) story created by Noah Baumbach to warn us of the perils of Marriage, especially as it concerns fatherhood.

Now the following isn't a spoiler because with very few exceptions aside this is how divorce works --

There are no villains in Marriage Story, only two flawed human beings, but make no mistake about it... the wife makes out like gangbusters here, as they almost always do. She basically got everything she wanted and more. She got the Kid, at least half of everything, and essentially made her ex-husband have to relocate to L.A. so he could be a father to his son.

It's a very sobering film that should be made required viewing for all guys. Noah Baumbach did a great job writing and Directing. Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson were both really terrific, though I think that Laura Dern was the real standout in a scintillating supporting role. She totally deserves an Oscar nomination.

The only reason I didn't rate it higher is because it's so simple and straight forward. It's a very well executed, but vanilla slice of life Marriage Story.

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)

The final chapter in the cannibalization of the Original Trilogy.

[5/10 · 25 December 2019]

The only reason i didn't give it less stars is that i liked Babu Frik, D-0, and the the performances from Ridley, Driver, Boyega, and Isaac. They deserved a competent story.