bradlewis98 Reviews

Crimewave (1985)

There's a fine line between stupid and genius...

[9/10 · 29 November 2009]

...and "Crimewave" jumps that line constantly. The story behind the film is pretty well known so it is hard to fault Raimi for some of the weirdness that remains on screen. The tone of the film is nuts--somewhere between parody and Warner Brothers cartoon--and the foley work is straight up insane. I'd like to think that if Raimi had final cut some of that insanity could have been pared down. As it is we are stuck with a wild, over the top, yet incredibly quotable, curio. Raimi has a certain vibe, if you are not tuned into his aesthetic this film will be like nails on a chalkboard to you.

But those who are not turned off by the excessive cartoonishness on display get to be exposed to some, oftentimes, brilliant deconstruction of classic Hollywood genre films. not unlike his "Drag Me To Hell," "Crimewave" hits every note of the film noir and depression-era musical in ways that make you not not resent the appearance of cliché, but realize that's what make these films so fun in the first place.

Old Dogs (I) (2009)

Holy god

[2/10 · 29 November 2009]

"Old Dogs" is simply mind numbingly awful. It's like two hours of being raped in the face by fart jokes. Is it funny to see Seth Green pretend to get hit in the balls? Well then this is totally up your alley. When people talk about how films are getting worse this is what they are talking about. The inexplicable amount of decent ratings for this mess of idiocy kind of explains why the publishing industry is tanking. I refuse to admit I live in a world where those who enjoy this dreck actually know how to read.

"Old Dogs" is an ugly artless stupid film that has been created only to keep your kids quiet for a couple hours; although making them sit through this should legally be on the same level as child abuse. In a couple years we will forget this ever existed.

Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)

A giant pile of puffy perfect

[10/10 · 10 September 2009]

I watch a lot of movies. A LOT of movies. Getting a graduate degree in film forces one to watch 2-3 flicks a day for years. It all gets very exhausting. Mostly because I feel I have seen it all. So rare is it when I get surprised by something, mostly I hope to see something as good as I expect it to be.

Death Bed is so unlike anything I have ever experienced I actually had to stop the DVD in order to rant about its genius.

The rhythm of the piece is psychotic. It's structured in a way that forces the viewer to stay outside of the frame. It's not like something like Halloween with all its snappy editing and POV shots; Death bed actually comes across as kind of dreamy. The most pretentious way I can phrase it is: this is Samuel Beckett making a haunted house movie. I mean it's a manic depressive bed that eats people! And fried chicken! Out in the middle of nowhere! And there's bone hands! I can barely articulate my feelings about this film. And yeah, copping to liking this will open you up to ridicule. But things get real same-y after awhile. Its hard to be a cinephile and consistently stay engaged. I can honestly say this is a fully unique film up and down. From what it is to how its put together. We need films like that, movies that shake us out of our complacency. Consider it like existential camp. it's fun and it's stupid, but also brilliant in its weird little way. The worst horror villain of all time? Maybe, but at least it isn't a guy in a mask.

Made in U.S.A (1966)

the ignored gem of a master

[10/10 · 10 September 2009]

So Godard is not for everyone. I need to preface things here with that. Godard is such a polarizing figure some folks actually get angry at not just the director, but also with the people who enjoy his work. I've actually been accused a few times of simply pretending to dig the guy by those who didn't have the patience. But, for my money, when Godard was in his power (ie the Sixties) no one could touch him.

Made in USA, so Godard claims, is a remake of the Big Sleep. But, and it should be noted up top, I don't think we can believe him. Part of the fun is dealing with how he will lie to you, treat you with contempt, and/or in general mess with your head. There are constant interruptions in the film, Godard forces you to face the fact you are watching a film and to size it up constantly. Godard doesn't exist to watch on auto pilot; he wants you to analyze the act of viewing. It can be infuriating, especially when he removes action sequences or very awkwardly names characters/places "Otto Preminger" or "Richard Widmark." The political statements get a little heavy handed as well, though treated with humor.

As much fun as I find the film, and this entire period of Godard, watching a film like this or Pierrot Le Fou or 2 or 3 Things About Her or Weekend is work. You are expected to be actively involved. If you want to be told a story or feel like you are looking into another world, maybe Made in USA is not for you. And that's cool, these films are obnoxious and pretentious. But it can be extremely rewarding if you are willing to admit you may not "get" chunks of the film and maybe enjoyment will only kick in after thinking about the movie for a couple days. That sounds like faint praise, but Made in USA is an audacious, bold, exciting film that makes you confront what you always took for granted in classic Hollywood.

X: The Unheard Music (1986)

unique and exciting punk doc

[10/10 · 10 September 2009]

I have seen an unholy amount of punk documentary and biopics; maybe even more than that. For whatever reason every band that half filled a bar has a film about their career/supposed influence. Once Arab On Radar got their own film you knew things had gone too far. Those quickie fan films can be exciting, and occasionally interesting...and sometimes you even find yourself half drunk and screaming in the background. But they rarely achieve the status as film, really just home videos for the die hards.

The Unheard Music is the exception that proves the rule. Maybe due to being produced when the market/distribution plan would have been nebulous at best, this comes across as an independent and brilliant piece of art, which just happens to feature one of the first wave LA's best punk bands. Unheard Music is constructed like a collage, like one of those bootleg video mixtapes that were floating around the underground back in the day. Your basic interview, performance, rehearsal sequences are intercut with found footage and various Exene based weirdness.

The true greatness of the film is the illustration of how X could never possibly find themselves in any subsection of the mainstream. For a band that is so informed by the classic sounds of American rock and roll, for a band that would have had dance hits in 1957, it is disheartening to listen to sleazy label suits babble about how the entire country would not "get" X. It's obnoxious at best to think those weasels are making value judgments about my taste based on geography. But then maybe that does explain Nickelback.

This is a fresh an exciting film about not just X, but what a statement it once was to say you were into punk. It took a certain amount of effort since the powers that be actively kept you from hearing this music. Wasn't on the radio, TV, or in suburban record stores. Makes you really understand how much of an uphill battle artist-musicians have.

Burial Ground: The Nights of Terror (1981)

oddness

[3/10 · 2 August 2009]

We really got two movies here, the Peter Bark show....and then a bunch of other stuff. Having the most freakishly disturbing 30 year old midget in mom jeans play a small child was a touch of genius. I've been trying to understand if the eventual Oedipal freak out is more or less effective with this creepy man-child. I can say every second Bark is on screen is the best moment in the history of film. Maybe that's overreacting...they were the best moments of my life though. As for the rest of it--I don't get what the fans are on about. The zombies looked kind of goofy to me, just really fake. The death scenes were brutal and kind of unique, so it had that going for it. All in all this is one of those films you would stumble across while nose deep in dusty video shelves. Used to be you would run across these weird Italian genre films with really intense box art. Had mystery. I'm beginning to think that the fidelity constraints of VHS made these films infinitely better. Crystal clear images do not help the goofy zombie mask man-boy slasher fest.

Baghead (2008)

mumble-good, for once

[8/10 · 22 July 2009]

you know how during every horror movie you lean over to your date and say "why doesn't she just ..."? In Baghead she just does ... In fact everyone just ... But that's the genius of the film. Within Baghead we get the common/obnoxious tropes of 80s slasher film reduced to aging gen x inconvenience. On a meta level all that masked killer in the woods horseradish is little more than an inconvenience to the media slave gen xer like myself. So how exciting is it to see a group of me just accept that situation and move forward? The titular Baghead just kicks around in the background, the silent killer of this group. The axe wielding maniac of this film is the nuance of modern relationship. Guy in a mask? easy: just run. Girl who doesn't like you back? There's a movie. Baghead is a wonderful deconstruction/homage of the defining genre films of a person of a certain age but restructured to include that painful whatever of the unmarried 30ish. Imagine Cassavetes directing Slaughter High. At this point the best mumblecore has yet to offer. Do check out.

Sex Drive (2008)

Totally unwatchable

[1/10 · 21 July 2009]

I am not going to say this movie is terrible or brilliant. Clearly its not very great. This kind of stuff is always pretty incompetent (I have a MA in film--I can't not keep an eye on form), but usually pretty funny. Aggressively stupid coming of age type stuff works on me far more than it doesn't. You don't need to be Godard to make something like Super Troopers or Valley Girl or Road trip or Nick and Norah or whatever work. Nostalgia plus easy to please means cheap teenage comedies get to me far too often. But this? Sex Drive isn't a movie, it's an abortion. The basic joke structure is obnoxious+boob. So essentially its 2 hours of listening to someone you would punch in real life and punchline flashes of full frontal nudity. These movies depend on three things: characters, gags, and soundtrack. All awful here. Mostly bland characters, no real jokes to speak of, and massively unmemorable attempts to pin the movie to a time. Then Fall Out Boy shows up. Unwatchable movie plus one of the most unlistenable bands I can think of. Awesome. But hey, bright spot: Seth Green. Dude shows up, acts all Seth Green-y, and brings the only funny of the movie. At the end of the day this movie exists, in one form or another, over and over again. A version of Sex Drive is released like 5 times a year. Just watch the other 4, this thing is a bloody disaster. Humor is 100% subjective (proof? Carlos Mencia gets work) and I can dig that. I'm not taste cop, groove on what you want. But seriously, you can do better.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)

Just bad...really just plain bad

[1/10 · 26 May 2008]

The nostalgic thrill at seeing Indiana Jones walk onto the screen once more is completely justified. The first three films were spectacular entertainments that absolutely captured a mood that was as refreshing as it was alien to 80's cinema. Like most opening weekend patrons, I was anxiously awaiting this film for months. Turns out all I can say is "yikes." Not a single element works in this film. Whereas Spielberg used to depend on the satisfying suspension of disbelief that is mandated in escapism, this nonsense is just plain insulting. There is no thrill in watching the implausible. A shot of Indiana Jones maybe two miles downwind of a nuclear explosion is not awe inspiring, it's infuriating. Though I do have to admit the mushroom cloud effect was pretty great. But regardless of the occasional solid special effect, the movie just wasn't there. The entire thing is shot like a Barbara Walters interview. The soft lighting is, frankly, oppressive. The script is essentially just one long car chase with no logic or story to guide any of the actions. Many of the action set pieces were either dull or laughable. Having a greaser swing through the jungle on vines while amassing a monkey army? Ending two major threats by flashing the crystal skull? It's just lazy is what it is. Instead of going on listing faults let me just say this film is simply a complete waste of time and money. Forget it ever existed.