artilevel Reviews

Demented (1980)

I guess it depends on who's watching, but I liked this movie very much.

[9/10 · 13 September 2013]

It has been some years since I saw it, but I have never forgotten it and have been searching for it ever since, without success. It had flaws, but then what movie doesn't? I don't much like the flash, noisy, special effects laden dross that gets churned out nowadays but nearly everybody loves it seems.

I've seen many revenge movies, such as I Spit on your Grave, Last House on the Left and similar type movies, like House on the Edge of the Park and so many horror movies of that genre that most of them all blur in to one eventually, but this one stuck in my mind. I'm not sure why exactly, but the fact that it stands out above all the others I've seen shows it had something about it that made it just that bit different.

I'm sure some would say maybe I just like bad movies, given most of the reviews here, but then how anyone can say House on the Edge of the Park is a good movie is quite beyond me, when in reality it has been mostly instantly forgettable for me, so much the same as so many others of that ilk was it.

I really wish Demented would get a good DVD release. After all, so much utter rubbish does, so if a movie that some regard as rubbish gets put onto DVD, well then, that is just another 'rubbish' movie that has been given a DVD release! And some who may never have seen it, can do so, and many will appreciate and like it, I am sure.

Ludwig (1977– )

Aaah, Ludwig! Greatly imaginative, unique series.

[10/10 · 22 September 2010]

'Ludwig' is the soul of Beethoven, who takes the form of an ovoid crystalized jewel and who haunts a woodland glade where he plays his music on his violin and helps the wood's inhabitants, the birds and animals who reside there.

Actually that is my interpretation, because the truth is that the question remains: What is Ludwig?

In this series he is a crystalline egg that 'grows' arms and legs and plays the violin, and also in fact can grow just about anything from out of himself, including helicopter rotors!

A weird, bizarre, and delightfully surealistic series that I just love! Everything about it appeals to me, the strangeness and uniqueness of it, the woodland setting, the bird called Magpie who is nothing like a real magpie as he is bright blue! The oddness of the watcher in the woods, with the deerstalker hat, and permanantly observing Ludwig through a large pair of binoculars, and as he does so, he is telling us what Ludwig is doing. After he has asked the question, that is, seemingly of himself, of "What is Ludwig doing today?" or somesuch similarity of questioning, then proceeds to relate to us all that Ludwig is doing.

This is a series that probably wouldn't, or couldn't, be made today. Todays paranoid society with its culture of suspicion would most likely see the anonymous watcher in the woods with the binoculars as something to be feared and treated as highly suspect, and certainly not an image they would want propagated as being seen as 'innocent' in a children's TV series, as we all know that anyone who stands around in woods with binoculars observing anything at all, is really just a potential pervert out to prey on young children , who must always be suspicious and wary of anyone in a wood watching anything through binoculars! Today's audiences may well see the innocent narrator as the boogeyman. Such a shame if that really is the case, as facetiousness aside, it would not surprise me to find out is one of the motives behind not giving this wonderful series a new, bright, happy release onto the DVD market.

One can only speculate as to why superb series like this one, and the wonderful Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings are still to get the DVD releases they deserve. Anyway, this VFS tape is still worthwhile purchasing if you have access to a video player. The cover is so bright and cheerful too, that one hopes they would use this again for any DVD release of Ludwig.

So.... What is Ludwig? Nobody knows. Maybe he really is the soul of Beethoven.

Really though..... Ludwig is a real 'gem' (pardon the pun) long overdue for a DVD release.

Simon in the Land of Chalk Drawings (1976– )

Catchiest theme tune ever!

[10/10 · 22 September 2010]

# Well, you know my name is Simon, and the things I draw come true.....la la la.

A great series, brilliantly narrated by Bernard Cribbins, (Grandad Wilf in Doctor Who) with the catchiest theme tune in any kids show ever. The series has apparently been released with a different voice doing the narration in Canada, (why they should want to change it is a mystery to me) and also an 'updated' version with Simon looking more modern and wearing different clothes, (again, why they feel the need to change something so sublime is a mystery) but I haven't seen the updated version yet so won't condemn it. The greatest mystery of all though, is why this wonderful series is still not available on DVD. Surely someone will rectify this at some point? If there is any justice in the world. (One hopes that other great series, like James the Cat, and the wonderful Ludwig cartoon series will also get DVD releases soon!).

There are copies on disc of the first Simon VHS knocking around on the 'net but as they are straight copies from the tape, there is no chapter stops for the individual episodes, and no proper menu at all, so not really a good alternative. Certain old or obscure programmes are filtering through onto DVD so hopefully someone somewhere will see sense at some time and make sure that Simon gets the DVD release he so evidently deserves!

For anyone who hasn't seen it, Simon is a small boy who draws things on a blackboard at home and then when he goes out, he meets one of his chalk-drawn figures come to life, called Henry.

Simon and Henry climb a ladder - or rather Simon does, Henry sort of crawls up and over the wall, as he is, after all, only a chalk drawing figure who at first glance appears to be drawn on the wall outside, but once in chalk drawing land, is real, though still only two dimensional.

Then Simon and Henry have assorted adventures involving drawings that Simon has done previously which have mysteriously come to life in the Land of chalk drawings. Simon is also able to change events in the Land of Chalk by rubbing things out when he is there and/or drawing something new or changing something already drawn.

The 'real life' world that Simon inhabits is shown to be just black and white and shades of grey, but in Chalk Drawing Land, everything is shown in vibrant colours, so that instead of a plain white background, the background becomes either bright pink, or green or blue, etc. Which seems to suggest that the world of Simon's imagination is bright and cheerful instead of the black and white dullness of his day to day existence.

It is a lovely series, kind of 'innocent' and lacking in the brashness and noise and harshness of many kids' TV programmes. It has a charm all of its own and must surely be given a DVD release of all its episodes.

James the Cat (1984–1998)

Delightful series.

[10/10 · 16 May 2009]

Cannot understand why this is still unavailable on DVD. It is bright and colourful and cheerful, cute, funny, great characters, especially James, who thinks he is so brilliant and good at everything, when he really isn't, and even when it's proved that he's really rather daft, he still believes himself to be the best. Hilarious, witty and charming. The series begins when James gets forgotten and left behind in a basket outside of the house when his owners move away. James then moves into the garden, where he lives with his friends, which included a kangaroo, a pink dragon called Dennis, and a frog with a French accent! Another very funny episode is where James (a great big fat black and white cat, by the way!) and his friends attempt to put off potential buyers of the (now empty) house.

Broken (III) (2006)

A brilliant movie!

[8/10 · 20 May 2008]

I loved the beautiful woodland setting, (though apparently it was just a thicket, as explained on the extras on the DVD, which is kind of sad really, making it seem as though nowhere in the UK can you find a really secluded woodland that is actually far away from a road!) it was a shame that the scene which showed the woman driving her car with her daughter present also, and the man turning up in the middle of the road, making her stop the car, was deleted, without that it makes it seem as though she must have gone to bed and woken up in a box in the woods. It's only when watching the documentary on the DVD that one realises what actually happened.

I would have preferred the film to have told the story from the perspective of the first woman, rather than the character of Hope, I found Hope intensely irritating, in the scenes in the restaurant with her 'date', she was acting in a cringe-making, annoying coquettish manner, and even worse back in her home with her tell-all mentality giggling with her girlfriend who had babysat her kid. Her character started off by being such an irritating, silly woman, that it was hard to feel any sympathy for her or to care much about what happened to her. As the movie progressed, I warmed to her a little more, but not much, her acting seemed rather contrived and not exactly believable, but apart from that, I very much enjoyed the movie, I thought the hiding of a certain object inside people's bodies, (which they had to dig out to enable their escape) was similar to what occurred in the "Saw" movie, but this film was way, way better than "Saw" in my opinion, far more entertaining, and unlike "Saw", this was very visually beautiful to look at, owing to the lovely woodland setting.

According to the information contained in the extras on the DVD, they made the movie for somewhere between eight and ten thousand pounds. Incredibly low budget and therefore all the more praise necessary to the cast and crew and makers for achieving such a good piece of work but I guess having such a beautiful setting helped a lot here! I was absorbed throughout, even allowing for Hope's annoying behaviour in the restaurant. The movie had such great atmosphere, and I loved the touch of showing the delightful little robin singing on his branch! Great movie. Well done to all concerned! Oh, and I loved the ending. She didn't see that one coming! Way cool.

The Omega Factor (1979)

Very interesting series.

[9/10 · 16 May 2008]

I never saw this before until I purchased the DVD recently. Very interesting, even more so for seeing the combination of Louise Jameson AKA Leela from Doctor Who, teamed up with what to me is a Tom Baker lookalike, and the fact that his name in this series is _Tom_, seemed kind of funny. Rather like watching an alternative version of Dr Who and Leela, OK, it was maybe mainly the character Tom Crane's hair that made me think of Tom Baker, but I can't believe I'm the only one to have noticed a similarity, and maybe it's just me, but I think the similarity is more than just his hair, his face too bore a look of Tom Baker to a certain degree. Anyhow, that bit of trivia out of the way, I really enjoyed the series for the story too, very thought provoking with it's tales of mind control and secret organisations and not knowing who to trust. A shame they never made another series. Apparently another one looked likely, but the rumour is that Mary Whitehouse and her listener's association complained, (she did the same with Doctor Who, "The Deadly Assassin" story mainly, maybe she had an aversion to curly haired men! Or Tom Baker and any lookalike! LOL) and the series had loose ends that would maybe have been dealt with in a second series. How Mary Whitehouse came to have so much sway over what got shown on TV, is anyone's guess, but Doctor Who had to be 'toned down' on her say so, cuz the makers got fed up with her complaining about it. Nice to see these much loved series getting DVD releases now, this one, along with the Saphire and Steel series, and the complete set of "Timeslip", and now the Armchair Thrillers being put out on DVD too, have been well worth waiting for and praise be to whoever is responsible for them seeing the light of day now.

Cold Prey (2006)

Superior slasher pic.

[8/10 · 12 May 2008]

I watched this one back to back with "Frostbite", so had a fine old time with the subtitles of both movies! Strangely enough though, when recalling the movies afterwards, one tends to forget about the subtitles, in fact I enjoyed this one so much, I have to keep reminding myself that it really did have subs. It kept me absorbed throughout, rare for any movie, and definitely so for one of this type.

At first, it may have seemed like you were going to get the typical format slasher movie, where a group of youngish people, (not exactly teens I didn't think) get stranded in an abandoned or derelict building, even better that in this movie, it's an abandoned ski motel on a snow covered mountain! Absolutely great! And no silly attempts at injecting annoying humour to irritate when it crops up in silly places, (ok, "Frostbite" had humour, but at least it was reasonably clever humour, but then I'm not reviewing that one, although I did enjoy it, but not as much as I enoyed this one) and what was unusual also, is that in "Cold Prey" one could really care about the characters and want them to escape, unlike in some movies where you don't care one way or the other what happens to them and might even sympathise with the killer. In this movie, you don't really get the chance as the motives are not clear, but I shan't go into details of anything more as I don't want to risk spoilers. The group of people who are stranded comprise of one reasonably pretty blonde girl and a plainer lookig girl and three guys, one who's a bit macho and the most unattractive one of the lot, not my type at all, another guy who got injured and was quite cute and then there was the boyfriend of the blonde girl, and he was quite cute too, but sadly none of them were exceptionally cute, (it may sound unimportant, but people do like to see pretty people in movies, even if they don't like to admit it!) but at least they didn't feature guys who were silly macho stereotypes which spoils things when uninspiring one dimensional characters are trotted out, at least these characters all seemed to have proper well rounded personalities, in that you could care about them and root for them and be dismayed when they were in danger. I found it very original for this type of movie and no-one should be put off by the subtitles, if you are, then you're probably better off watching something like the "Scream" movies instead. Or even worse, utter rubbish like "Scary Movie"! ;-)

The Last Winter (2006)

Thought provoking.

[9/10 · 12 May 2008]

Well directed, brilliantly acted and filmed, basically it seemed to be about the earth fighting back, maybe trying to shake off the humans responsible for seemingly devastating it. Very sad in this respect, but a movie that needs to be seen, hopefully to get people thinking about their impact as a collective mass that everyone is having on this poor planet we call home, often to the detriment of all other forms of life which have suffered terribly in one way or another, and I think this is what was being shown in the film, and the spirit of the earth and it's misplaced creatures rising up conveyed this message very well, though not in such detail as to spoil the mysterious effect but in ghostly ways that were just right, not too little and not too much, but just enough to get the message home to what it was really all about. Maybe the director had a different vision to what I am interpreting from what I have seen in it, but this is how it came across to me. Also a very beautiful film to look at in it's pristine whiteness of wilderness.

Scarecrows (1988)

This is lovely!

[10/10 · 6 May 2008]

A real, good, absorbing, creepy horror movie. Just the way I like them! No silly attempts at injecting humour into it, which ruins so many horror movies today, but loaded with menace and atmosphere, and so what if the story itself is a bit preposterous? (Spirits of three long dead people living on by inhabiting scarecrows) It works! And that is the main thing. The main premise of the plot is a group of robbers hijack a small plane and force the pilot and his daughter and their dog, to fly them away, but one robber bales out with the money and they go after him, and that's where the real story begins. I like the way that it's not all explained away and resolved with a neat, but boring, ending. The ending is great and most satisfactory. A must-see for all those who like a more in-depth horror movie with no real clear cut distinction between goodies and baddies and not one favoured over the other by the spooky and unnatural forces at work. When I first watched it years ago, it was on a very dark VHS tape recording, seeing it on DVD for the first time (I have the region one version) was a revelation. Great to see some of these old much loved movies getting DVD releases now.

The Girl with the Hungry Eyes (1995)

Very good but they should have used the longer version only.

[10/10 · 5 May 2008]

There is the 'official' release of this on the DVD, which is the shorter edited version, which has far superior picture quality in that the colours are bright, whereas the longer, unedited version, also on the disc, has dull colours, but the shorter, official, release is spoilt by an annoying voice over, which really wasn't necessary, and seems only to be there to 'explain' more fully the story to what seems to be felt of as a dim American audience on the part of the makers. The longer version, which I saw first, is far, far superior in every way, apart from the dull colours, to the shortened version, so anyone seeing this should make sure to see the longer version first and see it how the director intended. It is based on the short story of the same name by Fritz Lieber, but in that 'the girl' remains nameless and an enigma, whereas in the movie, she is given a background supposedly explaining why she is the way she is, when the story works better without this, as she doesn't need an explanation, quite simply, she just - 'is'. And the written story conveys this very well. Never forget the last paragraph of the story where The Girl reveals her full intent, "I want that broken bike, I want your blood on the cobblestones, baby!" or whatever it was, she said. It said it all in that final paragraph. A brilliant story and one of the best I ever read when very very young indeed. ;-)

ps. I don't really think I have included any spoilers from the movie, but I ticked that I did, just to be on the safe side, seeing as I mentioned the ending of the written story. :-)

Masters of Horror: Sick Girl (2006) Season 1, Episode 10

The very best in the Masters of Horror series!

[10/10 · 4 March 2008]

It has it all, great characters, (Angela Bettis putting in an even better performance than in "May"), great sets, quirky lesbians, originality, and insects! Most of all, the cutest little green leaf bug ever! The sight of him waving his little arms around as if in greeting, whilst perched on a finger, is the highlight of the insect scenes, easily making him the star of the show! How could anyone not go aaahh, he's so cute! - I just hope they treated him right! Anyhow, there was no point throughout the whole hour where I became bored or restless watching "Sick Girl", and that is very rare for me.

Full marks to the makers, for originality, interest, quirkiness, fascinating insect-filled apartment where the entomologist lady (Bettis)lived, (I would love an apartment like that one!) good horror moments for fans of the genre, humour without being annoying, as it often is in horror movies, but most of all, the star of the show, that adorable little green leaf bug. Aaahhh! He should have had a name and been given his own inclusion in the credits. So sweet!

Mom (1990)

A superior and very different zombie movie.

[10/10 · 28 September 2007]

Mom should really be given a different title to distinguish it from all the other movies out there called Mom or with the word Mom in the title.

This is a vastly superior zombie movie to so much of the rubbish that gets churned out time after time and all end up much the same as every other zombie movie out there.

It is so different and refreshing it almost defies categorisation.

The kind old lady who takes in a creepy lodger, who just happens to be a flesh eater, who then infects the old lady who also turns into a flesh eating zombie, or ghoul, quite which exactly is not defined.

There is pathos in the story as her son realises what she has become and while at first horrified, attempts to help her by supplying 'food'. (I shall say no more about that, for fear of inserting a spoiler!) It is one of those 'quiet' movies as opposed to guns blasting, explosions raging, car chases, etc boring etc that makes so many movies all the same rubbish, but still with enough gory moments to satisfy horror fans, whilst also inserting sadness into the story, along with nice touches of humour as opposed to downright silliness of some so-called 'horror' movies.

There is a particularly nice atmospheric shot at the beginning of the film, where the old lady is sitting alone in her room with only her Christmas tree for company and looks so 'innocent', but, what she becomes!! Oh my!

A gem of a movie and even if not your thing, should at least be viewed if only once by any true horror fan.

Frenchman's Farm (1987)

Brilliant!

[10/10 · 6 April 2006]

Absolutely brilliant! Intriguing, well thought out mystery.

Good acting. Original and inventive story.

The ghost cum murderer was extremely malevolent and exceedingly creepy in appearance.

The end left a few loose ends that could have been tied up, but all in all, an absolute delight.

Better than other high profile Australian movies like Picnic At Hanging Rock and the rather garish Wolf Creek.

This should be up there with the very best and be far more well known, it certainly deserves to be.

Ghost Story (1974)

An excellent and atmospheric ghost story.

[10/10 · 11 March 2006]

I totally disagree with the other comments I've read here.

I regard this as one of the best ghost stories I've seen. I love the atmosphere of it, the English gentlemen going to a luxurious country retreat, and the creepy feel of the place that the film conveys superbly.

The music used is highly effective too, especially the scenes where the doll appears.

The only scenes I wasn't that keen on were the ones shown in the lunatic asylum.

I loved the scenes filmed in the country house with the three friends, from the moment they arrived to the final scenes.

The 1920's music, and the McFadden character, {Murray Melvin} dancing to it, as he played a record, was a lovely touch that added to the enjoyment. It is the sort of house that I would love to visit for relaxation in beautiful surroundings, redolent of better times.

It has been many years since I had the pleasure of seeing it, and I long for a DVD release of this wonderfully filmed ghost story.