bbalmd Reviews

That '90s Show (2023– )

Fresh Update With The Same Soul

[10/10 · 28 January 2023]

So glad they didn't ruin this. It's got the same soul as the original but with some fresh new energy.

The original cast is just as good as they always were and thew new kids are absolutely killing it, every one of them.

I like that the new kids aren't just the exact same mould as the original basement bunch and they have their own identities and differences and fleshed out personalities yet they still manage to twist in some fun resemblances to their counterparts from the past.

The show is just as fun and goofy as always and has that original bit of snark and bite mixed in with the occasional meaningful and heartfelt moment done with subtlety and authenticity.

Dirty Daddy: The Bob Saget Tribute (2022 TV Special)

Raw, messy, awkward at times, heartfelt, funny, nostalgic, a great genuine tribute

[9/10 · 25 June 2022]

A lot of people have remarked how awkward and messy some of this is and how some of the people involved seem uncomfortable or socially inappropriate or awkward or even inebriated etc. Etc.... That is precisely what made this feel so genuine to me because it was exactly like a real memorial service. People are ALWAYS awkward and tense or socially odd because death is a very hard thing for people to cope with and share on the same level.

SO yeah, this was not a perfectly scheduled, timed, and choreographed big budget show. Instead it was raw and real and messy and truly felt like a whole big bunch of people coming together to celebrate someone who meant a lot to all of them.

Black Crab (2022)

A very long walk to nowhere

[4/10 · 21 March 2022]

I made it through the movie enjoying the build up of questions, suspense, and intrigue wanting to know more and figure out what is going on and how things will play out etc.... but it literally never delivers ANY of that. It sets up countless questions and mysteries and doesn't even attempt to address a single one of them.

I get the idea was a mother finding the one last way she can protect her child but good lord was it a long, tedious and convoluted path to get to a "meh" point.

Worst of all there was honestly very little real dialogue or genuine human moments throughout and by the end of it I honestly just didn't really care about or feel like I knew the characters at all.

It's not bad if you just want something to watch but if you're strapping in for the 2 hours expecting something more, you're going to be disappointed.

Fairview (2022)

This was absolutely painful to watch.

[1/10 · 11 February 2022]

I tried, I really tried to get into this but it's just 20 minutes of rapid-fire yelling constantly trying to pack as many jokes into every line as possible but NONE of them are funny.... not even the 500 jokes about pooping on people.

Seriously why is every character constantly shouting and talking as fast as possible? I actually had a lot of trouble even determining what was supposed to be going on in the garbage script because it was so hard to even tell what everyone was saying or what was happening.

The whole thing feels like it was some summer DIY project from a couple of middle schoolers trying SO hard to be funny.

Longest 20 minutes of my life.

Awake (III) (2021)

Entertaining, novel concept, worth watching.

[7/10 · 24 December 2021]

The movie has it's problems and it isn't perfect but the concept is intriguing, the fx are quite well done, and the acting is very good all around.

There are some pacing issues and I personally felt like the hysteria ramped up a little quicker than would be realistic but overall it was an enjoyable take on an apocalypse movie that built a slow deep dread and panic rather than an immediate physical threat like zombies or poisons or something.

The reviewers on here complaining about lifeless acting and characters making bad decisions apparently forgot the entire premise of the movie is that these people are incredibly sleep deprived, tired and delirious... which I think the cast played so well it actually fooled these reviewers into thinking the actors were lifeless and dead tired.

Cosmic Sin (2021)

Was this written by a 10 year old?

[2/10 · 26 July 2021]

Seriously wanted to like this, I like Bruce Willis,I like sci-fi, even b-grade stuff ....but this literally feels like someone tried to make a movie from a ten year old's poorly written homemade comic book. Everything is just cobbled together pieces of dead horses that were beaten apart years ago and half the dialogue and concepts seem outright random and senseless. Also they should have called this "Tachyon Interference" since it's said so many times; apparently that was the only science term the writers knew?

Chad (2021–2024)

Has anyone involved ever met a human before?

[1/10 · 18 April 2021]

Not a single character, especially the main, even faintly resembles a real believable being at all. And at this point I'm not even talking about how the woman playing a teen boy just looks like a woman playing a teen boy.... the actual characters, how they're written as a person, their dialogue and actions are all as if the writers have never actually met a person before.

I know the idea was supposed to be a show about a socially awkward young boy and the weird growing pains of learning to fit in and be yourself blah blah blah but they wrote the characters so far past "socially awkward" to the point of seeming legitimately mentally handicapped.

Overall the show is absolutely unbearable and could likely be used to torture information out of someone by making them watch it.

Nothing about this show works at all.

Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019)

This was everything I wanted it to be

[10/10 · 8 December 2020]

Crass, janky, childish, stupid, ridiculous, overly complicated, over the top, super-meta, an absolute blast, a great time with old friends, and a nice topping of that Kevin Smith genuine but heavy-handed heartfelt sentiment.

This really is one for the fanboys who grew up on this stuff. I wouldn't have wanted this to be any different.

A lot of reviews point out that it's all about nostalgia and "you can't go back" apparently missed the point that that is exactly what this movie was saying itself.

Project Power (2020)

Don't Know Why This Has Such Bad Reviews

[9/10 · 24 October 2020]

It was unique, quirky, entertaining and fun. No, it's not an Oscar contender or anything but it has a cool concept, great love-able characters and great acting. Dominique Fishback was fantastic and I loved her character.

Furthermore I really enjoyed the approach to this type of movie with more restraint given to the fights/powers so it was more interesting when you do see them instead of it just being constantly in your face the whole movie.

Overall totally worth a watch!

Wanted (2008)

The dumbest movie I've ever watched.

[1/10 · 23 December 2017]

There is nothing redeemable about this writhing pile of cinema refuse.

The plot is stretched so thin you can read through it.

The action is so over the top ridiculously unbelievable that I actually laughed out loud several times during the movie.

The acting is mediocre at best and by the end of the movie I just couldn't wait to walk away.

Strange Evidence (2017– )

Science Channel should be ashamed

[1/10 · 27 November 2017]

This is literally click bait television with excruciatingly stupid "science experiments" used to "solve" completely commonplace events that the show pretends are mysterious.

I've watched 5 episodes and immediately knew or guessed EVERY SINGLE "mystery" as soon as I saw them but then had to spend a painstaking amount of time watching "experts" come up with every ridiculous conclusion under the sun before revealing the very ordinary cause.

The exploding battery, the "levitating cars", the "ufo" trail cam, and so many others were just mind-numbingly stupid to watch.

Science Channel, you are actually making people DUMBER with this click bait garbage of a show. Be very, very, very ashamed of yourselves for this crap.

Chris Webber's Full Court Pranks (2017– )

Why Was This Made?

[1/10 · 20 March 2017]

I watched 3 entire episodes without a chuckle, a gasp, a laugh, or even the faintest bit of interest. The only reason I kept watching was in hopes of understanding why this is on television.

These were the lamest, most uncreative, poorly executed & acted "pranks" I have ever witnessed. Every single time they revealed to the mark that they were being pranked their reaction was an eye roll and "oh really?" with absolutely no surprise what so ever.

Network executives are scratching their heads wondering why viewers are all going to Youtube for entertainment and THIS is the garbage you put on TV??

This half baked piece of trash has no energy, no humor, it's clear that most of it is entirely fake (even the mark), and the ideas must have been written in by Chris Webber's 5 year old nephew.

Don't waste a single second watching this vapid filth.

Hush (I) (2016)

So predictable it was utterly boring

[1/10 · 2 November 2016]

This had high ratings on Netflix so I thought I'd give it a go. Everyone mentioned how brilliant and different and Hitchcockian it was. I don't know what movie they watched but I quite literally had this entire movie mapped out in my head 15 minutes into it and I was about 98% right on. There is no story, no characters, and the suspense is useless because you know exactly what is going to happen next. Then on top of that, what happens next is exactly what you thought but even MORE boring than you predicted.

"oh no where is he?"

"OH CRAP THERE HE IS"

"where did he go now?"

"OH CRAP HERE HE IS, ouch!"

"what is he going to do next?"

"maybe I will fight back. dang now we are both hurt"

"he ran off again"

"crappy jump scare, stupid struggle, one of us is dead"

Seriously it is just a boring drawn out home invasion slasher flick with no surprises and nothing new.