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House of the Dragon (2022)
"The Matt Smith Show"
God, this is levels of watching paint dry. As I watch, I imagine every single character as one of those cardboard cutouts being puppeteered around.
Nobody could be vested in this plot, because there isn't one, and everyone is so unlikeable that you honestly don't care what happens.
The first half of the season is listening to a girl whine about how unfair everything is and the second half is the same but she's a woman.
Emma D'Arcy's stone-faced acting makes Kristen Stewart look dynamic. Meanwhile, Matt Smith hams it up every chance he gets--as some sort of meld between the Joker and Dr. Who. Sometimes he looks like he's about to break into a "Hello My Ragtime Gal" song and dance number using his sword as a cane. Man., he gets so tedious, but at least someone is trying not to be a mannequin? ...Like the *entire* rest of the cast.
No, just no. No.
Team Epic (2008)
B-Movie Style Toronto Superheroes Rock!
Having seen some of the actors from this in full costume walking around a sci-fi con last year, curiosity finally got the best of me and I picked up a DVD of Season 1 through their web site.
Having NO expectations, I have to say that I was really pleasantly surprised! This is sort of a cross between "The Trailer Park Boys" and "Heroes". ...It's a comedy of sorts, but also has some worthwhile drama. Some of the CGI effects are great and some are intentionally goofy.
The plot is all tangled and sometimes doesn't make any sense whatsoever, but it's so fun to watch I often found myself happily lost just watching the strange scenes unfold.
Like most low-budget indie productions, the acting is occasionally lacking, but it seems in the second and third episodes all the actors got more comfortable with their roles and took it up a notch--especially Paul Kingston (Master Brood). Peter Higginson (Chromos) is superb throughout! And Captain Epic is just simply hilarious--what a great character--he's the Tick crossed with Captain America.
To the makers and actors: I hope you don't give up on this and give us some more great episodes. To potential views: Why not? Support the Canadian little guy here--you'll definitely get some good laughs and entertainment from it. ...And it's far better than the last season of "Heroes".
Appaloosa (2008)
Fimally--A Real Western For Western Fans!
In my opinion as a huge fan of Westerns, this is the greatest Western since the "Tombstone"/"Unforgiven" era of the early 90s. It's not preaching, trying to be philosophical, or pandering to make this palatable to the masses of Hollywood fans who enjoy the latest Adam Sandler junk, happily-ever-afters, and stupid movies about talking dogs.
It has all the essentials of a great Western--1) Fantastic dry/dirt/dusty towns and scenic backdrops, 2) A good guy who has serious personality quirks and isn't always so good, 3) A lilly-livered bad guy who is highly intelligent, 4) A woman who is a little suspect, 4) An ending that's not happy or unhappy.
It also follows what all good Western plots are SUPPOSED to be: "Bad guy does something *really* bad, good guy(s) show up in town, good guys drive bad guy's posse from town, bad guy tries to fight back, showdown, bad guy gets his come-uppins. THE END." That's all a Western's supposed to be. Why mess with the formula?
The last two big Westerns--"Brokeback Mountain" and "3:10 to Yuma", may be loved by the general populace but seriously miss the mark to most true Western fans. "3:10" is just philosophy all over the place with the talkiest villain ever--Eastwood's Man-With-No-Name would have shot the prisoner just to shut him up.
The acting in "Appaloosa" is superb all the way around--no need to list all the names because they all did a great job.
Lastly, it was fantastic to see Ed Harris is a wide-brimmed black hat again--slightly reprising his role from "Walker" (1987). I think Harris should have done far more Westerns in his career because he delivers us a damn fine character.
A Little Crazy (1994)
Ummm.... No.
I can't believe that only 5 people on IMDb have watched this so far. Me, being one of the suckers because I didn't bother to check how many people had voted for it to give it an 8.5 rating. It's not good. The acting is wooden (especially at the beginning), the dialog is cliché, the audio sounds overdubbed, and the overall feel is of an extremely (extremely) low-budget made-for-TV Disney movie. It's almost like it's aimed at 8 year-olds yet there are "adult themes" that happen every once in awhile throughout. Somehow though, in the last 20 minutes of the film, there is a faint trace of a whisper of a glimmer of charm. However, I doubt most people will make it that far in.
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang (2005)
"The Adventures of Ford Fairlane" Retold
This movie had probably the consistently wittiest dialog of any flick I've seen in years. The principle actors--Robert Downey Jr., Val Kilmer, and Michelle Monaghan all delivered sharp performances and I laughed out loud several times. Michelle was yummy lovely, I'll have to watch more of her work.
But halfway through, something started to really bother me... like, I started to realize that although the zinging one-liners were keeping me interested, the plot was becoming really dull... and very stupid. And I got the feeling I'd seen it before and was trying to place it. Bingo! "Un-!#$%ing-believable!" It ran almost exactly along the goofy storyline of Andrew Dice Clay's 1990 movie "The Adventures of Ford Fairlane". Even several scenes were setup the same--the way it was narrated, struggles in a park, hanging off a bridge/building. Anyone remember Zuzu Petals? So that's what I thought of this movie--it's just "Ford Fairlaine" with wittier dialog. Kind of fun, kind of dumb.
Lost in Translation (2003)
There's Something Sublime About This Flick
Anyone who's every travelled alone to a foreign country will heavily relate to this movie and will love it. People who don't ever or don't like to travel probably won't enjoy it. There are so many shots of the characters just doing things by themselves to pass the time--having a bath, swimming, laying in bed, being bored, being confused by strange things around you. This movie is so accurate to the lonely travel experience it's miraculous. I don't see this as anything like a "romance", there is something higher going on here--a story about love for another human, an almost stranger... the relationship is so complicated yet very simple--it is the same love that lovers have, that is between friends, that a parent would have for a child. It lets us know that we're all in this together.
There is a scene where Bob is singing karaoke and Charlotte is simply looking at him. It is an unbelievable look of love. I rewatch that scene all the time--Scarlett transcends as an actress in this movie. So does Bill, he reminds me of myself.
This movie has funny moments, serious moments, intense moments. It is probably one of the most realistic "life" movies I've ever seen.
Nochnoy dozor (2004)
Go Into "The Gloom"
I watch *a lot* of sci-fi and fantasy movies and I have to say that this was the best one in a long time. It's everything "Constantine" or "The Matrix" sequels should have been. The storyline, cinematography, and acting were all excellent. I'm convinced that all the negative reviews on here are coming from one individual--check it out, they all have only one movie review to their name. A jealous Hollywood director perhaps? I'm very disappointed that we didn't even HEAR about this movie in mainstream North America... but that seems to be the way lately, doesn't it? We have to discover great movies like this (and "Mirrormask") on our own. Halfway through I was convinced that this was the best action movie I'd ever seen. Unfortunately, the plot and action slowed down during the second half. I would have liked to see more of the "shapeshifters" transformations, especially from Tigercub and Bear. I managed to watch the sequel and found it equally entertaining. Congrats Russia! You're making better films on smaller budgets than the Hollywood bigwigs. But that ain't too hard considering the junk they've given us lately, is it?
Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
The CGI Effects Ruined It For Me
OK, obviously the CGI programmers on this film work out of warm Hollywood and have never even seen snow let alone have any idea how it moves! The snow moves sideways, flows upwards in some shots, and seems to have the properties of downy goose feathers, dusting up from the ground in light swirls at every movement. Up until that point, I had been having a great time, the costumes were fantastic. The director also went insane with CGI arrows during the last battle scene. There were about 2000 arrows constantly in the air for every archer on the ground. So many arrows that they were whizzing between the faces of actors as they talked casually, buzzing around their heads like mosquitos. I couldn't help it at one point and let a huge guffaw in the theatre. And to my surprise, other followed with laughter. All the people who say this is "Visually Stunning!", are right... but it's not realistic. Not even close. I doubt a true crusade battle would be a tenth as "visually stunning". If I want that, I'll watch "the Matrix", thanks. This movie would have been great, but they ruined it for me by cheesing out and trying to do the whole Hollywood overblown effects thing. (A PS to effects guys: Snow falls down--not sideways, not up, never up... unless you're using a snow-blower.)