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Lost Child (2017)
Surprisingly Good
For a low budget independent film, this hits all the good marks. Photography, sound, and script are excellent. Well-developed characters.
I've lived in areas such as in this film and the settings and people are accurately depicted. Sad, lonely, buckets of despair, with a glimmer of progress towards love.
Well worth a watch.
The Adjustment Bureau (2011)
Disappointing
Flat characters, subpar acting, and just when you think it might get better it descends down the elevator to clichés and more subpar acting.
What could have been a worthy adaptation of Dick fails in a trite screenplay and production.
Disappointing at best I'm glad I spent no money to watch this time dragger.
Beyond Impossible (2022)
Snowflakes will clutch pearls and many will get the vapors.
Watch Vinnie's other movies, FAT: A Documentary 1 & 2. He destroys the opposition with real science, not the government and medical "pros" who have an extreme vested interest in treating an illness and not preventing illness.
This movie shows every thing wrong with the latest fad of heavily processed 'meat substitutes' and who makes profit on making and keeping you sick and overweight.
Atta boy, Vinnie. Thanks for your work. To celebrate I'm having a thick ribeye steak, butter on top, and a couple of fried eggs.
Radioactive (2019)
A Fictional Film based on a Fictional Book
Never trust the movie industry to pass up a chance to add social justice and wokeness into everything it touches, even when it's completely fabricated.
This is such a movie. Madam Curie was an interesting and intellectual giant than didn't need such a fictionalized account of her life and times. As to Pike, she's good at what she was handed, but unbelievable as the real Madam Curie. Pike I've noticed tends to treat her roles with the same effect as the last one she did. I don't find a lot of depth in her performance, just her last film role in new clothes.
The best I can say for this effort is perhaps someone will be inspired to discover the real Madam Curie, not the pretend Madam Curie.
Stan & Ollie (2018)
Beautiful in Many Ways
The best performances ever by Coogan and Reilly. As perfect a movie as I've seen in years. Supporting cast member all first-rate. Screenwriting tight and never drawn out. Costumes and sets sublimely natural. A rare and authentic production.
Should have won an Oscar for best picture.
A true love story.
Robot Apocalypse (2021)
Amateur production, terrible acting,
A Direct from video to the outhouse. Production. This is what happens when the slow bus meets homeless bums and derelicts and they decide to 'put on a play' except far worse than can be imagined.
There is no amount of drugs, malt liquor, or cheap vodka that would make this entertaining.
It could line a bird cage but would probably kill the bird.
The Act of Reading (2021)
Idea 8, Execution 3
Take a good idea. Have the first 10 minutes be excellent.
Then, delve into family self-created angst, re-creations that serve no purpose but indulgent drivel, make it all about the producer, have editing done by someone with software and no ability to edit, and extended periods of goofy plays where Melville is a woman, and street gangs unable to conquer English and acting.
All-in-all, a high-school over-wrought class play pretending to be intellectual, but coming across like country-club elitists where appearance is more important that substance.
Good literature takes one out of themselves. Bad documentaries focus on navel-gazing. This is navel-gazing tripe.
Such promise, but ultimately so disappointing.
Flight of the Phoenix (2004)
Politically correct movie enema
Only thing missing was a blind trans woman in a wheelchair performing brain surgery with dental floss on a gay migrant child from Haiti while flying the plane with her sonar superpower.
Nope. More Hollywood drivel.
Prey (2021)
Waste of electrons
Flat characters, no suspense, predictable, wearisome. The girlfriend's acting is as laughable as the screenplay. Bums on skid-row could so a better job. Even Rifftrax turned up their noses at this malarky.
Just say no.
Tunnelen (2019)
This movie only comes English Dubbed- That makes it bad.
I hate movies that are English dubbed and I speak English. I'd ALWAYS rather hear it in the original language with English subtitles. The dubbing never works and it's like watching a bad ventriloquist where the dummy's lips move after the ventriloquist has stopped speaking.
It may be a decent movie but I couldn't get past the bad dubbing and after 10 minutes threw in the towel.
I watch foreign movies with subtitles all the time. Why this movie only offered it with English dubbing rather than Norwegian with subtitles is beyond me.
Monsters of Man (2020)
When med student snowflakes whine and cry
If you like whiny snowflakes, computer crybabies, and unfathomable pretend shootouts reminiscent of 6-year-old kids playing cowboys and indians, this is the movie for you.
I rooted for the robots and cheered everytime a snowflake melted.
Embarrassing acting made worse by an embarrassing screenplay. The jungle CIA actor looked like Abraham Lincoln on meth.
It would be difficult to tell the difference smell-wise between this cow patty flopper movie and toe-jam.
Amy Schumer: The Leather Special (2017)
Even when stealing other comedians' jokes, she still sucks.
Perhaps the worst comedian around. A train-wreck of a person, her appeal must be for the simple-minded, tweens, and drunks.
It's sad that carnival freak shows are no more. Schumer would be perfect as the modern-day equivalent of Tod Browning's chicken-woman - all squawk, no-brains, and full of excrement.
How to Become a Tyrant (2021)
Being an actor doesn't mean you're a narrator
What could have provided some slight historical value was ruined by the terrible narration by Peter Dinklage. A thoroughly boring and monotone narration with all the emotive power of a turtle eating worms, Dinklage proved his talents lie elsewhere.
A good narration can be listened to without pictures. This is not worth watching and certainly not worth listening to.
Spend your time elsewhere unless you have insomnia.
Blood Red Sky (2021)
Original, Intense, not the usual horror tripe
Fast moving, exciting, and more than good. It's an excellent movie for those fed up with the usual dull and plodding haunted house goofiness teenagers-at-the-lake, found footage rubbish, and zombie trash of the last 30 years..
Good acting, plot, sceenplay, direction, and high production values.
This is a classic that will be watched long after the folderol of current 'horror' dies a silent, but well-deserved death.
Stowaway (2021)
A non-crescendo to nowhere
Nope. No excitement, no drama, no commanding presence or even the slightest pulse-raising action. Even ethical considerations are bland.
A muddled-mess.
The Silent Revolution of Truth (2007)
The Best UFO Comedy of All Time
Take one Billy Meier. Add strings to hubcaps, Billy's own manic delusions, the gullible 'true believers,' and the most ignorant claptrap of bovine excrement, and you have this comedy.
Mix Looney Tunes and Chariots of the Gods and you have a laugh-fest of galactic proportions. Only thing missing is a one-tooth bumpkin claiming to have seen ET marry Sasquatch in Alabama.
Mama (2013)
When darkness passes for horror. A "C-" movie at best.
Not scary, just sad. Sad to waste talent, resources, and an 1-1/2 hours on nothing that hasn't been done before. Like a kid on a chair straining to reach the cookie jar, this 'movie' strains to be a horror movie. But like that kid, it falls on the floor.
Perfect movie to play when you're vacuuming the carpet, running the dishwasher, cutting the grass, or anything else that doesn't require you to actually and disappointedly watch it.
The Day the Earth Stood Still (2008)
Some nice effects, some terrible acting
I wonder how much Will Smith paid to have his no-talent kid in this movie? While at best this is a 'C' movie, the addition of Jaden Smith to this cow-patty flopper brought a new low to cinema.
There are talented and skilled black kids in Hollywood who could have performed intelligently. Jaden Smith is neither talented or skilled and his IQ matches his shoe size.
Jaden Smith, in contrast to little Debbie in "Manos: The Hands of Fate," makes Debbie look like Ethel Barrymore compared to Jaden's petulance and non-existent acting talent of a dung beetle.
A waste of both Reeves and Connelly in a bad script. Jaden Smith - when you want a spoiled, whiney, self-important wanker to ruin the movie.
The Ringmaster (2019)
Buying cameras and having an idea doesn't make you a filmmaker.
Watch this to see a spoiled boy wearing adult clothes thinks if he buys cameras, throws money at a crew, and sports a backward-wearing Kangol cap he's a filmmaker. He's not.
This is not a documentary of Larry Lang. This is an ego-driven, people destroying, tramp through a person's life for the non-talented Zachs' own aggrandizement. There's not a boot big enough to kick that faux filmmaker's ass back to his manipulative home in his self-important dreamland. The crew of his excuse-making sycophants are equally deserving of shame.
By the end of this disaster you realize the only decent person in the whole documentary is Larry. All the rest are dingleberries on the buttholes of life.
The Midnight Sky (2020)
Is it bad? No. Is it great? No. But it's good.
Slow-paced, cerebral, and quietly heartfelt. Rather than a spectacle, it's an internal and introspective clutching of lost time and opportunities. Closer to real life than Star Wars, it won't appeal to the light saber crowd and it's not supposed to.
To the criticism that it lacks scientific basis, you're right. But scientific facts in this case aren't what's important. It's a story, not documentary.
I liked it. Knowing nothing about it beforehand except it was a George Clooney movie, I was afraid it might be another "We destroyed the world" ecological trope. I'm please to say it wasn't, though the first 15 minutes I was half expecting Greta Thunberg to come out behind a snowdrift all grimacing and preachy. Thankfully, she didn't.
Watch it, not when you're in a celebratory mood, but when you tire of football, political wokeness, and Trumpism. You may learn something about yourself.
Ava (2020)
An Unbelievable movie - unbelievably mediocre and a pale imitation.
A waste of Jennifer Chastain, Gena Davis, and the rest of the cast. It's nothing you haven't seen before only done better by others who had a script rather than post-it notes ideas.
A whoopie cushion has more entertainment value.
The Atheist Delusion (2016)
A LaughFest of Biblical Proportions!
Ray Comfort, AKA 'Mr. Banana', is back for another installment of why creationists make us laugh.
Watch it with your family and do your own Rifftrax as Mr. Banana splits sides with his inane gobbledygook straight from the Dumbth Academy of Freaky Fundamentalism. Thrill as Mr. Banana takes you on a hilarious journey through anti-science, false history, and stuff so stupidly silly that our ape ancestors would be stomping their feet, waving their arms, and flinging feces at the screen with glee.
It doesn't get better than this to show your 5-year-old children why they should get an education instead of indoctrination.
Deadlocked (2020)
Remember when you were 5 and someone hid and jumped out at you?
Remember when you were 5 and someone hid and jumped out at you? That was scary! This movie is not.
My only fear is that I would be trapped in an elevator with this group of bad actors and unable to open the door to welcome the zombies.
Here's the first clue you find before the movie starts that let's you know how bad it's going to be.
It's the tagline,'"As a zombie virus breaks out, one ragtag group of trapped elevator passengers must pull together for a fighting chance of survival against an infected rider and the clever horde that awaits them outside."
"Ragtag?" Whenever you see 'ragtag' in a movie description made in the last 40 years, it's almost guaranteed to be a stinker. This movie is no exception.
"Must pull together for a fighting chance" - clue number 2.
Considering that the writer/writers thought this was clever and an emotional inducement to watch this tells you that the writing suffers along with the plot.
I did start watching it. Fortunately I was distracted by phone calls, email, messages, and taking out the dogs to potty, so it is possible I missed something incredible. But I'd lay 10 to 1 odds I didn't and the dog's potty was more thrilling.
This movie wouldn't deserve consideration by Rifftrax. It's not that it's so bad it's good; it's just bad.
War of the Worlds (2019)
Incredibly useless teenagers
Interesting premise but the most incredibly useless, spoiled, and mentally inept teenagers on earth. Reminds me of most SJWs, Woke, and Antifa brats.
I'm half-way through the series and hoping the teens get killed. Certainly a gene pool that doesn't need to reproduce.
Update: I suffered through this only to learn there's a second series planned. My God, that's like maggots on a cow patty. The only thing strong about this series is the pretentiousness of the script, direction, music, and characters.
Should crap hit the fan there's no one you'd want to be on your side. You wouldn't have to outrun the aliens, just run faster than the one-dimensional actors and let the aliens enjoy their catch. The survivors would have one-less resourch drain to feed.
Eroica (1949)
Beautiful film about Beethoven
Exquisite lighting and cinematography. A first-rate example of black and white used to full effect.
While not a definitive film biography of Beethoven it does capture him with great artistic license.
I'm also an enthusiast of "Immortal Beloved" and Gary Oldman's excellent portrayal of Beethoven. Both are equally great in their own way and along with the 2003 "Beethoven's Eroica" by the BBC give you insight into the Mastro.