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Reviews
The Killing (2011)
it is long long long
Storylines that go nowhere. protagonists that have no chemistry between them, and why, why do they find it necessary to have the people smoking, smoking smoking adds nothing to the movie seems like the only purpose is to promote smoking by showing it as cool by the characters.
Bloodline (2015)
Ben can't function without a cigarette in his mouth and/or his hand
what is with this show Ben m looks like a walking corpse. He obviously doesn't smoke but in almost every scene they have him putting a cigarette in his mouth which he never smokes what is with that. What is the point. What are the producers trying to do here. I could go on about all the other dumb things like drinking about a bottle of tequila snorting half a pound of coke smoking a load of crack and waking up the next morning and cleaning flathead without a cigarette. not sure what planet these people live on
Taboo (2017)
the new superman
It seems Ridley Scott and Tom Hardy have invented the new superman and his name is James Delaney. James has been away for a long time in Africa but returns to England on the death of his father. Delaney comes back from the dead in Africa owning a piece of the US coastline and about 5000 pieces of some kind of coin. Everybody wants a piece of the US coastline not sure why I've been there and there is nothing to see. Anyway the King and the BEAC are desperate to get a hold of it but Tom is not giving it up. So we have the usual extreme violence and plenty of sex and tons of grime. Tom gets his head stove in by a giant and the next day not a mark or a doctor in sight. Quite ridiculous. nothing new same old stuff sold I guess on the back of the Scott and Hardie names a waste of time.
Le concert (2009)
looked like it would have some basis in fact
when I read the plot summary I thought oh this looks good Brezhnev persecuting the supremely talented Jewish musicians AND punishing the supremely talented MAESTRO who throws away his career to support the persecutees. and for helping them he ends up a cleaner. such a dramatic story full of heartache and desire.
then I find that it is all made up and not very well made up. the makers can't decide if it is a story about persecution and overcoming the odds OR is it some kind of a comedy with the big guy with the beard. quite disappointing really (and I don't like Tchaikovsky).
By the way I don't know who tramky is but he or she is obviously a jackass.
Appointment with Danger (1950)
not a noir
I am sick and tired of every kind of crime movie shot in the 30's, 40's, and 50's that is filmed in black and white being labeled a 'film noir'. This Alan Ladd vehicle is a typical example, one scene shot in a dark alley in the rain and it's a film noir. I don't think so.
It is, in fact a run of the mill heist movie with nothing to recommend it other than watching Alan Ladd (if you are a fan).
The plot is straight forward with no particular twists or turns to create any interest for the viewer.
The fact that it involves postal inspectors instead of one of the usual law enforcement agencies adds no interest, in fact it comes across as an advertisement for the US Postal Service
Jack Webb's performance was the only thing of any value in the movie.
The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
not a real Batman movie
This is a rather boring movie mainly consisting of shoot outs, explosions and other CGIs. It is NOT a real Batman movie. Think about previous Batman movies that you enjoyed there is one thing they have in common - interesting bad guys. Jack Nicholson as the Joker, Danny Devito as the Penguin, Michele Pheiffer as Cat Woman, Heath Ledger as the Joker, Tommy Lee Jones.These were all great actors playing great villains and they made these movies. In this movie there are no interesting villains so it cannot be a real Batman movie. So who do we have in this movie as villains.
1. Tom Hardy playing Bane. He is a very boring villain you can't even see his face (the mask looks ridiculous)and he comes across as a take off of Mike Tyson.
2. Then we have Selena - initially seems to be a villain (Cat Woman type but is never identified as such), wears a mask but her identity is no secret, so what is the point? and turns out to be a love interest and with her martial art skills could have cleaned up Gotham all by herself
3. The two Wall St types and the woman that takes over Wayne enterprises add nothing as villains.
Instead of wasting time watching this non Batman movie take another look at the Dark Knight a much better movie.
Man on the Moon (1999)
believe it or not this is his life
The previous reviewer finds it incredible, not the movie but the man's life. The movie he doesn't have too much to say about apart from the fact that Jim Carey was good in the title role. But Kaufman's life, he just can't believe what he is seeing. How could he possibly get a part on SNL it is unbelievable, how could he get a part in Taxi, it's incredible. The reviewer is so astounded he seems to imply that these things could not have happened. They did happen, he was on SNL, he was in Taxi, he was one of the most popular comedians of the day and he was a genuine eccentric. The movie portrayed the man's life {more or less}and it was a popular and well regarded movie (just ask Michael Stipe).
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (2011)
Too long by about two hours
First of all let me call Lizbeth the Wild Wonder Woman. She is certainly wild with the hair, clothes and stainless steel and she is a bit of a wonder with her ability to take over any computer on the planet. Also all the computers that she takes over belong to people who keep their whole lives on their laptops including their banking records, their life's history,the codes to their accounts in the Cayman Islands etc.It's all there waiting for WWW. Also she has a wonderful relationship with various police forces, all she has to do is walk in and ask for what she wants and she gets it. Certainly a WWW.
Christopher Plummer's offspring disappeared 40 years ago and he has decided that she is dead and not only that but murdered by a member of the family and he has devoted the 40 years to unmasking the killer without result. So he calls in Daniel to solve the mystery.
The problem with this is that there is no reasonable cause or rationale for making this assumption. So you have to see it as a plot facilitator and a poor one.
Daniel's investigation proceeds with Lizbeth's help and seems to consist mainly of looking at old photos.
No divulging of the ending but there is the identification of a couple of serial killers which makes as much sense as Curly did in the Three Stooges. All together way too long and a waste of your time.
2012 (2009)
Is this a comedy or a disaster movie?
I figure that the people who made this movie couldn't decide so they tried to cover both bases but didn't succeed in covering either. Make it a mixture of Airport and Airplane they said so he tried his best but unfortunately included a large dose of stupidity that wasn't in the originals. I thought the scenes with John Cusack driving the limo one foot ahead of the disintegrating earths crust beggared belief. But then I saw the scenes with the plane flying (for some unknown reason) about 100 ft above the ground dodging the collapsing skyscrapers were even worse. The carping second husband role was an overused stereotype that added nothing to the movie and the oft repeated 'don't say I'm a pilot' or words to that effect became annoying. So if you enjoy movies that are 5% plot, 5% acting and 90% special effects then this could be for you. It might help if your taste is all in your mouth (no offense).
The Adjustment Bureau (2011)
it's a shocker
stupid, stupid movie, we have a group of people that include the Chairman (God)and the men (no women here) who make thing go according to plan (the angels). The single purpose of this group is to keep two people apart. To assist them in their undertaking they have their godlike supernatural abilities whereas the two people are just ordinary Americans. Amazingly enough we find that God and his angels are no match for two Americans and so the two people cannot be kept apart. Now it seems that God doesn't care to be thwarted so he or she decides to change the plan so that it is no longer necessary to keep them apart thus ensuring that everything still goes according to plan (the new plan). This change of heart seems to have something to do with a lower level angel although we are not sure how this comes about. This plot is quite ridiculous and an insult to peoples intelligence. It's even worse than the Bourne movies. I guess Mr Damon will do anything for a buck.
The Book of Eli (2010)
a new candidate for the list of 100 worst movies ever made
This movie is so bad, I would seriously consider it as a candidate for this list. I guess the Hillsong people might consider it to be worth watching as a religious tale but looked at simply as a movie it fails because the plot is ridiculous it is laughable. There must be at least 50 million copies of the bible extant in the USA but somehow, after the (unexplained} apocalypse there is only one but that one is not an actual copy, it has been memorised by Eli (this is also unexplained). What happened to the copy that he memorised is also unexplained. Eli gets a message from some metaphysical source (presumably the Christian god) to go west.So off he goes, while he is on his journey he becomes bulletproof and also a killing machine until for some reason he is actually injured and looks like dying but not before he recites the whole Bible to someone who writes it all down (wonder where they got all the paper). Apart from the plot the acting is wooden, the dialog is almost non existent and the characters are not developed so you can't relate to or care about them, Total nonsense, the whole thing and I wasted 2 hours of my life watching it,
The Man Who Cheated Himself (1950)
film noir the most misused tag in films
This is another of the many B minus movies tagged as film noir in the hope of generating some interest in something that is devoid of it. All aspects of the film - script, acting, direction - are mediocre. The acting by the three leads is wooden. I guess John Dall was expected to go places in the movie business but then someone realised he had little talent and therefore ended up doing TV work. Lee J Cobb who is usually terrific cannot rise above the poor script and poor direction. Jane Wyatt is supposed to be a femme fatale but comes nowhere near convincing the viewers. The movie does have two of the strangest looking cars that I have ever seen, the one in which John Dall goes after Lee J Cobb is particularly strange. The DVD transfer is typical Alpha.
The Naked Spur (1953)
not the masterpiece it's made out to be
I watched this movie last night. I read the positive reviews on IMDb and saw the 7.5 rating. I have a number of Anthony Mann movies some of which I liked so I though it would be an enjoyable evening. I was disappointed. Despite the very good cast the movie was mostly pedestrian with nothing to rise it above the western pack. The plot has been used many times - man tracking down another man, meets other people along the way including a romantic interest blah blah blah. The difference is that the man doing the tracking is not the usual i.e. lawman or vengeance seeker, he's doing it for the reward. So there is a difference but it is not turned into something that lifts the movie. Moral conflict, maybe at a minor level This is a failure in the script and the direction. 7.5 no, more like 5.5
Black Angel (1946)
mediocre noir
Don't get me wrong I am a big fan of Dan Duryea particularly in movies like Woman in the Window and Scarlet Street but even he can't make chopped liver into fillet steak. I have read the other reviewers comments and they seem to love the movie big time. One even thinks it's the best noir of the 40s, kind of ridiculous really. I watched it twice because I thought I must have fallen asleep the first time and missed the good parts but the second time around I realsied there are no good parts. It's mediocre at best with poor to average acting. Dan is not the villain he usually is in fact his part does not suit him at all. Peter Lorre has a bit part that doesn't really add anything. The story is kind of dumb - a woman desperately in love with her husband who is on death row and a man so in love with his wife that he can't function in life without her combine to find the real killer and two days later they are in love with each other - give me a break.
Miami Vice (2006)
you would be better off watching the TV show
This movie is so bad it is almost unwatchable. It has nothing to do with the TV series except the director and the names of the two characters. The TV show was about sharp clothes, exotic cars, snappy dialog, the Miami sights and the relationship between Crocket and Tubbs. The movie has none of these attributes. First the movie is so badly lit that for most of the time you can't make out what is happening, even the end credits are undecipherable. Second Farrell and Foxx have no discernible relationship. They seem to mumble most of the dialog, have no on screen chemistry and dress in dark colored clothes like something you might pick up at Vinnies. Third the plot made no sense (what was the Chinese woman doing?) and the action scenes were amateurish consisting almost entirely of automatic weapon fire. I love Mann movies but don't waste your time on this one.
The Departed (2006)
Nearly as good as the original
Some people are saying that the Departed is a blatant rip-off of the original 'Infernal Affairs'. I thought the same thing as I was watching it but then I saw that the debt to the HK movie acknowledged in the closing credits. So you really couldn't call it a 'blatant' rip-off. However, the acknowledgement is kind of buried and easy to miss so you would have to say that it is blatantly inadequate considering that The Departed is almost an exact copy. So, shame on you Marty. Even so it is a good movie with Damon and Dicaprio well cast and giving excellent performances. I get the idea of the Wahlberg character but thought he came over as so far over the top as to be ridiculous.
The Blue Dahlia (1946)
Chemistry? Seen more in a school science lab
Most reviewers comment on the on screen chemistry between Ladd and Lake. I just watched this movie for the fourth time along with the Glass Key and I just do not get it. Sure they are continually making asides and innuendos but I don't see it as convincing. I think the reason is that to me Lake has zero sex appeal, when I look at her I think of a blond Morticia, an ugly blond Morticia. I am sure that in the forties they had a different take on what makes an attractive, sexy woman, but it's hard to believe that Lake fit the bill. Also she can't act worth a damn. The movie is stolen by Bendix and the ending is a surprise because it is not the real ending it was made up to please the US Navy. Also it is not a true noir it is a straight forward mystery and not a very good one.
The Prophecy (1995)
Mostly a very entertaining film but..........
This is an entertaining film. I would put it on a par with the Omen for entertainment value. The film does, however throw up a few interesting ideas about God. First that he would love humans more than angels (seems a bit of a stretch) Of course we are not sure if this includes all humans or just the Christians, probably just Christians as it does seem to be based around the Bible. Second that God allows a war to go on in heaven between angels. Why would this be and how exactly do you kill an angel anyway? Third that while the war goes on heaven is closed but hell is open. Now the devil explains that while heaven is closed all the people that would have gone there remain rotting in their graves, but the Bible tells us that we will remain in our graves until the second coming when we will be called to judgement. Now after watching the movie I don't know what to think.
The Mask of Fu Manchu (1932)
how a white OAP wipes out 1000 orientals
This is drivel really. The script is amateurish compared to what we expect today but may be not so bad for 1932. The acting is bad apart from Karloff who is terrific as usual. Myrna Loy hardly says a word but looks good as always. I have not read the book so I don't know how the movie compares. The movie shows how Nayland Smith who seems to be either the British police commissioner or some thing to do with the Secret Service and who appears to be around 70 years old goes to China or somewhere in the east and almost single handedly wipes out about 1000 Orientals of some kind saving the white race as a result. Long live the Queen.
Phantasm (1979)
you've heard of a B movie, this one is a D.
I have just finished watching this movie on DVD. I bought it because it was rated highly on IMDb and it has spawned a number of sequels, (although when you think of Jason and Freddy that's not such a recommendation) and it seems to be regarded as a cult classic. I thought the one line concept was good - alien takes reanimated shrunken corpses to another planet to work as slaves - but the movie was a shocker without a single redeeming feature. The acting was bad, bad, bad. The script was nonsensical and the continuity, editing and special effects truly awful. The DVD says the runtime is 88 mins, seemed more like 120+ as it goes on and on and virtually nothing happens. I wasted my time so you don't have to waste yours.
The Dark Corner (1946)
Don't waste your time with this one
outwardly this movie has the standard trappings of a film noir. The tough rugged private eye, the beautiful babe, the tough cop with a heart of gold, the images of the cold dark city etc. However when you sit down and watch it you find that it is completely devoid of any features of interest, there are no blind alleys, no twists and turns, no surprises. Everything that happens is signalled well beforehand so you see it coming from a thousand miles away. In addition despite the excellent cast all the characters are one dimensional and you could not care a fig about what happens to any of them. In other words it is down right BORING!
Point Blank (1967)
more holes than a swiss cheese
Although it is in a similar vein this movie is nowhere near as good as the original Get Carter and has more holes in it than a swiss cheese. First the idea that a very large business enterprise (run by the 'Organization') that owns jazz clubs, super swank hotels, large expensive houses (used only for meetings), private planes etc etc, has its top execs dealing personally with a petty crook over a $90000 debt (even at 1969 $$) is ludicrous at best. Also we are led to believe that when the 'Organization' discovers that Angie Dickinson helped kill one of their top guys the boys are sent to wreck her apartment but not a single hair on her head is disturbed (could be the two cans of hair spray she used). Then we see her arrive at the 'Organizations' meeting house in her red outfit carrying only a small purse but the next morning she dresses up in a new white outfit. These are a few examples of the 'holes'. I guess it is a case of style over substance. I prefer a little more substance.
Capricorn One (1977)
This is not good
This movie starts out with a promising premise, a manned flight to Mars is planned but just before lift off there is a problem so it is decided to surreptiously remove the astronauts from the ship and fake the whole thing (of course many people believe this is exactly what happened with the Apollo moon landing but that's a different story). The first sign that this movie going down hill fast is when James Brolin asks Hal Holbrook 'how many people know about this' and Hal replies something like 'only a few' but we have already seen about 75 people involved which later turns into about 750. The second worrying sign is when we realise that OJ has a speaking part. Then Elliot Gould turns up to do his best robot impression. We start to ask questions like how does a car accelerate like it's on a hill in San Fransisco when it's on what looks like a flat stretch of road in Houston with no foot on the gas and why when Elliot Gould is arrested by the conspirators on a fake charge is he released the same night to continue his investigations. Unfortunately this movie has no redeemimg features.
House of Bamboo (1955)
Somewhat mixed up movie about crime in postwar Japan
This Sam Fuller movie set in post war Japan consists of an uneasy marriage between a hard boiled gangster picture about ex GIs who have turned to crime under the military style leadership of Robert Ryan and a somewhat cheesy melodrama about a US soldier falling in love with a Japanese woman, Shirley Yamaguchi and paying some brief lip service to the ensuing cultural problems. The US soldier, Robert Stack is an undercover MP who goes to Tokyo impersonating the friend of an ex GI who has been shot in a holdup. He finds the guy's Japanese wife (Shirley Yamaguchi) and then gets invited to join Robert Ryan's gang. Within five minutes or so Shirley Yamaguchi changes from being distraught about the death of her husband to being madly in love with Stack who of course feels the same way. So Stack and Yamaguchi team up to bring Ryan and and her husbands killers to justice. It appears Fuller tried to cover too many bases with this one and consequently didn't cover any of them well. Robert Stack seems to be impersonating a piece of wood as well as an ex con, Yamaguchi consistently overacts and the script contains a considerable amount of corn. The quite beautiful shots of Tokyo and Mt Fuji almost make it watchable.
L'uccello dalle piume di cristallo (1970)
One of the worst
Under no circumstances should you watch this movie unless you are preparing a thesis on appalling Italian films. I wasted 98 minutes of my life so you can avoid doing the same. The plot is almost non existent and what there is is idiotic. The acting consists mainly of grimacing, sobbing and other making other unintelligible noises together with maniacal laughter and face pulling. Argento may have made later movies that are worth watching but this first effort is decidedly amateurish. Typical of the amateurish script is when towards the end of the movie we see Tony Musante wandering around the city looking for Suzy Kendall, asking people at random if they have seen a girl with long blonde hair, amazingly everyone he asks has seen her and so it goes on to the ridiculous climax. The whole thing is anything but scary, there are no buckets of blood and no nudity.