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hendrikdeneyer
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Toni Erdmann (2016)
Awkward in the worst sense
Winfried is a German, weird middle-aged music teacher who likes to play practical jokes to the delivery guys (such fun!) and maybe because that is not fun enough, he decides to insert himself into the life of his uptight daughter Ines, a hotshot corporate executive of some sort based in Bucharest.
Over in Bucharest Winfried, for unknown reasons morphs into Toni Erdmann, a deranged alter-ago who wears a bad wig and false teeth, which are not quite enough to disguise him and yet those who know him don't recognise him.
Each episode that makes the bulk of this never ending movie seems disjoined and disconnect from a coherent narrative and the only thing they have in common is their cringeworthy awkwardness (pretending to be a life coach to Ines' colleagues, crashing into one her business meetings, wearing a stupid costume to a "naked party"...).
Needles to say, at the end there is no character development or resolution. This is just a butt-numbing two hours and forty-two minutes torture which I endured in four or five sessions, while suffering for sleeplessness at home. Can't imagine paying a ticket for this cr@p.
Masquerade (1988)
Classic mystery tale, with a twist
Featuring Rob Lowe in one of his roles of charming but ambiguous men, the plot develops around the enigmatic Olivia (Tilly) a rich but unfortunate orphan, who after the death of both parents ends up living with a nasty step-father who's after her money.
What starts as the usual thriller, with the Lowe character as the inevitable suspect, turns into a more complex tale when one of the allegedly "good characters" turns out perhaps not so good.
In a supporting role a young Kim Cattrall as Brooke is already exuding the raw sexuality she will develop for Sex & City and even if her role is secondary, she certainly makes an impression.
Baby Reindeer (2024)
Doubling his chances to score
Donny is the unsavoury narrator of his own escapades, with women, men and everything in-between, after a "bad experience" during a drug-fuelled cavorting, expecting to arise sympathy at his plight when a female stalker stumbles upon is scrawny self.
For a "protagonist" Donny is severely missing charm, decisiveness, direction or anything that makes a lead character. His only aim is to become "famous" as a comedian, even if he's as funny as root canal without anaesthetic.
When the rather pathetic, older woman shows up at the pub where he works, Donny mistakes her deranged obsession for "affection" and plays along with it, while at the same time dating Toni, a mysterious creature that certainly crosses the box "Prefer not to say" when it comes to state your gender.
Cringeworthy after cringeworthy episodes, it turns out that Donny has very promiscuous sex, and since this is supposed to be a "true story" a cynical audience cannot avoid to think that Donny is greedily seeking the wider possible approval rate, regardless of sex, sexual orientation or body size. "Look at me!" he screams "I am everybody's victim (actually, only of his abysmal passivity) and yet I feel sorry for all my persecutors and I can have sex with everybody! I am not judgemental!"
As somebody said, watch only if you run out of paint to watch dry.
Fire Country: Work, Don't Worry (2022)
Where's the serious firefighting?
I watched so far because this seemed an intriguing, suspenseful show, for once not about cops or doctors. Firefighters are tough guys risking their lives and I was expecting some professional challenges. By episode four the show already turned into a soap opera, with plenty of love stories developing, inclusive of the compulsory gay couple, named Aidan and Eve...how cute is that? And what's got to do with fire fighting? Except from the fire in your loins.
Not only that but the dramatic event of the episode takes place at a wedding, where the bride says "I'm starving to fit into my wedding gown". Why don't you just buy a size bigger?
To top the soap off, mama firefighter is very sick and just collapsing under the weight of her secret illness, while son Bode is hopelessly in love with whiny latina...
The Crown: Alma Mater (2023)
Tough life
I usually don't watch this type of show but the wifey likes it, so I watched it with her. The Crown has some good episodes but this isn''t one of them. Maybe because the "young" royals are pretty ordinary and not royal enough to represent an institution on the way out?
Anyway, in this episode the meddling Mrs. Middletown does her best to push Kate into William's arms. That may or not have been the case, but ultimately the decision to get married was theirs, so whatever meddling went on wouldn't have worked without the pair's consent.
Way more annoying was the cringey Harry, feeling so sorry for himself. Sure it must very tough to have a lot of money and no job to do. Whose fault it is if he cannot find a reason to live except petty revenge? Everybody else's but his, according to his point of view. Despicable.
The Fabelmans (2022)
Style over substance
With a sumptuous production and Spielberg at the helm, this movie can be anything but not hard on the eye, and the eye is the only part of the body that can get some satisfaction watching the carefully crafted scenes, the perfect costumes and the impeccable 50's settings.
However, movies are not only supposed to look good, but to have a compelling plot and as much as Spielberg might have an interesting childhood, this plot is anything but compelling. The actors are also sort of blah.
Most miscast is Michelle Williams, who I always liked, but who's totally overacting in this, like a frustrated pianist turned housewife on speed. Paul Dano is OK as the father but hasn't much to do. The kids playing the two versions of Spielberg are suitable, but not memorable. Perhaps the best scene is the one at the beginning with the train crash from another movie, but then everything moves downhill very slowly from there.
We get it that the kid loves movies but why do we have to see each and every scene of his first movie? And the lovable eccentric uncle is a bit overplayed, too, not to mention the "big secret" about daddy's colleague that's crystal clear from the first scene.
Beautiful, but kind of soulless and instantly forgettable. One star exactly because it looks so good.
Daisy Jones & The Six (2023)
The LA rock scene in a parallel universe
The series looks like it's set in the transgressive world of the LA rock scene of the 70s, but in an alternative universe, since the plot of is little more than a soap opera.
The focus is on young female characters, all beautiful and "fiercely independent" ... such a cliche... As if in the 70s chicks ruled the world of rock... Certainly not in this universe, where there were only very few female singers to achieve fame and lead bands, such as Janis and Grace Slick. The rock world was dominated by all-male bands, but whatever...
In this series we get very little information about the band members, maybe because they are all white males, therefore useless appendage in this female-dominated fantasy. The guys disappear in the background, even lead singer Billy who's is just an emasculated mush of a man compressed between "fiercely independent" women.
Makes you almost happy that Jim Morrison didn't get itched and reproduced, otherwise he might have turned into Billy instead of becoming the sexy legend he is.
Riley Keough is certainly very pretty and sings well, and the guy playing Billy is also good but they cannot save this extremely fictional story.
Summary: Soap opera with a light twist of decadence. Lots of love stories in main and side plots. The music is bland and forgettable, apart from the original songs of the era.
Moonage Daydream (2022)
Described as a "collage", more of an art student mess
This can be considered as an excellent example of style (if you like pseudo psychedelic) over substance. I am a Bowie fan who knows his music, I saw most of his video clips and some of this movies and throughout the years I read several interviews, therefore I could more or less follow this totally non-linear mess, but I was extremely disappointed because I learnt nothing new and Bowie sounded like a pseudo-philosopher with no sense of humour.
I felt this product was a total betrayal of Bowie's sense of humour and strong work ethics, because the director was too busy showing off how good he was with cutting and pasting psychedelic imagery over video clips I already saw in their integrity and enjoyed much more.
Some audience members enjoyed it exactly because it told no story... so I guess it's up to your personal taste to decide.
Diva (1981)
Fizzled
As a teenager I was mighty impressed when I watched this movie. Most of all, I was impressed by Gorodish's loft, a totally unknown type of living space, from a boy growing up in a standard flat. I was so naive that I did not even realise the lavish use of the colour blue was one of the many "artistic" gimmicks.
Watching it again, after all those years, I realised I did not remember the plot at all and I'd even forgotten some of the characters (Alba, just a touch of fluffy quirk). Even the Diva herself was a blur. The fact is, the plot is risible and main character Jules totally bland and forgettable.
This is just a soulless series of lavishly staged sketches, poorly played by mediocre actors. Only the actors playing Gorodish and Le Curé had a career of some relevance, while the other players fell through the cracks and rightly so. Even the music is boring, despite the punk/lyric pretentiousness.
One point is compulsory and one for that amazing loft.
The Power of the Dog (2021)
The power of gay cowboys, revisited
In this revision of Brokeback Mountain which takes places in New Zealand and it looks like it, even if they want to sell it as Montana, Phil and George are two wealthy brothers who have a fallout due to George's marriage.
George's bride is Rose, an unstable widow with a creepy teenage son named Peter. Phil is nasty to Rose once she moves into the brothers' ranch and she quickly turns into an alcoholic.
Enters Peter moving in with mum and the plot gets homoerotic, because Phil is swinging that way and Peter leads him down that path... or is he?
All this taking place at snail's pace and with minimum dialogue. If you manage to stay awake, while wondering what American cowboys are doing in New Zealand, expect no tension, thrills or anything even remotely resembling a satisfactory plot.
The Sinner (2017)
Getting away with murder
I watched only the first series and almost all of the second, but I got fed up even before reaching the notorious third series. Recurring character detective Harry Ambrose is a troubled guy, with a perennial annoying, crooked smile and a masochist personality. In the first series he has a liaison with a dominatrix who crushes his hands and does worst things with his rear parts, while killer Cora brutally stabs a guy to death, for apparently no other reason but not liking the song he was playing.
Turns out it's the fault of the usual culprit of woke USA, the Christian fanatics parents who worshipped Cora's sick sister Phoebe and stunted poor little Cora. Notwithstanding, Cora runs away from home only when she's well over twenty, while simultaneously dragging Phoebe to a drug-fuelled orgy, which will turn bad. Biel plays Cora as a dumb sex object, whose only lines are "I don't remember". Besides, she's still hot, but too old for the party (at 40 she plays 28). One suspects Ambrose helping her, because she's violent and he gets kicks out of fantasies of Cora dominatrix.
In the second instalment, the culprit is yet again your good, old Christians fanatics in the shape of a sinister cult, headed by angry Vera (also a murderer, but she did for a baby, so it's OK), a maternity obsessed, mean woman who wants to "save" creepy Julian, a teenager who poisoned two people for no reason (again, Julian is not guilty because he killed people due to misinformation). Ambrose does some unlikely investigation that makes you wonder how exactly the legal system works in the States (not well at all, one suspects).
It's a mystery why the audience likes this shameless manipulation, where character Vera utter sentences such as "They took Julian away from me and now they lost it", when what actually happened was Julian being in the locker for double murder and subsequently kidnapped by another cult-associated, nutty woman, friend of Vera. Unwatchable.
Hit and Run (2021)
Suspenseful enough
I am only on the second episode but so far so good. The actor playing main character Segev was in the excellent series Fauda and perhaps he does not have much of a range, playing again an angry and aggressive character, but his wife was killed and he's certainly not in a good mood.
I am curious to see how they developed this premise, but so far so good.
Attack of the Hollywood Clichés! (2021)
Patronising
Not surprisingly this is yet another Netflix production those only purpose is to impart the usual woke lesson Netflix is famous for.
It's a shame because it could have been funnier, without the woke angle and perhaps taking into consideration a lower number of cliches. There were too many mentioned and too few examples, chosen just to prove their point, disregarding a ton other movies going in the opposite direction.
Jaguar (2021)
Second rate Tarantino's influenced series
Here we go again with a motley crew of Nazi hunters and the compulsory, strong and fierce female lead. Shame that the acting and editing is so cartoonish, because the idea to expose the Fascist Spanish government of the 60s and its protection of Nazis is a good one.
Unfortunately the said female lead acts like the misplaced model she must be. Asked to step off the catwalk and pretend to be cool-hearted killer she's totally out of her depth. Totally, hopelessly unconvincing.
Shadowplay (2020)
Intriguing series
Max is a New York cop sent to Berlin in the aftermath of 1946, to train the local police, a motley crew of amateurs. Actually, Max is hiding something, his real purpose being a slightly more personal one than doing a good job.
Moritz is Max's insane brother, who may be the sanest person in Berlin, since his purpose is to hunt Nazi criminals.
The rest of the large cast is a mixed bag of scarred survivors and criminals with evil plans.
Despite some weak points, this series benefits from perfect settings, costumes and a decent plot. Even the main characters are more than the usual politically correct, cardboard cut characters found on Netflix notorious series. I would definitely recommend this show and I am surprised by the negative reviews.
Clickbait (2021)
An insult to intelligence
Nick is the perfect guy, happily married after many years, he still tells his wife how much he loves her before heading to work. Cloying.
Unfortunately for him, he's not good with technology, not as good as the over sixty secretary, who sets up all his devices for him. If this sounds far fetched, worse is to come.
Nick is kidnapped by white trash (underlying white), beaten, humiliated, threatened to death, but after hours of physical and mental anguish, he's set free.
A normal person would either run home to the beloved wife or to the police... or maybe first home to take a shower and kiss the wifey and then to the police. But not Nick. Not only he's not good with his devices, he must be the dumbest guy on Earth because he runs straight to the person who put him in jeopardy. Because when you are in dreadful conditions, the thing you need most is a heated confrontation, right?
The ruthless criminal(s) turn out to be two elderly white folks (underlying white) who did not feature in the show until the last episode. This is called sloppy writing or cheating or even messing with the audience.
Nick has a sister obnoxious as they come and a would-be lover, just as dumb as him, who lies for no discernible reason. Both white.
The rest of the cast is from each and every ethnicity, sexual orientation and religion so as to make this crappy show a masterpiece of integration, ruined by the usual culprit: the evil white folks and the plain, dumb ones.
Fauda (2015)
Gripping show
Having never visited Israel or the surrounding countries I don't know how realistic this is, but it seems pretty realistic to me.
The characters, contrary to the vast majority of American and British shows, seem very real human beings with flaws and all, rather than stereotypical, cardboard-cut, politically correct caricatures.
Main character Doron is a difficult man, with a bad temper who works for the Israeli secret service with a team of colleagues, each and every one interesting and very human.
The enemy they fight is also presented in a believable way, as fanatic but also cunning. The script tries very hard to make the viewer understand their point of view, even if for me it's next to impossible.
Finally, the tension in each episode is palpable and the cliffhangers at the end are truly gripping and not weak attempts to keep the audience interested.
The Blacklist (2013)
Outrageously far fetched but - occasionally - fun
Starting with a preposterous pact between super criminal Reddington and a motley bunch of FBI agents, the show is entertaining enough, providing you don't buy most of its far fetched plots.
This is a character driven series, with Ray Reddington as a complex, evil, yet fascinating character. Some of the secondary characters are also well developed, such as nerdy Aram, so unlucky in love and tormented agent Ressler.
The elephant in the room is Liz Keen, the so-called profiler who couldn't even profile her husband 😏 (Tom Keen was actually a more interesting character).
Liz has four daddies and they all fight to have a piece of her. Yeah, sure that is so believable... but wait, Liz also has a beautiful mother who just happens to be a star spy, a traitor and the most wanted woman on the face of Earth. Not to mention that despite being short and anorexic, Katarina can beat the crap out of men twice her size. Just like Liz.... and more female empowerment BS.
Still, there are several episodes almost or completely "Liz free" and those are the best.
La casa de papel (2017)
Meandering, nonsensical plot for a bunch of stereotypes
The only good thing about this series is the first episode, which makes you think it may be interesting, but then you may start noticing the similarities with "Inside man" and wondering if it's going to go the same way.
You wish it would, because this is actually much, much worse.
Probably conceived by a teenager without a single original idea, the script revolves around a bunch of stereotypes, such as Tokyo, the sexy thief (who would probably be better cast as a stripper); the mastermind Professor (an autistic that oversmart everybody); the ice-cold, hardened criminal Berlin (who is gossiping nonsense more than a Tarantino character) etc...
I gave up after the episode in which Berlin, for no reason whatsoever, takes one of the female hostages to his office and tie her to a chair (no reason for him to do that, just to drag along the story), while in flashback we see Tokyo and toy boy Rio having sex in the toilets (a scene repeated in countless movies) and the mighty Professor outsmarts everybody once again.
Teenagers will love it, because the bad guy are actually supposed to be good and there is nothing bored people like more that a fantasy where bad people do bad things and end up winning.
Blade Runner 2049 (2017)
Las Vegas is not what it used to be
The "hero" of BR2049 is detective K, a replicant that chases other replicants. Why? It does seems a stupid idea, but apparently the new, Nexus 8 replicants are more "obedient" than their predecessors.
K kills an escaped replicant, only to discover a big "secret" that the humans want to cover up at all costs. K is then chased by the human police and by the replicants' producer. He also starts to question his memories (as in Blade Runner) to discover a disquieting truth (as in BR, but in reverse...)
Finally, K starts searching for Deckart, now living in Las Vegas with a cute dog. Deckart and K have a completely useless chase and fight scene that takes place - guess what? Just like in BR, in a huge, empty building. As a treat, we get an holographic show with Elvis, compounded by an holographic Sinatra, a couple of scenes later. That was the highlight of the movie.
The plot is wrapped up by one of stupidest plot devices: the underground's fighters group, that manoeuvres K behind the scenes. Pathetic death scene, ripped off from BR, but with snow instead of rain and you are all set for another sequel. Not me, though.
As an open question I'd like to know why I should root for the "brave" replicant underground resistance. They want to be more like humans, but humans are evil, so replicants want to get more evil... or something... whatever...
I usually avoid "sequels" (AKA: commercial operations exploiting movies that were even only slightly successful), but Blade Runner is one of my favorite movies, so I caved. However, all stories must have an end and now I know that BR stands very much alone. I wish I could erase BR2049 from my memory, because of its offensive stupidity.
It could have been just another bad Sci-Fi story, but the manipulation of nostalgic crowd probably proved more successful.
I give half point to the dog and the other half to the holograms, which were cool.
Orphan Black (2013)
Started with a bang, fizzled out by season two
I started watching this a few days ago as I found the pilot unusual and compelling: a woman witnesses somebody looking exactly like her committing suicide. What could be going on?
The woman is Sarah, a questionable character just back in town to see the daughter she abandoned one year previously (and also to sell some dope). Sarah is an orphan who grew up with foster parent Mrs. S and "brother" Felix - the poster boy for stereotyped homosexuality.
Suicide girl was Beth, a cop who lived in a fancy apartment, with a fancy boyfriend and lots of money in the bank. Low-life Sarah decides to steal Beth identity and cash to build a new life with her daughter, but soon discovers that Beth's life was more complicated than it looked - perhaps the suicide should have been a hint?
Turns out Sarah and Beth are part of a cloning experiment by the Dyad corporation and many other clones are still around in the world, but somebody started killing them off. Allegedly, Dyad has each clone monitored, but here the plot starts derailing.
If the clones are monitored, surely lots of monitors are doing an appalling job, starting from Sarah, who's very much a loose cannon. Also the German clone seemed un-monitored, not to mention housewife clone Allison, whose monitor did not notice anything going on and killer clone Helena, free to come and go as she pleases.
Helena is a merciless killer but Sarah (and the show producers) want us to believe she can be "redeemed". Helena gets punched, shot and stabbed to death countless times, only to resurrect better than Terminator, and even finding time to maintain her badly dyed hairdo - which is perhaps the biggest mystery of the show, because dying and resurrecting must be very time and energy consuming.
By season 2, all the clones are pretty much in the open, the evil corporation identified and also the mysterious association of Christian integralists that's killing clones.
Having no more secrets to unravel the show starts cloning itself, with episode after episode of Sarah trying to protect her daughter, going on the run, Helena interfering, getting killed, resurrecting and then starting again. The other clones/main characters get background stories to fill time. Surprisingly, they dragged this for another 3 and a half seasons that I am not going to watch.
Grace and Frankie (2015)
A bit of a fraud and not funny
In one episode, a corporate executive mentions the fact that people do not want to see elderly women in advertising, let alone think of them having sex. With Jane Fonda in the lead, the scriptwriters/producers prove the point they allegedly want to challenge.
Fonda looks great for her age and she is a good actress, but your average over-70 grandmother she is not. She is an exception.
One of the problems of this unfunny show is indeed that it deals only with exceptions, such as the quirky and out-of the-ordinary lives of a group of privileged Americans.
Another problem is that the humour is lost on non-American audience. In fact, I see a lot more aggressiveness and agenda-pushing moments than funny ones. If I'd say that a show promotes hatred against those who do not share your point of view, most would think it is a bad show.
But Grace and Frankie does just that. Robert's mother is sent to burn in hell because she had a problem with homosexuality and integration. I wonder how many 90 yo are of the politically correct, uber-liberal type... The fact that the elderly might have a problem with current social rules is not acknowledged. It may also be using this show to settle private score, but loving and liberal it isn't.
Finally, even if Jane Fonda is good and believable, the other leads are not quite that good. Sam Waterston looks frail and sounds querulous, the Tomlin character is aggressive and pushy in a nutty way and Martin Sheen seems hopelessly lost.
However, the kiss of death is that this show does nothing for elderly women (as falsely advertised), it's overly verbose and most of all - it is not funny.